Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ One Dark Night ❯ One-Shot

Night is by definition dark, but by saying it was a dark night, you
wouldn't sound like an idiot repeating the obvious. It was one of
those nights where the combination of rain and cloudy gloom swallowed
light. The shadows were impenetrable, the roads looked like
bottomless black pools, and wind-lashed branches were visible only
through the sound of their creaking. All in all, the perfect night to
stay at home. And it suited Duo's mood perfectly.

//Bloody Hell. I shouldn't care. I should be happy for them.// Duo
stared out the window, hearing the low moan of the wind and the lash
of rain against the panes. He knew there was a tree not very far
beyond the glass, but he couldn't see it. He thought it might be the
slightly darker patch of black. A muffled laugh came through the
wall, followed by a thump.

Duo made a face and resisted the urge to break something. //I don't
care, I don't care, I don't care.// He repeated it a few times,
hoping to convince himself, but he knew it wasn't the truth. //Shit.
I may run, I may hide, but I don't lie. Not even to myself. So
admit it, Maxwell, you're jealous.//

Duo frowned at his warped reflection in the glass. Warped... maybe
he was warped too. It would explain how he went from having more
companionship than he could handle to being alone. Alone and bitter.
Tears prickled behind his eyes and he fought them back with a bitter
sigh. It wasn't fair.

Everything had been perfect, like a dream. In retrospect, too
perfect, but who was Duo to complain? Life wasn't pretty, so he'd
learned to simply take what happiness he could find. And he had
wanted so desperately to be happy, to have someone. Perhaps that's
what had allowed things to get out of hand. //Maybe I made something
out of nothing.//

~Flashback~

The pilots were all in hiding at a boarding school again. Duo had
been over at Wufei's room to study, then had simply curled up on
Wufei's bed as it began to get late. He had only vaguely been aware
of Wufei putting up books, and coming to stand beside the bed.
"Maxwell," Wufei had sighed in soft resignation, and then he had
turned out the light and laid down on the bed.

It was a narrow twin, definitely not meant for two, but it only took
Wufei a little wiggling before he was comfortable, and Duo had still
been in a warm sleepy daze, certainly not complaining. After all,
Wufei wasn't throwing him out. That was a definite plus. Without
really thinking, he'd snuggled up against Wufei, barely noticing his
arms around him except that they were keeping him warm.

He had only slowly become aware of how close he was to Wufei, how
their legs had gotten tangled, Wufei's breath stirring his bangs, how
they were nose to nose. And then he slowly became aware of Wufei's
racing heartbeat. Sleep was forgotten as he stared wide-eyed into
the pitch black, waiting for something that now seemed inevitable.
But Duo wasn't going to, couldn't, take that step. When Wufei's
voice sounded in a bare whisper, he'd almost jumped. "Duo...may I
kiss you?"

//Trust Wufei to ask. Such the gentleman.// "Yes..." Duo whispered
in response. Anything louder would have been sacrilegious, somehow.

Wufei closed the few inches and gently brushed his mouth over Duo's.
Hesitantly, then with more confidence, he explored Duo's lips. Duo
shivered at the tingle that chased down his spine. Duo returned the
kiss just as slowly, his own doubts keeping it chaste. As Wufei
slowly pulled away, he sighted softly. "Why didn't you do that
sooner?"

"I wasn't sure until a minute ago that I wanted to." Wufei sounded
slightly puzzled, but pleased.

"I was sure you wanted to a lot sooner." Duo smiled in the darkness.

"Then, can I kiss you again?"

"Of course."

~End Flashback~

Duo sighed at the memory. They'd spent the night exchanging
whispered confidences, leisurely kisses, and rather chaste, exploring
touches. By the time morning rudely intruded on their little idyll,
Duo was sure there was something there. And Wufei certainly hadn't
seemed to disagree. He'd been affectionate, and had actually
continued to call him by his first name during the day. That had
been the beginning of a whirlwind romance. //Romance...odd I should
think of it that way. It was an infatuation, nothing more.//

But it had seemed perfect at the time. Friends and lovers in a
wonderful balance. More accurately, it had been a whirlwind of
firsts, for him, at least. He would never have expected Wufei to be
the dominant party, the initiator, but he was. Duo tried not to
think about where he'd gained his experience, and Wufei didn't
volunteer the information.

But Wufei was creative, Duo would grant him that. Going camping
wasn't something that would have occurred to Duo, neither was sitting
by the camp fire, naked in each other's arms as they cooked hot dogs
over the open flames. It was also amazing what you could manage in a
small shower stall. The true beauty of it hadn't been in what they'd
done, but in how special Duo had felt as Wufei introduced him to each
experience. The world had seemed so much larger with each first, and
Duo loved it. It was all like a fairy tale come true. Until the
infiltration mission.

Duo hadn't wanted to leave, and Wufei wasn't terribly happy about it
either. But Duo really was the only one of them who would have any
luck infiltrating the underworld where OZ big shots amused
themselves. So he had to go. Duo had promised to get in touch as
much as he could, which admittedly couldn't be too much, but it was
better than nothing. Duo left early in the morning with a teary-eyed
good-bye for Wufei.

//I wonder what it would have been like if I hadn't had to leave?//
Duo shook his head, focusing again on the reflection of light off the
glass. That kind of thought was pointless. It had happened, and now
it was in the past, unchangeable. The mission had been a success,
but his clandestine communications with Wufei had taken an odd turn
as time went by. Something was up back on the home front, and Duo
wasn't quite sure what it was. He'd even spoken to Heero once, and
had been pleased as punch, after all, Heero was his best friend, but
that had been brief, and somehow off, too.

//I should have realized what was going on then, but I didn't. I was
too blind, too fixed on how wonderful I'd felt when I was with him.
I was so eager to get back to that.// Duo shook his head, reality
reasserting itself by another lash of rain against the window.
Another thump, and some muffled laughter from the other side of the
wall reached his ears.

//But how would I have guessed that my boyfriend and my best friend
would hook up in my absence?// He'd only been gone about 3 months,
both long and short, depending how you thought about it. It was
understandable. They were all young, and death hovered over them
daily. Live for the moment, carpe diem, and all that shit. //I
probably wouldn't have gotten upset, well, not as upset, if they'd
just told me about it when I got back, but no, Heero had somehow
convinced Wufei that I was meant to be with him. So Wufei tried to
carry on like nothing had changed, even though everything had.//

The week he returned had been odd, but any long absence would change
things. It wasn't until the end of the week that Wufei sat with Duo
and they had THE Conversation. Duo had been expecting it, but it
still hurt.

~Flashback~

"Duo...you're wonderful, perfect, in fact, and I love you...but
not...that way." Wufei had paused for Duo's reaction, but Duo had
sat perfectly still, not speaking.

"For the last week, I've been having to force myself to kiss you. I
don't know what happened to change things, but..." Wufei shrugged
uncomfortably.

"It's alright. I've been expecting it." Duo spoke in a calm voice,
his face smooth. The rising tears weren't visible.

"I had hoped that I'd get past this, but I've found I'm not willing
to tell you about all of my past, and I don't see how I can be with
you forever if I'm not willing to share everything. You're still my
friend, of course. Maybe it'll change-"

"It won't change. Let's not pretend." Duo cut him off. He really
didn't want to hear it.

"Duo...I didn't want to hurt you."

"Too late for that." Duo's voice broke with the withheld tears.

"Oh, Duo, I didn't mean..." Wufei reached for him.

"Don't!" Duo flinched away, ignoring the hurt that crossed Wufei's
face. He deserved it. "I'll try to be your friend, but that's all
I'll promise."

~End Flashback~

Another laugh from the other side of the wall brought Duo back.
Wufei had eventually told him about Heero. Heero had never
acknowledged it to Duo, but hadn't hidden it. And Duo adjusted. The
only thing he was bitter about was Heero. That Heero, his best
friend, never, ever, had any time for him. //Hell of a thing, to be
jealous of the time your ex gets to spend with your best friend.//

Duo tried to ignore the happy sounds from next door. Whatever they
were doing, he really didn't want to know. He stared through the
window again. //I'm on the wrong side. I should be out there. I
already feel like I am.//

Another thump followed by something that sounded suspiciously like a
moan sent Duo to his feet. He didn't want to be here. He grabbed a
coat and rushed from the room, down the stairs. He was out the front
door before Quatre could form a question.

The rain was cold, and lashed out at him, leaving stinging lines on
his face. Duo couldn't see through the darkness, but that didn't
really matter. He didn't care where he was going, just away. He
didn't know how long he walked, but when he fell, he didn't bother to
pick himself up, just settled on the ground. He could hear rushing
water nearby, maybe that was the shifting shadows ahead of him. He
wasn't sure. The rain continued to beat at him, assisted by the
wind. Trees creaked and groaned in protest of the storm's fury. Duo
merely sat, staring into the darkness, toward the water. Though he
couldn't see it, he could sense it was rising. His clothes were long
since soaked, but he barely noticed, except for the extra weight in
his hair.

A feeble beam of light settled on the rushing water. Closer than he
had thought. Then a hand settled on his shoulder, and he jumped. He
hadn't realized how cold he was until the warmth of the hand seeped
through his clothes to his chilled skin.

"Duo."

Duo continued to stare at the water. The hand shook his shoulder.
"Duo...come on, we should head back to the house."

Fury suddenly consumed him. He angrily swatted the hand away. "Hell
of a time to care, Heero. Go away."

"No. Come back to the house." Heero hadn't moved away.

"Go away! We already know where your priorities lie, and friends
aren't there, so Go AWAY!" Duo's voice steadily rose to a shout, and
he threw a punch in the general direction of Heero, succeeding only
in pushing both of them off balance. Heero looked at him from the
mud, the flashlight fallen a few feet away illuminating them both.

"Is that what I've made you think?" Heero sounded shocked.

"No, that's the message you've clearly sent." Duo glared, wishing
that he could feel his feet and hands well enough to dare trying to
hit Heero again.

"That's not what I meant...Duo, you're my friend...you're my best
friend. Nothing changes that." Heero's voice sounded odd, muffled.
Duo ignored it.

"You're wrong. Wufei changes that. I can accept it being over
between him and me, and I can accept that you and he got together,
but I can't accept that what that meant was you no longer had any time
for me. Of all the times that I most needed you, needed a friend,
you weren't there." Duo's eyes filled with tears. "You weren't
there."

Heero was suddenly folding him up in a hug, and Duo let himself cry.
He felt some warmer water on his face, and realized that Heero was
crying too. And he was mumbling. Mumbling about being sorry. Duo
hugged back. After a time, they both grew calmer, and sat back.

"I suppose we should go back." Duo pushed soaked bangs out of his
eyes.

"It's a good idea." Heero managed to get to his feet, then helped
Duo up. They walked back to the house in silence. As the glow of
the windows appeared, Duo paused. He could see Quatre looking out
the window, and the shadows of the other two behind him. It suddenly
struck him that they cared, all of them. He turned and looked at
Heero, and knew that Heero was right. //You can tell a true friend
when you've had a fight and it doesn't change a thing. Nothing
changes real friendship.//

~Owari~