Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Nothing There Anymore ❯ Part 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Nothing There Anymore- by masamune

Part 3

Trowa shut the car door casually. Throwing his duffel bag over his shoulder, he walked down the small dirt path towards the safehouse. The large wooden structure loomed tall above the ridge it overlooked. It seemed to cast a silhouette onto the even darker night sky. Even though he had no logical reason, Trowa felt a premonition. The Heavyarms pilot stopped momentarily before unlocking the front door and then entering, making next to as little noise as he possibly could. The house was as dark on the inside as it was on the exterior. Trowa shut the door and knelt to set his duffel bag down. Standing he noticed rapid movement towards him in the darkness. He tried to react but had no time.

"OOF!" Trowa grunted as somebody jumped on him and pinned his body to the floor.

"You're home!" Duo's voice rang out clearly in the dusky hallway.

Trowa looked up to see the outline of his braided friend. The happy-go-lucky Deathscythe pilot was using his legs to trap Trowa's torso to the ground. Duo's thick, chestnut braid fell heavily onto Trowa's neck and tickled him.

Duo's face lingered just inches above Trowa's own and the startled Heavyarms pilot found himself staring into Duo's deep purple eyes.

/Christ he's beautiful/ The thought sprang up, unbidden, in Trowa's mind.

He shook his head and quickly threw Duo off of him. He stood up and brushed off his shirt. Duo also hopped to his feet. Trowa shot the Shinigami a dark look that seemed to ask, "What the hell did you do that for?"

"I'm just glad you're home. I…I thought you'd be happy to see me," Duo pouted as he looked at Trowa with round, puppy dog eyes.

"I…didn't mean to hurt your feelings," Trowa said finally, not sure exactly what to say. He could never tell when Duo was kidding or being serious.

Duo burst out in laughter and slapped Trowa on the back.

"You know I'm just playing with you ne?" Duo chuckled, eyes dancing with a light that only merriment could bring. "But seriously it's good to have you back. Ok. When you called and said you'd be delayed, I thought you might have gored yourself or some damn stupid thing."

This drew a nervous smile from Trowa. The former mercenary wasn't sure whether the fact that Duo had been worried about him was better than the fact that he hadn't noticed Trowa's growing erection. He was about to speak but was cut off by a cold voice coming from nearby.

"I trust the mission went well?" It was a voice that hissed like ice. A light went on in the next room and the outline of Heero's form could clearly be seen, a stark contrast to the glistening light behind him. "That's why you stayed longer, of course?"

Trowa nodded but shuddered inwardly at the dark feeling inside of him. Something in the way Duo's expression changed on seeing Heero set off an alarm in his head. The silence stood staunch and vast as the three remained in the dimly lit hall. Then Trowa asked what had to be asked.

"Where's Quatre?" Trowa's voice was calm but questioning. A sense of anger seemed to fill the question even though he asked it of both pilots.

"Why should you care? Upset that he wasn't the one giving you a hug?" The venom in Heero's voice stung deep. Trowa glared at the Wing pilot and it seemed that the two would attack each other at any given moment. Trowa didn't want to fight, but Heero was getting him riled up. Duo shifted uncomfortably and turned towards the Japanese soldier.

"Kisama Heero don't forget why Quatre is gone in the first place!" And even Trowa had to marvel at Duo's harsh tone. "Damn you and your stone cold heart. More a monster than a man. I'll never understand what Quatre ever saw in…"

"Where did Quatre go?" Trowa interrupted, firing the question at Heero. The stoic soldier said nothing and the Heavyarms pilot repeated the question, "Shimatta! Where is Quatre? What the hell did you do?!" A rare flare in Trowa's tone was still not enough to shake Heero's silent treatment.

"He left," Duo was the one to reply. "He left the safehouse a few hours ago. Took the Jeep. Wufei's out looking for him in the old Audi." Sadness and concern made his voice thick. Duo's normal angelic smile was nowhere to be seen

/That's why the driveway was empty/ Trowa thought to himself as a side note. /What happened while I was gone? …It probably was something Heero did… But right now I have to make sure that Quatre hasn't done anything drastic/

"He…he went into the city…I think," Duo said hesitantly, "Wufei saw him go and went after him."

"Baka will probably get himself killed or captured by OZ," Heero said, voice without remorse. "And it'll probably be one of his stupid mistakes that gets him in trouble."

Duo began to spit a terrible oath at the Wing pilot but was again cut off be Trowa's calm voice, "I never thought you were so two-faced Heero. Do you realize what you're saying? Do you realize who you're saying it about?" Trowa's voice was icy and almost threatening. "If you do… and if you feel that way in your heart about the one you love then-"

"I don't love him," Heero's response was flat and equally cold. Nothing in it could be deciphered or misinterpreted as anything other than heartless truth. Trowa's eyes locked with his comrades and for brief instant everything was quiet. "But it seems you do…" Heero almost whispered, loud enough so that all three could hear.

Trowa quickly turned and opened the front door.

"Trowa! Where're you going?" Duo asked, starting to follow Trowa out.

"I'm going to look for Quatre. You stay here," Was the simple reply.

"No way Jose! I'm going with you!" Duo almost pleaded. He took off at a run to catch up to Trowa. The Latin boy spun around suddenly and Duo bumped straight into him. The emerald and amethyst eyes locked once again and suddenly Trowa felt an impending urge to…

/Don't… not now/

"Stay here with Heero," Trowa ordered quietly. "He's not as strong nor as evil as you think. Watch him. Make sure he doesn't do anything to himself." He turned around again and started for the car.

"Nani?" Duo stood a bit stunned. He'd never considered the fact that Heero might try to hurt himself or even take his own life. The Perfect Soldier just didn't seem like the type to let anything get to him. He watched the car pull out of the driveway and speed down the hill, leaving a small drift of dust in the air.

As the headlights disappeared from sight Duo became aware of Heero standing behind him. The Japanese boy had a rather menacing smile on his face.

He spoke softly but the words fell like a bombshell on Duo's heart, "Hn, I see. You're in love with Trowa." Heero shook his head in mock sadness, turning to leave. "But he'll never even give a damn enough to notice. Seems he's always chasing after someone else."

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Hazy. Disoriented, angry, sad, guilt, fear, pain. It all blended into a haze of emotions that was reflected through sky blue eyes. Quatre's mind was a mist of pain and suffering. A torrent of bitter and morose thoughts flashed through him, none clearly deciphered, but still there like demons fluttering their black wings in fury.

To anybody's eye, he would appear to be a young, handsome boy, standing against a wall. Pale skin and a beautifully constructed face sparkling beneath blonde bangs. The noise in the club was loud and crude. The people were vile and many were drunk. Smoke, dankness and disco lights were the atmosphere. But Quatre could care less. He was here for one reason. Driven by desperation he had decided to come to this place, any place other than the safehouse. Anywhere away from Heero.

/I was a naïve baka for ever thinking he would love me/ Was what Quatre thought to himself as he wearily eyed his surroundings. /It really is my fault though. How could he ever love anybody as weak and stupid as I? I never should have started it. I'm worthless to him. I'm worthless to everyone…/

"Hey there cutie how about buying me a drink?"

Caught off guard by the interruption the Sandrock pilot broke his chain of thought. A short but pretty brunette stood in front of him. Her tan complexion glittered in the sparkling lights of the club. She wore a tight fitting, very low cut red blouse that read 'All Yours' in bold white letters directly over her breasts.

"Gomen, I'm…I'm, just not," Quatre stuttered and faltered with his words as the girl folded her arms over her large chest.

The casual, lazy smile disappeared from her face. "Why? What's wrong? You may even get lucky," She traced her hand lustily down the curve of Quatre's cheekbone as she spoke, making the Arabian blush.

He tried to think of something to say but the girl's caresses on his chest didn't do much to clear his head. "Iie, er…it's just that…uh…I sorta, don't like…uh," The words wouldn't come. After all, the entire situation was naturally awkward for a person of Quatre's upbringing…or sexuality for that matter.

"Oh shit! I get it now! Damn!" The caresses immediately stopped and the girl seemed to be annoyed at herself. "Hmph, 'course all the well dressed ones are queer," she muttered as she walked away from Quatre, moving only a few yards before stopping and approaching another young man.

"Implants," An unexpected voice came from beside him suddenly, "I just don't get what guys see in big lumps of fatty tissue…or in hoes like that either."

Turning to see a rather handsome man of about 30, Quatre nearly tripped on his own feet. The man was tall, with bronze skin and reddish hair, obviously dyed. He waved a cigarette casually, and took a puff from it before speaking again.

"If you're interested…maybe you and me can get out of here?" He offered blatantly, extending his arm and casting a smile. Quatre hesitated and the stranger said, "If you're not interested in females than that leaves you one real option."

Quatre barely could make out the man's words. Suddenly the music seemed louder, the lights brighter. The haze seemed to thicken around him. All so dense and heavy that Quatre felt like he was drowning in it. The strange man's cigarette smoke wafted its stench up to his nose. Drowning in haze. Shaking his head, golden locks fell over his eyes, adding its temporary confusion to the fray.

/Do I…want this? … What do I want?/

"I'm parked outside and there's a place I know of nearby. Name's Adremelk by the way."

/I want to forget. I want somebody, something to take the pain away. I want someone to love me…/

"Come on, I promise it'll be fun."

/I want Heero/

The stranger snubbed out his cigarette, leaving a couple bills on the bar. His right hand found Quatre's, and he began dragging the dazed blonde towards an exit.

"Iie, iie, gomen nasai," Quatre said, the haze clearing suddenly, his voice returned.

"Uhh…in English please?" The man asked, waving his hand.

"No, I'm sorry," Quatre tried to speak up over the music but his voice sounded incredibly small. "I'm actually waiting for somebody here. I'm terribly sorry."

"Ah whatever. See you around kid," the man waved his hand as he stalked back into the crowd. Quatre found himself all alone again. Or so he thought.

"For a second I thought you might leave with him," Clear and strong were the words that came from behind him. "Although I would have had to stop him if he kept being so pushy."

Whirling around yet again, Quatre faced Wufei. The Chinese boy looked very out of place in the gaggle of noise and disorder. Scowling, a dark opal gaze bore away into Quatre. A sense of joy and happiness almost made Quatre smile. But an immediate and even more disheartening emotion came. His eyes welled with tears and the Sandrock pilot tried desperately to contain them.

"Are you coming back to the safehouse?" Wufei's words were simple, but the decision wasn't.

/Should I? What's there for me?/ Wistful were Quatre's ideas. /My friends are there. But are they friends or is it because we're stuck together as Gundam pilots? Nobody wants to be around a weak and stupid person like me. I have no friends and I have nobody who loves me. Nothing's there anymore/

"It's entirely your decision," Wufei continued. "But don't forget that you have your mission as a Gundam pilot to fulfill. If you quit, then you let down those relying on you as their only hope. But if your sense of duty isn't enough to come back…then its fine." Wufei didn't add his own judgments, as much as he wanted to.

"What do I have to go back to?" Quatre's voice was strangled with sobs.

He wanted to collapse inside of himself and never be seen again. Barely able to speak over the loud noise in the background, he concentrated more on holding back his tears. Wufei opened his mouth to speak but was cut off.

"I don't care about duty. There's so much pain and suffering back at the safehouse. Anywhere I go there will be pain. I don't think there's anything you can tell me that can change my mind…"

The loud ruckus died away for a moment as if to allow the tense silence to fall over the two. Everyone was waiting. Wufei sighed and shifted his feet. A new song began to play over the loudspeakers and its beat echoed loudly. One renegade tear fell.

"I never thought I'd have to say this but…" The Chinese noble began. "Please come back to the safehouse, for Heero's sake."

He ended and his eyes dropped. It was not only embarrassing for himself, but Wufei felt he was hurting Heero's pride too. However, something had to be done.

A drunkard went stumbling by and brushed into Wufei. The last of the Shenlong pilot's patience went with his passing. He scowled at Quatre's indecision. The poor blonde haired boy stood stark still, face downcast and golden bangs falling over tear filled aquamarine eyes. Thoughts tunneled through Quatre's mind like relentless trains. He stood for a minute and then came to a decision.

"Alright. I'll go back with you."

-end part 3

Note: I wasn't too sure how to end this part … 2x3! One of the few pairs I haven't really done yet. Only 2 scenes in this part… weird. Oh well, part 4 will be more like the first 2 parts, as in it'll be shorter. Please send feedback to MasamuneEHS@hotmail.com Thanks!

masamune