Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Past Expectations ❯ part 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Past Expectations part 1

By Sultrysiren

Zechs was wandering aimlessly, lost in thought. There was no more war; in fact, the people were pushing for peace. There was nothing left for him then, anymore. A lost soldier was what he had become.

Despair crept up on Zechs, and he sighed. "Dammit," he grunted. It had been bad enough during the war, when he merely thought he had lost his way. Now he definitely had, and he found it much, much worse. At least during the wars he had White Fang to run to, though that had caused him a great deal more pain than he was willing to admit to. Now, he had nothing, nobody. Noin would be sympathetic, but she couldn't understand, as she had loathed war. That thought brought a tiny smile to his face, her almost hypocrisy. It wasn't hypocritical, though, as he knew she had joined to protect him. She was always looking out for him.

"Maybe a drink will help," he mused out, looking at his surroundings. He had just gotten his bearings and was setting off towards the nearest bar when he bumped into somebody.

"Excuse me." He looked at whom he had bumped into, and was surprised. It was Heero. "I'm sorry, Heero."

"It's fine, Zechs."

Zechs nodded, covertly checked out Heero as he did. The past two years had been good to him. He was taller now, taller than Zechs, and had filled out considerably. No longer was he the skinny looking street urchin. He looked, in a word, great.

Zechs shook himself mentally when he heard Hero snort. Heero had caught him looking him over, and seemed to be amused by that. "I'm just going to the bar around the corner; would you like to join me for a drink?"

Heero shrugged. "Fine." He fell into step by Zechs as Zechs led the way. The bar he had been talking about was a dive, to put it nicely, but Heero had more than proved in the past that he could take care of himself, and Zechs was no weakling either.

The bar was a bit crowded, but Zechs was able to find them a table in the corner of the room, where there were less people.

"What do you want? I'll go get it," Heero offered, putting his jacket on the back of the chair.

"You sure?"

Heero nodded. "Yeah, it's no problem." He smirked at Zechs. "So what do you want?"

"Whiskey."

"Okay." Heero then turned around, maneuvering through the crowd with ease. Luckily, the people there tried to stay out of his way, though a few called out his name, asking him to join them. Heero just shook his head no each time.

He finally made it to the bar, where even the bartender seemed to know him. He shook his head at something the bartender said, then pointed to Zechs. The bartender nodded and handed Heero the drinks.

"Come here often?" Zechs quipped as Heero passed him his whiskey and sat down.

Heero nodded. "Duo and I used to come here all the time, and some of the men I work with come here every day." He sighed and took a sip from his beer.

"So you and the pilots stayed close after the wars?"

Heero grimaced. "You could say that. Duo and I, well, we were together after the Eve Wars, but we are too different for it to work." He shrugged. "Him and Hilde got together, though, from what I've heard from Quatre. They seem to be happy." He rolled his glass between his palms. "So what happened with you? I thought you went off with Noin to Mars?"

Zechs sighed. "It was to get me away from it all. Une felt a long vacation was in order. Noin agreed and came with me, however, I was not comfortable, and so I came back." Zechs took a big gulp of his whiskey. "I am a soldier, my pacifist ways died a long time ago. I have no place in a peaceful world."

Heero grunted. He took another swig of beer. "Well, the other pilots seem to be coping well. Wufei's a Preventer and so is Trowa; Quatre took over the family business, and Duo went into salvage with Hilde." He said with almost a disgusted tone.

"So what are you doing to keep yourself occupied?"

Heero grunted again. "I work in construction now. Une's still trying to recruit me, but you know what?" Heero gulped down half his beer. "I don't want to do it. My past is behind me. Painful as it was, and as hard as it is to let it all go, I had to move on." Heero finished his beer. "You know what I mean?"

Better than you think, Zechs thought as he finished his whiskey. "I'm still looking for a place in this world." He stood, empty glass in hand. "I'm getting another. You want one too?"

"Yeah." Heero handed him his empty glass. "That'd be nice."

Zechs nodded and wandered off to get more. As the bartender got the drinks for him, he thought about everything Heero had said; he had really opened up to him, as much as Heero probably ever could, over one beer no less. With all their history of fighting whenever they saw each other, it was a bloody miracle. He had expected hostility, or an uncomfortable conversation where one or the other would flee after the first drink. But there he still sat, waiting for Zechs to come back with his beer.

"Here you go, Heero." Zechs handed Heero his beer and sat down, sipping lightly from his glass.

"I take it you're still with the Preventers, then?" Heero asked as Zechs lowered his glass.

"Yes, but Une was kind enough to put me on indefinite leave. I can go back anytime I want, and she worked it so I'm still on the payroll, but I don't have to work."

"What about the Sanc Kingdom? You could go back there." Heero took a sip of his beer, eyes rooted on Zechs. Even when he wasn't glaring, merely curious, it was a heavy gaze.

Zechs sighed. "Relena seems to be doing a good job with it. I can't go back there, though. Too many painful memories." Indeed, even just the mention of the Sanq kingdom was enough to make him want to sink into depression.

Heero snorted. "I don't blame you."

"My sister still following you around?"

Hero chuckled a little at that. "No. She used to show up at my work, wanting to just be with me, or go out on dates; she had all kinds of reasons to show up. She finally stopped coming when one of the guys got a little rough with her. I stopped it, of course, but finally told her that I was with Duo. That got through to her, and while we still talk on occasion, she pretty much leaves me alone now."

Zechs heart nearly stopped at what Heero had said, but was glad that he was still looking out for her. "I thought you liked my dear sister."

Heero shrugged, downing a large gulp of beer. "I thought so, too. I think it was more of fascination with who she could be. It brought out my protective streak, sure, but beyond that? I think of her as more of a sister than anything else." Heero smirked then. "I'm surprised that you didn't know that."

Zechs had the grace to look embarrassed. "I haven't talked to her since the Eve Wars."

"She misses you, Zechs. She keeps asking me if I've seen or heard from you."

For some reason, that took him by surprise. After all, they had never been really close after Dorlan adopted her, and after she had found out they were related, well, nothing had happened beyond them knowing that they were related. "I'm surprised. We never had a chance to get that close before I left," Zechs admitted as he continued to sip his whiskey.

"I was too, the first time she asked. But I guess you've come to mean more to her than you seem to realize."

Zechs sighed. "That could be true."

The noise suddenly swelled in the bar as two men started a fight over the dartboard. Both Heero and Zechs frowned at that.

"I only live a few blocks away. Want to buy some alcohol and finish drinking there? We won't have to put with this crap that way."

Zechs eyed Heero for a second, trying to figure out if there were any hidden agendas behind the offer. But his face was as stoic as usual, and he could get nothing from him.

The sounds of other people joining in the brawl reached them, and that decided it. He finished off his whiskey in one gulp and stood. "Sounds good."

Heero nodded and stood as well. Together they made their way out of the bar, narrowly avoiding the brawl as they did so.

"There's a liqueur store around the corner, we can get what we want there."

Zechs nodded. "That's fine."

Heero picked up a twelve pack of beer as Zechs browsed through the hard liqueur, finally settling on a good-sized bottle of whiskey. They paid for their purchases separately and walked out.

Heero led the way, carrying the beer like it weighed nothing. Zechs couldn't help but admire his strength as they walked the rest of the block to an old, seedy apartment building.

"It's not much, but its shelter and I'm not turning that down," Heero said, a little defensively as he let them into the apartment. It was sparse and clean, and while the carpet was old and threadbare, and the walls stained yellow from what could only be years of cigarette smoke, it seemed to suit Heero.

Heero walked into the kitchen, flicking on lights as he went, and put the beer down on the counter before taking off his coat. "Have a seat. I'll get you a glass." Coat in one hand, Heero handed it to Zechs as he walked back into the living room to hang his coat on the coat rack. Zechs put the glass down and followed him to hang his coat as well. It was warm in the apartment, much warmer than outside.

Zechs then poured himself a glass as he sat. Heero grabbed a beer and sat as well. "I always thought of you as a red wine drinker."

Zechs shrugged. "That's what I usually drank while with Oz, but I prefer hard alcohol, really." He sipped some, not surprised to find that what he had just bought was better quality than what the bar had served. "But I never pictured you drinking anything at all. I would have guessed that, with how it dulls the senses, that you would avoid it."

Heero snorted. "You can blame Duo; his favorite pastime was drinking. I don't drink very often by myself, but I still do like the occasional beer. And now that the wars are over, I don't really have to worry about being fucked up and having a mission come in." He snorted again.

"I see." Zechs wasn't surprised that it had Duo that had gotten Heero into drinking. From what little he knew of the braided pilot, drinking seemed right up his alley. And what he had said about the wars was right; it looked like peace would be lasting for a while at least.

Zechs finished off his glass, feeling buzzed and giddy. He poured himself another glass as Heero got up for another beer. "You drink those fast."

"I have a high tolerance, and the taste has grown on me." Heero shrugged as he sat back down. "And I feel like drinking a lot tonight."

Zechs raised his glass in a mock salute. "I'll drink to that," he said, and downed half the glass in one shot. Heero cocked an eyebrow at that, but he drank deeply as well.

Zechs drank like it was water, the both of them trading mostly war stories as they drank more and more.

"Fuck, I shouldn't have had that much to drink; I still have to get back." Inwardly, Zechs didn't want to go home; he had decided that he liked Heero, and he was pleasant company.

Heero finished off his beer. "Then don't. You can sleep on the couch."

Zechs nodded. "Sounds good," he managed to slur out. "Thank you."

Heero shrugged. "It's not a problem. Let me get a blanket and pillow for you." He stood, only weaving a little, and made his way down the short hall across from Zechs. He reappeared a moment later carrying a pillow and blanket as promised.

Heero tossed them onto the couch and stretched. "I am exhausted, so I'm going to bed. I've been awake for a few days now, and really need some rest."

Zechs nodded, getting up from the chair carefully. "I should get some rest as well. Sleep well."

Heero nodded. "You too."

Zechs staggered over to the makeshift bed, the alcohol in his system making everything seem like an obstacle. When he finally made it to the couch, his last waking thought as he fell asleep was whether or not Heero would kill him as he slept.

TBC…