Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ One step at a Time ❯ One step at a Time ( One-Shot )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Hey everyone, this is my first Gundam Wing fanfic. I hope everyone likes it, because I think its ok, well most of it.

One Step at a Time (working title)

Pairing: 1x2x4, 3x5
Ages: all 15-16, Trowa may be 17, not sure just going by the shows ages, or close to them
Warnings: OOC, slight AU, Yaoi…this is rated M, but I’m don’t going to tell you why because it will ruin the story. I hope that’s ok with all of you!
Summery: Quatre comes back from a mission late. he doesn't tell them anything as he goes to shower, and the others are worried. when Heero and Duo check on him, they find him crying, but why? (one-shot)

Heero, Duo, Trowa, and Wufei were all in the living room on their most resent living area. It was just the four of them at the moment; Heero was checking something on his computer. Duo was flipping threw channels on the eight channel TV, sitting next to Heero on the couch. Trowa was in one of the two arm chairs, reading some book. Wufei was sitting on the floor next to his boyfriend, meditating. All was quite, none of them saying a word, not even Duo. An atmosphere of worry was surrounding them all; fear could even be seen if you looked closely.
The reason behind this was a simple one, but important none the less. Quatre had gone on a mission the day before, and had never reported in. He was supposed to have been back sometime late last night; it was now going on the night of the day after.
The four of them looked up when they heard the front door open, relief washing over them. Looking over, they saw the small blond walk past the living room door. They watched as he headed upstairs, not stopping in the living room to apologize and see his lovers. Duo jumped up, going to the door.
“Quat?” he called, not getting a response. Heero got up, fallowing Duo to the door and wrapped his arms around the older of his two lovers. “Hee-chan?”
“Hn.” he answered, worried about the youngest pilot. “Let’s go check on him.” Duo nodded, pulling away to head upstairs to the bedroom. When he got to the top, he changed his mind when he heard the shower running. Walking up to the door, he raised a hand to knock, but stopped half way in shock. Threw the door, he could pick up the sound of his younger lover crying. Heero placed a hand on his shoulder, a silent gesture of reassurance. Duo reaches over and opened the door. For the first time he was reveled that the doors didn’t have any locks.
“Quat?”
Everything went silent, Quatre not making the slightest sound. Neither Duo nor Heero said a thing as they looked at the sight of their lover, and once again Duo was grateful for the lack of supplies. Without a shower certain, Quatre couldn’t hide from them, not that he tried. He was curled up under the waters spray, knees against his chest, feet the only thing on the ground, bruise and cuts covered his body. Duo moved over to him, not caring if his cloths got wet. He bent down and reaches out to touch Quatre, who flinched away. His head came up, and he looked up at Duo. His left check was bruised, lip split, a cut above his right eye.
“D-Duo?” he asked, looking scared and lost.
“Yeah, little one, it’s me.” Duo assured him, trying to keep his emotions at bay so he wouldn’t hurt Quatre anymore then he already was. “What’s wrong Quat?”
“I’m dirty.” He muttered, placing his head back onto his knees.
“Then let me help you get cleaned up, then you can lie down. You’re tired, right?” Duo asked, moving to help Quatre up, once he got a nod. He seemed to need being held up and Duo almost fell when Quatre leaned all his weight on to him. Heero steadied him, as he stepped into the shower, naked. He picked up a wash cloth and put soap on it as Duo turned Quatre around so he could first wash his front. Heero ran it across his chest; Quatre flinched away in fear, closed eyes snapping open. When he saw Heero, he seemed to relax again. Heero and Duo shared a look over the blonde’s head, both worried about the smaller boy.
They didn’t say a word or make a sound threw the whole cleaning, only once did Heero make any noise, the only noise; a growl. Quatre had jumped when he heard that, but had relaxed again when he saw it was them. Heero got out first, dried and got dressed into his pants. He took Quatre from Duo, so the braided boy could turn off the water and get out of his wet cloths. By the time he was done, Heero had Quatre dried and in his T-shirt, which reaches close to his knees, and his cuts bandaged. He didn’t protest being picked up and carried to their bedroom, he was sound asleep before he was tucked in. Duo stood there, looking over him as Heero left. “Baka (1), let him sleep. Come down stairs.”
Duo turned and followed his lover out of the room, heading downstairs. Trowa and Wufei looked up when they entered, waiting for them to tell them what happened. “He didn’t say anything. We got him cleaned up and put him to bed. Heero, would you say he got caught? Because that’s what it looked like to me.”
“He got caught.” Heero answered, not looking up from were he was typing on his laptop.
“How can you be sure?” Trowa asked.
“Bruises covering his body, marks on his wrists from restraints, signs on forced entry.” He answered, hatred clearly in his voice.
“For-forced entry?” Duo stuttered out. “ You… You mean…Mean someone r-raped Quat?”
“Yes” he growled out, looking up at Duo, a look in his eyes that the others couldn’t place. Duo walked over to him and Heero placed his computer on the table. He pulled Duo into his arms, letting him sit on his lap, head against his chest. “How could someone be so heartless? Out of all of us, Quatre? It’s not fair. He was the only innocent one of us, and to lose it that way. I know what that’s like, and to think that it happened to our little one Heero. What’s going to happen? What now? How are we going to find out who did that?”
“We will, Duo. We have to.” Heero told him, tightening his hold on Duo. He knew what Duo meant. Why he was so upset. He didn’t like that fact that someone had taken Quatre’s virginity forcefully, that someone had hurt one of his lovers in one of the worst ways possible. He would find out who did it, and he would get him. He’d make him want to die, and deny it to see him suffer, he would-
A scream sounded threw the house.
Duo and Heero were up and running up the stairs to their room, all previous thoughts forgotten. They burst into the room, moving to the bed to wake the screaming teen. Duo lay down, pulling him to his chest, holding him even as Quatre screamed louder and tried to get away. “Ikuzo! (2)”
“Shh, little one, shh. Nakanaide kudasai (3). I’ve got you. Hero and I will protect you. Shh. That’s it, shush now. You’re safe, shh.”
Quatre calmed down, lying against Duo’s chest. His hand was clenching onto his shirt for dear life, whimpering. Heero climbed in behind him, wrapping his arms around both of his lovers. They were shocked when Quatre relaxed farther into their hold, whimpers subsiding. His grip loosened, as he shifted to look up at Duo. “Promise?”
“Yeah Quat, I promise. I promise that you’ll be ok, that we’ll protect you.” Duo assured him.
“Promise? Promise to stay?” Quatre asked them. “Please still love me.”
“We do Quatre, we both love you so much.” Heero told him, bringing his hand up to brush the hair out of his eyes as Quatre rolled onto his back. He smiled, relaxing enough to fall back to sleep as both older boys cuddled him. Duo looked up at him with fearful eyes. “Duo, you should know that he’s just scared. His always afraid we’re looking for a reason to hate him, to leave him.”
“But we could never hate him, let alone leave him.” Duo told him, and Hero nodded. Duo sighed as he settled down, closing his eyes. Heero removed an arm from around Quatre, and placed it against Duo, reassuring him that it was ok.
Duo soon fell asleep, knowing that he and Quatre were safe from harm. Heero stayed up the rest of the night, worrying about what was going to happen. He was relived though that Quatre sleep peacefully the rest of the night, only moving to place his head against Hero’s chest, which had caused Duo’s head to fall and then to snuggle into the side of Quatre’s neck. Heero shifted his eyes from the window to Quatre, as he moved closer to his chest. He waited, knowing those bright blue eyes would be opening soon, and sure enough blue eyes blinked open not a minute later.
“Are you awake, little one?” He asked while using one of Duo’s many nicknames for him. Quatre moved his head as much as he could, not wanting to wake Duo up, who’s head was still laying against his neck.
“Yes” he whispered back. “You’re still here. Both of you are.”
“Of course we are. Why wouldn’t we be?” Heero asked waiting to see how he would answer.
“Be-Because I’m dirty” Quatre told him.
“How so? You just bathed.” Heero questioned him. He knew that he shouldn’t be doing this, but he had to hear it from him. He wanted him to admit that it happened, so that they could help him get past it. Not forget. Hero knew that just like Duo, Quatre would always have to live with what had happened to him.
“Inside.” Quatre muttered out. “So dirty inside, and it’s my fault. Entirely my fault.”
“How?” Heero urged him to continue. He didn’t like the way this was going, but he had to know the extent of the damage that Quatre was suffering from, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to help him get over it.
“Wrong information. I had the wrong information. Its my fault!” Quatre gave a slight sob, and Hero glanced at Duo. He figured that by now he must be awake, just listening to what was being said.
“How so?”
“The switch for the guards was ten minutes earlier. They-they caught me” Quatre trailed off, not making a sound.
“What did they do little one?” Heero urged, waiting for an answer. They sat in silence, and one minute pasted. Then two. Then five and neither spoke.
“They-” Quatre whispered. “They tied me up. I was hanging in the center of the r-room. I couldn’t move; my f-feet didn’t t-touch the gr-ground. And then, o-one by one, th-they…” Quatre broke off into sobs.
“Shh, little one. Calm down and tell me. I won’t hate you, neither will Duo.” Heero assured him. Quatre gave another soft sob, not moving. “Calm down Quatre. I promise.”
“First they h-hit me. B-beat me. Then-then they…” He stopped again. Duo shifted, pushing Quatre tighter between them. He didn’t move any other then that, going back to faking sleep. “They r-raped me.”
“They?” Heero asked. He wasn’t letting it into his voice, but he was furious. He knew that someone had rapped him, but if what the blonde was hinting at was what he thought, then it was worse then he thought.
“Hai (4). The g-guards that had j-just gotten o-off.” He stuttered out.
“How many? How many touched you?” Duo asked, shifting so that he was looking down at Quatre. “How many hurt you!” Quatre flinched away. Heero not even being empathic could feel the hatred coming off Duo in waves.
“Duo, calm down.” Heero told him. Duo looked at him, then at Quatre. Realizing what was wrong, what he was doing, he took Quatre into his arms. Lying down with him pulled against his chest, back to Heero, who wrapped his arms around his waist.
“I’m not mad at you Quat.” Duo told him. “I’m scared. Scared that you’ve been hurt in away that no one can relate to. I’m scared that we’ll lose you, that you’ll leave us. I’m scared that we’ll never find the men that did this. That we’ll never get revenge for this. And that makes me mad, frustrated.”
“Eleven.” Quatre whispered, moving closer to Duo. Heero moved closer to him, tightening his arms around Quatre’s waist, holding his close. Duo held him closer as well, his arms next to Heero’s, but higher on his back.
“Eleven? What do you mean?” Duo asked him, confused as to what he was talking about.
“That’s h-how many men t-t-touched me, h-hurt me-e. There were e-eleven of t-them.” Quatre clarified for him.
“Eleven!” Duo asked “and they all rapped you?”
“Hai” Quatre sobbed. “Gomen nasai (5)! I’m sorry that I was b-bad! I’ll be g-good from now on! I p-promise! I p-promise that I’ll b-be a-a good boy! Just don’t l-leave me! Don’t h-hate me for th-this! P-please love me! Please! Please! P-please! Don’t h-hate m-me for this! Don’t! Don’t! D-don’t! P-p-please…” He sobbed out, clinging to Duo as if he was going to be thrown away.
“Oh Quat” Duo whispered, burying his face into Quatre’s hair. “Poor, poor Quat. It’ll be ok, we’ll make it better. Me and Hee-chan will never leave you, never. We’ll stay here with you, we’ll stay and love you.”
“W-Why?”
“We love you Quatre. And nothing will change that.” Heero told him. “I promise, Koi (6).”

Heero glanced up from his laptop over to where Duo and Quatre was sitting on the couch. Duo was watching TV, his left arm was wrapped around Quatre’s waist, and his right hand was running threw Quatre’s hair. Quatre was sitting on his lap, so that that Duo’s left arm was going around his stomach to his hip, his hands holding onto Duo’s arm. From were Heero sat he couldn’t see Quatre’s face, but he knew that he was still awake.
The two of them had found out some time ago that Quatre would freak if one of them wasn’t touching him at all times. They had gotten up when he was asleep, and came back to find him curled up in the middle of the bed crying. Heero had picked him up and held him in a similar position that Duo was sitting with him in now. They had calmed him down, and not left him alone since. At first it had to be both of them within arms reach, then after some time it was to the point that as long as one of them as holding him, the other could move around the room, and even leave for a short amount of time.
This was the reason that Heero was timing Quatre, and yes he was actually timing him to see how long it would be till he turned to see where he was. But that may be sometime, for as long as Heero was typing Quatre didn’t seem to have to look to see if he was still there.
Heero turned back to the screen, and went back to his work. Well it wasn’t really work, he was trying to hack the system to see if he could find the mission report that was sent to Quatre. He couldn’t find it anywhere, almost like it wasn’t supposed to be found, to not be known that it happened. Glancing from the window to the clock, he marked it mentally as 25 minutes since Quatre moved. That was longer then ever before, and even if Heero didn’t say it, he was proud that Quatre was doing as he asked and sitting still till he was done.
Heero sighed and continued working. There wasn’t anything on it at all. Not even in the original files and the main frame. He sighed again, rubbing his eyes. He knew that from the fact that if it wasn’t there, then that meant that the organization had tried to get rid of Quatre. A small whimper caused him to look up again, catching the time out of the corner of his eyes. It was almost an hour and fifteen minutes since he had started working. Duo was trying to keep Quatre calm and quite as to not disturb Heero and he was not getting very far. Heero closed his laptop quietly, knowing that it wouldn’t turn off.
He got up and walked across the living room to where his lovers were sitting. Without a word, he picked Quatre up, Duo giving him a sad smile as Heero sat down next to him on the couch. “I’m proud of you little one, sitting alone like that with Duo for so long.”
Quatre shifted, looking up at him through his eyelashes. Heero gave him a slight smile, and Quatre returned it ten fold. “I did well?”
“Of course you did Quat” Duo told him, moving over to lay his head against Heero’s shoulder, his hand coming up to hold Quatre’s. Quatre held onto it tightly, relaxing against Heero’s chest, asleep in seconds. “Did you find anything?”
“Iie (7).” Heero answered, kissing Duo’s forehead. “But that gives us all we need to know, they tried to get rid of him.”
Duo sighed, shaking his head as much as he could. Duo wrapped his free arm around Heero’s waist. The two sat in silence, not watching the TV, just trying to enjoy a moment of peace. They both knew that Quatre would be plagued by nightmare’s soon enough, and they’d have to sit up with him till he fell back to sleep for the rest of the night.
Heero shifted and stood up, keeping Quatre secure against his chest. Duo fallowed him, and led the way up to their room. Trowa glanced at Quatre with sad eyes as they passed him coming down the hall since he was going towards the kitchen to get something to eat. Duo gave him an encouraging smile, and then opened their bedroom door. Heero laid Quatre down on the bed, and then crawled into bed next to him, pulling him onto his chest. Duo lay down behind Quatre and wrapped his arms around him, one hand lying against Hero’s stomach. They fell asleep like, just like they had almost every night in the last two months since Quatre was rapped.
Heero stretched and got out of bed with a little difficulty. Quatre rolled over and snuggled up against Duo’s chest, and Duo held him closer. He walked across the room, and pulled the curtains shut, to let the younger boys sleep longer. Duo shifted slightly, and purple eyes opened to look over at Heero.
“Hee-chan, what are you doing up so early?” Duo asks, Heero gave him a slight smile. “What?”
“Guess who slept threw the whole night?” Heero asked him. Duo blinked a few times, then glance at the clock.
“You mean he slept all night?” Duo asked Heero, receiving a nod in response. Duo smiled, carefully slipping out of bed. Heero gave him a slight look, and Duo rolled his eyes. “I’ll get back into bed with him when he starts to wake up. I kinda just want to spend some time with you. I mean we haven’t spent time alone since this all began. I kind of miss it, just you and me.”
“I know” Heero told him, taking Duo into his arms. They stood like that for a couple of minutes. Duo shifted after a minute to look up at him.
“Hee-chan, am I wrong to think that. I mean I love Quat so much, but I just want to have some time away form him.” Duo told him. Heero nodded his head, understanding what he meant. Duo was active, and wanted to get way from Quatre, even if it was just for a couple of hours.
“If you want to Duo, it’s alright.” Heero told him, and Duo gave him a small smile. He pulled away and got dressed for the day. After, he moved back over to the bed and lay down next to Quatre, playing with his hair.
“Hee-chan, how do you say ‘angel’ again?” Duo asked, watching as the slight light that was slipping in threw a crack in the blinds played with Quatre’s appearance.
“Tenshi (8).” Heero answered, telling Duo the word for the 20 some odd time. Duo nodded his head, still playing with Quatre’s hair. “Why?”
“If I could ever remember that word I’d call him that too.” Duo told him. “He looks like an angel doesn’t he, Hee-chan?”
“Yeah.” Hero agreed as he came to sit on the edge of the bed. Duo smiled up at him, never stopping his hand. Quatre shifted slightly, eyes shutting tight against the light as it came across his face. Slowly blue eyes opened, first greeting purple, then combat blue. He gave them a small smile, slowly sitting up.
“Ohayou (9).” Heero told him, and Quatre gave him a smile and the same greeting.
“Little one?” Duo called, and Quatre looked up at him. “Are you going to be ok today? I’m going out for a little while, but I’ll be back later.”
“You’re going to leave me?” Quatre asked, blue eyes staring up at him in complete fear.
“No, I’m just going out, ok? I’ll be back soon.” Duo told him, as he slipped out of bed. He kissed Quatre on the forehead - not a real kiss since he didn’t want to scare him– and kissed Heero, then he left the room. He closed the door behind him, making sure not to look back at Quatre for he knew he wouldn't be able to leave him. He leaned against the door for a moment, and then headed downstairs to the kitchen. He grabbed a quick bit to eat, and then headed outside into the yard. He wasn’t going to go anywhere, just a short walk and then come back here and give Heero a chance to be alone.
Back in the room, Quatre sat there staring at the door, slight tears forming in his eyes. Heero reaches over and placed a hand on Quatre’s shoulder. He turned towered him with a slight flinch and fearful eyes. “Hee-chan?” he whispered, crawling into his lap. Heero wrapped his arms around Quatre, holding him close. “What did I do?”
“Nothing Tenshi, nothing at all. Duo was just felling cramped.” Heero told him. Quatre gave a slight sob, holding onto Heero with all his strength.
“It’s because of me then? Because I don’t want him to leave me, I don’t want either of you to ever leave me. I love you two so much, and I don’t want you to leave me and never come back. How can I tell if you’re going to leave me if I can’t see you?”
“Quatre, you have to believe that we won’t lie to you, that we won’t leave you. You have to trust us.” Heero told him.
“I do trust you, its just…” Quatre broke off. “What did Duo tell you?”
“That he wanted to spend some time alone.”
“By himself or with you, just the two of you?” Quatre asked him, looking up at him.
“Both.” Heero told him.
“And you, what do you want?” Quatre asked him, “Do you agree with him?”
“Quatre, I do agree with Duo. I would like to have some time alone, by myself and with Duo. But Quatre, I also know that I can’t do that. Both of us understand that you need us with you, and that’s ok. We’ll get threw it together.” Heero told him, holding Quatre closer.
“Gomen nasai” Quatre told him.
“You don’t have to apologize for this.” Heero told him, kissing the top of his head. “You’ve been threw a lot, and its normal to be afraid.”
“I’ll try.” Quatre whispered, slowly pulling away. “I’ll try to let you have time alone. I can’t say that I will be able to, but I will try for you and for Duo.”
“Are you sure?” Heero asked, receiving a nod. “Then we’ll talk to Duo and see when we should, ok?”
“No, I want to try now. You can go spend some time with Duo, and I’ll go sit in the living.” Quatre told him, as he stood up, and moved towards the door, not bothering to change from his boxers and one of Heero’s shirt. Heero got out of bed, and dressed, then joined Quatre at the door.
The two went down stairs, and Heero kissed Quatre on the forehead, before heading outside to find Duo. Quatre stood in the hall, looking around him in fear, his breath starting to speed up. He shakily made his way into the living room, sitting himself down in one of the arm chairs, curling up on himself. Trowa watched him from the other armchair, worry showing in his eyes. He placed his book on the arm and got up, picking up a blanket that was on the couch from last night. He walked over and wrapped it around Quatre’s shoulders, making the small blonde whimper and curl up farthing.
“Quatre?” Trowa called, and Quatre slowly looked up at him. “Are you alright?”
“Hai.” He whispered, glancing around the room.
“Is there something wrong?” he asked, and Quatre looked back up at him.
“N-no… yes… maybe… just a little” Quatre told him. Trowa nodded, slowly sitting down on the edge of the chair, seeing as how Quatre was curled up in one corner of it.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Trowa asked, receiving a shack of the head. “It sometimes easier to talk to a good friend then a loved one.”
“You’re my best friend, not a good friend.” Quatre whispered and Trowa nodded in understanding. “Do you promise not to laugh?”
“I swear.”
“I’m afraid that one of them will come back and do it again. I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want them to hurt me again. And when I’m with Duo or Heero, I don’t have to think about it, I don’t have to see them, I don’t have to see what they did, I don’t have to remember it. I don’t have to relive it every second. I just want to stop seeing the images, the memories. I see them every night, I don’t want to have to see them during the day too.” Quatre told him.
“Have you told Duo or Heero?” Trowa asked, and he received a shake of the head. “You should tell them.”
“I-I cant, not now.” Quatre told him, eyes brimmed with tears.
“Why not?”
“Be-because it’ll push them farther away. I made Duo go away, and Heero wants to leave too. I made them feel bad, and I have to stop it. They will stop loving me if I don‘t stop. They already don’t want to be around me, they want to be with each other more. If I tell them, they will get mad or frustrated or… or they will hate me. I don’t want that, I don’t want to lose them, I love them so much, and they’re the only ones who still want me.”
“What do you mean?” Trowa asked, keeping Quatre talking so he wouldn’t withdraw back into himself.
“No one should want me. I’m not pure anymore. I don’t even understand why they want me anymore. They wanted to take my virginity themselves, to make love to me. But I can’t even offer them that, so why would they want me, someone who is used. Why do they? And if they don’t want me, if they’re getting tired of me, who will want me?” Quatre asked Trowa, looking straight at him. Trowa looked right back into his eyes, eyes that seemed to be haunted by what was behind them.
“You don’t have to worry about that. They will always love you, no matter what. And they still want to make love to you Quatre, they just don’t know how or what to do. They don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then why did they leave me alone?” Quatre asked him.
“They need to have time alone sometimes; they don’t know why you don’t want them to leave. Just talk to them, or I could for you if you want.” Trowa told him. Quatre looked up at him, eyes begging for help.
“Please?” Quatre whispered, and Trowa nodded. He got up and started to leave the room. “IIE! Don’t leave me alone!” Trowa turned back around to see Quatre, and sighed. He had taken one step back towards Quatre, when Wufei came in, hearing Quatre scream.
“What happened?” Wufei asked, noticing that Quatre was alone in the room with Trowa, no sign of his lovers.
“Nothing, stay with him, I’ll be right back.” Trowa told him, and then headed out of the room and out of the house. Wufei watched him leave, then looked back over at Quatre. He came fully into the room, and made his way to the blonde.
Trowa found Heero and Duo under a tree not to far from the house. They were sitting, with Heero’s back against the tree and Duo in his arms. When he approached them, they both looked up, and Duo looked worried and afraid. “Is Quatre alright?”
“Yes.” Trowa answered, sitting down in front of them.
“What happened?” Heero asked. Trowa looked at them for a moment, seeming to debate what to do.
“I talked to Quatre.” Trowa told them, and both nodded. “He’s afraid.”
“We know.” Duo told him. “He’s afraid that we’ll leave him and not come back.”
“That’s not all.” Trowa told them.
“What else?” Heero asked. They both knew that there was another reason behind Quatre’s reaction to everything, they just couldn’t figure out what it was, and didn’t want to ask, hoping Quatre would come to them.
“He’s afraid that if you can’t love him, no one will. That your going to leave him because of what happened.” Trowa explained to them.
“But that’s silly, if they can love me after the same thing happened, then why can’t we love him?” Duo asked, and Trowa let out a small sigh.
“Does he know?”
“Know what?”
“That the same thing happened to you?” Trowa asked them. Duo and Heero exchanged a look.
“I never told him, I didn’t want to scare him.” Duo said. “Hee-chan?”
“It wasn’t my place to tell.” Heero told him, and Duo sighed. He stood up and brushed his pants off.
“We should go talk to him.” Duo said, and Heero nodded, starting to stand up.
“That’s not all.” Trowa told them. They both turned to look at the banged pilot, and seeing the look he was giving them, they sat back down.
“What else?” Duo questioned.
“Memories.” Trowa told them, not giving them anything else.
“What do you mean?”
“His memories. That’s why he’s so scared. He cant hid from them at night; but during the day, the two of you drive them off. He’s scared that one of the guards will come and hurt him again.” Trowa explained to them. They exchanged a look, then looked back at Trowa.
“Is that all?”
“Yes, just try to explain everything to him, and why you need some time alone. He doesn’t understand that either.” Trowa told them. The two nodded and headed back to the house. Trowa sat there, knowing that Wufei would come join him soon enough.
Heero and Duo made their way into the living room. Wufei looked up from the couch when they entered, his hand still on Quatre’s head, which was resting on his lap. “Nightmare.”
Heero nodded, coming over to the couch. He bent down, pushing Quatre’s hair from his face, kissing his forehead. “Little one, its time to wake up now.” Heero told him. Quatre shifted, eyes snapping open, fear in them.
“Hee-chan?” Quatre muttered. “I thought you were going to spend sometime with Duo.”
“I did, but we want to talk to you. Trowa came and told us what you said.” Heero told him. “We would never leave you, don’t you ever believe otherwise.”
“Yeah Quat. We never could, we love ya too much not to stay.” Duo told him, and Quatre looked over at him.
“Duo?” Quatre asked, receiving a nod to continue. “You still love me?”
“Of course I do, I never stopped.” Duo told him, coming to sit next to Heero on the floor.
“But you left me, you promise not to leave me.” Quatre told him.
“Sorry baby, I didn’t mean to scare you and most of all, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Duo told him with a smile. Quatre smiled back, slipping off the couch onto Duo’s lap. Duo wrapped his arms around Quatre, kissing the top of his head. Heero watched them, only glancing over when Wufei got up and left the room.
Heero looked back over to his lovers, a smile on his face. Quatre was wrapping his arms tightly around Duo, head resting against his chest as he looked back at Heero. Duo was holding Quatre tight, head resting on top of Quatre’s as he looked at Heero as well. Heero moved over to them, and kissed Quatre’s forehead. He then pulled Duo’s head up and gave him a deep kiss, and both smiled when they heard Quatre’s soft giggle.
Duo pulled back and looked down at Quatre, who looked back up. “Quat, I need to tell you something.”
“What?” Quatre asked as he looked up at him.
“Quatre there’s a reason that we…I… know that I would never leave you for this.” Duo told him, and Quatre stared up at him in shock. “Quatre I could never leave you for this because when I was younger, about 10, I was rapped as well.”
“You were r-raped?” Quatre asked him, and Duo nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was scared that if I told you, that you would become scared of what happed to me, that you’d become scared to touch me for fear of hurting or scaring me.” Duo told him. “I know what your going threw, that’s why we’re so proud of you all the time, because you’re so willing to let us hold you.”
“I know that you’d never hurt me, never.” Quatre whispered. “I just wish that I could do more, that I could be with you. That you could make love to me.”
“We will one day, when you can handle without fear of everything.” Heero told him. “When you can touch us without so much fear.”
“I don’t understand.” Quatre muttered, and Heero nodded.
“I know, but you will one day.” Heero explained to him and Quatre slowly nodded.
“Quatre, you also should have told us why you were so scared.” Duo scolded him.
“I didn’t want you to think that I needed you, I didn’t want you to become mad or frustrated with me. I hate it when you or Heero are mad or anything else like that with me.”
“I understand” Heero told him, nodding his head. Duo smiled down at Quatre, and Quatre smiled back at him. “I love you.” Heero told Quatre.
“I love you too.” Duo whispered, kissing the top of Quatre’s head. “and you can come to either of us when you need anything, if you ever have to talk, ok?”
“I understand, I promise.” Quatre told him, nodding his head as he did so.
“Is there anything that you want to say?” Duo asked. “Any other things that you need to tell me or Hee-chan?”
“Yes.” Quatre told him, shifting so that he was sitting on Duo’s lap with his legs bent at the knee on either side of Duo, facing him. Duo blinked, then kissing Quatre’s forehead once again, smiling reassuringly.
“What is it?” Duo asked, tightening his hold on Quatre as he moved foreword. Quatre leaned up so that he could speck into Duo’s ear.
“I love you” he muttered, moving back and wrapping his arms around Duo’s neck. He moved in, and took a deep breath, then kissed Duo. Duo smiled slightly, before moving one of his arms up and putting a hand on Quatre’s check, kissing him back. Quatre let out a slight moan as Duo pulled back, giving him a slight smile. Quatre smiled back before turning to Heero, and moving to sit with him. Heero took him into his arms, but didn’t move to kiss him, letting Quatre control over what was going to happen. He repeated the same thing with Heero. When Heero pulled back, he even got the same small moan.
“What was that for?” Duo asked as he moved over to sit with them.
“I wanted to.” Quatre told him, laying his head against Heero’s shoulder.
“Really?” Duo asked.
“Yeah. I want you to kiss me, hold me. I want to be with you. I want you to be with me, to have you…” Quatre stopped. “Why should what they do change what we do, how you treat me.”
“I don’t fallow.” Duo told him, as he glance up at Heero to get the same look.
“You promised to make love to me, so why wont you?” Quatre asked. “You stopped kissing me, stopped treating me the same way, so does that mean you don’t want to anymore?”
“No Quatre, we still do.” Heero told him. “We just didn’t want to do anything that would really scare you.”
“But I’m not scared of you, I’m scared of them. Because of what they did isn’t a reason to be like this and I don’t like that you think you can’t do anything to me because of that.” Quatre told them, burying his face further into Heero’s neck.
“Are you trying telling us that you want us to have sex?” Duo asked.
“No, I’m saying that I want you to make love to me.” Quatre told him; to him there was a difference.
“Quatre, you’re not ready for that, not this soon.” Heero told him. Kissing the top of his head, holding him closer.
“But I believe that I am, and if I’m not, then let me find out threw it, not by what you say or think.” Quatre told them, looking up at him. Heero sighed, nodding his head in understanding as to what he meant. Duo had wanted to after they were together for a long time, but the first time he had not gotten very far before he flipped. They did have sex now, but Heero knew that he had to be careful and that he couldn’t tie him down, no matter what.
“We’ll try Quatre.” Duo told him, on the same thought pattern as Heero. Sometimes people have to find out for themselves, and not through what others said from their own experience.
“Really?” Quatre asked, looking up at him with big eyes, hope coming off of him in waves. Duo nodded as he stood up, offering Quatre a hand. He excepted it and was pulled to his feet and into Duo’s chest. Heero joined them standing, looking straight into Duo’s eyes. Without a word, he picked Quatre up into his arms, bridal style, and kissed him soundly. Once they broke apart, Heero fallowed Duo upstairs into their room. Duo stripped the bed, putting the blankets at the foot of the bed, and moved back so Heero could lay Quatre on the sheets.
Quatre looked up at both of the older boys, waiting to see what they would do, his heart pounding in his chest. Duo gave him a reassuring smile before passionately kissing his, tongue and all. Quatre moaned, reaching up for the braided boy, pulling him closer. Heero watched them for a moment, before undressing to his boxers and climbing onto the bed with them. He placed his hand on Duo’s back to tell him he was there, then placed his hand against Quatre’s arm as he leaned over him. Quatre flinched slightly, and then calmed down once again. "Duo, sit up." Heero muttered into his ear, nipping at it slightly before sitting back. Duo slowly broke the kiss, sitting back as well, turning to smile at Heero, then kissed him.
"Duo?" Quatre questioned, opening his eyes to look up at the two. He watched the two of them kiss for a while, not sure what he was supposed to do. He had never done this before, and decided to sit back and watch his lovers in hopes of finding out what he was expected to do. Heero pulled away, receiving a whine from Duo.
"Someone is more important." Heero told him, looking down at Quatre with a seductive look, which got him a bright blush. He leaned down, kissing him while Duo stripped down to his boxers. He climbed back onto the bed, slipping a hand into Quatre's shirt as Heero moved down to his neck. Quatre let out a small grown as Duo played with his nipple and Heero lightly bit his neck. Duo chuckled at the little blonde, pulling his shirt up and Heero took over and pulled it the rest of the way off his body. Duo laid down next to Quatre as Heero moved down his body. He watched as Quatre moaned, cheeks red, mouth open. Duo kissed his cheek, giving Quatre a smile, but didn’t see the returning one as he threw his head back with a loud grown as Heero slipped his hand into his boxers. Quatre wasn't doing much better as Heero took his right nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting it.
"Hee-chan!" Duo whined as Heero removed his hand and Duo turned his head to look at him. Heero sat up and looked at Duo, motioning for him to remove his and Quatre's boxers, then got off the bed. Duo removed his, throwing them across the room, then sat up and removed Quatre's, throwing them to join his. He nudged Quatre's knees apart and sat between them, looked Quatre up and down from that position. Quatre looked up at him, blushing, his hands coming down to cover himself up. Duo caught them, kissing both and sitting them down on the bed. He leaned up and kissed Quatre, running a hand threw his hair. He kissed his way around his jaw to his ear, biting it. "Don’t be embarrassed Quat. You're so beautiful."
He pulled back as Quatre turned bright red. He turned as Heero climbed back onto the bed, having retrieved the lube and ridding himself of his boxers. He took some lube into his head to warm it, then offered it to Duo. He lubed one of his fingers, then leaned up and kissed Quatre again. He tapped the bottom of one of his knees, and Quatre obediently bent both for him and raised his hips for Heero to place a pillow under them. He blushed bright red as Duo touched his penis, as he gave him a smile. "How are you Tenshi?" Heero asked, falling back onto the nickname that Duo never seemed to remember.
"I'm ok." Quatre muttered, trying to will his blush away.
"Try to relax and remember that its just us." Duo told him as he gently traced his entrance. Quatre stiffened and gave a little whine, pulling back from the finger. Duo sighed, removing his finger, looking at Heero then back. "It's ok Quat, you did good."
"G-good?" Quatre asked, looking up at him, confused.
"Yeah, you did well little one." Heero told him. "But we already knew that we wouldn’t get any farther then this.
"Hee-chan? Duo?" Quatre asked, looking up at them lightly biting his bottom lip. "Can... can we try one more time?"
"Are you sure?" Duo asked, looking down at Quatre, worry written in his eyes. Quatre slowly nodded, taking a deep breath. Duo looked at Heero, who nodded, and brought his figure back to Quatre's entrance. He slowly entered it when Quatre didn’t flinch away. Duo moved his figure, trying to get Quatre used to it. He stopped when Quatre whined, Duo looked up at him. He had his eyes shut tight, knuckle white as they gripped the sheet. Duo slowly pulled his figure out, but Heero stopped him, pushing it back in.
"Give him a moment." Heero told him, and Duo nodded. Heero kissed him, distracting him enough to slip a lubed finger in. Duo pulled back with a grown, his head coming to rest against Heero's chest. Heero added his second lubed finger a minute later, continuing to tease the no longer braided boy, having pulled the hair tie out a long time ago. Duo groaned again, moving back on the finger, moaning and groaning. Duo forced his eyes open, stopping his movements when he felt Quatre move. He watched as Quatre shifted slightly, having relaxed now.
"Little one?"
"I'm ok now." Quatre told him. "You can continue." Duo nodded, pulling his finger out to lube three from the warm lube in Heero's other hand. He brought them down, slipping one back in. After moving it around a couple of times, he entered the second. He let Quatre get used to it, watching as blue eyes closed again. They stayed closed for a good two minutes before opening again. Duo took that as a clue to continue, and slowly stretched him, making sure to be thorough before fallowing Heero's example and adding a third finger. While Quatre's eyes were closed again, Heero brought the hand full of lube down and put it on Duo's penis. Duo groaned at the felling, his hand twitching slightly, fingers brushing against Quatre's prostate, pulling a slight scream from the blonde. Quatre's eyes were wide as he stared up at the two of them in shock, breathing hard.
"I think he's ready." Heero told Duo, kissing his neck and shoulders, and Duo nodded. Slowly, Duo pulled his fingers out and moved forward, locking eyes with Quatre, he slowly entered the blonde, receiving a slight whine. He lowered his head down against Quatre's neck, breathing hard from the strain to not move. Heero kissed the back of his neck as he entered with one swift thrust. The three didn’t move for some time, Heero and Duo waiting on Quatre to say they could, and Quatre fighting the memories that he was seeing. Slowly one by one, the images faded as Quatre excepted what they meant.
"I’m ok now." He whispered, reaching up to hug Duo. "You can move now."
Heero nodded, pulling out, taking Duo with him. Slowly he thrust back in, moving Duo back into Quatre. Both younger boys let out slight moans, already used to having something in them, and Heero smiled. Duo kissed Quatre's neck, lightly biting it, before sitting up, placing his hands on Quatre's hips and leaning against Heero's chest, letting Heero do all the work. Heero wrapped one arm around Duo's waist, the other intertwined with one of his on Quatre's hip.
Heero kept the pace slow and steady, not wanting to take it to fast. He made love to them, not wanting it to end as they took Quatre for the first time. Somewhere in the back of his mind he also knew that he didn’t want to take it to fast as to not bring any more memories back to Quatre.
Heero speed up slightly, letting Duo shift so he was hitting Quatre's prostate, getting a small pleasure filled scream. Once they fell back into sync, he shifted to catch Duo's prostate, kissing his neck as he did so. Duo let out a sound between a grown and a growl, pushing back to get more contact. Heero stopped him before he could shove forward, and slowly moved his back in, bringing him back to the pace that he had set. Quatre missed this as he marveled in the feeling, head thrown back, continuing to chant in Arabic.
"Hee-chan" Duo muttered, warning him that he was close. Heero moved his hand from Quatre's hip and started to stroke him. Quatre gave a pleasure filled whine, clinching at the sheets again. Heero speed their pace up again, and Quatre screamed his release. Duo, and then Heero took the fall, coming back to the land of mortals.
They stayed like that, catching their breaths. After a few minute Heero finally shifted, letting Duo pull out and fall to Quatre's right, pulling Quatre's back to his chest as the blonde tried desperately to catch his breath. Heero pulled the blankets up, laying down in front of Quatre, covering them up and wrapping his arms around his lovers; his right arm under Quatre, around his waist, left stretching over Quatre to hold Duo. Quatre snuggled closer, falling into a content sleep. Duo smiled, love clearly in his eyes as he looked up at Heero. Heero gave a slight smile back and both fell asleep, happy that they were all three together.

(1)baka – stupid
(2)ikuzo – let go
(3)Nakanaide kudasai - please don’t cry
(4)Hai – yes
(5)gomen nasai – I’m sorry
(6)Koi – lover
(7) Iie – no
(8)Tenshi – angel
(9)Ohayou - morning


Well that was 17 whole pages, long for me.
That’s all so how was it, my first time at a story like this. I hope you all like it, and I could use some feedback. I'm not sure if the lemon was the best, what did you think?