Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Post Up...And One! ❯ Lady Marmalade ( Chapter 9 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Manga-Chick 
Jake just needs a little reminding...and what's this?! A lack of protein can stunt your growth?
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.10.2007 | Pages: 6 | Words: 6.8K | Visits: 189 | Status: Completed
Jake just needs a little reminding...and what's this?! A lack of protein can stunt your growth?
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.10.2007 | Pages: 6 | Words: 6.8K | Visits: 189 | Status: Completed
Chapter Nine:
“Lady Marmalade” Missy Elliot, Christina Aguliera, Pink, Mya and Lil’Kim
Quatre laid quietly on the couch in the small living room, listening to the sounds of the city from the open window nearby. There was a stale air flowing through, barely enough to keep him cool, so he was laying out in his shorts with no shirt or socks. His mind kept running over Trowa. He couldn’t help but feel this way–it was odd. He didn’t give cheating so much thought when he’d messed around with Justin...but perhaps that situation had been wholly different. After all, in the end, it came to light that Trowa had cheated on him, so it was a slightly even situation. That one he hadn’t given as much guilt to, but he remembered most of what he’d felt.
It was a very delicate subject, and the more he pondered over it, the less it started to feel like it had. Jake was right, in a way–if Sylvia didn’t know, nothing could be helped. She should be more angry at Trowa than at him.
But then again, he was the one that let Trowa in, and he was the other...uh, sex partner, so...he was just as at fault as Trowa was.
It was quiet at three thirty a.m., and both father and son had retreated to the back bedroom hours ago. The light from outside drifted in through the vertical blinds, allowing him just enough light to see, as the living room and surrounding areas were covered in darkness.
Mike had worn himself out on one of the Halo offsprings. It felt good, in a way, that the little boy liked him. It was unconditional and straight-out, with no games. The boy simply liked him because he was a fun playmate to have. Quatre felt sorry for the boy, though, because it was evident that things were climbing onto his rather thin shoulders. Jake was silently seething over the fact that Mike was beginning to stutter his words, and that he seemed more unruly than usual. He quietly blamed the custody battle, and Quatre realized just how petty his own situation was.
While he was moping about ex-sex, his friend was in danger of losing his son. In that sense, he resolved to keep his problems to the minimal, and kept his focus and attention on the boy. Cheering Mike up was easy to do–he simply acted himself and entertained the little boy’s needs. It was a small refreshment from his own life.
But it also gave him another perspective–he realized how selfish he was, focusing on rather stupid things while others were focused on things that truly mattered...
In that sort of perspective, he sought out the rationale in which he concluded his ex-sex foray with a simple: I Fucked Up, But I Need To Move On...All in all, when he thought about it a little more, he realized that it wasn’t an entirely life-altering situation. He was just going to be happy that he got some. And if Sylvia found out, well...it would be Trowa’s fault. Not his.
He heard some shouting going on outside the apartment, a group of men arguing over something, and shifted uncomfortably. He had just about resolved himself to try and get some sleep when he heard the back door open and close, and he sat up straight, turning his head to look for Jake. The older male walked in, giving him a surprised look. Yawning, he veered off course from the kitchen to sit on the other end of the couch, rubbing at his forehead. He looked over at him, frowning.
Jake realized that Quatre was still thinking about things, and that irritated him. For one, it wasn’t such a big deal. For another...it was just irritating that Quatre was spending so much time angsting over the guy.
He frowned at the condition of the living room of the heat that kept it an uncomfortable temp. The window was open, but there just wasn’t enough air circulating through. So he left the couch briefly to open the balcony door, where the voices of men crept through with a uneasy violence. But at least it felt better. He took his position back on the couch, and sighed sleepily.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked.
“No. I was just...thinking about things.”
“Oh.”
Jake yawned again, and rose from the couch. Quatre watched him go, flushing slightly as he thought about how good the other male’s butt looked in those shorts. The other prepared a cup of juice and grabbed a leftover piece of cold pizza from the fridge. Then he resumed his seat at the other end of the couch, yawning once again.
“It’s too hot,” he complained, drinking his juice. “I hate the hot weather here.”
“It is hot,” Quatre agreed.
“Wanna drink?”
“No. Um...I was...kinda wondering about things, and...you know, I really want to thank you for being a friend. Y’know? It’s kind of confusing about those things, and...”
“Don’t even sweat it. It’s cool. Just quit thinking about things too much. Yeah, you fucked up with someone that you shouldn’t. Just chalk it up to whatever and move on. When his girl finds out, he’s gonna be the one in trouble, anyway. ‘Course, she’s gonna blame you, too, but her man was the one doin’ the chasin’...right?”
“Yeah....heh. I guess.” Quatre picked at his knee, and shrugged. He felt a little too aware of himself being shirtless. He didn’t want any comment made on his body, and held himself hunched over, as if giving Jake less of a chance to observe him. Not that he would want to... “Um...what’s going to happen? I mean, with Mike?”
Jake frowned thoughtfully, chewing at his pizza. He shrugged. “Nothing to concern yourself over, Winner. You’d never understand. How are you going to get to school, tomorrow?”
“I can...walk. It’s not that far.”
“Thirty blocks?”
“Yeah. I mean, to my home. You’re practically just down the street...”
“We can give you a ride. I was thinkin’ of taking him to that amusement park down on Fortieth, anyway.”
“Knotts Berry?”
“Whatever it is.” Jake frowned down at the rest of his pizza, and muttered, “Christ...this is why I gained weight. Want the rest?”
“Nah.”
“When do you start training?”
“In the end of September.”
“It’s not like high school, boy. You better get yourself prepared for another slap in the face. College ball’s different. Separate gender teams. It’s more intense. You’re good, Winner, but you’re also a frosh. You’re not going to be playing immediately.” Jake shrugged. “Just so you know. They got that Foley guy running the plays, and he’s a junior.”
“I kinda figured, I mean...I wasn’t expecting high school ball.”
“Just don’t let it get you down. Do your thing. Of course, push yourself, this time. That last year, it was like, you weren’t even trying. I mean, you were, just not with the same intensity as that one year.”
“That’s what my coach said. But he suggested that I lay off the ‘physical’ activity.”
“Ha! HA! Did he? Shit...course, that could help, too. Testosterone and all that...kinda builds up, gives the male an aggressive edge...like boxing. Try it. Oh...right...you have no choice.”
“Har, har. God, you can be such a dick sometimes...”
“Take it like a man, Winner.”
“Anyway...um....I was thinking of talking to him. You know?”
“What the hell for? What the fuck’s talkin’ gonna do? It’s encouraging the motherfucker to come around. Don’t talk to him.”
“I don’t want to be childish, either! If it helps, then, I’ll do it.”
“What are you gonna say?”
“I...don’t know. Man, we had such a thing going, and–! I can’t just leave things as they are...I still want to be friends.”
Jake sighed heavily, and leaned his head back in exasperation. Quatre shifted in his position and kicked him, sending juice all over. While the other male cursed, Quatre continued with, “You have to at least understand that, man. I mean...haven’t you ever wanted that before? To be friends with someone that you had a history with?”
“...Yeah. Kinda. But it don’t always work out.”
“...Is that how it was with Celia?”
“Quit tryin’ to change the subject, Winner. If you wanna do it, then don’t cry around when it backfires. All right?”
“‘K.”
“Now...I need to go back to bed. But...um...I...was wondering. Are you–are you still good for that offer in babysitting?”
“You...got a date?” Quatre asked uneasily, frowning at how disappointed his tone sounded. Jake must have caught it, but all he did was lift an eyebrow and shift apprehensively.
“No, but I’d like to go out. I could find one then. I mean, you don’t have to, but–”
“Just let me know.”
Jake frowned at him, but shrugged. He rose from the couch, setting his cup on the counter. “‘K. Night.”
“Good night.”
When he heard the other door open and close, Quatre sighed uneasily, resting his chin upon his knees. Jake was a good friend and all, but why did he have to be so good-looking? And straight?
#20#20#20#20#20#20#20
That Tuesday night, Jake had just gotten home, feeling a little tired from his ‘Monday’ at work. With the hot weather brought hot-headed people, and dealing with them had been truly taxing. His apartment was stifling hot, so he opened up what windows he felt like opening, and took a shower. It was nearly twelve a.m., so he sat on the couch and relaxed with a bottle of water, catching up on the news during a late night newscast. Growing tired of all the drama New Park had to offer, he turned to stare out the window, hearing the voices of people having a party, and smelling late night barbeque.
He wondered what Quatre was up to. Thinking about him made him feel a little funny, in that he was constantly thinking of him. Whether it was because he was wondering what he was up to, or about what he had said or done. It made him distinctively uncomfortable in that he was growing attached to the guy. Thinking about him in this way made him nervous.
It caused him to reflect, his mind drifting off back to his high school days...
It was a hot summer’s night, and instead of sticking around home with Celia and their baby, he had taken off for a party with some pals on the West Side. Though he felt a little guilty that he’d left Celia alone, he was assuring himself that he’d only have a couple of drinks and then head back, to help out with one the late-night feedings.
But he lost track of time, and found himself sitting on one of the various piers on the harbor, watching the sun come up. A half-empty bottle of beer beside him, he wasn’t really sober as he admired the colors of the morning sky. He heard footsteps behind him, and glanced over his shoulder, expecting a cop or something of the sort, and saw Darren Westminer staggering over. The twenty-five year old was ten years older than him, a constant partier, a current transient, but filled with some maturity that Jake envied. He had five kids with different women, and was never very reliable. But he had a personality that was fun to relate to, and was always armed with a laugh or comment.
Jake had met the older boy at a party, and for some reason, Darren had attached himself to him; always joking, always playing, and there was a sense of comfort in him that had Jake relaxing himself around him. Darren always made sure to scold and cuss him out for not being there for Celia, but Jake only had to point out that he was doing the same thing to his women, and Darren usually shut up.
But...things were quite well between them, and they had been progressively so in the last few days.
Darren sat himself down next to him, looking down at the bluish-green water below his worn shoes. He reeked of alcohol and body odor, but that was normal for him. All Jake had to do was concentrate on other things, so he sipped at his beer and continued to watch the sun rise.
“You know,” Darren slurred, looking in his direction. He would have been attractive–but he had not shaved for a few days, his hair was a mess, and there was dried vomit on his shirt. His skin color was the shade of coffee, his black features prominently mixed with a sort of Asian quality. He had really nice green eyes that often twinkled with amusement. “For someone like you...you’re actually pretty cute.”
Jake sputtered his beer, getting it all over his clothing.
“I’d do you if I were sober,” Darren continued. “But I probably got whiskey dick, anyway.”
“That’s just WRONG! Fuck! What the fuck are you talkin’ about? You’re fucking messed up, man... don’t say that kinds of shit to me...I didn’t know you were fuckin’ gay...”
“I ain’t. Really. Just when...I drink? I kinda see things in a different perspective. Say, have you slept with a man, before?”
“NO! No, and I don’t plan on it! That’s just fuckin’ gross!”
“Dude, you’re not seeing the whole issue,” Darren insisted in a drunken slur, leaning forward. Jake pulled his head back, the stench from the other man making his eyes water. “Sleeping with a man...it’s like...”
“Sex up the ass!”
“Yeah, but the sensation...things are different. You see things differently. You know? Sleeping with a man, something of your equal...you’re pitted with someone that has as much strength as you. You’re sleeping with someone that can knock your teeth in, yet give you the best blow a woman hasn’t...sleeping with a man is all about power and seduction. Nothin’ makes a man like sleeping with one...”
“Ugh...go away...”
“Think about it, Jakie. Think about that when you’re on top of your woman. You ever do anal with her?”
“You’re stepping out of line, fucker...”
“Think about a man when you’re in that position. Think about...think about what it would be like if you were with a man. Seein’ strong back muscles, feeling them give when you get up there, seein’, feeling the hair on their legs...uhn...I think...”
“I’m out of here!” Jake said hurriedly, getting up from the edge of the pier, and hurrying off. He glanced back over his shoulder at Darren, who looked to be in the action of jerking off. Wincing, he hurried out of the area, and found a taxi.
When he arrived home, Celia was armed with a half-full canister of formula that she threw at him, screaming at him in rage, because Michael had cried all night. That fight merged into the same old scene that he was familiar with, and it took a couple of weeks before he managed to escape once more into the city, to party.
He was starting to feel extreme guilt, now, after spending time with his new son. Michael was really the funniest thing...he was brought into the world at 6 pounds, and 19 inches, and he had the funniest face that reddened whenever he messed his diapers. Thinking about things like that–feeding him, changing his diaper, giving him a bath, realizing he spit up all over his school clothes–made him wonder what was so good about partying. Why was he doing it?
Sure, Celia wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, especially when she was overweight, tired, and despised the fact that she couldn’t leave the apartment because she didn’t want to be seen. But why take it out on Michael by partying? He was just a baby...an innocent baby...
He was drowning his sorrows in a beer at some guy’s house, watching Dave Chapelle, and hearing people of various sexes in the kitchen around the corner. They were all playing some sort of poker game, and he was too drunk to keep his money from being won, so he had decided on letting the funny man amuse him.
Darren walked in, looking decidedly cleaner than he had the last time they talked. Jake shifted uncomfortably in his seat, frowning at the older boy with a sense of unease as Darren sat down on the same couch. Someone shrieked in outrage, and glass shattered. As laughter erupted, Darren looked over at him, and grinned.
“What’s this shit? Don’t you have a kid to be with?”
“Don’t you?”
“They got good mommas, kid. They don’t need a nobody like me.”
“Same here...”
“Your baby’s momma’s evil, bitch. Probably, if you leave her again, she’d pull a Yates.”
“Huh? What?”
“Never mind. Far before your time, probably. Look...I’m just saying...you don’t need to be out here. You got some hope for ya. Stop your drinking and partying, and go back to school.”
“I am in school. I’m playing ball for the team this year,” Jake answered in scoffing admission, frowning at him. “Coach let me know he wanted me on his team.”
“Good, good...so...did you think about what I said...?”
“Huh? About...about what...?”
“You know.”
“No.”
“About sleeping with men.”
“Ugh...NO! No, why would I think about that? I ain’t fuckin’ gay. I have a woman! I’m happy with women! Just cuz you’re fag–!”
“Honestly, I’m not. I love a good woman from time to time, but I’m gonna be honest with you, sucka. Those guys in there? Playing those cards? They’ve had their experience with men. Initiation to gangs, friends that wanted to experiment, cultural customs...they had their experience with men. Just your culture is different.”
“Whatever...I haven’t heard of that shit.”
“Because it ain’t talked about. Betcha ten to one they all had a man at one time. Just to see what was up. Didn’t mean they were fag. Just meant they were appeasin’ their curiosity.”
“Well, I don’t have any curiosity. Got it?”
“How would you know if you didn’t try?”
“I–”
“Why don’t we try? I won’t tell anybody.”
“Dude, I’m not like that. I’m not like you. I don’t want no motherfuckin’ man!”
“C’mon,” Darren said, leaning forward, grinning.
Jake moved to get up when the older male pulled him back down, and covered his body with his. In an earnest struggle, Jake cursed him, kicking and hitting, feeling tremendously mortified that some guy was attacking him. He didn’t want to call for help, certain that the others would laugh and call him a fag.
Darren settled his weight over him, and pinned his wrists down, keeping Jake down on the couch. Darren made shushing sounds, adjusting his position so that he was straddling the other boy’s hips. When he was certain Jake was subdued enough to make a move on, he lowered his head, touching his lips to the other boy’s. Jake cursed and tossed his head, but Darren moved once more, catching his lips. He pressed down with his lips, judging the other male’s reaction to the kiss.
When he realized Jake had gone still, probably in mortification and extreme rage than anything else, he softened the kiss, and placed his lips over the curved corner of his mouth. Smiling in satisfaction, Darren pulled his head up, looking down at the other male. His face had colored into a red-purple shade, and he was shaking with a demonic rage that made him a little nervous about letting him go.
Just to be sure, he placed another kiss on those cocky lips, judging the reaction from this move. He sensed nothing more, and made himself comfortable on the lighter form. Playfully, he adjusted his kisses to teasing and casual, trying to make the other boy react to them. Along this route, he really liked the way the boy felt underneath him, and wanted to try touching him. But, Jake would probably get loose and kick his ass, and he didn’t want to try it just yet.
Darren lifted his head, looking down into a confused expression, and slowly broke into a grin.
“See? Nothing bad,” he said quietly. “What do you feel?”
“I–can’t–breathe.”
“Yes, you can. Stop thinkin’ of ways to kill me, and just...tell me what you feel?”
“No, seriously–I can’t breathe.”
“I’ll kiss you again...I might even try and grope you.”
“It felt nice, all right? Get OFF!”
“‘Nice’? Just ‘nice’? Didn’t it make you want more?”
“NO!”
“I can make you want more, Jakie, m’boy. I’ve been with enough men to know what feels good. I can teach you. I can do all this...it won’t make you fag. Promise. You should just...know. Know what happens between men in the most intimate of moments. You’re a young buck, still–you can still learn. Learn to appreciate things.”
“I don’t want to–!”
Darren kissed him again, this time, flicking his tongue against the tightly closed lips. Chuckling, he ran the tip of his tongue over his lips, enjoying the flavor of beer and natural taste. He then nipped Jake’s bottom lip, and when the boy opened his mouth to give a shout, his tongue flicked in to taste the wet cavity. Of course, he barely pulled the muscle back in time, because Jake’s teeth snapped together in surprise.
Laughing, Darren let him go, and the boy socked him hard across the face, stumbling off in mortification. Darren merely laughed again, and used his cold beer bottle to ease the sure swelling on his cheek.
Of course, Jake had found himself thinking about that night a week later. Michael was wailing up a storm, and he was sure it was because he had an upset tummy. He hadn’t any clue in how to calm down the three month old, so he was holding him against his shoulder and pacing the living room floor. Celia had long since given up on comforting, wailing her own tears into the pillows of their bed.
It was odd, to be thinking about Darren’s words and actions while his son screamed in his ear. He felt troubled that he had admitted that it had felt ‘nice’. Because, in all actuality, it had. Darren had a way of kissing that made Jake wonder if that was how it felt all the time with guys. A firm press of lips, a touch of stubble, of knowing that the person he was kissing was a man, capable enough of holding him in place to place tender kisses. The contradiction was a turn-on in ways he hadn’t imagined, before.
It was weird thinking about such a thing, when he hadn’t before. It had taken Darren’s words to make him curious, and he sure as hell as wasn’t going to talk about it to anybody.
Unfortunately, Darren was arrested later that week, and had to put in a year’s worth of jail time for assault and battery against a man he was trying to mug.
In all that time, his and Celia’s fights had escalated, and he began cheating on her again, just to see if all the female race were just like her. Michael cried more than ever, and refused to be weaned from the bottle. Celia began seeing other guys, and Jake had even caught her with hickies from another guy. And, of course, he met Hautta and Felicia. So much chaos in one year had caused him to forget about Darren and his first experience with a man.
So when Darren met up with him again, at a street party one Fourth of July, it was more than awkward to face him once more. The guy had gotten rangy and had some muscle, looking a little intimidating. But...nicely male. He exuded an aura of confidence and reassurance that Jake found quite nice...after spending so much time with Celia, who depended on everyone to take care of her, and with the two supers that were equal in terms of strength, he found himself wondering all over again if being with a man would reassure him of his own strength.
Darren was on parole, but he had a beer in one hand as he walked over.
Words were exchanged, and Jake found himself an hour later, kissing and groping the guy behind someone’s tool shed. It hadn’t progressed to anything more than that, but it became somewhat of a commonplace occurrence whenever they saw each other. He was too anxious to have things progress beyond groping, and Darren was fine with it.
Then, that fall, talking to Hautta, he accidently let it slip that the hickey he had on his neck was from Darren. Of course, the alien Asian had freaked about it, declaring Jake unclean and disgusting, and had worked himself into a rage that was a little scary, considering that the alien was capable of tossing vehicles like Matchbox cars and crushing a man’s neck like a soda can.
Jake had been a little disturbed by the reaction, and had figured everyone would react in the same way. He swore to stop messing around with Darren that night, but in the end, it didn’t matter. The guy was killed in a gang-related drive-by, and his secret, as it were, was safe. He didn’t mention this experience with anyone else, and Hautta had forgotten about it, or had refused to speak about it.
Celia had somewhat of a clue, her female intuition alerting her to something fishy whenever Jake mentioned Darren’s name. But she hadn’t come straight out with any accusations, and he would deny them, anyway. That would be more fuel she could use against him.
Of course, with time, his curiosity in messing around with men had left, shriveling as he grew tired with school, work, and his hyperactive son that loved sticking things in outlets and small spaces.
And now, at present time, he had to wonder–with all that he’d experienced with Darren...would it be the same if he actually accepted Quatre’s sly advances? He knew the guy had some sort of feeling for him– it was just in the way those blue/green eyes looked at him in some moments, filled with something he thought mirrored his own looks with Darren that time ago. He could tell by the flirtatious comments, and for the fact that Quatre often seemed to blush whenever Jake looked at him for too long.
Whichever, he had a lot to think about if he considered ‘experimenting’ with another male, again. Things were different, now. He had a son, of whom looked up to Quatre, and he was afraid that Michael would grow attached to him in a manner that would make it hard for him to accept if Quatre ever went away. He didn’t like thinking that it would have the same effect on him the same way Jake’s and Celia’s parting had done.
It was difficult to consider such things when his son’s opinion mattered most. He couldn’t think for himself, anymore. He had to consider Michael, as well. Which is why he never brought dates homes.
... ‘Dates’...
More like one-night stands. The one girl he really liked had met Michael, and the boy had deliberately whipped out his tiny penis and peed in her purse because she’d called him a brat when he tested her patience. After that, Michael made it his mission to ruin any more prospective ‘companions’ that he thought his father might have. He didn’t know what he did with Celia’s men, but it couldn’t be anything different.
Sighing, he finished off his bottle of water, and wondered, for the umpteenth time, what Quatre was doing tonight.
#20#20#20#20#20#20#20
Felicia frowned at the array before her, and used her spork to stab at her rice. Groaning, she thrust the plate aside and leaned on her palm, frowning at Quatre as he ate with an enthusiasm reserved for the starving. They were eating at a Jimboy’s just off NPU’s campus, and she had called him a half hour earlier, wanting to meet for lunch. When he agreed, she was more than eager to spill her guts out to him.
It was a cool Thursday afternoon, and some clouds were pulling in from the north, threatening to rain. A gusty wind had made it uncomfortable to sit outside, so the pair were sitting within, along with several other college age people that were enjoying the particularly greasy food.
“So...I was kind of thinking...Max and I are done with,” she began, watching him suddenly choke on his chicken taco. “I can’t get along with his parents, an’...it’s like, they hate me for stupid reasons. They don’t even know me. They didn’t even take the chance...they base everything off of what they read.”
“I’d run away, too.”
“Fucker. Just listen to me. Um...so...I don’t know. Just...don’t expect to see him all the time. I was thinkin’ of breakin’ up with him. Let him have the apartment. I’d just move in with Yoshida for the while...I don’t know.”
“Why would you break up with him? Just because of some troubles?” Quatre asked curiously, furrowing his brow.
Felicia shrugged, picking at her refried beans. “Janice made it clear, Quat, that I’m not good enough for her son. That I ain’t the right color, the right type. Figures. A minority tells me that my skin color ain’t good enough, even though I’m in the same basement as she is. Fucked up, ennit?”
“Yeah...But...why? I thought you...liked him.”
“I do. I did. He made me happy. He could make me feel like...what I’m supposed to be. A girl. An’...I really, really...just...I think I love him, but...I dunno. But I can’t deal with this crap, anymore. He defends me to his parents, but it’s like...how long’s that gonna last? When’s he gonna get tired of it? Y’know?”
“Yeah...If you have to, you have to. I like the guy, too, I think he’s good for you, but...if you can’t do it, then you can’t do it.”
“I know, I...shit.” Felicia stared off into the distance, then sighed, flicking at her long hair. She looked across the table at Quatre, noting the collar shirt tucked into dress slacks. She briefly wondered why he dressed so nerdy for college. Eager to change the subject, she then said, “Fuck it. This is somethin’ I should be discussing with ‘Shida when the bitch’s high. Y’know, when a person’s on drugs, they think more coherently? Ain’t that a trip? Anyway, speakin’ of trips...how’s the thing between you an’ Jake?”
“What ‘thing’?”
“Did you ask him? ‘Bout his partyin’ days?”
“Uh...yeah. But he didn’t say anything. TELL ME!” he begged, finishing off his tacos. “Is he straight? Or, just...in denial?”
Felicia grinned, and chuckled evilly, thrusting her plate aside once more. That familiar glint was back, causing her eyes to twinkle with that scary gleam she had whenever she was set on fixing somebody up. It looked like Max was forgotten for the now.
“Dude, trust me. The guy wants your ass.”
“Really? You’re not lying, are ya?”
“I’m serious. Sure, the guy’s overprotective at times, but...he seriously puts in effort for you. He normally avoids homos. But he hooks ya up with his house? With his son? Shit...betcha in a few months time, you’re gonna find yourself underneath him...”
“Don’t lie!” Quatre exclaimed, flushing at the thought.
“Ha! I’m not! Because I honestly can’t see him underneath you,” she added with a skeptical expression, sipping at her Coke.
“Not about that! I mean...do you really think so?”
“Dude, I know so. Trust me. Why would a guy take all that time and effort just ta check up on ya an’ shit? He’s crushin’ on you. You sneaky lil’ bastard, Quat,” she then added, giving him an appreciative smirk.
“I...he never lets me know.”
“Forget about that. Just up your snaggin’ moves an’ really lay it on him. ‘K? Cuz, I betcha, he’ll give in. Trust me...he ain’t that straight. Oh, no...not that guy,” she chuckled, sipping again. “Rumors were, he was involved with a guy, once. Which is why Celia started really actin’ up–you met the bitch, right? Blond? Thin? Incredibly stupid? Think Sylvia, but input some bitchiness in her...Times ten.”
“That one time in Roseville.”
“Yop. She even bitchier than Middie Une. But she knows how to play. Y’know?”
“Why do you think he’s...”
“He never confirmed it. But...he...it was obvious. Hautta got the impression that Jake really liked this one guy he was friends with. ‘Course, bulimic-boy was all scuzzed out, cuz he hates homos, and I think his reaction scared Jake straight again.”
“...That doesn’t confirm anything.”
“Yeah...it does. To me. Plus, don’t you see him checking out the guys more than the girls? C’MON! Don’t TELL me you haven’t noticed THAT!”
“Well, NO! I haven’t!”
Felicia threw her hands up in exasperation. “GOD! You’re so fuckin’ blond!”
“So?”
“Fuck, if I can notice it a mile away, then you can! Watch him! When he’s out in public, with a lot of people, watch him!”
“He has those sunglasses of his!”
“...Christ. I hate those things. You can’t ever tell. Well...he does. He checks out the male specimens...which is why I was tryin’ to hook ya’ll up that year in Roseville! He was lookin’ at you and Judicial real close!”
“...Who’s ‘Judicial’?”
“Oh, J. Jigga. Justin.”
“Why do you always give him different names?”
“He likes it. Anyway...when he plays with his earring...you know he’s up to somethin’. He does that a lot when he’s nervous.”
Quatre’s eyes widened as he recalled the older boy playing with his earring, and flushed with a sort of happy induced pleasure. Was there hope?
“That’s why I was sayin’ ya’ll had sparkles. I wouldn’t try to hook up a straight with a gay. I figure you can break down those manly walls of his, y’know?...Want my rice? I need to watch my carbs...”
“But you’ll eat those three tacos...?”
“Protein! Max ain’t gonna give me anything to swallow...”
“For some reason, it’s disgusting when you talk that way...”
“Gimme the hot sauce...so...anyway...just keep flirtin’ with him. He’ll come around. Betcha he’s tryin’ to deny himself, which reminds me–what’s the deal with the classmate?”
Quatre blinked. “What?”
“When I sent my servant to do my bidding, he said ya’ll were havin’ problems with a classmate. Who’s botherin’ you, Quat?”
He didn’t tell her about Trowa, Quatre realized, blinking once more. Well, technically...Trowa was a former classmate...and he was giving Quatre trouble...so, basically, Jake wasn’t lying when he said that. Covering both Quatre’s mistake and his own deliberate cover-up. Guys will cover for guys to avoid female wrath. Apparently, Felicia was female in Jake’s point of view.
He shook his head. “Uh...just a...classmate that’s getting shitty. Um...that’s all. I don’t want to lose my scholarship.”
“This ain’t another Jared relationship thing, is it?”
“...NO.”
“Why don’t you wanna tell me? C’mon! I’ve been your friend longer than him!” she complained, sinking her teeth into a ground beef taco.
“Just...it’s covered. I mean...way covered. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to...y’know. Lose my scholarship.”
“...Whatever. Anyway...so...how’s the thing with Tro-Tro? Ya’ll get in contact? I can’t remember if you did, or not.”
“Yeah. We talked a few times.” Which was basically true. They had talked before having sex. He flushed with remembrance.
“He and Sylvia gettin’ loved up? Married?”
“I don’t...I don’t think so.”
“It’s safe to talk like that, right? I mean...you ain’t likin’ him again, are you?”
“No...no, I’m not,” Quatre said, realizing that it was true. He liked Trowa–just more as a friend than anything else.
“Good. Cuz I think Jake’s better for you. Slaps your ass in line. Plus, you don’t act so childish anymore. He made ya into a man...almost.”
Quatre laughed, and kicked her underneath the table. “Shut up!”
She chuckled, doctoring her taco with a whole packet of Jimboy’s hot sauce, then giving the greasy food an appreciative stare. “Well...really...once you get down to it, Quat, Jake is the one for you. He just needs to be reminded.”
“Hmm..”
“Lady Marmalade” Missy Elliot, Christina Aguliera, Pink, Mya and Lil’Kim
Quatre laid quietly on the couch in the small living room, listening to the sounds of the city from the open window nearby. There was a stale air flowing through, barely enough to keep him cool, so he was laying out in his shorts with no shirt or socks. His mind kept running over Trowa. He couldn’t help but feel this way–it was odd. He didn’t give cheating so much thought when he’d messed around with Justin...but perhaps that situation had been wholly different. After all, in the end, it came to light that Trowa had cheated on him, so it was a slightly even situation. That one he hadn’t given as much guilt to, but he remembered most of what he’d felt.
It was a very delicate subject, and the more he pondered over it, the less it started to feel like it had. Jake was right, in a way–if Sylvia didn’t know, nothing could be helped. She should be more angry at Trowa than at him.
But then again, he was the one that let Trowa in, and he was the other...uh, sex partner, so...he was just as at fault as Trowa was.
It was quiet at three thirty a.m., and both father and son had retreated to the back bedroom hours ago. The light from outside drifted in through the vertical blinds, allowing him just enough light to see, as the living room and surrounding areas were covered in darkness.
Mike had worn himself out on one of the Halo offsprings. It felt good, in a way, that the little boy liked him. It was unconditional and straight-out, with no games. The boy simply liked him because he was a fun playmate to have. Quatre felt sorry for the boy, though, because it was evident that things were climbing onto his rather thin shoulders. Jake was silently seething over the fact that Mike was beginning to stutter his words, and that he seemed more unruly than usual. He quietly blamed the custody battle, and Quatre realized just how petty his own situation was.
While he was moping about ex-sex, his friend was in danger of losing his son. In that sense, he resolved to keep his problems to the minimal, and kept his focus and attention on the boy. Cheering Mike up was easy to do–he simply acted himself and entertained the little boy’s needs. It was a small refreshment from his own life.
But it also gave him another perspective–he realized how selfish he was, focusing on rather stupid things while others were focused on things that truly mattered...
In that sort of perspective, he sought out the rationale in which he concluded his ex-sex foray with a simple: I Fucked Up, But I Need To Move On...All in all, when he thought about it a little more, he realized that it wasn’t an entirely life-altering situation. He was just going to be happy that he got some. And if Sylvia found out, well...it would be Trowa’s fault. Not his.
He heard some shouting going on outside the apartment, a group of men arguing over something, and shifted uncomfortably. He had just about resolved himself to try and get some sleep when he heard the back door open and close, and he sat up straight, turning his head to look for Jake. The older male walked in, giving him a surprised look. Yawning, he veered off course from the kitchen to sit on the other end of the couch, rubbing at his forehead. He looked over at him, frowning.
Jake realized that Quatre was still thinking about things, and that irritated him. For one, it wasn’t such a big deal. For another...it was just irritating that Quatre was spending so much time angsting over the guy.
He frowned at the condition of the living room of the heat that kept it an uncomfortable temp. The window was open, but there just wasn’t enough air circulating through. So he left the couch briefly to open the balcony door, where the voices of men crept through with a uneasy violence. But at least it felt better. He took his position back on the couch, and sighed sleepily.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked.
“No. I was just...thinking about things.”
“Oh.”
Jake yawned again, and rose from the couch. Quatre watched him go, flushing slightly as he thought about how good the other male’s butt looked in those shorts. The other prepared a cup of juice and grabbed a leftover piece of cold pizza from the fridge. Then he resumed his seat at the other end of the couch, yawning once again.
“It’s too hot,” he complained, drinking his juice. “I hate the hot weather here.”
“It is hot,” Quatre agreed.
“Wanna drink?”
“No. Um...I was...kinda wondering about things, and...you know, I really want to thank you for being a friend. Y’know? It’s kind of confusing about those things, and...”
“Don’t even sweat it. It’s cool. Just quit thinking about things too much. Yeah, you fucked up with someone that you shouldn’t. Just chalk it up to whatever and move on. When his girl finds out, he’s gonna be the one in trouble, anyway. ‘Course, she’s gonna blame you, too, but her man was the one doin’ the chasin’...right?”
“Yeah....heh. I guess.” Quatre picked at his knee, and shrugged. He felt a little too aware of himself being shirtless. He didn’t want any comment made on his body, and held himself hunched over, as if giving Jake less of a chance to observe him. Not that he would want to... “Um...what’s going to happen? I mean, with Mike?”
Jake frowned thoughtfully, chewing at his pizza. He shrugged. “Nothing to concern yourself over, Winner. You’d never understand. How are you going to get to school, tomorrow?”
“I can...walk. It’s not that far.”
“Thirty blocks?”
“Yeah. I mean, to my home. You’re practically just down the street...”
“We can give you a ride. I was thinkin’ of taking him to that amusement park down on Fortieth, anyway.”
“Knotts Berry?”
“Whatever it is.” Jake frowned down at the rest of his pizza, and muttered, “Christ...this is why I gained weight. Want the rest?”
“Nah.”
“When do you start training?”
“In the end of September.”
“It’s not like high school, boy. You better get yourself prepared for another slap in the face. College ball’s different. Separate gender teams. It’s more intense. You’re good, Winner, but you’re also a frosh. You’re not going to be playing immediately.” Jake shrugged. “Just so you know. They got that Foley guy running the plays, and he’s a junior.”
“I kinda figured, I mean...I wasn’t expecting high school ball.”
“Just don’t let it get you down. Do your thing. Of course, push yourself, this time. That last year, it was like, you weren’t even trying. I mean, you were, just not with the same intensity as that one year.”
“That’s what my coach said. But he suggested that I lay off the ‘physical’ activity.”
“Ha! HA! Did he? Shit...course, that could help, too. Testosterone and all that...kinda builds up, gives the male an aggressive edge...like boxing. Try it. Oh...right...you have no choice.”
“Har, har. God, you can be such a dick sometimes...”
“Take it like a man, Winner.”
“Anyway...um....I was thinking of talking to him. You know?”
“What the hell for? What the fuck’s talkin’ gonna do? It’s encouraging the motherfucker to come around. Don’t talk to him.”
“I don’t want to be childish, either! If it helps, then, I’ll do it.”
“What are you gonna say?”
“I...don’t know. Man, we had such a thing going, and–! I can’t just leave things as they are...I still want to be friends.”
Jake sighed heavily, and leaned his head back in exasperation. Quatre shifted in his position and kicked him, sending juice all over. While the other male cursed, Quatre continued with, “You have to at least understand that, man. I mean...haven’t you ever wanted that before? To be friends with someone that you had a history with?”
“...Yeah. Kinda. But it don’t always work out.”
“...Is that how it was with Celia?”
“Quit tryin’ to change the subject, Winner. If you wanna do it, then don’t cry around when it backfires. All right?”
“‘K.”
“Now...I need to go back to bed. But...um...I...was wondering. Are you–are you still good for that offer in babysitting?”
“You...got a date?” Quatre asked uneasily, frowning at how disappointed his tone sounded. Jake must have caught it, but all he did was lift an eyebrow and shift apprehensively.
“No, but I’d like to go out. I could find one then. I mean, you don’t have to, but–”
“Just let me know.”
Jake frowned at him, but shrugged. He rose from the couch, setting his cup on the counter. “‘K. Night.”
“Good night.”
When he heard the other door open and close, Quatre sighed uneasily, resting his chin upon his knees. Jake was a good friend and all, but why did he have to be so good-looking? And straight?
#20#20#20#20#20#20#20
That Tuesday night, Jake had just gotten home, feeling a little tired from his ‘Monday’ at work. With the hot weather brought hot-headed people, and dealing with them had been truly taxing. His apartment was stifling hot, so he opened up what windows he felt like opening, and took a shower. It was nearly twelve a.m., so he sat on the couch and relaxed with a bottle of water, catching up on the news during a late night newscast. Growing tired of all the drama New Park had to offer, he turned to stare out the window, hearing the voices of people having a party, and smelling late night barbeque.
He wondered what Quatre was up to. Thinking about him made him feel a little funny, in that he was constantly thinking of him. Whether it was because he was wondering what he was up to, or about what he had said or done. It made him distinctively uncomfortable in that he was growing attached to the guy. Thinking about him in this way made him nervous.
It caused him to reflect, his mind drifting off back to his high school days...
It was a hot summer’s night, and instead of sticking around home with Celia and their baby, he had taken off for a party with some pals on the West Side. Though he felt a little guilty that he’d left Celia alone, he was assuring himself that he’d only have a couple of drinks and then head back, to help out with one the late-night feedings.
But he lost track of time, and found himself sitting on one of the various piers on the harbor, watching the sun come up. A half-empty bottle of beer beside him, he wasn’t really sober as he admired the colors of the morning sky. He heard footsteps behind him, and glanced over his shoulder, expecting a cop or something of the sort, and saw Darren Westminer staggering over. The twenty-five year old was ten years older than him, a constant partier, a current transient, but filled with some maturity that Jake envied. He had five kids with different women, and was never very reliable. But he had a personality that was fun to relate to, and was always armed with a laugh or comment.
Jake had met the older boy at a party, and for some reason, Darren had attached himself to him; always joking, always playing, and there was a sense of comfort in him that had Jake relaxing himself around him. Darren always made sure to scold and cuss him out for not being there for Celia, but Jake only had to point out that he was doing the same thing to his women, and Darren usually shut up.
But...things were quite well between them, and they had been progressively so in the last few days.
Darren sat himself down next to him, looking down at the bluish-green water below his worn shoes. He reeked of alcohol and body odor, but that was normal for him. All Jake had to do was concentrate on other things, so he sipped at his beer and continued to watch the sun rise.
“You know,” Darren slurred, looking in his direction. He would have been attractive–but he had not shaved for a few days, his hair was a mess, and there was dried vomit on his shirt. His skin color was the shade of coffee, his black features prominently mixed with a sort of Asian quality. He had really nice green eyes that often twinkled with amusement. “For someone like you...you’re actually pretty cute.”
Jake sputtered his beer, getting it all over his clothing.
“I’d do you if I were sober,” Darren continued. “But I probably got whiskey dick, anyway.”
“That’s just WRONG! Fuck! What the fuck are you talkin’ about? You’re fucking messed up, man... don’t say that kinds of shit to me...I didn’t know you were fuckin’ gay...”
“I ain’t. Really. Just when...I drink? I kinda see things in a different perspective. Say, have you slept with a man, before?”
“NO! No, and I don’t plan on it! That’s just fuckin’ gross!”
“Dude, you’re not seeing the whole issue,” Darren insisted in a drunken slur, leaning forward. Jake pulled his head back, the stench from the other man making his eyes water. “Sleeping with a man...it’s like...”
“Sex up the ass!”
“Yeah, but the sensation...things are different. You see things differently. You know? Sleeping with a man, something of your equal...you’re pitted with someone that has as much strength as you. You’re sleeping with someone that can knock your teeth in, yet give you the best blow a woman hasn’t...sleeping with a man is all about power and seduction. Nothin’ makes a man like sleeping with one...”
“Ugh...go away...”
“Think about it, Jakie. Think about that when you’re on top of your woman. You ever do anal with her?”
“You’re stepping out of line, fucker...”
“Think about a man when you’re in that position. Think about...think about what it would be like if you were with a man. Seein’ strong back muscles, feeling them give when you get up there, seein’, feeling the hair on their legs...uhn...I think...”
“I’m out of here!” Jake said hurriedly, getting up from the edge of the pier, and hurrying off. He glanced back over his shoulder at Darren, who looked to be in the action of jerking off. Wincing, he hurried out of the area, and found a taxi.
When he arrived home, Celia was armed with a half-full canister of formula that she threw at him, screaming at him in rage, because Michael had cried all night. That fight merged into the same old scene that he was familiar with, and it took a couple of weeks before he managed to escape once more into the city, to party.
He was starting to feel extreme guilt, now, after spending time with his new son. Michael was really the funniest thing...he was brought into the world at 6 pounds, and 19 inches, and he had the funniest face that reddened whenever he messed his diapers. Thinking about things like that–feeding him, changing his diaper, giving him a bath, realizing he spit up all over his school clothes–made him wonder what was so good about partying. Why was he doing it?
Sure, Celia wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, especially when she was overweight, tired, and despised the fact that she couldn’t leave the apartment because she didn’t want to be seen. But why take it out on Michael by partying? He was just a baby...an innocent baby...
He was drowning his sorrows in a beer at some guy’s house, watching Dave Chapelle, and hearing people of various sexes in the kitchen around the corner. They were all playing some sort of poker game, and he was too drunk to keep his money from being won, so he had decided on letting the funny man amuse him.
Darren walked in, looking decidedly cleaner than he had the last time they talked. Jake shifted uncomfortably in his seat, frowning at the older boy with a sense of unease as Darren sat down on the same couch. Someone shrieked in outrage, and glass shattered. As laughter erupted, Darren looked over at him, and grinned.
“What’s this shit? Don’t you have a kid to be with?”
“Don’t you?”
“They got good mommas, kid. They don’t need a nobody like me.”
“Same here...”
“Your baby’s momma’s evil, bitch. Probably, if you leave her again, she’d pull a Yates.”
“Huh? What?”
“Never mind. Far before your time, probably. Look...I’m just saying...you don’t need to be out here. You got some hope for ya. Stop your drinking and partying, and go back to school.”
“I am in school. I’m playing ball for the team this year,” Jake answered in scoffing admission, frowning at him. “Coach let me know he wanted me on his team.”
“Good, good...so...did you think about what I said...?”
“Huh? About...about what...?”
“You know.”
“No.”
“About sleeping with men.”
“Ugh...NO! No, why would I think about that? I ain’t fuckin’ gay. I have a woman! I’m happy with women! Just cuz you’re fag–!”
“Honestly, I’m not. I love a good woman from time to time, but I’m gonna be honest with you, sucka. Those guys in there? Playing those cards? They’ve had their experience with men. Initiation to gangs, friends that wanted to experiment, cultural customs...they had their experience with men. Just your culture is different.”
“Whatever...I haven’t heard of that shit.”
“Because it ain’t talked about. Betcha ten to one they all had a man at one time. Just to see what was up. Didn’t mean they were fag. Just meant they were appeasin’ their curiosity.”
“Well, I don’t have any curiosity. Got it?”
“How would you know if you didn’t try?”
“I–”
“Why don’t we try? I won’t tell anybody.”
“Dude, I’m not like that. I’m not like you. I don’t want no motherfuckin’ man!”
“C’mon,” Darren said, leaning forward, grinning.
Jake moved to get up when the older male pulled him back down, and covered his body with his. In an earnest struggle, Jake cursed him, kicking and hitting, feeling tremendously mortified that some guy was attacking him. He didn’t want to call for help, certain that the others would laugh and call him a fag.
Darren settled his weight over him, and pinned his wrists down, keeping Jake down on the couch. Darren made shushing sounds, adjusting his position so that he was straddling the other boy’s hips. When he was certain Jake was subdued enough to make a move on, he lowered his head, touching his lips to the other boy’s. Jake cursed and tossed his head, but Darren moved once more, catching his lips. He pressed down with his lips, judging the other male’s reaction to the kiss.
When he realized Jake had gone still, probably in mortification and extreme rage than anything else, he softened the kiss, and placed his lips over the curved corner of his mouth. Smiling in satisfaction, Darren pulled his head up, looking down at the other male. His face had colored into a red-purple shade, and he was shaking with a demonic rage that made him a little nervous about letting him go.
Just to be sure, he placed another kiss on those cocky lips, judging the reaction from this move. He sensed nothing more, and made himself comfortable on the lighter form. Playfully, he adjusted his kisses to teasing and casual, trying to make the other boy react to them. Along this route, he really liked the way the boy felt underneath him, and wanted to try touching him. But, Jake would probably get loose and kick his ass, and he didn’t want to try it just yet.
Darren lifted his head, looking down into a confused expression, and slowly broke into a grin.
“See? Nothing bad,” he said quietly. “What do you feel?”
“I–can’t–breathe.”
“Yes, you can. Stop thinkin’ of ways to kill me, and just...tell me what you feel?”
“No, seriously–I can’t breathe.”
“I’ll kiss you again...I might even try and grope you.”
“It felt nice, all right? Get OFF!”
“‘Nice’? Just ‘nice’? Didn’t it make you want more?”
“NO!”
“I can make you want more, Jakie, m’boy. I’ve been with enough men to know what feels good. I can teach you. I can do all this...it won’t make you fag. Promise. You should just...know. Know what happens between men in the most intimate of moments. You’re a young buck, still–you can still learn. Learn to appreciate things.”
“I don’t want to–!”
Darren kissed him again, this time, flicking his tongue against the tightly closed lips. Chuckling, he ran the tip of his tongue over his lips, enjoying the flavor of beer and natural taste. He then nipped Jake’s bottom lip, and when the boy opened his mouth to give a shout, his tongue flicked in to taste the wet cavity. Of course, he barely pulled the muscle back in time, because Jake’s teeth snapped together in surprise.
Laughing, Darren let him go, and the boy socked him hard across the face, stumbling off in mortification. Darren merely laughed again, and used his cold beer bottle to ease the sure swelling on his cheek.
Of course, Jake had found himself thinking about that night a week later. Michael was wailing up a storm, and he was sure it was because he had an upset tummy. He hadn’t any clue in how to calm down the three month old, so he was holding him against his shoulder and pacing the living room floor. Celia had long since given up on comforting, wailing her own tears into the pillows of their bed.
It was odd, to be thinking about Darren’s words and actions while his son screamed in his ear. He felt troubled that he had admitted that it had felt ‘nice’. Because, in all actuality, it had. Darren had a way of kissing that made Jake wonder if that was how it felt all the time with guys. A firm press of lips, a touch of stubble, of knowing that the person he was kissing was a man, capable enough of holding him in place to place tender kisses. The contradiction was a turn-on in ways he hadn’t imagined, before.
It was weird thinking about such a thing, when he hadn’t before. It had taken Darren’s words to make him curious, and he sure as hell as wasn’t going to talk about it to anybody.
Unfortunately, Darren was arrested later that week, and had to put in a year’s worth of jail time for assault and battery against a man he was trying to mug.
In all that time, his and Celia’s fights had escalated, and he began cheating on her again, just to see if all the female race were just like her. Michael cried more than ever, and refused to be weaned from the bottle. Celia began seeing other guys, and Jake had even caught her with hickies from another guy. And, of course, he met Hautta and Felicia. So much chaos in one year had caused him to forget about Darren and his first experience with a man.
So when Darren met up with him again, at a street party one Fourth of July, it was more than awkward to face him once more. The guy had gotten rangy and had some muscle, looking a little intimidating. But...nicely male. He exuded an aura of confidence and reassurance that Jake found quite nice...after spending so much time with Celia, who depended on everyone to take care of her, and with the two supers that were equal in terms of strength, he found himself wondering all over again if being with a man would reassure him of his own strength.
Darren was on parole, but he had a beer in one hand as he walked over.
Words were exchanged, and Jake found himself an hour later, kissing and groping the guy behind someone’s tool shed. It hadn’t progressed to anything more than that, but it became somewhat of a commonplace occurrence whenever they saw each other. He was too anxious to have things progress beyond groping, and Darren was fine with it.
Then, that fall, talking to Hautta, he accidently let it slip that the hickey he had on his neck was from Darren. Of course, the alien Asian had freaked about it, declaring Jake unclean and disgusting, and had worked himself into a rage that was a little scary, considering that the alien was capable of tossing vehicles like Matchbox cars and crushing a man’s neck like a soda can.
Jake had been a little disturbed by the reaction, and had figured everyone would react in the same way. He swore to stop messing around with Darren that night, but in the end, it didn’t matter. The guy was killed in a gang-related drive-by, and his secret, as it were, was safe. He didn’t mention this experience with anyone else, and Hautta had forgotten about it, or had refused to speak about it.
Celia had somewhat of a clue, her female intuition alerting her to something fishy whenever Jake mentioned Darren’s name. But she hadn’t come straight out with any accusations, and he would deny them, anyway. That would be more fuel she could use against him.
Of course, with time, his curiosity in messing around with men had left, shriveling as he grew tired with school, work, and his hyperactive son that loved sticking things in outlets and small spaces.
And now, at present time, he had to wonder–with all that he’d experienced with Darren...would it be the same if he actually accepted Quatre’s sly advances? He knew the guy had some sort of feeling for him– it was just in the way those blue/green eyes looked at him in some moments, filled with something he thought mirrored his own looks with Darren that time ago. He could tell by the flirtatious comments, and for the fact that Quatre often seemed to blush whenever Jake looked at him for too long.
Whichever, he had a lot to think about if he considered ‘experimenting’ with another male, again. Things were different, now. He had a son, of whom looked up to Quatre, and he was afraid that Michael would grow attached to him in a manner that would make it hard for him to accept if Quatre ever went away. He didn’t like thinking that it would have the same effect on him the same way Jake’s and Celia’s parting had done.
It was difficult to consider such things when his son’s opinion mattered most. He couldn’t think for himself, anymore. He had to consider Michael, as well. Which is why he never brought dates homes.
... ‘Dates’...
More like one-night stands. The one girl he really liked had met Michael, and the boy had deliberately whipped out his tiny penis and peed in her purse because she’d called him a brat when he tested her patience. After that, Michael made it his mission to ruin any more prospective ‘companions’ that he thought his father might have. He didn’t know what he did with Celia’s men, but it couldn’t be anything different.
Sighing, he finished off his bottle of water, and wondered, for the umpteenth time, what Quatre was doing tonight.
#20#20#20#20#20#20#20
Felicia frowned at the array before her, and used her spork to stab at her rice. Groaning, she thrust the plate aside and leaned on her palm, frowning at Quatre as he ate with an enthusiasm reserved for the starving. They were eating at a Jimboy’s just off NPU’s campus, and she had called him a half hour earlier, wanting to meet for lunch. When he agreed, she was more than eager to spill her guts out to him.
It was a cool Thursday afternoon, and some clouds were pulling in from the north, threatening to rain. A gusty wind had made it uncomfortable to sit outside, so the pair were sitting within, along with several other college age people that were enjoying the particularly greasy food.
“So...I was kind of thinking...Max and I are done with,” she began, watching him suddenly choke on his chicken taco. “I can’t get along with his parents, an’...it’s like, they hate me for stupid reasons. They don’t even know me. They didn’t even take the chance...they base everything off of what they read.”
“I’d run away, too.”
“Fucker. Just listen to me. Um...so...I don’t know. Just...don’t expect to see him all the time. I was thinkin’ of breakin’ up with him. Let him have the apartment. I’d just move in with Yoshida for the while...I don’t know.”
“Why would you break up with him? Just because of some troubles?” Quatre asked curiously, furrowing his brow.
Felicia shrugged, picking at her refried beans. “Janice made it clear, Quat, that I’m not good enough for her son. That I ain’t the right color, the right type. Figures. A minority tells me that my skin color ain’t good enough, even though I’m in the same basement as she is. Fucked up, ennit?”
“Yeah...But...why? I thought you...liked him.”
“I do. I did. He made me happy. He could make me feel like...what I’m supposed to be. A girl. An’...I really, really...just...I think I love him, but...I dunno. But I can’t deal with this crap, anymore. He defends me to his parents, but it’s like...how long’s that gonna last? When’s he gonna get tired of it? Y’know?”
“Yeah...If you have to, you have to. I like the guy, too, I think he’s good for you, but...if you can’t do it, then you can’t do it.”
“I know, I...shit.” Felicia stared off into the distance, then sighed, flicking at her long hair. She looked across the table at Quatre, noting the collar shirt tucked into dress slacks. She briefly wondered why he dressed so nerdy for college. Eager to change the subject, she then said, “Fuck it. This is somethin’ I should be discussing with ‘Shida when the bitch’s high. Y’know, when a person’s on drugs, they think more coherently? Ain’t that a trip? Anyway, speakin’ of trips...how’s the thing between you an’ Jake?”
“What ‘thing’?”
“Did you ask him? ‘Bout his partyin’ days?”
“Uh...yeah. But he didn’t say anything. TELL ME!” he begged, finishing off his tacos. “Is he straight? Or, just...in denial?”
Felicia grinned, and chuckled evilly, thrusting her plate aside once more. That familiar glint was back, causing her eyes to twinkle with that scary gleam she had whenever she was set on fixing somebody up. It looked like Max was forgotten for the now.
“Dude, trust me. The guy wants your ass.”
“Really? You’re not lying, are ya?”
“I’m serious. Sure, the guy’s overprotective at times, but...he seriously puts in effort for you. He normally avoids homos. But he hooks ya up with his house? With his son? Shit...betcha in a few months time, you’re gonna find yourself underneath him...”
“Don’t lie!” Quatre exclaimed, flushing at the thought.
“Ha! I’m not! Because I honestly can’t see him underneath you,” she added with a skeptical expression, sipping at her Coke.
“Not about that! I mean...do you really think so?”
“Dude, I know so. Trust me. Why would a guy take all that time and effort just ta check up on ya an’ shit? He’s crushin’ on you. You sneaky lil’ bastard, Quat,” she then added, giving him an appreciative smirk.
“I...he never lets me know.”
“Forget about that. Just up your snaggin’ moves an’ really lay it on him. ‘K? Cuz, I betcha, he’ll give in. Trust me...he ain’t that straight. Oh, no...not that guy,” she chuckled, sipping again. “Rumors were, he was involved with a guy, once. Which is why Celia started really actin’ up–you met the bitch, right? Blond? Thin? Incredibly stupid? Think Sylvia, but input some bitchiness in her...Times ten.”
“That one time in Roseville.”
“Yop. She even bitchier than Middie Une. But she knows how to play. Y’know?”
“Why do you think he’s...”
“He never confirmed it. But...he...it was obvious. Hautta got the impression that Jake really liked this one guy he was friends with. ‘Course, bulimic-boy was all scuzzed out, cuz he hates homos, and I think his reaction scared Jake straight again.”
“...That doesn’t confirm anything.”
“Yeah...it does. To me. Plus, don’t you see him checking out the guys more than the girls? C’MON! Don’t TELL me you haven’t noticed THAT!”
“Well, NO! I haven’t!”
Felicia threw her hands up in exasperation. “GOD! You’re so fuckin’ blond!”
“So?”
“Fuck, if I can notice it a mile away, then you can! Watch him! When he’s out in public, with a lot of people, watch him!”
“He has those sunglasses of his!”
“...Christ. I hate those things. You can’t ever tell. Well...he does. He checks out the male specimens...which is why I was tryin’ to hook ya’ll up that year in Roseville! He was lookin’ at you and Judicial real close!”
“...Who’s ‘Judicial’?”
“Oh, J. Jigga. Justin.”
“Why do you always give him different names?”
“He likes it. Anyway...when he plays with his earring...you know he’s up to somethin’. He does that a lot when he’s nervous.”
Quatre’s eyes widened as he recalled the older boy playing with his earring, and flushed with a sort of happy induced pleasure. Was there hope?
“That’s why I was sayin’ ya’ll had sparkles. I wouldn’t try to hook up a straight with a gay. I figure you can break down those manly walls of his, y’know?...Want my rice? I need to watch my carbs...”
“But you’ll eat those three tacos...?”
“Protein! Max ain’t gonna give me anything to swallow...”
“For some reason, it’s disgusting when you talk that way...”
“Gimme the hot sauce...so...anyway...just keep flirtin’ with him. He’ll come around. Betcha he’s tryin’ to deny himself, which reminds me–what’s the deal with the classmate?”
Quatre blinked. “What?”
“When I sent my servant to do my bidding, he said ya’ll were havin’ problems with a classmate. Who’s botherin’ you, Quat?”
He didn’t tell her about Trowa, Quatre realized, blinking once more. Well, technically...Trowa was a former classmate...and he was giving Quatre trouble...so, basically, Jake wasn’t lying when he said that. Covering both Quatre’s mistake and his own deliberate cover-up. Guys will cover for guys to avoid female wrath. Apparently, Felicia was female in Jake’s point of view.
He shook his head. “Uh...just a...classmate that’s getting shitty. Um...that’s all. I don’t want to lose my scholarship.”
“This ain’t another Jared relationship thing, is it?”
“...NO.”
“Why don’t you wanna tell me? C’mon! I’ve been your friend longer than him!” she complained, sinking her teeth into a ground beef taco.
“Just...it’s covered. I mean...way covered. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to...y’know. Lose my scholarship.”
“...Whatever. Anyway...so...how’s the thing with Tro-Tro? Ya’ll get in contact? I can’t remember if you did, or not.”
“Yeah. We talked a few times.” Which was basically true. They had talked before having sex. He flushed with remembrance.
“He and Sylvia gettin’ loved up? Married?”
“I don’t...I don’t think so.”
“It’s safe to talk like that, right? I mean...you ain’t likin’ him again, are you?”
“No...no, I’m not,” Quatre said, realizing that it was true. He liked Trowa–just more as a friend than anything else.
“Good. Cuz I think Jake’s better for you. Slaps your ass in line. Plus, you don’t act so childish anymore. He made ya into a man...almost.”
Quatre laughed, and kicked her underneath the table. “Shut up!”
She chuckled, doctoring her taco with a whole packet of Jimboy’s hot sauce, then giving the greasy food an appreciative stare. “Well...really...once you get down to it, Quat, Jake is the one for you. He just needs to be reminded.”
“Hmm..”