Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ On My Own ❯ On My Own ( One-Shot )

Title: On My Own

Author: Windy-chan

E-mail: windykotaa@earthlink.net

Archive: If you want it, just ask. ^^'

Pairings: 1+2, 1+3 (one-sided)

Warnings: Major angst, shounen-ai, OOC?

Category: Songfic (again), POV (Trowa), Romance

Notes: I really gotta stop writing these at 1 am... ^^' I also wish my angst muses would leave me alone. The song "On My Own" is from Les Miserables, a beautiful song in a fantastic musical. I hope I did it justice... beware, much angst at poor Trowa's expense... >.< If that sort of thing affects you, you might want a tissue handy...

Disclaimer: Neither Gundam Wing nor the song belong to me. ^^' Just borrowing them for a while...

-------------

On My Own

By Windy-chan

/ / - Lyrics

/And now I'm all alone again

Nowhere to go, no one to turn to

I did not want your money, sir,

I came out here 'cos I was told to.

And now the night is near. Now I can make believe he's here./

Cold. So cold. My arms are wrapped tightly around each other, pulled close against my chest in a desperate attempt for warmth. It was hopeless. My hands felt like they were burning, they were so cold. My ears were numb, my feet were numb, my breath was white in the frigid air. My body refused to stop shivering, thought I kept trying in futile attempts.

My footsteps echoed as I walked along deserted streets. I didn't know what time it was. I couldn't even see the moon, for the night sky was blocked out completely by ominous , dark storm clouds. The only sources of light were the sparse, dim streetlights. The cold emptiness wasn't helping my depression. I wanted to escape my depression by leaving... but even now I was wallowing in it. I'd completely forgotten my excuse for leaving... I suppose I should've tried to remember, but it didn't seem to matter. I don't think either of them really cared. Certainly not Duo, I'm sure he'd rejoiced at the chance for the two of them being alone, and Heero... oh, Heero...

/Sometimes I walk alone at night when everybody else is sleeping.

I think of him and then I'm happy with the company I'm keeping.

The city goes to bed.

And I can live inside my head./

I continued to walk down empty streets, oblivious to anything around me. Not that there was much. It was well after midnight, I knew that much, so all decent folk were in their warm beds, dreaming pleasant dreams of peace and happiness. If I could've been, I would've been jealous. All I ever dreamt were nightmares.

Was it wrong of me to long for him? To wish that Duo was gone so I could take his place in Heero's arms? I suppose so... I didn't hate Duo... really, I didn't, I just... just wished I'd reached Heero first. But I hadn't... so there I was, wandering alone, longing for a dream, a fantasy that could never be. It was just as well... he wouldn't be hurt when I die in this war.

/On my own

Pretending he's beside me.

All alone I walk with him till morning.

Without him,

I feel his arms around me.

And when I lose my way I close my eyes

And he has found me!/

I wasn't exactly sure when I'd started feeling that way about him... some time after I rescued him when he self-destructed. There was something