Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Partings and Reunion Trilogy ❯ Eden ( Chapter 2 )

Title: Partings and Reunion part 2: Eden

Author: Sorceress Fantasia

Song by: Sarah Brightman

Pairing: 1+2

Warnings: Light angst, early works (So it's pretty crappy), OOC Heero

Archive: http://www.gwaddiction.com/levlair/index3.htm

Disclaimers: Lost the GW guys to someone else in an auction on ebay, so I don't own any of them.

Did you ever think of me,

As your best friend.

Did I ever think of you,

I'm not complaining.

Heero stood at the threshold of his room. Taking one last glance, he shut the door lightly and turned away. He was leaving; his room, his home, and most of all, the love of his life. This was a difficult choice to make, but he had finally decided. To leave and never return. For returning would only promise him endless pain and suffering. Nothing more. He fought the titanic urge to turn back, to look at the place he had called home for the last few weeks. Finally, he gave in, and allowed himself to glance at the room. As he did so, warm sensations run down his body. Normally, places like this was of no import, as he had too many, but this…was an exception. Because… because this was where he had taken care of his love when he had been injured, some time ago. He remembered. His long, soft chestnut locks that hung down so smoothly as though they were the prized assets of silkworms; his big violet irises that glittered with hints of mischief; his full cherry pink lips that never stopped talking…Everything about Heero's love was enchanting, captivating. That was why he had caught his eyes, his attention. And from there, he grasped Heero's soul and all his love. But now, he knew he had to leave. He didn't want to go, but…

Then why are you leaving?

`Because I must.'

You don't have to.

`Yes, I do.'

Why?

`Because I'm scared. Scared of him…'

For what?

`Scared of him killing my soul. Scared of losing myself to him…'

I never tried to feel.

I never tried to feel.

This vibration.

I never tried to reach.

I never tried to reach.

Your Eden.

(Your Eden. Your Eden.)

He doesn't feel anything towards me. Nothing at all. So why should I stay here and torment myself? Why? What's more, I don't deserve him at all. He is full of exuberance, joy, laughter and a zest for life. Just like a cocktail glass, many good qualities and attributes had been poured in, which merged and combined to form him… Someone to be loved by everyone…but me. Heero stifled a sigh. He didn't deserve him at all. Not at all.

Heero had never tried or dared to reach Duo's heart. He couldn't imagine what would happen if the other pilot refused to accept his feelings, and to love him in return. As though not able to become lovers with Duo wasn't bad enough, Heero was afraid that Duo would shun him and he would lose a great friend as well.

My bloodstained hands will never be clean again. I don't wish to dirty Duo's body and soul. He is of the highest level of cleanliness and purity, and I am in no position to stain him. I can't touch him in the past, nor the present, or the future.

Did I ever think of you,

As my enemy.

Did you ever think of me,

I'm complaining.

Once, I thought of you as a threat, for you were so good with your Gundam. Back then, everything seemed so simple. Friends, just friends, that's what we were. But now that I realized my feelings for you…everything's changed. It's just not the same anymore.

What am I supposed to do? How can I have a weakness waiting to be exploited by the enemies? I… I can't. I'm so lost… I don't know what to do. I want to go up to you, hug you, kiss you, and even more than that. But, what if you don't the same way as I do? What if you get disgusted? Would you still want me as a friend? No, I doubt so… That's why I have to go.

I never tried to feel.

I never tried to feel.

This vibration.

I never tried to reach.

I never tried to reach.

Your Eden.

(Your Eden. Your Eden.)

Heero snapped his head away. He picked up his bag and headed for the door. With a twist of the knob, the door opened, and the Japanese pilot stepped out. Away from everything, to a place where he'll be able to forget Duo… someone whom he did not deserve…

I never tried to feel.

I never tried to ...

(Your Eden.)

Because I can't.

Sorceress Fantasia @ 9th March 2000