Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Pilot Auditions ❯ Things Are Not Always As They Seem ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of it's characters (stupid fate) I'm also making no money off of this so please don't sue me.
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Pilot Auditions
By Cyrelia J

Part 2: "Things are Not Always As They Seem"

Dr J: Hmm... it says here on your application that your name is "Leslie"... that'll never do...

Heero: ::whining:: My mommy thought it was cute...

Dr J: Well I'm not your mommy boy ::leers:: Now your "Daddy" on the other hand...

Heero: ::blinks:: excuse me?

Dr J: ::waves his hand absently:: nothing nothing... Now, if you want to be a Gundam pilot one of the first things we must attend to is a little matter of this contract...::whips out a piece of paper:: I just need you to sign on the dotted line here...And your name from now on is "Heero"...

Heero: ::raises an eyebrow:: Heero?

Dr J: ::sighs:: now now we all remember the tale of "A Boy Named Sue"...

Heero: ::pales:: point taken ::signs his name as "Heero Yuy"::

Dr J: Excellent! Now that all that's been settled...

Heero: ::glares:: Get your hand off my ass.

Dr J: Apparently you didn't read the fine print ::smirks::

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Duo: ::blowing bubbles and popping his gum:: So...you want meto be this "Minihaha" or whatever you call it?

Professor G: That's Shinigami...and would you quit that, It's annoying!!

Duo: Don't yell at me. I can still get my boyfriend from L1 to come over here and beat you up! ::blows the biggest bubble he can::

Proffessor G: I'll believe that when I see it... ::pops the bubble with his pen::

Duo: ::screams in a panic as the gum gets in his hair:: That's it from now on it's going in a braid!

::The wall from the lab blows apart and in walks a pissed off Heero with Dr J's hand still attached to his ass::

Heero: ::turns to Dr J:: I told you to stop that ::Glares::

Dr J: ::indignantly:: It's stuck...

Duo: Leslie! ::glomps onto Heero:: I knew you'd rescue me from this evil freaky walking mushroom.

Heero: It's "Heero" now...

Professor G: ::interrupting:: Mushroom?!...::spots Dr J:: What are you doing here?...And what is your hand doing there ?

Dr J: ::hand magically becomes "unstuck":: Um...recruiting a pilot?

Heero, Duo, and Professor G: ::glare::

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Doktor S: Okay, now in order to ensure that I will have peak...performance out of you...

Trowa: ::raises an eyebrow::

Doktor S: ::coughs delicately:: Piloting Heavyarms that is...I need you to fill out a little questionnaire, nothing too strenuous just things I might need for future reference. ::hands him a packet of papers::

Trowa: ::begins filling out papers starting with Age, weight, height:: Well, it seems innocent enough... ::reads further:: turn-ons...turn-offs...top or bottom?!!!! How is this supposed to help me pilot a Gundam?!

Doktor S: ::Sagely:: It does trust me.

Trowa: Fine ::Writes in "hot sex, pilots, circuses" and then "committment, clowns" an finally "you will never know":: Better? ::hands it to him::

Doktor S: I just need a photograph... take off your shirt... for identification purposes.

Trowa: ::grumbles as he undresses:: My agent it so fired...

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Instructor H: What do you mean you're not a sissy boy?! You've got the pink shirt and everything! ::pacing back and forth in annoyance::

Quatre: I told you once already stupid it's punch. Now give me a reason to stay, or I'm walking! ::Starting for the door::

Instructor H: Um... ::thinks quickly and pulls out a picture of Trowa in drag:: How's this?

Quatre: ::leans in to get a closer look:: Man she's a real hottie, you'll hook me up with her?! ::dirty thoughts dancing through his head::

Instructor H: Of course, only the best for the heir to the Winner fortune...but one thing, when you meet her she'll be masquerading as a boy.

Quatre: Why would she do that?

Instructor H: Why to keep her virginity intact of course. Now then, you can't let yourself be fooled however, she's really a girl...persistence, that's the key! ::hands him a huge cardboard box of condoms::

Quatre: ::reading:: hmm... "Ribbed... for her pleasure..."

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Master O: Okay, one more time repeat after me...Being a sex toy is good... ::waving a pocketwatch back and forth::

Wufei: ::in a trance:: ...good...

Master O: Good, good, now then Men are strong...men are sexy...

Wufei: ::still zombiefied:: men are strong...men are sexy...

Master O: Yes!!! You've got it now lastly, I will become my mentor's personal boy toy

Wufei: I will become... ::snaps out of his trance:: What?!!

Master O: tsk tsk, you've just interrupted your training, ::sigh::now we must start from the beginning

Wufei: ::drawing his sword:: You SONOFABITCH!!!!!!