Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Revelations Kept (2/3) ❯ Revelations Kept (Second of three...so far) ( One-Shot )

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Title: Revelations Kept
Author: AKA Anonymous
Warnings: A little rambling, sequel to 'Restless' my other rambling
Disclaimer: I'm proud to say that I own ~*Pause for dramatic effect*~ absolutely nothing worth value!
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When I got home, I didn't even feel human. The hours spent in the white and pastel rooms had been long and agitating, to say the least. My face kept the usual sly grin as I was repeatedly poked, prodded, questioned and tested, but inwardly I leapt from hope to dread with every /tick/ from my watch.

The wooden faces (most smiling as plastically as my own) of my puppeteers--the technicians who pulled my strings and tested my body--swept by too quickly for any serious thought or conversation to be held. They simply held out the hoops the doctors wanted me to jump through and I obediently leapt through, even if I didn't know what was on the other side.

I wasn't a person--just a body, a test, a guinea pig.

/Squeak./

To be fair, though, they did wait until they told me the results from the last tests before sending me on my merry way... to Radiology. I felt as if a chunk of titanium alloy had been dropped on my chest.

They had confirmed the prognosis.

In the kind of half-relief, half-stunned moments after, I realized what a strange sentence that was. I think I was in shock because it struck me as odd that 'con' is opposed, generally considered a negative, and 'pro' is in favor of, generally considered positive. So, they gave me the bad news of the good news, but in my book the good news was bad and the bad news was bad. Get that? Don't worry, neither do I.

So, I beat that around my head, along with other pointless information, while new paper work and exams were drawn up...how easily I am amused in moments of anxiety.

I remember this old joke about the opposite of 'progress.' Trust Americans to make fun of everything. (1)

But I'm getting way off track. Where was I? Oh, the tests. Yay.

At least the doctor let me skip the biopsies, this time...and go straight to ultrasounds and X-rays! (Do not pass GO, do not hold on to any dignity in the little-flowered-gowns-that-never-close-all-the-way-in-the-back.)

O h! Don't forget the extra fun game of 'touch the half dressed patient with every cold metal object in the room!'

Now, don't get the feeling that I hate doctors or anything; I have great respect for them.(2) Really. I'd just prefer that they keep their tests, funky terminology, and sympathetic looks to themselves. Thank God I didn't have to deal with hospitals during the wars. Besides Po's hospital, when I broke Heero out...that was kind of fun...well, until the end.

Now, I'm spending a day a week at the sterile-smelling building. Today by the time I got home I had just enough energy to flop down on the couch and throw an arm over my head. I let out a primitive growl/sigh and slowly replayed the day's events in my head while thanking God that the others were still at work. I needed time to vent and think.

Like more important things than the prefixes 'pro's' and 'con's.'

Like when and how I was going to tell the others. That was a biggy. I thought that the test results from last time would give me more of an idea of what things would be like in a month, a year, four decades, or whatever...and they did relieve most of my fears, but so much more was unknown. And so many more tests were needed.

How long could I hold it up? Should I hold it back from the others?

Commander Une had 'sent' me on an 'assignment' to do a 'security check' on a dilapidated warehouse to cover my absence, but how many more 'assignments' would she be able to smoke screen before the others got suspicious? (Not that I was not grateful to Une for the cover story, but when I got to my real appointment I began to wonder if her evil persona had risen up for one last laugh.)

I'm still as uncertain and nervous as before but there was a ray of light in the drone of test results. The blood work ups had shown a normal level of A-something that muscles produced. (This is where I gave a sigh of relief.) Then the doctor firmly scolded me for 'not eating my spinach.' (This is where I almost laughed in her face.)

What's a touch of anemia compared to knowing you'll be able to get out of a catcher's squat without help? That you'd be able to get up in the morning without something to crawl your way up on? I wouldn't be bed-ridden and useless...at least for now.

Which was when I was shooed on to the X-ray techs and such and I began to wonder what they were looking for. What they weren't telling me. Yes, my old L2 paranoia come back to haunt me with memories of the plague. Great day, huh? (3)

For now I'm just glad that I'm home, I'm mobile and--I open my eyes--Heero Yuy is giving me the 'Glare o' Death.'

When did he get home?

For a moment of blind panic I consider blabbing the whole business to my friend, but the moment passes and I lose my nerve. I smile, he 'hn's' and life goes on as normal.

I feel guilty for not letting them know, but since the disease hasn't spread to my muscle tissue, and maybe never will, I'll keep my revelations to myself. For now.
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(1)--What's the opposite of 'progress?' Congress. ^_^;;

(2)--I gave a lot of thought into the medical field as a career, still thinking actually.

(3)--This is actually my anxiety over my high school years when I was sick very often and had some very bad days. It really feels like all that old stuff is haunting me.

~~~Thanks for putting up with me and all the support.~~~
--AKA Anonymous