Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Prisoner of War ❯ Contemplation ( Chapter 9 )

Note: I don't own Gundam Wing sadly and 1+2+1. The rest of my note was in chapter six. Hope you like!

Chapter Nine

"Gundam," Heero had pronounced the word in the same passionless manner as before to answer the braided boy's casual inquisition, not knowing the impact those words would create.

The very word crushed the comfortable world that Duo had weaved and escaped to for the last day, disillusioning himself to the ideal of peace. It was more than evident to the two, youthful soldiers that they were back in reality, exposed to lethal trepidation, caught in the midst of a bloody war. Reluctant to extricate the last shard of peace, Duo released a soft sigh he didn't know that the young pilot had heard. `At least this time I'm not alone anymore.' His elfin features were graced with a small smile at the minor victory achieved by thinking of the icy companion next to his figure.

It was incredibly ironic how he viewed the impassive, perfect soldier, whom had taken him prisoner no less, as a friend. From the first instant deep orchid pools clashed unexpectedly with glacier, dark blue, Duo felt drawn to the quiet boy. There was this air of danger and mystery shrouding the Japanese soldier that had drawn him like a moth to a flame. He quickly learned that first appearances can be deceiving to say the least. The boy seemed to soften a bit in an unanticipated way towards Duo. Perhaps he was simply misleading himself, but why would he care? The violet-eyed soldier could almost sense an inner yearning from Heero, a secret loneliness. The idea that there was a place no one could reach within the boy was certain. It was something Duo himself understood all too well.

He was no fool. The braided joker knew to form true friendships when the world was in a state of war was a painful game. Too many had fallen victim to the hardships. Everyone Duo had cared for was somehow hurt while he remained completely untouched. `I was the one that didn't deserve to be alive, yet everyone around me that did deserve it had died.' In war, you can only trust in your own abilities. He told himself that no one needed him, and he didn't need anyone.

When he had met Heero, he couldn't help but desire his camaraderie and trust. Somehow, in the little, subtle gestures that fragile tentacles of outreaching friendship ignored his mind's protests. They reach out to the Japanese pilot in silent coaxes. Remarkably they were not pushed away no were they accepted. They were noticed and pointedly ignored for the time being. This man was a loner no doubt without friends or anyone that cared for him or that he cared for. It was more than the challenge of unmasking this cold soldier. Somehow in the inner recesses of his mind, he knew something more about both of them.

"Why do you fight?" Duo suddenly questioned, breaking a lengthy silence. His blue violet gaze locked on the fighter.

"It's why I am alive," replied the dark-haired boy with the same monotonous way he had acted most of the time. `I will not be affected by Duo anymore. He is not to be trusted and a risk as an ally or enemy.'

Puzzlement shone in amethyst orbs though their owner doubted the other had even bothered to notice the change. "What do you mean?"

"I am trained to be a soldier, and the purpose of soldiers is to fight and follow orders," every indication his body language and tone represented betrayed no feeling, no resentment, dislike, ardor, nothing.

`How can someone be so cold? You are so different from me… Are you even alive? Are you human?' "Even if you think they are wrong? That there's a better way to accomplish them?" the braided one settled for those simple questions.

"It is not my place to question the orders I receive," he explained plainly. "It wouldn't matter."

"You are entitled to an opinion, you know?" Duo frowned deeply at his responses.

"That would require emotional influence."

"So?"

"You are a soldier, Duo. You should know to never question your orders and know that emotions are simply liabilities that must be eliminated," detached responses.

"You are a soldier, too," Duo reminded him. His arm had disentangled itself from the gundam pilot somewhere along the way. When? He could not remember. "If you understand emotions, you could predict an enemy's next move. You know that your goal is to end this war. If you can achieve it faster, you would be held responsible to take that method. Didn't Dr.-" Duo caught himself. If Heero had heard the slip, he gave no indication. "He or she," he corrected, "tell you that?"

"Hai," a curt replied followed.

"What would you do then?" the fighter pilot's ears strained to hear the answer in anticipation.

There was a moment of brief irresolution before the words slipped from his tongue, "Whichever way presents the least consequences and jeopardy for civilians."

Duo dared not smile for he feared what a satisfied reaction would cause, "Were you told that in your training?"

"Iie," he admitted slowly.

"Then-" his retort was cut short.

"There are some things that you would have to rely on pure instinct on, when factual statistics are not available," for the first time since their abrupt departure, Prussian blue turned to confront the normally rude joker.

"The people told you that," though intended as a question, it sounded more like a statement. "And your instinct is to protect them?"

"It is the goal," Heero answered, slowing down the pair's steady progress as they approached their destination. `A fourth of a mile left.'

"I think it's more than that," Duo blurted out. Dread flooded his mind as soon as those words were spoken. `And I tried to be so careful about asking him this stuff, too! Maybe he'll still answer my questions. There's so much more I want to know about you, Heero. You can surprise me, get perilously close to me. I want you to feel afraid-like you have made me feel when you somehow get pass my defenses… How can Death be afraid?' He did not regret his statement, however.

"You do not know me, Two," Heero used Duo's former alias.

"You don't know yourself," he shot him a lopsided grin despite how serious he was. `Too late to go back to being careful.'

"The only thing I need to know is that I am a soldier," he replied frigidly.

"And when the war ends?"

"……" silent contemplation.

"I guess you will know when you get there, huh?" Duo laughed softly, attempting to dispel the tension that hung so thickly in the air. "You know, someone in my past told me something. The only way to live a good life is to act on your emotions," purple orbs saw a slight stiffening.

"I was once told that as well," even quieter than usual, Heero remembered those words. The person that had spoken them did not know where Heero would be today. The person was not very different than the one that stood besides him at the present moment, granting him almost the same kind of smile. `But no one smiles quite like Duo does.'

"Do you have emotions to follow?" amethyst eyes gazed into his own, searching them thought it seemed as if they already knew.

"I cannot."

"Will you ever?"

"I don't expect to live to see the day."

"And if you do?"

"I-don't know…"

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There! That's all I'm doing for one night. I'm rushing through this, so I hope no one minds/cares ^_^ Chapter eleven kind of finally explains the whole "vanished past" ordeal. That sounds really corny, but hey! Bye!