Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Peppy Pills ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

PEPPY PILLS

 

(A/N: finally. . .I got the idea for this last year. . . .It's probably been done before, but I don't caaaaare ::sing-song voice::)

 

Note: As with all my other one-shot Gundam Wing fics, there is a certain level of OOC-ness. C'mon people, it's fun!!

 

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Ever wonder just why Duo is so happy all the time? How he can always be so cheerfully hyper and bouncy?

 

Because you know it can't be natural. . .

 

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Heero woke up with a hangover. He had gotten drunk the night before (obviously) and now he was seriously paying for it. Exactly why he got drunk we cannot say for security reasons.

 

He stumbled down the hall thinking only one thing: Tylenol. Which was rather odd, considering that, once upon a time, he had popped his leg back into its joint with nary a drop of morphine. Go figure.

 

In any case, he eventually made it to the bathroom (after tripping over the threshold).

 

Note: Perfect soldiers should not get totally wasted.

 

Heero pulled himself up off the floor; he left the room dark (for the light—it burned!!) and fumbled through the medicine cabinet. His fingers encountered something smooth—thank God, the Tylenol. Taking two little pills, he swallowed them dry.

 

Sighing, Heero turned to go back to his room and the wonderful abyss of sleep. Unfortunately, he tripped over the threshold. . .again. Mentally swearing, he began to pick himself up (again) when he got a funny feeling in his stomach. Groaning, he lay down on the floor and passed out.

 

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Duo yawned, coming out of his room, more or less ready to go out in public. He wanted to sleep more, but he had promised Hilde that he would go shopping with her, and if he skipped out on another date, she would hurt him (she'd been taking judo lessons and he was afraid. Very, very afraid.).

 

And so he made his way down the hallway, eyes closed. . .and tripped. Prying his face out of the carpet, he turned and saw—

 

“Heero?!” Instantly Duo was at his comrade's side, rolling him over, checking his pulse and heartbeat.

 

“Whew,” the braided pilot sighed. “I thought you were dead for a second. . .” Heero made a soft noise. “Eh?” Duo leaned closer.

 

Heero was. . .giggling. Duo drew back, convinced he was hearing things. But upon closer inspection of the pilot's face, he was indeed smiling and. . .giggling.

 

“Uh. . .Heero?” Duo asked hesitantly, edging away.

 

Heero's eyes opened—there was a peculiar sparkle to them. He sat up, looking around. And then he. . .grinned. Duo was nearly sent into cardiac arrest.

 

“Uh. . .hey, buddy. How you feeling?”

 

“I feel great!” Heero said. The scary thing was he was genuinely cheerful and seemed completely serious about what he was saying.

 

Thus, Duo came to the only “possible” conclusion.

 

Oh my God, Heero's possessed!!

 

“Right. . .” Duo got to his feet and went to help Heero up. “Listen, you weren't. . .attacked by anything otherworldly lately, were you?”

 

“What are you talking about, Duo?” Heero laughed. “I haven't been attacked. I've done some attacking—just last night I had to attack some people in a bar—” He touched a finger to his lips and leaned towards Duo. And then he winked. “But I can't let you in on the details—if I did, I'd have to kill you, and that just wouldn't be nice.” He started giggling again.

 

Duo shuddered. “Heero, seriously. . .”

 

“Seriously, you need to lighten up, man!” Heero draped an arm over Duo. “Waaaay too tense, that's what you are!” He stopped suddenly, and slowly turned to stare at Duo.

 

“Ah. . .” before Duo could convince Heero back to his room (so that Duo could go check for a local priest to do an exorcism) the unthinkable happened.

 

Heero kissed Duo.

 

Trowa chose that moment to walk into the hallway. He caught sight of the pair, and the book he was carrying dropped to the floor with a loud thud. Before he could start hyperventilating, however, he heard a series of squeals and clicks coming from his right.

 

In front of the window stood several fangirls, ogling the kissing pilots and taking pictures with non-flash cameras.

 

“Oy!” Trowa called, and the fangirls scattered. Wait a minute, he thought, This is the second floor. How. . . He shook his head. He didn't want to know.

 

He would definitely have to discuss better security measures, though. . .

 

A thump brought his attention back to Duo and Heero. The former was sitting on the floor in a heap, while the perfect soldier himself was. . .skipping away and down the stairs.

 

Once Trowa's mind got over the mental trauma of the situation, he went to kneel beside Duo. The American's face was one solid mask of shock. At Trowa's touch he looked up and blinked.

 

“What just happened. . .really just happened, right?” he managed.

 

Trowa sighed. “Heero just kissed you.”

 

“Dear God!!” Duo huddled into himself, face buried in his hands.

 

“Surely it couldn't have been that. . .bad.” Trowa coughed. “Come on, you've faced worse.”

 

“That's not the problem!” Duo moaned. “I sort of. . .liked it. . .”

 

There was a rather uncomfortable silence as the two boys stared at each other.

 

“Moving on,” Trowa said, “why exactly is Heero so. . .different?”

 

“He's possessed,” Duo said, standing and fixing Trowa with an expression that said `duh'.

 

“Possessed.”

 

“Yeah, by demons, or aliens, or. . .” Duo looked into the bathroom and paled. “Oh no. He didn't. He couldn't have.”

 

“What?” Trowa demanded.

 

Duo slowly turned to look at him. “I think he might have taken some of my. . .medication.” Trowa blinked at him, then pushed him out of the way and went into the bathroom.

 

And there it was: a small bottle of pills. The label proclaimed “Peppy Pills” in large yellow letters, with a little “TM” beside it.

 

Trowa looked at Duo. “Are you serious?”

 

“. . .Yeah.”

 

“And Heero took some of these?”

 

“Probably.”

 

Trowa smacked his forehead. “For God's sake, man, it's on the label!!” He thrust the bottle into Duo's face. The braided pilot, cross-eyed, read aloud:

 

“Not recommended for stoic individuals, perfect soldiers, and/or psychotic pilots of weapons of mass destruction.”

 

Duo leaned to one side so that he could stare innocently at Trowa. “But my doctor recommended them.”

 

“He must have had a forged certificate of practice,” Trowa muttered, pocketing the pill bottle and starting down the hallway. He stopped. “Wait. . .this doctor wouldn't happen to be Professor G?”

 

“Yeah. Why?”

 

“Your stupidity is amazing, Duo.”

 

“Oy!”

 

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The two of them went downstairs, and met Quatre in the living room. The Arabian had a look on his face that harkened of things disturbing and otherworldly.

 

“What's wrong?” Duo asked.

 

“Heero came through here,” Quatre replied, his voice rather vague.

 

“What was he doing?” Trowa asked.

 

“He was. . .giggling.”

 

Silence.

 

Trowa glared at Duo. “Okay!” the American yelped. “I swear I will lock the pills in my vault once this is over!”

 

Quatre blinked and came back from whatever happy place he had been in. “What pills?”

 

“Peppy pills. That's what has Heero acting so. . .odd.”

 

Quatre sighed. “Thank God. I knew narcotics had to be involved. My second conclusion was that he was possessed by demons or aliens or something.”

 

“Really? That was my first conclusion,” Duo said. Trowa shot him a death glare.

 

“So what does this mean exactly?” Quatre asked. Trowa tossed him the pill bottle, and the blond read aloud:

 

“Side effects include: craving sugar and/or caffeine, fits of laughter, hyperactive episodes, and randomly kissing people.

 

DANGER: Extended periods of laughter can lead to hyperventilation and loss of consciousness.”

 

“That may be our salvation,” Trowa muttered, giving the bottle to Duo, who pocketed it. But first we need to track him down.” Quatre nodded and the two of them started for the door.

 

“Hey. . .guys?” Duo said, in a `thinking' stance. “I just remembered. . .didn't a Starbucks open down the block last week?”

 

Trowa and Quatre stared at him. Side effects include craving sugar and/or caffeine. . .

 

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I would like to take this moment to say. . .I am -so- sorry. I have no idea what I was on when I wrote this XD

 

And looks like this is gonna be longer than a one-shot, so I divided it into nice little sections. Bwa-ha-ha.

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. I just have fun tormenting the characters.