Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Nevergreen ❯ Epilogue ( Chapter 14 )

Nevergreen 14/?

There was a ditch down the side of the road after you passed the turnoff for Ootha that lasted all the way to Yarrabandi. It wasn't a huge thing, just you usual everyday ditch, but filled with water flowing out over the paddocks to the river and its slight valleys a ditch became a funnel of small rapids.

Trowa pulled the car over and turned off the ignition. They sat for several long minutes, not really looking at anything. It was easy; the grey was reflected in all directions and the road was little more than a black strip through it all, recently washed clean as if all its sins could so easily be erased.

Heero was the one to move, opening the door slowly, as if it might just be locked and not allow him to leave. Some small part of him wished it to be so, but the handle shifted under his grip and the metal wall gave way to the outside world and Heero Yuy left the Ute.

There was a tree sticking out of the ditch. It wasn't a huge thing, probably just a part of the whole cast off by a wayward lightening strike and tumbled across the way until it snagged on something, burying itself in the softened mud of the roadside. Such a mundane thing, dead and brittle and ready to return to the earth that bore it, yet such awesome power.

Heero was not sure what had happened. Could not begin to make his mind contemplate the intricacies of happenchance. Rather, he used the tree as his walkway and probed his way out into the once-was-just-a-ditch, sat down on its ledge and stared at the water below. It was still stained a ruddy pink that had nothing to do with the soil.

"You know, it's actually kind of hard…" Heero swallowed dryly, looking out at the paddock rather than down. "Most teacher's first days at new schools suck you know. Kids love to give new teachers mental breakdowns, you know how it is."

There wasn't any reply, so Heero just chewed on his bottom lip as he folded his arms over his chest and tried to stop them from shaking; tried to hide the fact he was shaking, pointless as that exercise might be.

"I thought my first day would be like that. It should have been like that. There was this damn galah…" Heero shook his head, chuckling softly at the memory even as tears threatened to form in his eyes, the prickling painful.

"I just…wanted to say thanks, I guess…" He slipped off the trunk, feeling his way into the water. It was halfway up his chest when he found the bottom, making it difficult to lift his arms, but he did it, reaching up to grab hold of the end of one of the many branches. He didn't need to keep it still, could have shaken it as much as he wanted, but he gripped it as if it were something he never wanted to let go and it barely moved in inch within his fist as he used his other hand to snap it off.

There was another, but this time he had to pry loose the fingers that still clutched the branch in their tiny grip and the fingernails chipped and tore as he ripped them from their perch. It took so much effort that his arm rebounded back and he slapped the pale flesh of the face, tearing a hole in the cheek. It didn't bleed. Just showed red and muscled beneath the slimy, drenched exterior.

Gravity did the rest of the work, the body falling from its stunted impalements and into his arms. It was heavier than he had expected, nothing but dead skin and muscle and too much water. He looked down at wide, glazed eyes and felt the tears finally forming, breaking their insignificant banks and dripping down…It was suddenly so quiet he could hear them land.

"Thank you Marie." It seemed all there really was to say. There was no real point for sorry. It had, as always, come too late.

He had to doggie paddle his way out, climbing up out of the ditch on all fours and dragging the body with him. It wasn't a person anymore. Not really. Trowa was there, waiting, and picked it up, not taking any particular care as he put it in the Ute tray. They didn't bother with a blanket, they didn't have one to spare, Trowa wrapping it about Heero's shoulders before they got back in the Ute.

And then they sat there some more, just watching, listening, thinking. Breathing, living, being. They sat as the sun fell from one side of the sky to the other and the mozzies grew thicker and thicker, the flies a cloud on the body in the back. The stench of water and dirt and death was everywhere, thick enough to coat all the world to the horizon and beyond.

But the sun broke through the clouds on its final decent for the day, and the water reflected its glory as it stained the world first blue, then violet, then yellow, orange, red…and in its last, dying moment before the silence became complete all Heero Yuy knew was gold, and the price you paid for it, and the reason you were more than happy to pay it over and over.

And people would probably leave. If it weren't for the sunsets.

Trowa started the engine. They passed a six foot grey kangaroo on the road, but it had lost its gloves and didn't want to fight. Heero couldn't blame it when he saw the unearthly shadows bobbing up and down in the makeshift lagoon he knew had been a wheat field the day before. The body in the back shifted and banged against the tray wall when Trowa swerved around the roo. Neither of them said anything.

No one came running out to greet them when they reached the station again, but Treize was standing in the doorway, by himself, waiting. It was Heero who got the body out of the back, who took it up the stairs and handed it over to the person who made sure it didn't stop. Handed the failure to that which failed. And it was Heero who stood there an waited, waited for hours until it was so dark he wasn't even sure there was anything there to wait for, until at last Treize sat back, released his hold and gave the body back. And then Heero Yuy took it around the back of the house and he folded it up so it would fit in the station freezer, taking the ice cream inside.

Duo was where he had left him, curled up on his side facing the wall, fast asleep. Heero didn't want to wake him, or Wufei who was out cold in the swag on the floor, so he went back outside to where Trowa was sitting on the fence; the fence they had made together.

"Quatre asleep?"

Trowa just nodded, gaze locked on the evergreen in the middle of the small car park. Heero picked at his shirt, trying to ignore the still-wet stains on it.

"I should have helped," Trowa noted idly, the words so soft they were barely there. Heero just shrugged.

"I wouldn't have let you."

A long quiet. A bilby scurried out from under the verandah, chased by a ginger cat. Heero wondered who would win but doubted it really mattered.

"What do you think she was doing?" Heero asked softly, trying to find a meaning, a purpose behind action; action behind the emptiness that resulted.

"Dunno. I guess that's one of the secrets she gets to keep." Trowa was smiling faintly. It wasn't something Heero could see, just something he knew. And he supposed there weren't really that many secrets in the world, and you rarely got to keep those that belonged to you.

"I'm resigning on Monday."

Heero looked across at him, hesitated. It was hard to see in the dark; hard to read the features, the body language that was so integral to being human. Without it they were just words, just…ideas, names given to things you couldn't really understand without some kind of light to guide you. Trowa had that light, but at school it was forbidden. Heero thought he might understand.

He wished he could do the same, but the truth was he liked teaching. The more he sat and thought about it, the distant patter of water sloughing away almost like rain, lulling him into a conscious land of dreams the more he realized. He liked teaching. He hadn't become a teacher because of what had happened when he was a student or because he hoped it might continue after. He became a teacher because he loved to teach; because he loved the look on a child's face when they learned something new and he loved knowing he could put that look on their face. He was a good teacher.

So was Trowa. But Trowa was in it for the art…for the picture it left behind when you finished and not the painting of the picture itself. Trowa was in it for the sunset; for the one brilliant moment that made all the rest worth hanging around for while Heero…

Heero was in it for everything else.

There was a shuffling at the door and they both turned to see a figure come outside, walking to the fence. The lack of moonlight wasn't dull enough to hide the long platinum hair that still made Heero's heart constrict, though not with pain as it once had…rather, an awareness of where he had been, what he had done, and where he could have been but was not.

"It's nice out here."

Trowa and Heero just nodded, each very much aware it was an action that could not be seen.

"Treize asleep?" Heero looked over his shoulder and vaguely made out a shift in blonde hair he supposed constituted a yes and smiled. Zechs came forward and climbed onto the fence beside Heero, leaning his elbows on his knees as he looked forward, into the night.

"I'm sorry you know." Zechs spoke so softly Heero barely heard it and a feint, sad smile broke the mask he had been wearing, but it didn't matter because no one could see.

"I know." But it was still too late. Always.

*

The others had left, gone to bed, leaving Heero alone with his thoughts in the wee hours as the fake dawn was smudging the horizon; that time when you would swear the sun was preparing to rise but it grew dark again before the real sunrise came. You only got that in the Bush, where the world didn't quite have an end; where the earth never quite kissed the sky.

There was a thick mist all over, rolling in off the water and filling up the whole flat expanse. There were shadows moving in there all the time, watching, waiting, little eyes hunting, smaller eyes running. Nature was wild at work in those early hours.

The fake dawn was almost at a close, that odd shade of indigo about to fade when he caught the flash of green eyes shifting in the mist. Heard the fall of boots on heard earth. Sensed the presence of another and looked up to see the girl, in her farm boots, her torn jeans and filthy flanny. The hair was wild as ever, knotted and scraggly, caked in filth as she leaned against the tree, just watching. Heero sat on his fence, just watching back, not daring to blink, wanting to see, if only for a moment.

She opened her mouth and he expected the scream, but it was a sigh that came forth, hot and heavy and it seemed the fog receded a little, just enough to show Heero that he could see the tree she was leaning against…through her. Just enough to prove his thoughts true; to reassure him he was right, even if it was just a dream.

"I lied you know."

"I know," Heero agreed.

"It wasn't too long."

"I know," Heero repeated, nodding to himself. "It's never too long. You can wait forever and still know there will be a lifetime after that."

She smiled, and it was the first time he had seen an expression on her face. He wondered what he had seen there before but could not quite recall.

"It's not too long for me either."

"I know." But it made him sad anyway.

"I'll wait forever."

"I know." But it wouldn't change it. Didn't really want to.

"Will you come too? When forever ends?"

Startled, Heero blinked, panicked momentarily before he realized she was still there, laughing at him.

"Yes, I'll come too."

She smiled at that and he couldn't help but smile too, but it was a sad thing, a futile thing, and it only made it hurt all the more to see through her without really knowing her.

She turned, as if to leave, but something seemed to hold her back, and Heero waited, patiently, on the fence.

"He'll love me more, you know."

"I know." But it's not the same.

"He'll always come to the river, you know."

"Yes, I know." But he'll go for the wrong reason.

"You'll go with him, won't you?"

Heero just nodded, that sad smile firmly in place.

And then she turned, and walked away, and he watched her for a very long time, until the landscape itself swallowed her whole, leaving him alone to the sigh of wet wheat and the scent of rot that would pass in time. Back to her dried up Billabong, to haunt her way through the ages, because that which she loved had nothing left to give. And nothing she wanted to take. And her words lingered on the breeze.

"I lied again, you know."

"I know."

*

The sun rose into a blue sky, not a cloud in sight, the air thick, heavy and putrid with microorganisms. Heero was sitting on the fence, alone, when Duo found him, leaning against his back and wrapping his arms tight around his waist. Heero placed his hands over Duo's not wanting to move despite the fact he was being eaten alive by mozzies.

"Ya look like shit."

Heero smiled, leaning his head back onto Duo's shoulder to look up at the sky, enjoying the sunshine, the heat, not minding the sweat drenching his shirt.

"Quat's cookin breakie. You think ya can eat something?"

Heero swiveled around and nodded, hopping off the fence and heading for the house, slowly, suddenly realizing just how many aches and pains he had.

"Tro's gonna live `ere now…Quat asked meda move outhere too…"

Heero started at that, looking up at the house, cluttered with the toys of he couldn't imagine how many Winner children, each already waking and creating more chaos. There was a constant hum of noise coming from that house during the day; a thriving rhythm that was just so alive…

"You should."

"I will if you do."

Heero stared at Duo for a long time before Duo laughed at him and hauled him inside. They both knew what his answer would be; what their answer would be.

Quatre was tossing gum nuts in the saucepan while Trowa flipped pancakes; real ones, not of the grub persuasion. Wufei was stalking the ginger cat. Heero moved to the toaster and started tossing pieces of bread in while Duo started making up some juice.

"The road should clear in the next few days," Quatre noted quietly. "The phones are back on. I rang the hospital. A doctor is coming from Orange. Should get here this arvo sometime." To take the body.

Heero tossed some more toast in the toaster, passing the cooked slices to Wufei to put in the oven to keep them warm.

"I'm gonna go for a drive later." To look for the other bodies.

"I'll come," Duo said cheerily and when Heero met his gaze there was understanding there and he agreed to go too. They would all be going, he knew. He took a moment to slap the mozzie chewing its way into his neck.

Treize and Zechs appeared, grabbed the carton of eggs and headed to the barbie on the verandah. Several of the kids followed them outside. Quatre's sister arrived in time to sit down with everyone and while it was a quiet breakie, filled with shadows and memories, it was the start of a new day, of a new life, and a chance to just start again altogether, and Heero could not begrudge the sun its heat. Or the mozzies their sting. Or the memories their lingering pain. He would linger on the scent of dust. On the warmth of human breath. On the weight of a word spoken softly in a field of wind-swept wheat. He would not forget the gold of the land, the blue of the sky or the pitch of the night. He would cherish the touch of a friend, the absence of the stranger he was yet to meet, the thought left to linger in a long dead creek. Because that was the sum of what it meant, to be nevergreen.

*

"Mr. Yuy! Mr.Yuy! There's a bird at the window!"

Heero looked over his shoulder to find most of the students out of their seats and clustered around the window. Sighing heavily, he put the book down and moved to go take a look. His fingers trailed over the empty desk at the front of the room knowingly and a faint smile tugged at his lips.

"Alright, back to your seats, it's just a bird!"

"But, Mr. Yuy! It's flying straight at the window!"

Heero smiled at the small year seven boy and pointed to his seat. Charlie Reid scuffed his shoes, slightly embarrassed, as he made his way back, the rest of the class following suit. A quick glance around the room showed Heero that the majority of the class was still partly hooked on the bird that would not doubt plow straight into the window in…

Five…

"Let me tell you something about galah's." The students were in their seats.

Four…

"They're like Bunyips." The students were silent.

Three…

"They can't live without the ones they love." The students were gaping.

Two…

"So they do anything they can to join them." He owned them.

One.

"Mr. Yuy, you're weird."

Heero laughed at Charlie Reid, and turned back to the blackboard as he heard the familiar thunk of the galah plowing into the window. He drew up the new game he had come up with to teach long division and quickly explained it to the students. It wasn't hard, when you learnt to have fun with it, and it was more than worth the night he spent on his computer dreaming it up, making sure it would work, when Charlie Reid hung back after class and handed in his work to be marked for the first time ever.

"Sinch, Mr. Yuy."

He lingered at lunch, watching the galah in its last few tries, knowing it was almost there. He didn't have anything to do in the afternoon, so he went to the library and borrowed a book and sat under the new pergola, right beside the little plaque the year seven students had put on it to make everyone remember why they built it.

For a non-descript little girl with a black hat who liked to tell everyone to shut up. He taught her fractions once, when he probably should have taught her to swim. That's why his name was no longer beside `walking' on the sport board outside the front office, but instead was on `swimming'.

Relena Peacecraft didn't have an exam on that afternoon, but Heero didn't mind that she came to sit beside him under the pergola. She was her usual, too charming self and she annoyed the crap out of him, so he scowled and glared and basically entertained her until the bell rang, when she packed up her things and sauntered off feeling good about herself.

Heero headed for the school gym, waiting at the doors until the exam was let out. Heero and Quatre emerged with wide yawns. The Goologong brothers looked completely stumped. They all shook hands, the Goolies shaking Heero's hand; thanking him for the extra tutoring because they were positive they wouldn't get a pink slip for the HSC now. They were happily aiming for something over thirty-five, which would be an achievement for them. Heero wished them luck.

They didn't catch the bus like Heero usually did. Instead, they went to the garage down beside the tractor company. Trowa was there, with Wufei and the old mechanic named Darby who had once done up Trowa's Ute for him. He was a little fat prick of an old fart, but he knew his trade.

They drove home together. In Heero's old black commodore. He parked it under the evergreen.