Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Remember when... ❯ Life loves a tragedy part 6 ( Chapter 6 )

A chorus of voices shouting their names brought the soul-felt kiss to a premature end, and the couple that had been sharing it back to reality. Heero and Duo abruptly broke their embrace, and turned toward their gaping friends. Wide, surprised eyes danced rapidly from one face to the next, as Duo registered the pain and confusion found on all four expressions. Hurt was especially poignant in the two sets of eyes riveted on Heero.

The braided teen made a low noise in the back of his throat, and threw his arms around his ex-lover, burying his face into Heero's neck. Achingly familiar hands stroked his back for a few silent moments, allowing him to calm his frazzled nerves, and to catch his breath, before they moved to his shoulders to pull him away from the warmth of the embrace.

Heero guiltily dropped his gaze from the speechless audience surrounding them, and looked down at the boy who was clutching at the front of his tear-dampened blue shirt. He felt his heart clench painfully when he saw the love and longing in the expressive indigo eyes locked with his. Duo's entire countenance radiated hope and joy, as he smiled adoringly up at the lover that he had never intended to abandon so many long months before.

"Oh gods, Duo." Heero whispered, wiping a bit of blood from the teen's chin, left there from his own split lower lip. He released the young man who had been his first love, and stood abruptly, turning his back to him. With head down and eyes tightly shut, his entire body shuddered where he stood.

"I can't, Duo. I just can't do this." His voice quavered, as he felt he was being strangled by the agony deep in his heart. "Trowa and Quatre…"

He couldn't finish speaking; his throat refused to function. He felt, rather than saw, Duo crumple behind him. The devastated teen fell forward on his elbows, his forehead resting on a gnarled root protruding from the grass at the base of the maple tree.

With shaky legs, Heero began his retreat to the long black car; for the second time that morning he felt the need to escape. His steps faltered when he heard the mournful wail rising from the very soul of the young man that he was walking away from. He turned slightly, taking in the heart-rending sight of the broken boy on the ground. He raised one hand toward him, reaching out as if to offer comfort, when that hand was captured in an iron grasp, and his arm was painfully wrenched behind him, wrist threatening to break.

He found himself forced against the side of the limousine, an incensed Chinese teen savagely twisting his arm in an unnatural angle that, were he anyone other than Heero Yuy, would have broken bones.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Yuy?" Wufei growled as he wrenched the wrist harder. "Haven't you done enough? You fucking caused the death of his child, are you trying to do him in, too?"

The blue-eyed boy stood quietly, his head bowed to rest his cheek against the cool surface of the car's roof. He didn't struggle, or attempt to defend himself. In the years that had passed since his unconventional training, his physical strength was still much greater than his Chinese compatriot's. They both knew that he could break away easily if he put his mind to it, but he had neither the desire, nor the energy to fight.

Wufei spun him around, and was taken aback by the suffering clearly written deep within stormy blue eyes. He was stunned to see tears slowly coursing down the face of the young man whom he'd always thought felt nothing; who possessed a heart of ice. His anger abated when he saw the deep sorrow on the other boy's face, and he released him cautiously.

"Please," Heero said hoarsely, clearing his throat and licking his lips before continuing. "Leave me be. I'm not worth the trouble. Go make sure he's okay."

Wide-eyed and rather dumbfounded, Wufei nodded wordlessly, and slipped away from Heero. He quickly turned, and went to join Hilde and Quatre, who were trying to comfort the shaking ex-pilot.

Trowa stood alone near the front of the long black car, his gaze shifting from the sorrowful display beneath the tree, to the conflict between one of his lovers and one of his closest friends. He was loathe to intrude on either scene, and waited until one or the other had resolved itself. When Heero opened the car door and slipped inside, Trowa took the opportunity to join him.

The tall boy walked to the other side of the car, opened the door, and slid onto the leather seat beside the young man who was slumped into the corner, eyes closed, rubbing his recently abused wrist. Trowa lifted his arm, and placed it on the back of the seat behind Heero's shoulders, lightly resting his hand on the back of the dark head. They sat quietly together for many long moments, before Trowa broke the silence.

"I'm listening."

Heero sighed heavily, and rubbed his face with both hands. "Give me a few minutes. I need to get my head straightened out before I can talk about it." He turned his head, his pained eyes meeting concerned green. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Trowa nodded. "I'm here, Heero. Take as long as you need."

Closing his eyes and leaning his head back once again, Heero sighed deeply, thankful that it was the more taciturn of his lovers who had joined him in the car. He didn't think he could handle the ball of emotion that was Quatre Winner at the moment. His relief was short lived, however, as the door opened once again, and a blond flurry entered the passenger compartment of the limousine.

Quatre sat directly across from Heero and Trowa, on the bench seat facing the rear of the car. His body language shouted his agitation louder than a megaphone, as he leaned toward them with his elbows on his knees, and his pale brow furrowed over burning blue eyes.

"Would you care to explain what happened out there, Heero?"

"Not now, Quatre." Trowa warned softly, squeezing Heero's shoulder. "Give him a minute to figure it out for himself, before going at him with both barrels."

The blond businessman took a deep breath, and settled himself back against the dark leather seat, his gaze never leaving his Japanese lover. He ran his fingers through his hair as he exhaled slowly, attempting to calm his own nerves, while still being affected by the strong swirl of emotions he was being buffeted with from those that he held closest in his heart.

The dark haired boy finally opened his eyes, not lifting them to meet either of his companions. He licked his dry lips, still tasting blood on the lower one, before speaking with a voice thick with barely repressed tears.

"He never meant to leave me. Not permanently." He cleared his throat, and wiped brusquely at a trail of water that had escaped his eye. "He was confused. He didn't know what to do with his life. He was an alcoholic, you know. He left to get cleaned up, but he was going to come back."

Quatre gasped. Duo hadn't been in touch with any of the pilots after his disappearance, and when he did finally get in contact, Heero had already been taken in by the former pilots of Sandrock and Heavyarms. He recalled well Duo's phone call, nearly a year after he had deserted Heero. Trowa had been with him at the vid-phone, and had told the braided boy that the one he had left behind was now living with them, and he had made it perfectly clear what the arrangements were. There was no room for confusion over the relationship between the three former soldiers.

Quatre remembered the brief moment of disbelief and despair that had passed over Duo's face, before he slipped into his old joker's façade, and quickly ended the call. The blond now wished that he had pressed the issue at the time; that he had gotten in touch with Duo to find out exactly why he had left. Maybe some of the pain that the two former lovers had gone through in the past two years could have been avoided. Quatre would never wish away the time that Heero had spent in the embrace of his and Trowa's love, but he did wish that he could take away some of the heartache that had transpired in the years since the last war.

He knelt on the floor in front of Heero, taking both of his hands.

"He still loves you, Heero." He said quietly, finally drawing the sharp blue eyes to meet his own. "And you still love him."

A sob escaped the throat of the normally impassive youth, as his shoulders sagged under the comforting arm of his green-eyed love. He jerked his hands away from Quatre, and covered his face with them as his entire body began to shudder with the enormity of the months of inhibited anguish. It seemed as if all the misery and dejection that he'd suppressed since Duo had abandoned him finally found its release, in a long black car, in a picturesque cemetery. He was mourning the death of his first love, as surely as the boy he'd loved was mourning him just outside the window, beneath the graceful shelter of a maple tree.

Tears slid down the pale cheeks of the young man sitting on his heels in the floor of the car, as the green-eyed boy on the seat bowed his head, fighting down his own pangs of sorrow. Both boys knew that they were at a turning point in their relationship with their third. Neither would dream of keeping Heero from returning to Duo, if it was what would make him happy, but likewise, neither of them wanted to think of that possibility. As unconventional as their arrangement may have been, the three of them were together out of genuine love for each other, and both felt that if Heero left, he would take part of their hearts with him.

As Heero's tears began to slow, Quatre pulled his hands away from his face, and held the damp palms against his chest, clutching them to his rapidly beating heart.

"Heero, I think you have a decision to make." He started quietly, staring into stricken blue eyes. "Do you want to go back to him?"

The Japanese boy's eyes turned toward the window, and gazed sadly at the scene under the maple tree. Duo was slumped in Wufei's arms, looking for all the world as if he were unconscious, the anguish of the day having obviously exhausted him. Hilde sat beside the two former pilots, stroking Duo's hair softly, with rivulets of mascara streaking down her face.

"I've failed him." Heero whispered. "At every turn, with everything I've ever done, I've let him down."

Trowa cleared his throat, before speaking in a voice hoarse with repressed emotion. "How do you mean, Heero? How did you fail him? He's the one who left you."

Thick dark hair became even more tousled as Heero shook his head harshly, his eyes glancing from Trowa to Quatre and back again, searching for understanding.

"Don't you get it?" He asked in a voice that sounded foreign to his own ears, for all its desperation. "He left because he needed help that I wasn't giving him! I didn't know what to do, so I just ignored the problem, and thought it would go away! But *he* went away, and I didn't have faith enough in him that he would come back! He told me today that when he had found his path in life, and was ready to come back to me, I had already moved on without him! I gave up on him!"

"Heero…" Quatre started, before being interrupted.

"He just confused the hell out of me, you know?" Heero said despondently, his mood changing in a moment from frantic to somber. He sat back against the seat, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "He would never leave me alone. During the first war, he was just always there, always wanting to be with me, even when I was nothing short of an asshole to him. He'd touch me…no one had ever touched me before, unless it was to inflict pain. I didn't understand. He'd put his arm around me, or he'd touch my hand, or even ruffle my hair. It drove me crazy, because I couldn't figure out what he wanted from me; I couldn't figure out why he would want to touch me, or even be around me."

He paused to take a breath, and let his eyes drift to the padded ceiling of the car, as he remembered the early days of his relationship with Duo.

"No matter what I did to push him away, no matter how hateful or pissy I'd be toward him, he'd just smile back at me. Soon, I found myself purposely trying to be near him, and hoping to be paired with him on missions just so that he maybe would touch me again." A small smile crossed his face. "Then one day, he kissed me."

He shook his head, as if to clear his mind of the memories that had taken him away for a moment, then looked first at Trowa, then at Quatre.

"He was always there for me; he always watched my back, even when I told him to go to hell and leave me alone. He stitched me up when I couldn't tend to my own wounds. He convinced me that I wasn't just a tool of war; that I was human. I could rely on him, even when I couldn't trust myself. And what did I do for him? Nothing! I ignored him when he needed my help to beat his addiction to alcohol, I gave up on him after only eight months, moving on with my life before even knowing what had happened in his, and then I killed his child!"

"Stop it, Heero!" Trowa hissed, pulling the shorter man into a tight embrace. "It's not your fault. You didn't kill her. The doctors that wouldn't treat her are the reason she's gone, not you!"

Quatre raised up on his knees, still poised on the floor in front of Heero's feet, and wrapped his arms around the two distraught young men, his own tears flowing freely.

"He's right, Heero. Don't take the blame on yourself. You couldn't have known about the baby, any more than you could have known what Duo had planned when he left. You waited for him a long time, you searched tirelessly. You didn't know what was going through his mind. If it's anyone's fault, it's his for not letting you know where he was, or why he left."

Heero broke away from the three-way embrace, wiping roughly at his face. When he opened his eyes, Quatre and Trowa were surprised to see that he had schooled his features into his typical impassive expression. The trails of dried tears were the only evidence that he'd been upset at all.

"It doesn't matter anymore, it's over." He said, calmly. "It's obvious that Duo and I aren't meant to be together, if all I've ever done is hurt him. He doesn't deserve that. He can find someone who will understand him better than I ever did."

"We could always make our threesome a foursome, if you want. We've got plenty of room at home." Trowa said with a forced grin, tucking a well-worn tissue into his pocket.

"If what I was feeling out there was correct, we'd better make it a fivesome." Quatre quipped.

Both heads turned toward him, questions in both pairs of eyes.

"Hilde?" Heero asked.

"No, Wufei." Quatre said, raising up from the floor to take his seat on the bench across from his lovers. "The emotions he was projecting toward Duo were very powerful. I don't know that he's in love with him, but he feels very strongly, no doubt about it."

Heero nodded his head once, seemingly in agreement with Quatre's deduction. "That's it then. Wufei will be good for him. Duo doesn't need me anymore."

"The question is, do you need him?" The blond inquired quietly.

"That's of no importance. Duo's happiness is what matters. I just hope that we can have some kind of relationship again, one day. I just hope that he can forgive me."

He sighed, then looked both of his lovers in the eyes solemnly. "The real question is, do the two of you still want me to be with you? I'd understand if…"

Heero's speech was interrupted by a small blond businessman throwing himself into his lap, with his arms tightly folded around the dark haired teen's neck. "Don't you even ask that, Heero!" He scolded in a low, impassioned voice. "You know we want you with us! We love you!"

Trowa mimicked Quatre's earlier move, and wrapped his long arms around his two lovers, silently echoing the blond's sentiments with a lingering kiss to Heero's temple.

"Let's go back to the hotel, we're all exhausted." Quatre suggested. "The shuttle leaves at 21:00 tonight. We can get some rest, then check back in on Duo before we leave for the shuttle port."

The green eyed boy nodded his agreement, kissing Heero's temple once more before releasing him.

The limousine slowly rolled out of the serene cemetery at Quatre's cue to the driver, and the three boys in the back remained silent, caught up in their own thoughts. Deep blue eyes could only stare out the window at the love he was leaving behind.

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Tired was an understatement. Wufei breathed a sigh of relief after settling Duo in his bedroom for a nap, while Hilde cleaned up the kitchen from their early morning breakfast. He scrubbed at his eyes, he was tired himself, but he could sleep on the flight back home later that night. He wanted to be awake if he was needed for anything.

He had expected that emotions would be running high today, but what had transpired at the cemetery was completely over and above anything he could have ever imagined. It would take months, if not years for the emotional scars that had accrued today to heal.

"Is he asleep?" Wufei blinked, turning to meet Hilde's concerned look.

"Yeah, for the moment." He answered, pulling at his tie that was still knotted tightly at his throat.

"I wish that I didn't have to leave so soon." Hilde said, flopping down onto the couch. "He really needs someone to look after him."

"I'm afraid that I will be leaving on a red eye flight tonight. Lady Une and Sally are expecting me back tomorrow." He sighed, slipping the silk necktie from underneath his collar, and carelessly tossing it onto the end table.

"Are you sure you can't stay longer? Maybe take some vacation time?"

Wufei shook his head. He wished he could extend his time here, but his division at Preventers was short-handed, and his presence was sorely needed to keep the peace in the sprawling city that he protected. He'd already had to pull favors from two of his fellow agents to take the time off that allowed him to be with Duo now, he knew that calling to beg for more time would be futile.

"I have cases stacked on my desk right now, and I know that a big sting operation will be going down in just under three weeks. I'm needed back there."

Hilde sighed in disappointment. She was hoping that one of the guys would be able to stay with Duo, at least to help him through the first few days of his mourning, but the display in the cemetery surely knocked three of the pilots out of contention. She knew that there had been some unsettled business between Duo and Heero, but she never thought she'd see them come to blows, and then find them in a deep kiss so soon after. She ran her fingers through her short messy hair. It would be a long time before she could even begin to forget the sounds of her `brother' crying broken-heartedly on the ground.

"You're the closest one to him. Will you try and keep an eye on him?" She asked.

Wufei turned; startled that she would suggest something like that. "Closest? I'm hardly his best friend, Hilde. This is the first time I've seen him in over two years."

"Maybe not his best friend, but you did come here on a moment's notice to be with him. After what happened today, I really can't imagine him even speaking with the other three. So that leaves you and me. Seeing that I'm living on L-2 and you're here on Earth, you're closest to him. Just call or email him. I don't want to see him taking up the bottle again. That nearly destroyed him last time. I'm sure if he started again, it would kill him."

Wufei nodded. He'd heard bits and pieces of what had happened over the past few years, but a lot of it remained a mystery. Hilde's comment about Duo taking up the bottle raised his curiosity; he knew nothing about his friend's prior struggle with alcoholism. He was sure that he would get the whole story one day, but he knew for certain that he didn't want to see the ex-Deathscythe pilot losing control over his life.

"I will check up on him. You don't need to worry about that."

"Thanks, Wufei. You'll be a good influence on him. Who could go wrong with a friend like you?" Wufei merely grunted, leaning back into the couch and closing his eyes. He had a lot to think about.

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Duo sighed, snuggling deeper into the blankets that felt so warm around him. He was vaguely aware of someone stroking his bangs away from him face, caressing his forehead, the repetitive motion soothing him greatly.

"I have to be leaving soon, sleepy head." Duo groaned, burying his head further into his pillow.

"Don't go yet." He mumbled, earning a chuckle from the woman perched on the side of his bed.

"I'm afraid I have to. I don't trust those guys to run the place by themselves yet. I'm scared to see what sort of chaos and destruction has gone on since I left the yard in their hands." Hilde snorted disdainfully, rolling her eyes, before her gaze softened when it landed on her sleep ruffled friend. "I can probably get some extra time for the holidays. Wouldn't it be great to spend Christmas together? Maybe Aleana will like me by then."

"She doesn't hate you, Hilde." Duo rolled over, his sleepy violet eyes blinking to adjust to the lights streaming through the open bedroom door. "She's just not used to a lot of strangers. She's been accustomed to only me and Mrs. Gregory."

"She seems to have warmed up to Wufei well enough."

"Yeah."

"Who knew that Chang Wufei had a way with children? I think he's got a way with braided teenage boys, as well!" She said, winking.

"What are you trying to say, Hilde? That I should pack up and move in with Wuffers?"

"Well, he is available, gorgeous, and gets along with Aleana." Duo sat up in bed, throwing the blankets off hastily.

"Look, Hilde. Drop the subject of my `love' life, okay? Didn't you see enough at the cemetery?" His indigo eyes pleaded with her. "I can't, Hilde…I…I can't take this feeling that my heart has been ripped from my chest anymore. There's no way that I can fall in love with Wufei, only to have something like this happen to me again. My heart just can't take it anymore."

"Shhhh." Hilde wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back slowly. "I shouldn't have said that, Duo. You've just been through so much, and I thought that maybe Wufei would be the one to help you find the road to happiness again. I just want to see your smiling face again, you know? Not the forced smile you plaster on when ever I see you on the vid-phone."

"Aleana is all I need right now, Hilde. One day I'll find my niche in life, and everything will be right in my world, but I don't see that happening for a long time. I'm just gonna sit back and lick my wounds for awhile."

"Just remember, if you need me, call. I love you." Hilde whispered, turning her head that was laid against Duo's shoulder to kiss him on the cheek. The young American gave a weary smile, placing a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"You better get going. I don't want you to miss your shuttle." He said patting her back; letting her go so he could get off the bed.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want Charlie and Mitch to freak out if I don't show up for work tomorrow. They'd probably put the yard up for sale, and split the money."

"Wouldn't want that to happen." Duo chuckled. "Wait a minute, I'll walk you out to your car." Duo slipped on a wrinkled tee shirt from the floor, frowning that he still had on his dress slacks, that were now just as wrinkled as the shirt.

"Matching ensemble." He shrugged, following Hilde out of his room, and down the short hall that lead to the small living room. They found Wufei snoozing, slumped into the deep cushions of the couch. Duo shook his head, placing a finger to his lips. There was no need to wake the sleeping dragon.

Slipping out quietly, Duo still in his stocking feet, they took the old, creaky stairway down to the street level. Hilde threw her small overnight bag into the passenger seat before turning to her friend.

"If you need anything, you'll let me know, right?" She asked, leaning her back against the car door.

Duo nodded his head. "Yeah, you'll be the first one I call. Promise." They exchanged tight hugs, both of them smiling for the other's benefit, attempting to lift the melancholy mood surrounding them.

"Laters." She grinned, climbing into the small rental car. Duo gave her a wave as the old heap started, the gears grinding loudly before pulling away from the curb.

"You shouldn't be out here without your shoes, young man." Duo bowed his head at the voice, smirking slightly behind his hair.

"Yes, Mrs. Kastel. I'm heading back to my apartment right now." Duo answered the woman that lived in the next building over from his. He could still hear her scolding and rambling at the other people that were on the street as he made the climb up the stairs to the front doors.

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Duo had left the dark haired teen sleeping on his worn couch, as he busied himself around the tiny apartment. His bedroom was now back in order, the bathroom cleaned, and the small amounts of clutter that had accumulated over the last few days put away.

He stood and looked around his shabby apartment, mentally comparing it to the one he had shared with Heero two years before. Being on a colony, it was much newer than this building, that had been built not long before the colonies had been developed. It was just over 200 years old, and despite the crumbling façade, creaky stairways, and faulty plumbing, it was in surprisingly good condition for such an old structure. It was obvious that the wars had never touched this neighborhood, which was one of the selling factors in his decision to settle there.

Picturing their modern townhouse with sleek black and chrome furniture, not to mention the opulence that Heero was certainly living in now at the L4 Winner mansion, Duo couldn't imagine his former lover relaxing comfortably in his current surroundings. He glanced at the sleeping boy on his couch, and smiled at how easily Wufei had accepted his living situation. If he had been disgusted by the poor conditions he lived in, Wufei had never made it known.

He sat down in the living room with a silent sigh, pulling notes and text books from his ragged backpack. He had school work to catch up with, and now was the perfect time to sit down and get it over with. He would pick up Aleana from Mrs. Gregory's as soon as he finished. He hardly had the time to study lately, and with no one counting on him for their every need, it seemed to be the perfect time.

Wufei watched the braided teen from under his dark lashes. He wasn't sure what woke him, but the peaceful sight of Duo studying in the old rickety armchair made him stay quiet. He wanted to smirk as Duo chewed on the pen cap, fingers flipping pages in a thick book that sat on the arm of the chair.

Out of all of them, Duo seemed to be the most changed. While the rest seemed to be living comfortably, Duo worked two jobs, went to college and took care of two babies with some minor help from Mrs. Gregory a few buildings down. Granted, the American had to borrow money to help scrape by every so often, but he did his best to make ends meet with what he had, and provide a loving home to the orphan girls.

How many of them could even do that? Quatre, Trowa and Heero certainly had the means to take in children, and go to school while living off the fortune that Quatre's family had. But with their lifestyle, Wufei couldn't imagine those three with a child or two. Hell, he couldn't imagine himself with a child with his work schedule. It was highly impossible! But Duo, he made the time some how.

"You need glasses, Duo." Wufei mumbled, his eyes finally opening with a hint of sleepy haze. The braided teen frowned, cocking his head to the side to regard his friend that was sunk deeply into the couch not far from him.

"Just bad lighting in here. I don't need `em. I don't want to look like a total nerd now, do I?" Duo chuckled, twirling his pen between nimble fingers. Was he really squinting to see the words on the pages?

"Don't come to me whining when you can't see correctly." Wufei sniffed, stretching out his stiff muscles as he stood. He absently checked his wristwatch, noting that he still had time before he was required to be at the shuttle port. Maybe he could fix dinner for Duo, and accompany him when picking up Aleana before he left.

"Pffft, believe me, I won't come whining to anyone about insignificant problems like that in the future. This week tops everything that I've ever lived through." Duo blew his bangs away from his eyes, his nose once again buried in the book he was studying. Wufei shook his head, a few strands from his ponytail drifted loose from its elastic band.

"I wouldn't mind at all, Duo. Just remember, if you need me, I'll be there." The Chinese teen dropped his hand to Duo's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Indigo eyes closed, a deep breath taken.

"Thanks, Wu. You've been my rock this week. I don't know if I could have made it without you. Duo patted the hand that was still on his shoulder, returning the comfort and strength he received from it.

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Three hours before their shuttle was scheduled to leave, the sleek limousine glided up to the curb in front of Duo's apartment building. Quatre refused to leave Earth without saying goodbye to his friends properly. Heero had refused to go, stating that he could be left at either the hotel, or at the shuttle port on the Winners' luxurious shuttle. The blond businessman shot down that idea quickly.

"I still say that this isn't a good idea." Heero mumbled, stepping out on the curb right behind Trowa. The taller teen gave him a small encouraging smile, placing his hand on the small of Heero's back, urging him to follow their blond lover.

"It's time to start the healing process. Things will be alright for all of us."

"I wish I could believe that."

"You will."

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Wufei answered the soft knock at the door, and Quatre was surprised to see the usually crisp, immaculately dressed Preventers agent with wisps of hair falling loose from his ponytail, and his clothes disheveled and wrinkled. Sharp dark eyes narrowed when he saw who was standing on the threshold of Duo's apartment.

"Hello, Wufei. We wanted to say goodbye to you and Duo before we left tonight. Is he awake?" Quatre asked, quietly.

Before the Chinese boy could respond, Duo stepped up behind him, grasping the door and opening it wide for the three other ex-pilots to enter. "C'mon in. It's okay."

Quatre and Trowa stepped through the door, followed reluctantly by Heero, whose eyes never left the worn carpeting underneath his feet. He stood against the wall, just inside the door, his arms held rigidly at his sides, fists clenched with tension, as the other two young men entered the room. Trowa sat down on the near end of the overstuffed couch, while Quatre lit on the rounded arm next to him.

Quiet conversation floated unnoticed in the air around him, as Duo's eyes never left his study of the form of his first love, leaned against the cracked and peeling wall. He had yet to see Heero's eyes since he'd entered the apartment, and he found himself longing for the boy to raise his gaze, so that he could see what the boy was feeling. As schooled as he was in keeping his features impassive, his true emotions could always be seen within his endlessly deep blue eyes.

As if he'd heard the braided boy's thoughts, Heero briefly raised his gaze to meet Duo's. He looked away quickly, swallowing the uncertainty that he felt after the scene that had occurred at the cemetery that morning. He met pensive indigo eyes once again, and locked with them. He reached one hand toward his ex-lover, and then abruptly drew it back to his side.

"Can we talk, Heero?" Duo said in a quiet voice. "I think we have some things that still need to be said."

The dark haired boy nodded wordlessly, and followed Duo down the short walkway to his bedroom.

Wufei stood to intercept the two retreating figures, but was stopped by a strong hand on his elbow, and he turned to meet the concerned faces of Trowa and Quatre. The acrobat released his hold, but urged the Chinese boy to sit back down on the couch.

"Wufei, let them go, they both need this. They need to decide whether or not what they had between them is over. I don't know how much Duo told you, but what happened two years ago was one huge misunderstanding."

"He didn't tell me anything. He was basically incoherent at the cemetery, and when we returned here, the man just collapsed! Would someone please tell me what the hell this is all about?"

Duo shut the door behind himself, and switched on the lamp next to the bed, before sitting down with his back to the headboard, and his feet pulled up on the mattress. The other boy's eyes swept the small room, looking for another piece of furniture to sit on. Finding none, he remained standing stiffly, just inside the room.

"Sit down, Heero, I won't bite." The braided boy said wearily, as he gestured to the end of the bed with one socked foot.

He did as he was instructed, turning to face Duo with one leg bent at the knee, curled up onto the bed, while his other foot remained on the floor. He stared at the braided American for a few long moments, before deciding to take the bull by the horns, and just say what he needed to say.

"I'm sorry, Duo." He began, surprised by the conviction in his own voice. "I should have waited for you. I don't know why I didn't, why I didn't have faith in you to return…"

He was interrupted when Duo leaned forward, curling his arms around his knees, his bright eyes sparkling fervently. "Don't apologize; it wasn't your fault, Heero! I fucked up, that's all there is to it. I got scared, so I ran. I didn't tell you where I was going, or when I'd be back, or even that I was coming back at all!"

"In my half-assed, idiotic, booze-soaked brain, I thought I was doing the best thing for us." He continued. "I thought that I'd get my shit together in a couple of weeks, and come on back to you. It never entered my mind that you'd think I'd run off and left you for good. I had no idea that it would take so long to dry out; I guess I lost track of time. I kept expecting you to show up on my doorstep and drag my sorry ass back home."

"I looked everywhere I could think of, trying to find you." Heero replied, quietly. "I searched every salvage yard in the colonies, talked to Howard, found every Sweeper in space, but no one had heard from you, or knew where you were. I had Relena helping me through her channels here on Earth, and even had Zechs looking for you on Mars! You just disappeared! I didn't know if you were dead or alive, or if you'd left me for someone else, or what the hell happened!"

He swallowed, and took a deep breath before going on. "I swear to you, Duo, I've never been so afraid in my life! I'd spent years being trained not to succumb to my emotions, then when I finally broke free of that mindset, when you had at last been able to help me feel again, all those emotions that had been turned loose in me went out of control when I lost you!"

He had to stop his impassioned speech, as he relived flashes of those horrible first months after Duo had left him. He just shook his head in defeat, his pain-filled eyes never leaving those of his former lover.

"Shit, Heero. I'm so sorry." Duo whispered. "I never meant to hurt you. I was thoughtless, and it was selfish of me to just expect you to sit up there twiddling your thumbs, waiting for me to come back. I don't blame you for hooking up with Q and Tro."

Heero smiled weakly. "I went to them to beg Quatre for money to hire private detectives on Earth. After I'd scoured all the colonies, I just knew you had to be down here somewhere. I was desperate, and they saw that I was just about at my wit's end. I wasn't sleeping, was barely eating, all I could think about was finding you. They convinced me that I was just hurting myself, and that if you didn't want to be found, there was no way I'd find you even with all of the Winner fortunes at my disposal. They took me in, they took care of me…"

"So I guess I have them to blame, then, huh? Think I'm gonna kick a little Arabian ass." Duo chuckled bitterly.

"I think that we are all to blame, Duo. It just wasn't meant to be."

Duo looked up at him, a melancholy smile on his face. "I still love you, ya know. I mean, I know that you're with them, and you're happy; I dealt with that awhile back. I don't know why it hit me so hard at the cemetery today, I guess just everything happening all at once."

He wiped away a single tear that found its way down his cheek. "Shit, I've always said `boys don't cry,' haven't I? I've boo-hooed enough in the past coupla days for a lifetime, I think."

Heero opened his arms, and Duo smiled, uncurling his legs and moving across the space between them to return the offered embrace. "I love you, too, Duo. No matter what happens, I always will. It just wasn't in the stars for us. We weren't meant to be."

"I think you're right." Duo sniffled, pulling out of the embrace. "I know this is the corniest, most cliché thing in the universe to say, but can we still be friends? I miss you, ya know."

"I miss you, too." Heero said, leaning in to brush his lips with a chaste kiss.

Duo smiled a true, happy smile for the first time in weeks as Heero drew back. "Ok, `friend'" he snorted, "we'd better get back out there before your boy toys start to get worried about what's going on back here."

The entire mood hanging over the small apartment changed from that of heavy sorrow to lighthearted camaraderie, as the five close friends rejoiced in their strengthened bonds. It was soon time for the three colony dwellers to leave for the shuttle port, and all of the boys were sad to part ways, after so long being apart. Promises were made on all sides to keep in closer contact, and warm hugs were exchanged between all of them.

Duo and Heero held their embrace for many long moments, before separating with the knowledge that their broken hearts were both on the mend, and that they would see each other again, soon.

________________________________________________________________ __

Wufei replaced the phone receiver, noting that Duo had returned from putting the red-haired cherub named Aleana to bed.

"My cab should be here in ten minutes." Wufei said, shuffling his two small bags near the door.

This was it. It was his time to say good-bye to Duo. His heart grew a little heavy at the thought of leaving.

"Are you sure that you have everything? I wouldn't want you to forget something important here." Duo asked, collapsing back into the worn couch, the overstuffed cushions almost swallowing him in.

"I'm sure. If not, then it wasn't important to begin with." He wanted to wince with those words. He was forgetting something…a certain longhaired American that was more than welcome to come home with him. He was afraid to admit it, but this little reunion had shed a new light on Duo, one that he couldn't shake. Was he falling in love with him?

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." Duo answered, the room lapsing into an almost uncomfortable silence. Wufei looked at his watch for the thousandth time, knowing he couldn't delay the inevitable.

"I have to go, Duo." He whispered, draping his coat across his forearm. The longhaired teen nodded, wiggling to free himself from the couch cushions.

"Thanks for everything, Wu. I'll never forget what you've done for me." Duo approached the dark haired teen, his eyes locked to the floor.

"As I've said before, if you need anything or just want to talk, you know how to contact me." Wufei picked up his bags, slinging the shoulder straps into place. His hand was on the doorknob when he felt arms wrap around him. He turned awkwardly in the embrace, his chin resting on Duo's shoulder.

"Thank you from the bottom of my heart." Duo whispered, kissing Wufei on the cheek, squeezing him tightly one last time before releasing him.

Wufei was unsure what to think, but he smiled warmly, bowing his head.

"Good bye, Duo Maxwell. We'll see each other soon." And with that, the door was opened and closed, the dark haired teen slipping silently off into the night to return home.

"Bye, Fei."

*~*

End of `Life Loves a Tragedy' for the `Remember When arc.