Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Restricitions ❯ Prologue

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Title: Restictions
Author: Zilent1
Warnings: Shounen-ai, sap
Pairings: For thee to work out ^_^.
Note: <<lyrics>>
Disclaimers: Gundam Wing belongs to its respective owners as featured song, "#1 Crush", is to Garbage.



I would die for you
I would die for you
I've been dying just to feel you by my side
To know that you're mine.

For so long I've dreamt of having you by my side. To hold you within my arms, to show how much I have wanted you. But such things seem to bring about the negative thoughts. Do you like me like I to you? Oh, how it pains me so, this question. This silent affection that may be ever kept silent. Only to be known to myself, and myself alone, until I can face the music. But if I don't face the music soon enough and voice my desire for you, then you may be lost to me.

I will cry for you
I will cry for you
I will wash away your pain with all my tears
And drown your fear.

We all seem to be alone, yes, but, in reality, we're not. To think that no-one would care if you go, that is false. If you left, you would have my tears. And my heart. The heart that breaks to see you in pain. If I could only speak out, you wouldn't be feeling so alone and then there will be no more need for the tears and pains of the past. But all I give is an unnoticed silence for the way I feel about you.

I will pray for you
I will pray for you
I will sell my soul for something pure and true
Someone like you.

We have blood on our hands, but they were once innocent. Innocence that may never be resurfaced, of the blood that may never be washed away. But to hold one bloodied hand to another would be a sign of a fragment of hidden innocence. At nights, when loneliness drowns my soul, I think of you and how much I cherish you, despite the blood. I sound sickly sweet, but this is how my heart speaks.

See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice everytime that I'm talking
You will believe in me
And I will never be ignored.

Everywhere I go, it reminds me of you. The book that you read, the chair that you sit on. Even the window where I stand to stare at you, secretly. Every conversation, or argument, we have, I fall harder for you. The harder I fall, the more I want to tell you my feelings. But I start at the worst of times. I begin, I hesitate, you ignore me. My heart aches, but one day my time will come when I'll push aside the fear of rejection and let everything come out. But only time will tell how long I have to hold my secret desire.

I will burn for you
Feel pain for you
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart
I'll tear it apart.

Everytime you happen to be hurt within your Stronghold, I wish I could take the pain away. I hate to see your physically hurt, even though you think you're strong enough to handle it. You're not. No one is. If I could tell the future, I would save your from the pain. A pain that I could carry to show how much you mean to me. The pain adds more to my heart, which is like a furnace of overwhelming love and desire. A furnace that will soon break from the pressure.

I will lie for you
Beg and steal for you
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see
You're just like me.

I would do wrongs for you, just to prove how much I want you. I would do anything for you to notice me for what I really am. To see beyond the mask. To see how we are so similar, instead of you thinking I'm less inferior to you. I would show you how even we really are, if I only had the courage to do it. Just to see you there - and not be able to express myself, to release the full power of the withheld passion from within the furnace.

Violate all my love that I'm missing
Throw away all the pain that I'm living
You will believe in me
And I will never be ignored.

Since I met you, these were my thoughts, my dreams, my desire. To be with you and only you. So that day I finally found courage, the day I spoke out, I will never forget. I put aside my fears. Pushed aside the negative thoughts and spoke up about my feelings toward you. But to say it was day, is false. In one of my frequent moments of sleeplessness, I crept down the hall towards your room. No moon to lead the way, no rain to signify the past pain. Just darkness, walking the darkness to the light. You.

I would die for you
I would kill for you
I will steal for you
I'd do time for you
I would wait for you.

I stood by your bed, like I had often done, and watched you sleep. Such a cliché, watching someone you love sleep, but there was no other way to approach the situation I had created for myself. I took in the calmness that lay on your sleeping face, the innocence of an adolescent in slumber, his past unknown. Your dark hair lay across your face, unrestricted by the control you have on it. I open my mouth and suddenly my emotions come out. My soft whispers fill the silence that surrounds us. I tell of my longing, my wanting, my thoughts. I finally speak out and I know not whether you even heard me. I continue to whisper as I go down onto my knees and kneel beside your side. I rest my head parallel to yours and continue whispering. Repeating myself.

I'd make room for you
I'd sail ships for you
To be close to you
To be part of you
'Cause I believe in you.

But even as I talk, I hold back the four words that mean so much to me. I hold them close like crystals, for they are seemingly fragile. I fun my fingers across your cheek, brushing aside the strands of bold ink. I lean in closer, forehead to forehead, nose to nose. I stop the whispers and simply marvel at how close you are to me. How close I am to you. I want to kiss you but I hold back in fear. Leaning over your ear, I whisper the fragile words, then stand to leave. I wait for no reaction and turn to leave. But, like your hair during the day, I'm restricted. Foreign fingers clasp around my wrist. Bronze on white. My heart pounds. I feel dread. I also feel hope.

I believe in you
I would die for you.

Shaded eyes look at me emotionless, but the restriction tightens. Suddenly the fragile words come to mind and slip from my mouth before I can stop them.

"I love you, Wufei."

End.

A/N: Mou. Lost the plot halfway >_<. Anyway, good? Bad? Like it? Hate it? Review or constructively criticise. No flames!