Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Reasons to be Queen ❯ Sharing ( Chapter 6 )

Reasons5

Reasons to be Queen 5/?

Sunlight warmed his cheek, warmed the sheet laying over him, making it smell impossibly white and like some commercial airing during some happy little kids' show. Duo half expected bluebirds to be singing outside, but he thought, sorting through his various senses, there was something wrong. It was warm, smelled sweet, way too clean, with a slight scent of flowers. He could hear someone breathing next to him, sleeping maybe, slow easy breaths, too relaxed, probably Quatre. His mouth wasn't dry, lips weren't sore. In fact, nothing was sore. He felt really good. Not bad for having been as fucked up as he knew he'd been when he went to sleep. And wow, then he remembered kissing Heero.

He replayed the kiss in his memory, and he couldn't find what made it so special. Heero's trembling lips, tongues and coppery blood between them, but it wasn't like any kiss he'd ever had. He didn't understand. A kiss was a kiss. The mechanics were something he knew as well as hydraulics and photon disruptors. This kiss with Heero touched him someplace deep, made him feel white and clean and like he was only seventeen. Heero's kiss was the one he thought he'd never have, the one that was too good for him.

"Duo?"

It was Quatre, sounding so sweet and concerned. Duo blinked in the darkness and squeezed Quatre's hand. "Hey, Kat. Where are we?:"

"We're on Oahu. A little bit outside of Honolulu. Heero and Relena will be here in an hour or so. The war is over, Duo. They created a successful coup."

"It's over? Really over?" Duo sat up, both hands moving to scratch his head, to check on his braid, which was done in a ponytail at the base of his neck, and banded about ever foot till the end. "How long till morning?"

Quatre stood there, the corner of his mouth twitching. The sunlight brought out a bit of red in Duo's hair and the way Duo tilted his head and looked at him, it was like he was looking right at him. Quatre supposed that he was, but just homing in on him as if it were really dark, finding him by the sound of his breathing. "We're in Honolulu because the world's premier specialist in optical nerve damage is here."

Deadpan, Duo blinked, then lay back on the bed, fingers moving over his own face, as if he were making sure that all the parts were still there. "I'm still blind. Do Heero and Relena know?"

"None of us knew until you woke up. It's been three weeks."

"Did I wake up early?" Duo knew he hadn't. If they'd gone to all this effort, had to be a lot of medical effort if he felt this good in only three weeks, they'd have controlled when he woke up.

"They meant to be back, Duo. It's been a lot of work transitioning the government."

"I'm sure." Duo said, adding two and two, or rather One and Relena. Three weeks and they had to know it was a good chance that he'd be blind, devalued. The feeling from the kiss flitted back to him. Spiritual, too sweet to be real. Heero was going to shot him, just like he'd asked. The kiss was a good bye? He didn't remember the angle of the weapon, that it had been at the back of his head, pointing straight through to Heero. Duo imagined them, standing next to each other, all fancy in nice clothes. The king and queen of the world. Queen and Knight, it sounded better than Knight and pawn, or Queen and pawn. "Quatre, I got any clothes around here?"

"Um, yes, Duo. Trowa and I picked up some things we thought you'd like. You're a little smaller than you were. Are you hungry?"

"Not really." Duo shoved the covers off and swung his legs over. He had money in his account, at least enough for a few months, not counting passage back to where he could get a sweeper ship to pick him up. Why did that feel like a death sentence? Like his heart was going to rebel and just stop when he got his feet on the floor.

It would be better this way, he told himself. Relena and Heero were the two that could guide the world, keep it on some kind of sane path. She had the words and the breeding. He had the power and the honor. Relena loved Heero and so maybe she could have that kind of spiritual, sweet, soul lighting kind of kiss with him.

Relena. Duo closed his eyes, and it was so easy to see her. She imitated his smile and he knew it. That time they'd planted roses, pink, blue, and violet, braiding them all together, laughing and talking about how they both loved Heero. He expected they'd both known at the time that they couldn't both couldn't have him. It had been so nice though, so like belonging to share the dream. "So, Quatre, give me some clothes and what kind of food do you recommend, uh?"

Duo could hear the smile in Quatre's voice. "I'll make you a fruit smoothie, with soy protein. Strawberry or peach? Oh, Duo I'm so glad you're okay! The world is going to be so wonderful now! Peace, real peace! We found you a Tokala tee-shirt, will that be okay? How about some kakis?"

"That'll be wonderful, Kat." Duo said, masking a smile, sounding out the size of the room by how many steps it took Quatre to reach the dress/closet. "Bathroom in here? Who the hell has been shaving me? They've been missing my throat."

Quatre giggled nervously. "Trowa did it a couple days ago. I did it this morning. I'm sorry. I don't have to shave my throat."

"Arab," Duo teased, not knowing what that had to do with anything, but enjoying the safety of being able to tease with someone, trying to stay very much in the present.

"American," Quatre teased back, "Duo, try not to worry about your eyes. There are other treatments we can try."

"I'm not worried," Duo replied, truthfully. He'd had his kiss and he was going to do the best thing for the one he loved and his best friend. "But, Quatre, right now, my eyes don't look, uh, fried do they? All nasty and white or something?"

Quatre set the clothes down on the bed next to Duo and reached out to take his hand again. "No, they look normal. It's just the optic nerves which are," he paused and squeezed Duo's hand, "Having trouble right now."

Yeah, sweet Quatre. "No big deal then. Make me something to eat while I get dressed. I got shoes too, right?"

"You're not going anywhere," Trowa added from the doorway. It was said gently, but with authority.

"Who me," Duo asked, laying a hand on his chest, feeling the thin fabric of his hospital type gown. "I just don't want to stub my toes walking into things and all."

"It's alright, Duo," Quatre said, sounding a bit mortified that his lover would suggest that Duo might try to leave. "Let me get you the sandals. It's a little too warm here for boots."

"Hey that's great! I'd love to see the beach! Sandals are good for the beach, right?" Misdirection here, misdirection there, and this little piggy went to market.

"Sandals are good for the beach," Trowa agreed and Duo was quite surprised to hear the expression of distrust in Trowa's voice. It wouldn't show on his face. He wondered if this was the way Quatre saw Trowa, heard his feelings in his voice, in the music they played together. "Heero sent a message that he will be landing their jet in a little over an hour. He's very concerned for you."

That made Duo pause, think he should wait, wonder. Relena had risked a lot, worked hard to save him. He wanted to talk to her, to thank her. He wanted to kiss Heero again so badly that the intensity of desire totally eclipsed the grief coming on over his lost eyesight. He wanted to be here. To what? Come between Relena and Heero. They'd comfort each other. "Go on. Food for the invalid, uh?"

"Duo?" Trowa questioned.

Duo heard them embrace, the sound of Quatre nearly tripping over Trowa's foot, of soft tee-shirt against tee-shirt. "Trowa, I'm okay, you know, all there." Duo tapped the side of his head. "You think I'm gonna lay in bed for three weeks, then get up and walk out?"

"I can understand why you might want to."

"If you want to go away for a while, Trowa and I will take you back to L4 with us. You'd be welcome, very welcome. You can sort your thoughts out there. Just don't take off on your own. We want to take care of you."

Oh yeah, that just did it, really did it. Duo Maxwell was not dependant on anyone. Anyone. Not Kat and Trowa, especially not Heero and Relena. "It's going to be okay, Quatre," Duo said. And he meant it, but not the way Quatre wanted him to.

On the shuttle.

Heero had not said one unnecessary word to Relena, not in the three days of conference. He didn't make any pretense of understanding how it was she fought, or how it was that she could make so many people agree with her. He was her personal security and he was her token of proof to the colonies that this was a true coalition, that the war was completely over.

As they started the descent into Honolulu, he loosened his tie and wondered how long it would be until Duo woke. The walls of training that had broken when he'd kissed Duo had not come close to repairing. In side he seethed, passion, jealousy, hurt, longing, love, all these emotions roiled around with fear for Duo, fear that Relena's peace would not hold. He did not think he could go back to fighting, not the way he had been.

Over the three weeks since he'd rescued Duo and Relena, he'd come to the conclusion that he'd accepted that in being willing to shoot Duo and himself, he'd paradoxically done the opposite. He'd woken a will to live that thrashed like a spoiled and scared child. He flicked the jet to auto pilot and turned to look at her.

She'd been watching him for most of the flight. She was like some storybook heroine. Intellectually he could see her as beautiful, noble, brave, elegant. The spoiled child in him still saw her as a threat to what he wanted with Duo and he hated her still. It was illogical and dangerous. Submission to the main mission of Duo's happiness was peace with Relena. "What is between you and Duo? Have you agreed to marry?"

She laughed then, the tension breaking over her like a tea bag finally pulled from the cup, disturbing the peaceful surface. She stretched as well, fingers poised naturally like some ballet dancer. Heero felt fear, fear because he could see why Duo might like her. "You're jealous."

Heero grabbed the yoke of the plane, nails digging into the soft gel covering. "My feelings are not relevant. I simply wish to know what pre-agreed relationship exists between you and Duo."

"We're friends. He is my closest friend, and I love him." She wove her fingers together, laid them in her lap, wondering why that sounded so inadequate. Friends. Love. It wasn't like what she'd seen in either of them during that kiss, not like the look of .. Of something she couldn't even define in Heero when he'd sat with Duo.

"You weren't lovers?"

The look of mission cold in his eyes scared her. She understood that, a bit, that she too would kill for Duo, but it still wasn't the same. "I wanted to marry both of you. I had made up my mind that I would have you both."

"I will not marry you."

Cold. The air conditioner must be on too high.

"At first, it was because I wanted you. You were everything a fifteen-year-old girl could want, Heero Yuy. He kissed me first. It was hungry, angry, lonely. He was wild, like a stray cat."

"Don't think you're better than him." Heero took a deep breath, and wondered where he was when Duo had kissed Relena the first time.

"I did think that I was better than he was." She said, turning to look out the window, at the rising green in the distance. "Heero, it's so much more than I can put into words. Duo made me understand being human. Duo broke down my walls of refined indifference. We used to pretend it was you that we were making love to." That was more than she ought to have said, and she knew it, but Duo wouldn't hide things from Heero, and she missed the safe place of friendship she had with Duo. If there was one thing she'd learned beyond all the rest from Duo, it was that friendship started with honesty, not with perfect. "He and I used to wonder, which of us you might want, and sometimes we pretended that you would want us both. That was as silly as me thinking the war would just stop because people would get tired of fighting."

Stunned. When had they had time to make love? The mental image of Duo and Relena together made Heero want to snarl and beat something. Duo was HIS! "I will not share."

For a moment there was silence. Then she unclipped her safety harness and stood. "Look at me."

He did and before he knew it her hand impacted his cheek, hard, sharp. "I fully realize that emotions are not something with which you are accustomed to dealing, however, until Mr. Maxwell is completely recovered from his injuries and the neurological damage caused by the veracid, you will place his feelings on an equal setting with your own. I fully understand that you have rejected me, but you WILL bear in mind that he is my friend and I am his. His self-esteem may take a dangerous hit if his vision does not return and he will benefit from having both of us act in a supportive way. Allow me, also, the favor of being the one to tell him that I withdraw my suit, that I no longer desire a romantic relationship with either of you. Do you understand what I am saying, Mr. Yuy?"

One eye twitched. He felt like he was two millimeters tall, just high enough to stick to the sole of a shoe. "Relena," he said, hearing the cockpit door open, "I'm sorry."

The door closed without response. Maybe humans weren't really meant for peace.

At the house Quatre and Trowa had rented, Trowa grew increasingly nervous. It might have some kind of connection to Quatre, some sharing of the blond's space heart. It might just have been the look of Shinigami on Duo's face right after Quatre had promised they'd take care of him.

"Do you think Duo will come down? You think he'll find the elevator alright? Maybe we should go up and show him the way to the kitchen."

"Sunshine," Trowa said, using his most tender endearment for his lover, "I think we should be very careful about doing too much for Duo. He's very independent and proud."

Quatre swirled some whipped cream, non-dairy so it wouldn't hurt Duo's stomach too much, he hoped. The smoothie looked delicious, magazine quality, as Quatre set a bit of mango cut on the shape of a heart on top. "That's just it, Trowa. No one deserves to be taken care of, pampered more than Duo. He was hurt so badly. Now we have to take good care of him so that he'll recover fully. Everyone enjoys being the center of attention, especially Duo."

Trowa so did not understand his lover sometimes. Well, he understood, intellectually, but perhaps agreed was more the right concept. "Duo likes to be the star, the one doing things. He likes to be on stage. He doesn't like being taken care of. It's not a romance novel where love goes to the one who's hurt the most."

Making a face, Quatre ran his finger though some of the smoothie left in the blender. "Where did you get that idea, Trowa? We love Duo if he's hurt or not. It's just…. Well, serious with him being blind for a while."

"It's not temporary, Quatre. We both know that." Trowa got up from the table, looked out through the front hall, only to see a car's break lights flash, then pull out into the street. "Quatre, go check on Duo, now."

"Hey!" Rashid exclaimed from the sitting room.

"My wallet's gone!" Another voice snarled quickly.

Trowa refused to grind his teeth, strode to the phone and hit redial.

"Thank you for calling Aloha Taxi. What is your destination?"

"Someone just called from here, where were they going?"

"I'm sorry, sir. All destinations are confidential."

Trowa did not want to try to get the police called on Duo. That would only make it worse. "I'm taking a motorcycle, going after him. Stay here." He didn't have to say that Heero and Relena were going to be pissed.

Quatre watched him zoom out the drive, thinking that he'd said something wrong to Duo