Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ notice ❯ Starting Treatment ( Chapter 9 )

Title: Starting Treatment

Overall Rating: NC-17 for mature themes. Not for the impressionable.

Chapter Rating: PG

DISCLAIMER: The series Gundam Wing and the characters therein do not belong to me. I'm just putting them in different situations to see how they react.

Chapter Summary: Counseling can work wonders, but can be frightening too.

* * *

I do not believe in magic, there is no such thing. There can't be. Duo was just making a joke when he'd said that the counselor would 'wave his magic wand' and Duo would be 'cured'. I knew this. Such a thing wasn't possible…was it?

It had only been a single one-hour session, but Duo seemed like he was back to normal. Well, as normal as it is possible for Duo to be. He was smiling and joking again, just like he used to. He was even back to his "innocent" flirting…just like he always did. I was glad to see this return to "normal" behavior, but it was sure playing havoc with my hormones!

"I'm really glad to hear that you're doing so much better, Duo."

I quietly closed the door behind me. Duo was on the phone with Quatre and I didn't want to interrupt.

"Yeah, well, I'm getting there, anyway. It's not like there's much else to do, ya know?"

"You don't have to stay home all the time, you know. Why don't you go out?"

"Aww, that's so sweet of you, Quat. Won't Trowa mind though? Somehow I can't see him as the sharing kind."

I stifled a smile as I heard Quatre sputter at the blatant innuendo. Yep, that's my Duo, alright.

"But what about Wufei or Heero? Either of them would go out with you if you wanted them to."

"Wu-man's straight, Quat, you know that."

"And Heero?"

Silence

"Duo…is there something I should know about you and Heero?"

Damn, I really have to stop eavesdropping like this. It's getting to be a very bad habit.

"Huh? Oh…no…no, nothing like that. Heero's been great. In fact…"

Duo looked up and spotted me hovering in the living room.

"Hey, Q-man. I gotta go. Heero's home. Talk to you later, k?"

"All right. Tell Heero I said hi…"

Anything else Quatre might have to say was cut off as Duo hit the disconnect button and bounced in my direction.

"Duo! That wasn't nic…"

I suddenly found myself with an armful of braided baka. It was all I could do to keep from being completely knocked over from his enthusiastic hug. As it was, I just managed to keep my balance, albeit staggering a bit.

"You seem to be in a good mood," I said, gently prying him off and taking a seat on the couch. "I take it things went well with Sally?"

"Yeah, it was easy." Duo plopped himself into a seat at the other end. "I just told her what I needed and she wrote out the prescription." His cheeks colored slightly. "Well, she wrote it out after she made me tell her why I needed it. I swear, that story gets shorter and shorter every time I tell it." He grinned at me. "Maybe I should have waited a bit to tell it to you. Then you could have gotten the extremely abridged version."

I considered that for a moment. "Maybe, but then you wouldn't have been able to get if all out. You needed that."

Duo looked surprised then thoughtful. "Yeah, I guess I did. Are you sure you're in the right profession? You'd make a pretty good head-shrinker, you know."

I shuddered at the thought of strangers telling me things along the lines of what Duo had. "No thank you. I'll just stick to helping with your problems. Between yours and my own, I think I'll have enough to deal with."

"Yeah, probably. You've been a big help. What would I do without you?"

I pretended to give that careful consideration. "I don't know…" I peaked at him through my bangs, fighting a smirk. "…starve?"

Duo stared at me, dumbfounded, then growled, playfully. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped as I dodged the pillow he threw. The next thing I knew, he had tackled me. We tumbled over the arm of the couch to the floor, rolling around in a mock-fight. Had it been a real fight, I would have beaten him easily. As it was, we ended up with him straddling my hips and pinning my arms over my head.

"Admit it, I can cook as well as you can."

"Ok, I admit it. You can follow the directions on the box without any difficulty at all…" I smirked at him. "…most of the time."

He growled again, then paused. The mischievous gleam in his eye made me nervous. With an evil grin, he leaned back on his haunches and raised his hands, curling his fingers and flexing them repeatedly.

Oh shit.

A couple of minutes later I gave in, panting from the laughter and inwardly cursing Dr. J for not adding tickling to the myriad of things I had been conditioned against.

"There, that wasn't so hard, now was it?"

"Hn." That was about all the response I was able to make at the moment.

Duo collapsed against me, his head nestled on my chest while I fought to catch my breath. My arm instinctively curled around him. We lay there for several minutes. Finally, my breathing eased and I realized that the floor was not exactly the most comfortable place to be.

Or rather, it wouldn't be if it hadn't been for the warm body snuggled against me. This was nice…very nice. I think I could get used to this.

Duo's stomach chose that moment to protest. "I guess I shouldn't have skipped lunch," he said with a laugh. He levered himself up, then reached down to give me a hand. Together we went into the kitchen to work on dinner.

While we cooked, Duo told me about his appointment with Sally. "She made me agree to commit to taking the pills for a year." He grimaced. "I hate taking 'anything'."

"But if it helps."

"Yeah, I guess. She said that it takes a while to build up, that I shouldn't really notice a difference for a week or two."

"One dose and you're bouncing all over everywhere and attacking me," I said, managing to keep a straight face. "Gee, what are you going to be like after two weeks of that stuff?" Duo narrowed his eyes and started looking around for something to throw. While his back was turned, I grabbed him, pinning his arms. "Hey, I was just kidding."

I swear he all but melted against me. "Yeah, I know." I loosened my grip and he turned around, wrapping his arms around my neck. He leaned his head forward until our foreheads were touching. "No one's ever gonna believe this, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"Us. I'm totally spilling my guts to a counselor getting my head screwed on straight and you're actually cracking jokes."

"We've come a long way, haven't we?"

"Yeah, we have." Duo pulled back, still making eye contact. "I still have a ways to go yet, though."

"I'll be there to help you through it. You know that."

"I know."

Duo started back towards me, eyes slowly closing and his head tilting slightly. My own eyes started to close and my grip around his waist tightened.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

I wasn't sure whether to curse that timer or bless it. Either way, it's timing was most definitely impeccable. I had the feeling that if it hadn't gone off at that precise moment, we would have started something that I still wasn't completely sure that Duo was quite ready for.

The mood broken, we separated and continued fixing dinner.

* * *

"Hey, Heero, I'm home!"

I looked up as Duo came in. "How did it go?"

"Ok, I guess…" Duo stood still, staring at me. "Heero," he said slowly, "what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I responded with a grin. I could imagine how strange the situation looked to him. At the moment I was sitting on the floor of the living room a large piece of cardboard in front of me. The board was covered with small, multi-colored, oddly-shaped pieces. I chuckled as Duo rubbed his eyes and stared at me again.

"A puzzle? You're actually putting together a puzzle?"

"Sure, why not?" Duo lowered himself to the floor across from me. "You've got a pretty good eye for detail, care to join me?"

"I guess," he said. Then he seemed to get over the shock factor and brightened. "Sure, why not?" I handed him the top of the box to show what the picture was supposed to be. We worked together in a comfortable near silence. The only comments were the occasional request for a specific piece that was out of reach.

After about an hour, we had the border completed and several bits of the center put together. Duo sat back. He laced his fingers, raised his arms and stretched, sighing as his back popped. "What on earth ever possessed you to get a puzzle?"

I sat up also, rolling my shoulders to work the kinks out. "I found it when I was digging through the linen closet earlier. Why it was stuck in there I have no idea."

"Where did it come from?"

"You remember that gag gift you got a couple of years ago?"

Duo looked thoughtful, searching his memory. "Oh, yeah. That 'themed' gift exchange. We were supposed to get toys, right?" I could tell that he remembered the incident from the wicked grin that crossed his face.

"Yes, that one."

"Yeah," he said with a laugh. "I can't believe I forgot that. Wufei ended up with the one I'd brought. You remember the look on his face when he opened it?"

I snickered at the memory. "I didn't know that he could turn that red. I wonder what he did with it?"

"Hmm." I distrusted that expression. "I'll have to remember to ask him about it."

"Duo, you wouldn't dare."

"Why not?" He started laughing. "You don't suppose he ever actually used it do you?"

"Wufei using a vibrator?" I really did not want to picture that. "Somehow I doubt it." I stood and stretched again, then spotted a folder that Duo had dropped on the couch. "What's that?"

"What's what?" I indicated said folder. "Oh, my homework folder. I picked it up on the way home. I wanted someplace to keep the homework I do for the counseling sessions and the notes I take."

"You don't turn the homework in?"

"Nope, he never even looks at it. It's just to help get me thinking and to give me ideas of what to talk about."

"So, things are going ok?"

"So far, anyway." I got a bit concerned when Duo wouldn't meet my eyes. "I should warn you, though. Things may get worse before they get better. At least that's what he told me today."

"What do you mean?"

Duo still wouldn't meet my gaze. "I just thought you should be aware is all."

"Duo…" I sat next to him and slid an arm around him. "Hey, talk to me."

"I'm just sort of nervous, ya know? I mean, I want to work through this. I really don't want a repeat of what happened…ever. But…" He curled up tighter, then shook himself and sat up, pulling away from me and running his hand through his bangs. "Shit, look at me. I used to face down armies of mobile dolls with hardly a care, and now…" I just waited, giving him the time he needed to organize his thoughts. He rested his elbows on his knees and cradled his head in his hands. "Who knows what sort of demons I have hiding in the dark corners, ya know? I'm not so sure I'm all that ready to find out."

"Sort of overwhelming, isn't it?"

Duo looked up at me. "Yeah."

"I know." I scooted back to lean against the couch, head back and staring at the ceiling. "All those years, I was conditioned to repress my emotions. Eventually, they were so locked away they were all but gone, you know." I raised my head to look back at him. "But you wouldn't let them stay hidden. You dragged them back out…" I smirked slightly, "…sometimes kicking and screaming." Duo returned the smirk at that comment. "But you found them again. I still get overwhelmed sometimes. Just by the force of what I feel. Sometimes I'm not sure how… or even if I can handle them." I reached out to him. He took my hand and I guided him into my lap. I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled his hair. "But you're always there when it happens, when I feel like that. You always keep me grounded. Let me do that for you." I took one of his hands and interlaced our fingers. "You kept a hold of my hand and brought my emotions back out into the light. Let's use that same light to shine in those dark corners… and I'll hold your hand this time… all the way."

"Why?" he whispered. "I know why I did that for you. No one should have to live like that. But why would you go through something like this for me?"

"Because I love you, remember? You helped me because you loved me, even though you wouldn't admit it. You taught me how to feel again… to love. I want to do this, to help you. I want to be there for you like you were for me. Going through this is frightening when you're alone, but you don't have to be. I'm here…always."

"But you won't even…"

I silenced that argument with a small kiss. "No. I won't. And it's because I love you that I won't have sex with you yet. Duo, you told me that you'd ended up in bed with almost everyone you'd ever gone out with. I refuse to use you like they did. That's the cause of some of those demons you're so afraid of. Once you've been able to deal with some of that…only then…when you're ready."

Duo tilted his head upwards and whispered in my ear, his voice intentionally husky. "And if I'm ready now?" He proceeded to suck on my earlobe.

I melted slightly at the sensations that small gesture and his voice sent through me. Then I growled and pushed him back, lowering us to the floor. I gave him a hard, if brief kiss. "You're not and you know it." I pulled back and stared down at his smirking face. "You're going to make it as hard as possible, aren't you?"

"Oh, gee, I hope so," he snickered with a wicked grin.

"That wasn't what I meant, and you know it." I rolled off him and sat back up, carefully distancing myself from him.

"I know." He sighed as he sat up also. "I'm just not used to this, you know?"

"Yes I do. But it's about time you were treated with the respect you deserve. You're not a…" I remembered our earlier conversation. "…a sex toy. You're a beautiful, wonderful person. I believe that, and I'm going to do my best to make you believe it also."

"You're too good to me, you know that?"

I grinned and thumped his nose. "I know." Duo made a face at me and stuck out his tongue, making me laugh. "You feel better now?"

"Yeah, I do." He leaned back, resting his weight on his hands. "So, what are we gonna do tonight? TV, watch a video, or work on the puzzle?"

"How about stick in a video while we work on the puzzle? It's sort of relaxing."

"Yeah, it is, isn't it? Cook or take out?"

I considered the contents of the kitchen. "Take out. Neither of us went shopping."

Duo jumped to his feet. "Great. I'll make the call while you find a movie."

I grinned as I stood. "Ninmu ryoukai."

TBC