Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Reflections ❯ Reflections ( One-Shot )

Title: Reflections
Author: Meanne77
Rating: G
Contents/Warning: weird POV, shounen ai, references to the show and EW.

Notes: double challenge for me since I have to write it in French first and then to translate it in English ^^; (good thing it's short! XD)
Huge thanks for Mithy for the French support and for Natea for the English beta reading.

Word count: 637 words.

Reflections

He says to me that I'm just like everybody else, and hearing that from his mouth is painful. I don't want to be like everybody else in his eyes.
He says to me that he doesn't intend to do what others expect him to do on the pretext that's what is expected from him. He includes me in that too. I don't want to be one among many, never, especially not for him.
He says to me that he's fed up with everybody talking to him about Trowa, because what is between them is between them and because everybody is mistaken about them. Even they were, at the beginning.
He says to me that he doesn't want Trowa to be the only one to understand him anymore, because it's not like that between them. Trowa is the last word I want to hear in his mouth.
He says to me that it's also the last one he wants to hear in mine.
He says to me that he wants to hear me saying his name.

He says to me that he can understand better than anyone else what I feel because we're alike.
He says to me that I refuse to take chances because I'm afraid to lose again, but losing him wouldn't be the same.
He says to me that he knows that between us it's not the same. He doesn't understand that he's wrong, that he's not like Nataku.
He says to me that I take pleasure in the guilt because it's easier than to forge ahead.
He says to me that I'm a coward.

He says to me that I can choose for myself but certainly not for him.
He says to me that it's up to him to choose and that he has chosen me.
He says to me that it's my right to refuse but that he won't let me leave if I don't give him a good reason.
He says to me that my eyes contradict my words and my actions.
He says to me that he wants me to look at him for who he really is and not for who everybody think he is.
He says to me that he wants to help me, he says to me that he would like me to help him too.

He says to me that he's tired of always having to be the one who something is expected from.
He says to me that he would like to taste peace a bit.
He says to me that he's not that strong, and that he dreads me finding out.
He says to me that he's afraid of not being up to what I expect from him.

He says to me that he would like to just be Quatre and not Raberba Winner in my eyes.
He says to me that he doesn't want to be my leader, that he wants me to be his equal.
He says to me that I'm striving for his approbation and that he doesn't want to give me anything else but his support. I simply wish I could redeem for my faults, my betrayal, and feeling that I'm worthy of him.
He says to me that he can still see the colony exploding before his eyes. He says to me that he sometimes feels like he had destroyed mine.
He says to me that he needs my help forgiving himself, and perhaps in the process learn to forgive myself.
He says to me that he would like me to stay by his side and hopes that I would accept him staying by mine.
He says to me that we have too much to learn from each other to waste everything by remaining apart.
He says to me that I'm just an idiot.

I say to myself he's right.