Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Random Insanity Rocks ❯ Random insanity rocks part 6 ( Chapter 6 )

Part 6 Random insanity rocks

Quatre Smurf hadn't moved since Jarred and Dalen Smurf muses had vanished. He'd sat up there on a little red lump of something or other squishy stuff; quite happily watching everyone else deal with Relena and Dorothy.

"Hmm." Quatre thought quietly to himself as he watched Dorothy wandering about the place in her leather gear and he shuddered. "God, Duo's week old unwashed underwear appeals to me more. Although," he continued talking to himself, "I can envisage many uses for that whip of hers. Must remember to steal it from her before we get out of this place." He looked around for a safe place to climb down and promptly landed on his butt. "Smurfing heck. That Smurfing hurt. I swear when I see that Ryouga Smurf person I'm going to give her a piece of my Smurfing mind."

"Now now, Quatre, you shouldn't talk about any of your authoress' like that. I mean you never know what we'll do to you next. Don't forget we can control Dorothy. Isn't that right DSM?"

DSM nodded evilly.

Quatre Smurf turned around from his position on the floor and sweatdropped. "Ahh, I see you guys found me then?"

DSM rolled her eyes, "Really, you think so? God Quatre you really are the epitome of blonde aren't you?"

Quatre blinked. "Bitch!"

DSM glared at him. "What did you just say?"

Quatre sweatdropped more. Obviously, that was the wrong thing to say. He scratched himself all over, "Erm I said itch, damn it, I itch all over."

"You better have or else, "She pointed in the general direction of where the leather clad, unlustful loser, with really bad taste in apparel was last seen.

Quatre swallowed and snuggled up to Trowa; who had wandered slowly away from Chibi Mina without her seeing, and glomped onto his love.

Ryouga grinned and addressed the unruly bunch before her. "Right you lot, there is one question that's plaguing all of our little minds I guess, so I'm just gonna come right out and ask... Which of you bastards is responsible for our untimely predicament?"

The G-boys all pointed at Duo except Duo who was pointing at Wu Fei, who promptly turned Duo's hand back to point at himself.

"Heyyy, I did nothing I tell you, nothing," he protested

"I believe you Duo!" ShenLong said rather sweetly.

"You would!" DSM mumbled rolling her eyes.

"He he, thanks sugar," the Smurfy Shinigami grinned as he and Shen both ignored the unimpressed fangirl. She would rather be molesting a certain Saiyuki fellow than be a bloody Smurf.

"Well then?" Wu Fei asked, "Which of you onnas was responsible for our dilemma."

Standing tall, Ryouga puffed out her chest.

"Holy Humpty dog!" DSM said shielding her eyes," There's no need to bring out the heavy artillery there baka neko."

"MYAAAH," Ryouga screeched with a blush," Leave my ... *artillery* out of this.

Duo snickered madly, "Well you're the one standing with your booby thingies sticking out like a...."

"I am not! I was just trying to look, to look..."

"Like an idiot." DSM finished

Ryouga pouted folding her arms.

ShenLong sighed and shook her head.

"Now, now children," Chibi Mina scolded, "That's enough." She nodded at Wu Fei, giving him the go ahead to try again.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by extremely bad, and very amateur Duo impersonators."

Duo glared.

Wu Fei continued. "Which of you onnas was responsible for our dilemma?"

All eyes and fingers turned towards DSM who promptly turned away, pointing upwards. "OOOHHH, look... preettttyyy treeeeeeeee."

Chibi Mina promptly got out her Sanzo fan and thwapped the unsuspecting fangirl. "Baka Saru..." (Stupid monkey)

DSM pulled a face.

It was then that a wild screeching laugh echoed from the forest behind them and everyone froze.

Ryouga glanced at Quatre; Quatre glanced at Ryouga, "DOROTHY…" A slight pause reigned in their midst.

"Nigeruuuuuu………." (run) Ryouga cried sharply and grabbing the unsuspecting blonde Smurf by the hand, she dragged him off, running away in the opposite direction of the evil screech.

"That's it! " DSM coughed and spluttered, as the dust settled, "No more frigging Trigun for her for a month."

"Or him," Duo smirked.

"That's the least of our problems, " Trowa pointed as the bushes parted and the forked eyebrowed beast came into view, "It's back and uglier than ever!"

Duo blinked, "I don't think you can get much uglier than that?"

Wu Fei sighed, "Well, whether we like it or not, I'm afraid the authoress' have placed both her and Relena in this fic of unmentionable and ridiculous insanity; so no matter what, we're stuck with them until we get out of here."

Heero glared, Duo shuddered, and DSM snickered at all the wonderfully evil things she knew she would be able to do using Dorothy and Relena as her scapegoats. Now she felt a little better.

Luckily for Dorothy, she chose to chase after Quatre and Ryouga.

"Du Du," Baby Usagi chan Smurf cooed.

Heero glanced down at the tiny Smurf as it clung to his lover's braid. "You seem to have a growth still attached to your braid Duo."

"Heh, Yeah. I've nick named it secret weapon number one," he grinned. "The anti Relena force field."

Heero nodded."Maybe I could borrow it sometime then, " he grinned reaching down to pat the little smurfling on the head.

"Not the Du Du, not the Du Du." It said excitedly pulling a large frying pan out of thin air and promptly thwapped Heero on the head with a frying pan.

Heero hit the floor little Wing Zeros flying around his head

DSM snickered, "Now that's my kind of smurfling!"

Duo gently pulled the smurfling from behind him, "No… bad baby, bad. Heero nice, Heero sweet, Heero sexy, Heero…"

"We get the idea Maxwell," Wu Fei interjected.

Baby Usagi chan Smurf blinked, giggled and thwapped him too.

Wu Fei fell to the floor with a thud.

Duo grinned, "Now that's justice."

DSM snickered, "Ooh look little Shenlongs floating around his head, just like Heero's Wing Zeros

ShenLong looked down at the 05 Smurf and blinked, "What I'm where?"

"Not you ShenLong, Shenlong… Shenlong. Nataku Shenlong… ShenLong."

ShenLong scratched her head, "Ok…… Now I am confused."

"Heh not as much as I am!" Ryouga said returning with a worn out Quatre.

"What happened to him?" Chibi Mina inquired.

ShenLong sighed and rolled her eyes. "Ryouga + sugar = hyperness." She held her hand out. "Hand it over woman!"

Ryouga blinked, feigning innocence, "Err... hand what over?"

"Do you want the glare?" ShenLong asked in a menacing tone.

Ryouga immediately slipped her hand into her pockets, pulled out countless numbers of little sugar bags and pouted as she begrudgingly handed them over. "I was saving them," she whined.

"So…" Trowa began, "How do we get back to our own timeframes?"

Everyone except the two grounded pilot Smurfs looked over at Ryouga who promptly sweatdropped, "Why are you all staring at me for? I'm not the only maniac authoress around here with ideas for this absurdness. She's involved too…" She pointed firmly at DSM. "She was the one who had to go and waffle on about Trowa smirking. It was NOT my fault I thought she said Smurf…"

DSM threw Ryouga her best Hisoka, Yami No Matsuei glare.

"Buuuuut it was all my idea… Yes mine." She backed away slowly until she edged up against Trowa's chest.

Trowa stepped back and watched Ryouga tip over backwards before landing on the floor

"Owieeeeee, my bum bum, ittaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii……….." She glared at Trowa, "Bastard!"

Trowa continued on as if nothing had happened. "What I want to know is why you were discussing my facial expressions in the first place?"

DSM strolled casually up to him until her face was close to his…. "Because… We're squee-ish fangirls and it's our prerogative, got that tall, dark and silent?"

Trowa refused to budge, the stare was a dead lock; face to face, eye to eye. Trowa threw a sideways glance towards Quatre and sighed, "Forgive me my love, but this means nothing…" he began and then grabbing DSM twirled her around, bent her backwards and smooched her.

Quatre glared, Duo gagged. ShenLong and Ryouga blinked. Chibi Mina fell over.

DSM blushed bright red and then regaining a little composure; slapped him. "Don't you ever do that again," she growled…. "Well, at least not in public."

"Talk about surprising the enemy," Quatre commented, "Not to mention your lover…"

"Sorry Quatre, but she had it coming."

"If that's how he teaches you a lesson," Chibi Mina began quite excitedly, "Then drag me out of bed before eleven and put me down for classes.

Trowa raised and eyebrow but Quatre got in first, "Forget it honey, he just retired!"

Chibi Mina pouted. "Damn!"

"Errr excuse me… " Duo said waving his hand in the air, but we need to find out exactly where we are and then get out of here."

"Well DUH!!.. Helloooo Duo haven't you noticed at all yet, but we're Smurfs, does that give you an idea of where we are buta boy?"

"Buta boy?" Duo questioned.

"Pig boy," Heero translated as he crawled up from off of the ground.

"Sheesh, bitch. Big words for such a little Smurfy looking thing."

"Look who's talking chin chin atama."

"Heeeey… now I know that one!" Duo growled, "And that's not very nice… calling me a dickhead!" he pouted.

"Hmm should've called you a Manko instead then." Ryouga smirked.

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but a little pussy never hurt anyone, except for the fact that we're gay," Duo grinned.

Ryouga sweatdropped.

ShenLong grinned. "Duo one, Ryouga none."

Wu Fei had finally come back to consciousness, Quatre helped him up and taking advantage of the timely interruption, Ryouga changed the subject. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Wu Fei,"

"Land of the lost, more like it," Duo grinned.

"Silence, you foolish onnas," The Chinese Gundam pilot-come-Smurf dusted himself down, "This situation is getting somewhat out of control. I suggest we start looking for shelter. It will be nightfall soon and we have no idea as to what is out here in the open!"

Duo smirked cheekily, "Four squee-ish fan girls, five gay Gundam pilots,"

"Four," Wu Fei corrected

"Fine, four gay Gundam pilots, one straight Gundam pilot, one psychotic underdressed whore, a manic love sick Vice Minister… a pan wielding smurfling …."

"And a partridge in a pear tree." Quatre sang quite happily.

Everyone fell over.

TBC……….