Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Real You ❯ Real You, pt. 2 ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Real You, part 2
Rating: PG, mostly 'cause… I don't read that much G myself… and there's one… death threat! Guess. Ooh, and in part 2, there's a cuss word. No, really!
Warnings: blatantly states shounen ai (1+2, 2+?), contemplative first-person, suicidal thoughts
Notes: A little different this time. I did use two names. Whatever works. Words for Edwin McMain, "Grind Me in the Gears."
Feedback: lil.dreamer@excite.com or review at ff.n.


He sits over there all the time, just watching us. Why can't they see that? They don't notice how his eyes focus just above the pages he turns, or how his cryptic comments are amazingly appropriate for whatever the rest of us have been doing.
So, friend, they don't know you either.
For some reason, though, I don't think you care.
Need something to observe? Sure ya do. It's way too quiet here tonight. Hm… Ah-ha!
For the words that might escape
Are ringing in my ears
"Hey, Wu-man, whatcha doin'?" No, really? That's not your name? Color me shocked.
What, I can't be sarcastic?
Ah, but exercise is good for the soul. Mine feels so much fresher now. Lesse, how many laps can we do tonight… 4… 5… 6…
Great. We've picked up a third. He's trying to keep me from getting killed, I guess. "It's all fun and games 'til someone loses an eye," he says. You know what? We've got this under control. If anyone loses an eye, it's either gonna be him or because of him. We happen to like our stress relief.
It grinds me to a pulp
Grinds me in the gears
I know he "cares," but boys will be boys, ne? And boys like us have lots of aggression to work out.
Hey, now, I'm humiliating myself for you! No wandering off into your own thoughts!
My psychic messages aren't drawing him back. I can… Ok, kind of obvious, but it'll work. I'll slow down a little, let 'em catch me.
"Yipes!" Ok, that kinda hurt. Didn't think he'd pull my braid that hard. Not trying that one again.
Oh, hello.
Hm… They're pooped. I apologize, we call a truce.
My frozen spirit aches
I slip another day
He's right. Sitting still gives you time to think. I don't like to think.
Memories and ghosts have a way of finding you when you're still.
Some of them believe in revenge.
Start to lose my grip
Gotta find something to do. Is that concern I see in your eyes, friend? Hey, you know me. I'll figure it out.
Only one person hasn't been brought into our games tonight. I know how he feels about me. He's… a tentative friend, but that's all. I don't see him the same way. Doesn't mean I have to ignore him, though.
Find another way
…
You'd think he'd have some kind of revelation, something that would fill him in on one of those basic facts of life: Treat your enemies with respect and your friends with… I don't remember the phrase, but I know it's nicer than pulling a gun on a teammate.
And that hurts. To know someone has some kind of feelings for you, but is so screwed up he'd pull a gun on you when you talk to him.
I didn't even say anything off-color or out-of-place, just tried to talk.
I look around the room. Three pairs of pissed off eyes are focused on him: one because of friendship, one in concern, one who feels protective…
One who knows what I do when I sit alone and think.
Been awhile since I was in that position. It's been awhile since he's let me be in that position. And it's his fault I think I'm falling in love with him. This sounds like some kind of bad fiction, but it's my life.
For the life that might escape
Has been echoing for years
I promised him that I wouldn't touch the shoebox of blades in my bag; he let me keep them. Even knowing they're there makes me feel better. But until the urge to cut goes away, until I'm calm enough that I don't want to see rivers of my own blood run out, I think I should stay around them. Even him.
You know what, screw you, Heero Yuy.
It grinds me to a pulp
Grind me in the gears

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O_o Wha? Totally not where I was going… But that's ok, 'cause I hadn't planned more than the chase scene for this one. LOL I guess I'm stuck writing another part to this considering the info I added… It'll be a little while, though.