Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Perfectly Broken ❯ Chapter 19 ( Chapter 19 )

Chapter 19

 

xoxoxoxoxoxox

 

"I can't believe he said all that stuff to you! What the fuck is wrong with him?" Duo raged as we cleaned up the living room after Zechs left. I finally found the courage to tell him what Zechs said to me. The reaction, I got though, startled me. A part of me half expected Duo to side with Zechs and what he said to me was really some sick joke, not rant about him like this.

 

"Calm down, Duo. He left and it's over. I'll just forget it ever happened."

 

"Like hell! Heero, he basically shoved everything you worry about in your face and brought it up when I couldn't stop it! He had absolutely NO RIGHT to do that to you! Don't sugarcoat this into something that it isn't. I know how Zechs is when he gets jealous." Duo said sullenly.

 

"You're right. You would know better than I do." I told him softly as I turned to put the coffee mugs in the sink. Duo did know more about Zechs than I did because he used to be with Zechs. That thought alone made me bitter. Zechs was a thousand times more experienced at being a lover than I was. How was I even supposed to try to step into his shoes? Who was I when compared with him?

 

Maybe he was right. Duo would grow tired of me. It was one of my biggest fears, after all. I knew that if he ever did leave me, there was nothing I could do to stop him.

 

If it was what he wanted, I would let him go. I would let him leave if it was what he truly wanted.

 

A warm breath of air caressed the back of my neck as strong bands of muscled arms wrapped around my waist. "I'm sorry." Duo breathed in my ear. His warm breath tickled my sensitive skin as he whispered to me how beautiful I was to him and how much he loved me. I let his words sweep through me like a spell and locked the tender words inside my heart.

 

Duo tugged me to our room and I let him remind me of how much he needed me. His fingers danced across my sensitive skin with gentle motions and subtle reminders of how much he knew about my body and how I would respond. He made my skin tingle and warm up with the ever-growing lust I felt whenever we would make love. He wouldn't let me forget it and I begged for a kiss from him.

 

My arms reached up into his silken mass of hair and caressed those beautiful tresses with my fingers as he gently pressed me down into our soft bed. A cool breeze ghosted my flesh as he divested me of my clothes, one item at a time. He kissed the exposed skin of my belly and pressed warm kisses at every inch. A moan of pleasure escaped my lips as he moved lower and began to prepare me for the long night that was ahead of us, a smile of happiness never leaving my lips as he made slow, sweet, and gentle love to me.

 

When I awoke, Duo was still wrapped within my arms and his warm breath billowed against my neck where his head rested. My body was sated and my mind comforted by Duo's steady presence and dedication to show me he loved me, even though my doubts had clouded my belief in him. Zechs' words had haunted me and Duo had to remind me of what I had and reinforced it with his love for me. I fell back to sleep, knowing that Duo was right beside me and I was safe within his arms.

 

The nightmares had come though, as I knew they would. They always appeared when my trust in Duo wavered.

 

Sometimes ghostly images of J would appear, making me quake and tremble in fear. A cold hand would drag me away from Duo and take me back to that room that I had been kept in when J wanted to play with me.

 

Sometimes the nightmares weren't really nightmares, but memories of what my life had been before Duo had shined some light upon the horrible existence that was my life.

 

None of these images were as bad as the ones where Duo would slowly disappear into the darkness and I would be alone, calling for him to come back and screaming for him to save me. The nightmare held onto me with a vice-like grip, refusing to let me go even as I struggled to free myself and reach Duo. No matter how close I came to saving him, he would always slip through my fingers at the last second and disappeared before my eyes. The nightmare had ensnared me and refused to let me go. I could feel the darkness over take me as I was drowned in the black ocean of oblivion.

 

I jumped with a start when I felt something tighten around my waist. As I looked down, I saw skeleton arms wrapped around my middle, the hands clutching at me. I struggled to break free but the arms kept getting tighter and tighter, threatening to squeeze out the last of my breath. 'Heero...' A voice called to me as I felt the skeleton begin to shake me. I closed my eyes tight as I wished Duo would come to rescue me, yet I knew he couldn't.

 

He was...

 

"Heero! Heero, wake up! Come on, baby I know you're in there! Open your eyes, my love!" It was Duo's voice, I realized as my eyes snapped open.

 

He was here?

 

Duo was hovering above me, his eyes filled with concern. How did he...? But where was the skeleton?

 

I blinked at him then looked down at my waist. The blankets wrapped tightly around me in some kind of twisted design. It was just the blankets! Only our blankets, I thought to myself. Not some skeleton trying to kill you. A sigh of relief escaped my lips as my brain finally grasped at what I was seeing.

 

"Heero? Are you alright?" Duo asked me softly. He was still naked, sitting close to me, but not as close as when we had been sleeping last night. I nodded shakily and he started to help untangle me from the blankets. "You were thrashing around so violently in your sleep that these got wrapped all around you. It must of been a really bad dream." He said quietly.

 

"It was." Duo tugged the rest out the blankets off the bed and threw them to the floor. He came to sit beside me as I willed my heart beat to slow down. Duo gently reached out and caressed my face with the briefest touch of his fingers. I found myself leaning into his touch and he came even closer to me until he was sitting behind me. Both of his legs were stretched out on each side of me as he got comfortable. He gently put his arms around me and pulled me back to lean against his chest. His warmth so inviting, I closed my eyes as I felt his fingers brush lightly against my cheek. A moan rumbled in the back of my throat, almost like a cat purring, from the gentle sensations of comfort he was giving me.

 

"You're safe with me, love." He murmured against my forehead as I turned to bury my face in his neck. Tears threatened to escape from my eyes as he held and rocked me slowly, calming me down from the horrible vision I had dreamed and made me warm again with his heat.

 

I don't know how long we sat there together. My eyes becoming waterfalls with their unending tears, spilling my sorrow and fears as the flood kept up with its rage. Duo continued to comfort and soothe me even when the tears began to slow and I regained some control over myself again. He wouldn't let me hide my fears. My tears were the proof of them.

 

"My sweet baby." He crooned. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Shitty. But... better than I would have with you here." I briefly smirked at him.

 

"Glad to be of service." I chuckled a bit at that as he tilted his head if he were going to take a bow.

 

"How do you always know how to set everything straight?"

 

"To tell you the truth, I don't know. I do what feels right and do what I must to make you feel better. What kind of lover would I be if I left you hurting and tried not to stop the pain that you're feeling? I love you, Heero. I'll do whatever I can to help you, if I can. Even fighting those evil nightmares you've been having." He grinned down at me then kissed me so softly that it felt like a gentle breeze washing over my skin instead of a kiss. But I loved the moment all the same.

 

Duo kept holding me until I nodded off again, when I awoke the next morning, the covers were back on the bed and wrapped around both of us. I had my face buried against Duo's neck, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, and my legs entwined with his. Duo's chest rose and fell with his gentle breath and I took a few minutes to get my bearings again. The room was brighten with the light of the sun and none of the harsh shadows of my dreams came to tear me away from the comforting calm of the morning light.

 

It was hard to believe my worst nightmares had happened in this room. A room that held all of my most precious memories. I could just weep knowing that no matter how hard I tried to forget what I was, the memories just wouldn't leave me. Sometimes I didn't know what was worse, being stuck with these thoughts and images or knowing that I had come so far since then but still could get sucked back into that life at any moment.

 

The one thing I did know was that I couldn't give up Duo or this new life no matter what. The struggle to deal with it and anything that tried to take it away was better than actually having the worst happen. I never told Duo, but there were other people that worked with J and they had yet to come forward. G didn't care about me, I knew that for certain after he bid me farwell and told me all of J's things were now mine after he died. The amounts in his bank accounts would forever help me to survive and keep Duo and I secure for a very long time if not until our deaths. It was a morbid thought, but a comforting one all the same.

 

Still... I had to wonder if my nightmares were trying to tell me something. And if they were, would I be able to figure them out before disaster struck.

 

xoxoxoxox

 

 

TBC...

 

A/N: Sorry I've been away for so long, but my schedule is full to the brim even though it is my spring break, which really stinks. But I thank everyone who has reviewed my fic thus far and I'm hoping to update again soon before having to return to campus and my evil classes.

 

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