Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Running Out Of Tomorrows ❯ Chapter 6

RUNNING OUT OF TOMORROWS

PART SIX

* * *

When he woke up, Heero was nowhere to be found. Panicked, he was awake in a second, looking around with fear-stricken eyes. He noted that Heero's bed was empty once again, and that the drawer in his night table was wide open. He also noticed that his own leather jacket, the one that had been covering Heero along with the blanket, was now covering him instead.

He quickly turned to look down at his watch, thinking perhaps it was time for Heero to go and get his breakfast (AKA a cup of tea). Heero was so stubborn sometimes, that it wouldn't be a surprise if he went by himself instead of having Duo do it. Also, the kind young man would never wake a person in order to ask something of him, so it was logical to assume that he went by himself. However, when Duo looked down and sought his wristwatch, he was faced with a bare wrist and a fainter color of his skin where his wristwatch once were. Of course! He traded it in the market! He kept forgetting about it for he was so used to be looking down at his watch. His life was all about timing and schedules now, and checking his wristwatch, even if it wasn't there, was like a second nature to him.

Whirling around, Duo shoved the yellow curtain open forcefully and took a long stride into the main passageway. "Heero?!" He called, his voice still hoarse from sleep. "Heero, are you here?!"

"Shut up!" Someone muttered angrily, turning and coughing in his hospital bed.

Duo could now see that everyone else in the room were asleep, meaning that it was too early for tea. In that case... where was Heero? Where did he go?!

Wasting no more time, Duo hurried towards the door. His heart was beating quickly with worry and fear, his mind supplying him with a million possibilities as to what could have happened. But it wasn't possible that Heero had died in his sleep and no one woke him, right? That was ridicules! He would have woken up by himself! He would have never let Heero die! Not alone and not ever! There must be another explanation! There must be!

He burst out the door and continued running frantically down the hall. He made a dash towards the vending machines, but there was no sign of Heero there. Making a quick turn on his heels, Duo sprinted towards the other side of the hall, where the service elevator and stairwell were. He was panting and his hair was falling out of his short braid, flying in all directions as he streaked past various nurses and patients. He nearly fell as he jumped down a whole flight of stairs, but managed to land in a crouch and then continued to run down the stairs. He had to find Heero.

Two floors down, and Duo's run came to a blunt stop. Someone else was walking up those stairs; slowly climbing up with his head bowed and shoulders slumped. Someone with messy chocolate brown hair and pale bronze skin. Someone who had just managed to make Duo's heart stop as he looked up at him, Prussian blue eyes wide in surprise and confusion.

Heero.

It was Heero.

He was okay... Heero was okay...

It was Heero... Heero...

"HEERO!" Duo cried out and launched towards the young Asian man, squeezing him with a tight hug. "Fucking Hell! I was so worried! I woke up and you disappeared again! I was so worried!" He mumbled over and over, pulling the young man closer and placing a hand on the back of his head. He pressed the shorter man's head to his chest and leaned his own head on him, closing his eyes and shedding tears of relief. "Goodness Heero... I was so worried..."

Surprised, the young Japanese man didn't make a move. He simply stood there, wrapped in Duo's warmth and soothed by his gentle touch. They were still standing in the middle of the staircase, Heero standing one step below Duo, so he was about a head shorter than him. In his hand, squashed between their two bodies, was a small package, wrapped in a torn piece of fabric. It poked Duo's knee, which made the young man pull out of the embrace and look down in confusion.

"What's this?" He asked in a baffled tone, looking down at the small parcel held in Heero's slender hand.

A small smile touched Heero's colorless lips, and he looked up at Duo, his blue eyes shining. "It's for you." He whispered, his voice so weak but yet so full of hope. He reached up, handing the package to Duo with a trembling hand. He cast his gaze down in shame at the shaking of his hand, unable to look at Duo in the eye. "I... I got this for you... It's... for you."

Stunned, it took Duo some time until he was able to move his hand and take the package from Heero. He looked down at it uncertainly, his heart beating slowly and painfully, like it knew that something bad was going to happen. His heart always acted funny next to Heero. It did things and acted in a way far different than it did next to any other person, save for Solo maybe. And why shouldn't it act differently around the very person who ruled over his heart? The very person who made his heart beat, pulse and pump life through his veins? He was yielding to its master's control, beating under the influence of its ruler. The ruler of his heart, the one beating that battered organ of his... the one and only, Heero Yuy.

When he saw that Duo was not responding and merely gawking at the small package, Heero's sad little smile faltered, and a dark shade of anxiety sipped into the blue depths of his eyes. He smiled nervously and shifted his weight from one foot to another. "Uh, I... I'm sorry I didn't have a better wrapping..." He mumbled in shame, looking up at Duo with moist eyes. "I just... I couldn't find any..."

Duo's heart clenched painfully at its master's agony. He slowly raised his gaze to look at Heero, wanting to assure him that the wrapping was fine, but the sight of those incredible blue eyes rendered him speechless. He was looking straight into those captivating eyes, the only color in a dying sea of gray. They were looking at him with so much hope, fear, love and trepidation, that his heart was once again bleeding in pain and his breath was stolen away, leaving him without words.

Uneased and anxious by Duo's silence, Heero forced on another small and faltering smile. "Open it... ne?" He offered feebly, tilting his head aside in an encouraging gesture. "It's a... a present. It's for you."

Slowly, almost hesitantly, Duo forced his stiff neck to move so he could look down at the small present. He could feel the weight of Heero's gaze on him as he moved his other hand in order to unwrap the gift. He could hear Heero take a quick and nervous breath as he slowly uncovered the gift. The young man was obviously nervous and anxious to see his reaction.

Bit by bit he unraveled Heero's gift to him, pulling away the thin fabric that was wrapped around the small object. After pulling all of the fabric away, Duo was finally holding a small, and fragile, wristwatch. It was a black wristwatch with fine silver outlines. It was elegant looking and it bore the name of an expensive brand, but considering that it was bought on L7, Duo suspected that it was fake merchandize.

Heero swallowed, his heart beating faster. His legs were trembling from exhaustion, unable to stand for much longer, but yet he was unable to move away. His gaze was locked on Duo's numb features, studying him carefully and trying to detect any kind of reaction. But all Duo was doing was standing there silently and gaping at the watch. Heero took a shaky breath and bowed his head sorrowfully. He knew that silence was a bad sign.

"It's... it's just a cheap watch..." He whispered, his voice trembling as if he was about to cry. He was looking down at his fidgeting hands, refusing to meet Duo's eyes. "There... there was... there was this old merchant walking down the street... he had those inside his trench coat." He sniffled and closed his eyes, refusing to let the tears come. ".........it's just a cheap watch........."

While listening to Heero's heartrending words, Duo reached a careful hand down and touched the fragile watch. He traced the silver outlines with the tip of his finger, feeling the cool metal against his skin. His numb violet eyes watched the movement of his hand almost detachedly, as his brain raised the question as to how Heero had managed to afford this.

But the question soon flew out of his mind as he flipped the delicate watch, and then froze, taken aback. His eyes slowly filled with tears as he looked down at the shiny object, and one silver tear fell down onto the watch's leather strap. He moved his finger again, touching the back casing of the watch as if it was a holy object. He took in a deep, shaky breath as his finger brushed over a small inscription carved on the back:

'Love, Hiro.'

Nervous cobalt eyes watched Duo, as he stood there frozen in place, looking down at the watch as if it was an alien object, or some sort of an abomination. He swallowed hard and offered a small, faltering, smile. He shifted in his spot a few times, gathering the courage to look up at the dumbstruck man. "He... the... the merchant... he had this small laser he could make the inscription with... I couldn't afford many letters so... I... I'm sorry, I... I just didn't have enough... It's how you're suppose to spell it anyway..."

Duo still didn't look at Heero, which made the young Asian man quite nervous and fearful. But Duo's eyes were too busy looking at the imprinted word, carved sloppily into the fake silver casing.

'Love' it said. Love. He moved his finger to caress it, but stopped, hesitating before his skin touched far too infinite and momentous word.

Love.

Heero's love...

A small whimper fought its way out of Heero's lips, and his feet nearly gave way. Tears filled his eyes as he saw that Duo was not responding. He wasn't even looking up him!

Unwillingly, he began to cry. He felt foolish and ashamed, but the pain was so great that he could not help it. This pain beat anything else he ever felt, being more intense and powerful than any pain his enemies ever inflicted on him, or any torture the disease plagued him with. This pain drilled through his heart and left it bleeding, making him cry and writhe in pain.

"I'm... I'm sorry!" He burst, his voice hoarse from crying and tears staining his pale cheek. They poured out of his eyes like waterfalls as the pair of raging blue hurricanes looked up at Duo with sorrow and plea. " I'm sorry, Duo... I... I shouldn't have written that... and with my name... a boy's name... I'm sorry..." He cried desperately, his feet finally giving way and he collapsed down on the staircase. His kneecaps collided roughly with the edge of the step, blood gushing out of fresh wounds. But that pain... that pain was nothing right now... The sorrow and sadness that was crushing his heart was far too powerful... far too painful... he didn't want to live anymore... but he had to. He hadn't finished what he had to say... just a few more words, Duo might hate him for it, but he must say those few words. Then he can rest... then he will be able to rest and thus will not have to see the hate and disgust in his love's eyes...

Duo was still looking down at the watch, his eyes shining with tears. The silvery streams leaked out of his eyes and mingled with the stray hairs that insisted on sticking to his face. He was holding the watch tenderly, his finger caressing the inscription as if it was life itself he was touching. As if it was Heero's tender, sweet, kind and loving heart he was touching.

"...it's just a cheap present..." Heero's broken voice spoke quietly from below, the boy still kneeling down on the staircase, his head bowed and shoulders slumped. "It's just a cheap watch, but I... I wanted you to have something from me... a reminder after I'm gone..." He continued to whisper feebly, sniffling from time to time as tears continued to leak down his pale cheeks. "...it's kind of fitting... a cheap present from a cheap person..." He mumbled bitterly, closing his eyes and sniffling loudly. "I'm sorry, Duo. I'm sorry I can't give you anything better... I'm sorry..."

"Heero..." His voice suddenly returned to him, and the only thing he could think of saying, the only thing he KNEW how to say at this moment, was that name. The name that has haunted him for the past seven years. Heero's name...

"Heero..." He whispered again, his voice also sorrowful and anguished. He slowly knelt in front of the broken man, clutching the watch in one hand, while reaching his other hand to caress Heero's cheek. Heero's eyes were closed and his head was bowed. Duo reached down and gently wiped away the tears from Heero's thick eyelashes. He then returned to merely petting the boy with the tip of his finger.

"You don't have to keep it if you don't want to..." Heero mumbled sadly, slowly opening his eyes. He turned his head to look up at Duo, the tearful pools of cobalt glistering under the faint light of the room. "You really don't..." He continued, smiling sadly between his tears. "...I'll understand, but I just... I just wanted you to know... I wanted to tell you that..." Another whimper suddenly escaped his lips, and he turned away quickly, hiding his shame. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to control his breathing, but the sobs only intensified as the time passed.

His heart throbbing in pain, Duo reached his hand to caress Heero's hair gently. "Heero..." There was so much more that he wanted to say, but the words refused to come. They refused to come!

Another choked whimper and Heero jerked his head up to look at Duo, his blue eyes large, vulnerable and glistering with tears. "I love you, Duo! That's what I wanted to say!" He cried out, his voice desperate and fierce at the same time. "I love you so much! I've loved for so long... and it hurt so bad to be away from you! I know that you're not interested in my love, but I can't keep it hidden any longer... You have every right to be angry with me, but I... I simply had to say it, Duo! Just once! Just once before I die... I love you, Duo... I love you so much... I love you..."

He was clinging to Duo by now, holding him by his shoulders as if keeping him in place, so he won't be able to escape. His whole body was bent forward, his head also bowed and his features obscured by a mop of messy chocolate hair. His thin back was shaking under his sobs, his weak hold on Duo's shoulders clenching and unclenching as he cried. His sobs were not those of sorrow, but of relief. Relief after long years of hiding and fearing the thought of letting his feelings for Duo show. Even though he knew that he deserved no such love in return, he was happy. Happy to have finally said those three words, that meant so much to him.

Oh, the pain was still there. The same pain of knowing that his love will never be fulfilled and returned. That pain will always be there, probably even after he will die. A pain in the heart follows you to the afterlife, he was sure of that, but he didn't mind it that much. He would gladly carry this pain in his heart for eternity, the pain will remind him of his love. He will gladly carry it.

At some point, the exhaustion and tears won over his desire to remain conscious, and Heero slowly drifted into slumber. Still held in Duo's arms, his own hands still clinging to the other man's shoulders, Heero was oblivious to the shiny stream of tears that slid down Duo's cheek and poured down on his hair like rain. Silver tears mixed with messy chocolate stings, making them shine as they slid down the fine hairs, and down Heero's face, mingling with his own tears. It was like Heero was crying Duo's tears, as the young man wrapped his arms around Heero tightly, pulling him closer and burying his head in his hair. More tears slid down chocolate bangs and down a pale porcelain face, as Duo sobbed quietly into Heero's hair. The only sounds heard in the stairwell, were Duo's heart broken sobs, and a ticking of a watch.

* * *

Back on L2, in a modest and average kitchen, a large and small hand of a clock pointed '12', and a loud ticking noise was heard. By the sink, just finishing up with the dishes, Hilde Schbeiker put aside a wet, clean, plate, and reached for a kitchen towel in order to dry her hands. The kitchen was quiet, as was the whole house, and the only light on was the one in the kitchen. There was a dim flickering of light coming from the living room, where the TV was on showing a title declaring that the channel, one designated for children, had finished its broadcasting for the day.

Drying her hands, Hilde walked out of the kitchen and made her way to the living room, picking up various toys that lay scattered on the floor. By the time she reached the sofa, she had a whole pile of toys in her hands, and she threw them all into a large basket that stood by the sofa. She then turned to look down at the couch, and her gaze softened.

Solo was lying curled on the couch, facing the TV, deep asleep. His precious Jinx action figure was lying limply in one hand and his other little hand was lying at the same level as his head, his thumb nearly in his mouth, but not quite. That same arm was also hugging the wireless phone, which was still turned on and letting out a low dial tone. The little boy has been trying to call his father for hours now, but having no such luck. He was probably about to call again before he fell asleep.

Sighing deeply, Hilde gently nudged the phone out of his weak grasp and put it aside. She reached for the blanket that lay on the back of the couch and covered her son gently. She petted his little head, her fingers playing with the long chestnutstrands that lay scattered over the cushion. The little boy's hair was getting too long for her liking. He was probably trying to grow his hair so it will resemble his father's, but she was already planning on getting his hair cut soon. It's not that she had anything against her ex-husband's hair; it's just that Solo was so cute with short hair! Plus, no school would agree of having a longhaired boy. L2 was getting pretty strict when it came to education standards and had quite a few well-regarded institutes.

After turning off the TV and putting Solo's Jinx DVD collection back in place, Hilde returned to where she had placed the phone and picked it up. She pressed the 'REDAIL' key and made her way quietly into the kitchen.

"The client you are trying to reach is currently out of this colony." A computer female voice announced. "If you know the exact area code he is in, please type it now."

Sighing heavily, Hilde keyed in the L7 colony's number.

"The call is being connected to colony L7-7283101. The charge is five dollars per minute. If you wish to abort, press 'ONE'. If you wish to connect via WSCI [i] , please hold."

* * *

"And how much will that cost?" Duo spoke harshly into his mobile phone, a frown on his face. He was standing outside the hospital's pitiful-excuse of a cafeteria, pacing the small room as he spoke on his mobile phone.

"Even if you have the money, it's nearly impossible to achieve!" A snobbish voice answered from the other side, belonging to a middle aged man. "It's too late, can't you see?!"

Duo rolled his eyes and continued stomping back and forth. "I'm not asking if it's possible or not! I'm asking how much will it cost?!" He called angrily, waving his hands in the air as he spoke.

"More than you can earn in a life time, so just stop dreaming lad and forget it!" The man shot back, equally angry.

Duo took a minute to calm down, running a hand through his long bangs. "I want you to make the arrangements."

The man on the phone chuckled. "Are you mad or just stupid, boy?!"

"Just do it!" Duo barked, earning a few glances from people who were passing by. He looked away from them and hunched closer to the phone. His tone was cool and angry as he spoke. "I want it done as soon as possible."

"We'll need an advance payment." The man answered slyly.

"How much?"

"Fifty thousand."

"You'll get it."

"When?"

Duo sighed and shifted his eyes away from the phone. "...I'll get back to you on that."

"It's not like you have much time. I think that after tomorrow it will be useless anyway."

"How should you know?!" He demanded, feeling hurt and fear-stricken by the words.

The man on the other side of the line laughed mockingly. "I am a doctor after all, aren't I?" He let out in a small fit of laughter.

Duo swallowed, once again reminded to whom he was speaking. "I'll have it by tomorrow then."

"If he'll make it through the night, that is." The man mocked and Duo growled.

"He'll make it. I'll make sure of it."

"You might be rich and foolish, but you are no miracle worker."

Biting back another growl, Duo prepared to hang up. "No, I'm not. That's your job."

Again the other man laughed. "Right... right... I suppose it is, is'n't it?" He chuckled. "Well boy, I'll be hearing from you tomorrow then." The doctor said with a smirk in his voice. Duo could just imagine the smug look on his face. He could hear the man hang up and then the dial tone rang in his ear.

"Yeah... tomorrow..." He muttered with a sigh, his hands balling into fists around the phone. "Tomorrow..."

The mobile phone suddenly rang, making him flinch in surprise for it was still close to his ear. "Jesus!" He called, his heart beating like it was about to burst. He took a deep breath in order to calm down, and pressed on the SEND key.

"What is it now?!" He barked at the doctor.

Only it was no doctor.

"Is that a way to greet your ex-wife or do you always answer the phone like that?!" Hilde's angry voice bombarded his ear.

Duo grimace. "Oh, hi, uh, Hilde." He let out a nervous chuckle. "I thought you were someone else."

He could hear her snort. "Well thank God that Solo is asleep! What if he was the one to call you?!"

He winced again. "Uh..." He let out, having nothing to say and being too tired to come up with a witty comeback line. "How is the little man?" He asked instead.

Again Hilde sighed. "Fine, except that he misses you so much that he rarely eats, speaks or smiles for that matter."

Duo's heart pounded painfully and anguished washed over him. "That bad, huh?" He asked quietly.

"You've never been away for so long. It's been a week already. He misses you." Hilde's tone was softer now, pleading even. "Why won't you call, Duo? Speak to him at least! Let him know you still care..."

"Of course I care!" He nearly shouted. "He knows that!"

The line was silent for a while, until Hilde took a deep breath and spoke.

"Duo, I've known you for a long time now and I consider myself as one of a few who know you for who you really are. And I know that you're a very bright, passionate and optimistic young man. You're full of life and emotion, but sometimes... sometimes all that optimism and passion can be blinding. Sometimes... it makes it difficult for you to see that other people are not as confident and assured as you are... they need to hear that they are loved... it's not as obvious as it seems to you."

"Hilde... what are you talking about!? Solo knows I love him..."

"I'm talking about Heero, Duo."

He fell silent. She managed to hit a sore spot in his already aching heart.

"Duo," Hilde continued, her voice grim. "Heero is not like you when it comes to dealing with emotions. He has his own way of dealing with them, and he has his own way to interpretthem. You might think that he reads your actions in one way, but in fact he might be thinking the complete opposite. It's an individual thing, the way we interpret emotions, based on our experience in life. Duo... you know Heero better than I do, but do you really think that he has enough experience in order to recognize your feelings towards him?"

Duo swallowed. He never thought of that before.

Hilde sighed. "Duo, Heero doesn't have much time left. I'd hate to see you lose him without being able to tell him what's been lying in your heart for all these years. You have to say it to him, before it's too late. If you feel something for him, and I know you do, just say it. I don't understand why you keep those words away from him!"

Tears were fighting their way back into his eyes, and he was too tired to fight back. He let them flood his eyes once more, pooling inside the dark violet orbs. "If I... if I'll... if I'll tell him now... it's... it's already too late... I'll lose him anyway. Just like... just like always..."

"Oh don't give me that! With all due respect to the people in your past, Duo, it's time you'll get over that! It's been YEARS since that day! Years! You made many friends, you married, and you have a SON! And nothing happened! Nothing! You fought with your own sweat and blood to make sure of that! Nothing will happen! There's no war, there's no death, there's no nothing! You should start facing this fear of yours, Duo. And you better do it now, before it's too late!"

"...But Heero... he is dying..." Duo muffled out quietly, clinging onto his fear in an almost dependent way. He had lost so many loved ones in his past, so many people he gave his heart to left him alone after their premature deaths... if he'll give his heart to Heero, now, right here at his deathbed... it was only an invitation for more hurt.

He could hear Hilde take a deep breath, probably trying to calm down. He could detect a sad smile in her voice as she spoke. "I've always known that I was second place in your heart, and I thought that it wouldn't matter. You were too blind, or too stubborn, to see who was your true heart's desire, and I admit that I took advantage of that. I'm sorry, but I can't say that I regret it. You made me happy, for a while, and gave me a wonderful son."

He could feel a painful tug at his heart as memories of his son came into his mind.

"But I couldn't live as a 'second best'." Hilde continued. "I just couldn't. And I know that you won't be able to live with yourself if you will never come out and say it. You need to say it as much as Heero needs to hear it. It might not save him, but it will help him pass away in peace."

He was crying silently by now, listening to her confession and feeling nothing but a fool. He had been so content living inside a comfortable marriage... knowing that he was free of hurt and pain of abandonment, if only he'll sacrifice one thing: his true love. He was willing to settle for a second choice, an alternative to happiness, if only he could avoid getting hurt again. But it didn't work out as well, like any other relationship in his life. It might have lasted a lot longer, but that was only because he wanted to keep the numbing feeling of content for as long as he could. In the end, that illusion of love brought him a son, but that was the only joy it brought. He had to face it, without Heero, he will never be truly happy.

"Duo, go to him." Hilde's voice spoke urgently in his ear. "Go tell him what you have been muttering in your sleep for the last seven years."

"Hilde..." He choked out, his voice barely making it past the tears.

"I shouldn't have been the one hearing those words you were dreaming of, they were directed at him." She answered kindly, a smile in her voice. "Go tell him Duo. For a moment, forget that he is dying. Forget about tomorrow. Just tell him, so you could both enjoy the present instead of worrying over past and future."

Sniffling, Duo used his sleeve to wipe away the tears. He was sitting on the floor by now, leaning against the wall and holding the cell phone close to his ear. He forced out a small chuckle, which sounded more like a sob. "Since when are you being so nice to me anyway..?" He let out with half a smile, still sniffling as he spoke.

Hilde let out a small laught. "Hmm, gee, I don't know..." She pretended to be thoughtful, and he could tell that she was acting. "Since you're far away and it's easy to forget how annoying you are?"

He chuckled bitterly, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "Gee, thanks Hilde."

She also chuckled briefly, before returning to a more serious tone. "Duo, the only reason we didn't get along was because I hated being compared to another. I know that you didn't do it on purpose, but subconsciously, your heart was always doing that math. You know I don't hate you."

"I just get on your nerves each time we meet." He muttered jokingly.

"Yeah, that and the fact that you don't like dogs!" Hilde spat in mock-disgust,

"Hey! I'm allergic!" Duo protested, feeling a little better because of her teasing.

"Right." She snorted. He could hear her take a deep breath, and then her voice spoke up seriously. "I went to see my lawyer today. The money will arrive to you sometime tomorrow. Go to him, Duo. Don't waste anymore of your time on me. I will speak with you tomorrow, when Solo's awake. Bye." Not waiting for his response and giving him no chance to protest, Hilde hung up.

Duo sniffled and continued to sit there, slumped against the wall. He slowly lowered his mobile phone, resting it on his lap and looking at it numbly. "...yeah... goodbye..."

* * *

He woke up to a funny feeling. Warm and fuzzy, but yet cool and shuddering in the same time. It took his hazed mind a few moments to realize that he wasn't covered with his blanket. It took him a few more minutes to also realize that he was naked. Panicked, his eyes flew open and quickly darted to look around the room. But his small cubicle was dark, dimly lit by the pale blue light that poured through the window, casting long shadows on the floor and the dirty yellow curtain. He could see the shadow of his bed, and also, someone near the bed. Someone close, very close. Someone who was bent over him, his hand reaching down... down towards his nude body...

Panic surged through his every nerve and Heero closed his eyes tightly. His hands, which lay limply at his side, balled into fists. It was well known that some of the hospital staff liked to 'enjoy' tending to the younger and more attractive patients. Mostly it was the women who were assaulted, but there have been a few occasions of young men being harassed in their helpless state. So far, he had managed to fight off any of his would-be offenders, but right now... right now he could barely move. He didn't know if he could handle a fight right now. He whimpered at the thought of being used like that so near to his time of death. He had hoped that he would be able to die before this would happen.

Someone touched him, just below his exposed thigh. Another whimper escaped his lips and he did his best to try and move away from the touch. In the end, all he managed was to squirm in his bed, sheets getting tangled around his nude body. He tried to look at his attacker from this position, unable to lift his head off the pillow, so all he could really do was move his eyes. But the offender was out of his line of vision, for he was sitting by the edge of the bed, bent forward so Heero could only see his curved back.

Heero closed his eyes, trying to squirm away from the hand that was touching him.

"...Duo..." He let out desperately, calling out the only name he could think of, the only name he knew that would answer his call for help. But then again, why should Duo answer? Why should Duo come? After his behavior in the stair-room... after what he said... those blasphemous words... after he had broken down and cried in front of him... after all that he had done to shame both himself and his love... why should Duo come? He was probably halfway to L2 by now...

"Heero?" A soft voice asked quietly, and the touch disappeared.

Heero's eyes flew wide open. Did Duo chase away the touch? Did he help him?

A tender hand was suddenly holding his, warm, careful and so very gentle. He looked up, desperate blue eyes searching for the owner of that honey-sweet voice.

"Duo..?" He croaked, his throat too dry to speak. "Duo?"

A light chuckle, a joyful sound. It nearly made him cry again...

"Yeah, it's me. I'm here, Hee-chan." The voice answered tenderly, and another warm hand was suddenly on his forehead, caressing him gently and pushing his bangs aside. "Shh... don't be alarmed. I'm just giving you a sponge bath." The voice explained softly and Heero could hear him, no feel him, come near. "You had a little blood on you... I hope you don't mind me doing it, but hey, it's nothing I haven't seen before, right?" A nervous chuckled, the movement of the hand on his forehead faltering for a second.

He looked up, his stunned blue eyes melting into pools of warm amethyst compassion. He smiled. "I don't mind." He whispered, though his face was slightly blushed. "I... I don't get that often around here." He regretted saying that when the light in the deep purple eyes flickered. He bowed his head down sorrowfully. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that..."

The smile was back, kind and caring, and the hand was squeezing his. "Don't worry about it, Hee-chan."

Again that pet name... again that soft and tender voice that spoke that name... it was speaking to him so gently... lovingly, almost. He could just close his eyes and imagine... just imagine... maybe that's how love sounded like...

"Just relax now." Duo's voice spoke quietly, and he could feel the warm hand let go of his. He let himself drift into a semi-sleeping state, just enjoying the feeling of the warm sponge against his skin; the warm water dripping and sliding over his body, caressing his skin with warm and ticklish trails. It moved slowly, gently, brushing against sensitive skin, always careful and considerate. He couldn't remember any other time in his life, when someone paid so much attention to him, like this sponge was doing now. Like Duo was doing now. Never in his life did someone take the time to just sit there with him, tending to him and caring for his needs. It's been so long since he washed himself, he felt so dirty and tainted and now... being washed and cleaned like this... it made him feel... it made him feel human again. Like he too deserved such care and attention.

The only sound inside his small cubicle was the sound of water dripping as Duo wringed the sponge above the bowl of hot water. It was sometimes accompanied by the soft sound of Duo's baritone voice, humming a merry tune as he worked. He moved the sponge slowly, almost sensationally, over the planes of Heero's body, paying extra care to each limb, each little spot of smooth and flawless skin. He tickled Heero sometimes, making the young man squirm and giggle silently. He enjoyed the sound of Heero's laughter, so he did it again and again, until the young man begged him to stop, out of breath and very much exhausted. After that, it was back to the slow rubbing of flesh, moving the damp sponge up and down Heero's limp body, until the movements began forming a certain rhythm. Slow, sensational and very much enjoyable.

Too caught in a sense of peaceful bliss, Heero nearly failed to notice what the sponge's movements on his inner thigh was doing to his body. He almost failed to notice, but he certainly didn't. He began to squirm on the bed, feeling uncomfortable as his sex slowly began to harden. He took a shaky breath and opened his eyes.

"Duo... stop..." He breathed, his cheeks coloring, as the movements of the warm sponge didn't cease their teasing. "...stop." He asked again, pushing himself up by supporting his upper body with two arms. He looked at Duo, finding it hard to look into the man's eyes after he had seen the obvious evidence of his attraction. Their gazes locked, and for a long time they merely stared at each other silently. Duo's hands were still around the sponge, still resting on Heero's thigh, but he didn't move anymore. He just stared into Heero's bottomless eyes, shining sorrowfully in the dark.

"I'm sorry." Heero suddenly whispered, bowing his head in shame. "I... I can't help it." He mumbled, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Not giving any answer, Duo slowly pulled his hands away from Heero. He took a long breath, and leaned back in his chair, placing his hands on his lap. His gaze was locked on the ceiling; Heero's gaze was glued to the floor.

"Have you ever had made love to anyone, Heero?" He asked quietly, not shifting his gaze away from a certain spot on the ceiling.

Heero swallowed and shook his head. "No."

"You didn't even date?" Duo asked, astonished, and turned to look at Heero. "For seven years?!"

The young man sighed and plopped down on the bed again. He curled into himself and lay on his side. He kept looking down at the floor. "I dated some. Women mostly."

Duo frowned. "Why women? I thought..."

"I gathered that it's the right thing to do... or something like that. It's what society refers to as 'normal'." Heero spoke bitterly. "But in truth, I think I did it so I won't risk falling in love, or maybe I was just trying to hurt myself, I don't know. I gave it a lot of thought during my stay here, but... I never reached any conclusions." He sighed and turned to look at Duo. "I did have sex, if that's what you meant by your question. But I never made love."

Why was his heart aching..? Why was it hurting so much..? Heero... Heero was doing this to him... he was always doing this to him... the ruler of his heart... the one who was keeping it beating... he made it beat with pain each time he looked at him with that wretched expression... with those haunting blue eyes... with that silent plea... that silent plea of love...

Duo swallowed and looked away, unable to bear the weight of that look. He sighed and closed his eyes, bringing two arms to hug himself.

"I'm sorry if this disgusts you." Heero whispered, still looking down at the floor. "I... I really don't mean any harm..."

Duo chuckled bitterly, mockingly almost, and Heero's eyes closed in pain and sorrow.

"You just dun get it, do ya?" Duo called harshly, standing up and whirling around to face him.

Heero dared to open his eyes and look at Duo, his gaze uncertain and confused.

"How could I be disgusted?! How could I possibly be disgusted by something so beautiful?! Something so caring... so bright... so pure?! How can I be disgusted by your love?!"

Stunned and bewildered, Heero gaped at Duo with wide blue eyes and an open mouth.

"How could I ever be repulsed by you, Heero?" Duo spoke again, softer and quieter this time. He slowly made his way towards Heero, sitting down carefully at the edge of his bed. "I could never do that, Heero." He said, looking into his eyes and taking Heero's hand in his. He smiled and kissed Heero's gentle hand, whispering against the soft skin: "Not ever."

Heero was about to try and say something, anything to break the silence that followed, but then another kiss was bestowed on his hand. And then another and another, an entire trail of kisses being gently placed on his arm. The lips started from his palm, then his wrist, stopping at a faint scar on his forearm and then going further down. Duo's lips were everywhere on him, kissing his heated flesh softly while his hand still held his tightly. Heero closed his eyes, lips parting in a silent gesture of pleasure as Duo's lips trailed from his arm to his shoulder, slowly brushing down to the side of his body.

Since he was still lying on his side, there was enough room for Duo to climb onto the bed, his lips never leaving Heero's warm and tender flesh. His eyes closed in pleasure; Heero tilted his head back against the pillow when Duo's lips trailed to his upper back, slowly brushing at his left shoulder blade. Duo's wet tongue darted out and slowly licked the hollow crevice in his shoulder blade, making Heero gasp and arch his back in pleasure.

"D-Duo..." He let out with a quivering moan, his hand rising up blindly to search for his love. He finally found Duo's hand, somewhere down on the bed, and held it tightly as the other man's lips climbed back up to lick each and every rib on his left side, making him weak with pleasure.

"How could such a sweet thing be disgusting, Heero?" Duo's husky voice spoke from somewhere below, just before that same mouth that had just spoken attacked Heero's left nipple. Unable to suppress a loud moan, Heero arched his back and then slumped against the bed, lying on his back now instead of his right side. This only gave Duo more room to kiss and explore, and he positioned himself above Heero, bending forward so he could worship every inch of Heero's body.

Heero's hands grabbed the sheets tightly, clutching a handful of fabric, clenching and unclenching his hands around it. His legs were squirming from side to side, his head thrown back and his lips parted in silent cries of pleasure. He did not want to wake the room's occupants, and did his best to keep silent, even as the tongue came near to his most private parts. But when Duo's hot mouth found his arousal, there was no holding back and a loud cry of pleasure tore out of his lips. He panted and trashed in the bed, struggling to keep quiet.

But Duo's tongue was treating his cock like a lollipop, swirling up and down, licking and sucking, nibbling and teasing him endlessly. He was so lost in this sensation of heat and pleasure, that he no longer cared for his struggle to keep silent. All he knew was the white-hot sparkles of pleasure dancing around his body, pouring out of his groin by gallons. He seemed to have forgotten how to speak, because the only word he suddenly knew was his lover's name.

"Duo... Duo... aaa... Duo!"

"See how beautiful you are?" Duo whispered as he allowed himself to part from Heero for a moment, looking at the withering man with passion clouded eyes. He smiled and bent to kiss the tip of Heero's manhood.

"Arrng!!!" Heero moaned loudly, pushing his hips up in an attempt to thrust into Duo's mouth.

The longhaired man chuckled in amusement. "Beautiful and impatient." He added with a smirk.

"Ahh... Duo... please..." Heero whispered pleadingly, blue eyes full of need looking up at him with plea. "Please... don't stop... please..."

He was about to answer the request, almost taking Heero into his mouth again, when a thought struck him. He jumped off the bed, a wicked smile spreading over his face.

Panting and confused, Heero turned around to see what Duo was doing. Fear of abandonment stirred inside him, and his eyes stung with tears. "Duo? Are you leaving?" He asked, his voice faltering. When he saw Duo reaching down for his bag, he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He had to know that this was too good to be true... Oh please let it just be a nightmare... please don't let him find out that he had died in his sleep and this was his Hell... it was too cruel... too awful... even for Hell...

"Duo?" He asked once again, pushing himself up a little. "You're leaving now?"

"No." The longhaired man answered and turned back to Heero with a smile on his face. "Of course not!" He exclaimed, holding up a small paper bag, the size of a cigarette box, and showing it to Heero. "I just thought about adding a little spice to my dish."

Heero didn't know if to laugh, cry, or frown. He settled for doing nothing as he watched Duo walk over to the bed. "What do you mean?" He asked as he watched Duo tear the small package open. A wicked grin spread on his features. "You'll see." He said, and emptied the bag's content into his mouth.

He watched Duo as he returned to the bed, climbing up so he was between his legs. He didn't bother to lie back down, curious to know what Duo was doing. His arousal was pulsing with need and leaking precum, making him feel as if he will explode if he won't be touched soon. He squirmed in anticipation as Duo slooooooowly bent down towards him, opening his mouth so very, very, slowly. He only touched him with the tip of his tongue, making Heero whimper in frustration.

"Duo, please!" He begged, panting with need of release. He could catch a glimpse of Duo's naughty expression as the young man sent him a quick look, before diving in and licking the underside of Heero's erection.

The young man screamed and fell panting against the bed, so sensitive he was to the touch. Duo chuckled and licked the forming precum off his weeping arousal. "Hmm... yummy..." He said, and then engulfed Heero completely.

It wasn't only the feeling of Duo's moist, hot, skilled mouth that made Heero call out in pleasure this time. It was the dozens, if not hundreds, of tiny objects in Duo's mouth that were suddenly dancing around his cock that turned him into a moaning and groaning mass of pleasure burning nerves. The small objects popped and fizzled in Duo's mouth, massaging his burning flesh while they jumped up and down, whirling and flying in all directions like a swarm. They sparkled and popped, sizzling around his erection and tickling it with pleasure. Sometimes they pricked his sensitive flesh, eliciting loud groans from his mouth, making his body quake on the bed for the pleasure was so intense. It was like nothing he ever felt before.

His hands grabbed the sheets tightly, his knuckles white as he almost tore the thin fabric. He was trying to resist crying out so loudly and so often, moaning like a whore, but he just couldn't help it. Whatever Duo had in his mouth was driving him crazy, popping and jumping and dancing over his sensitive flesh. Added to that, was Duo's hot, wet and skilled tongue, which was licking, nibbling, sucking and teasing him along with the crackling objects.

A few more seconds of this fizzling treatment, and Heero was unable to take much more of it. With a finale scream, he came, exploding like a volcano in Duo's mouth. He could feel Duo's mouth work to milk him of his essence, and already was he lying slumped heavily against the bed, sated and out of energy. His eyes were wide and blind with pleasure, his hands clutching the sheets tightly. When he slowly slid off the waves of his orgasm, he turned his head, still panting, towards Duo. The young man was sitting on the bed, a smug look on his face and he was holding the small paper bag, licking the rest of its content.

"D-D-Duo..." Heero panted, his face flushed. "Wha-what was tha..."

Duo grinned and tossed the package towards him. "Popping Candy!" He announced with pride, jumping off the bed. He approached Heero, licking the sticky remains of the treat off his fingers. "Solo loves them! I think I do too..."

Heero blinked, not sure what to make of that comment. "You... you used candy?"

"Hm hmm." Duo answered, nodding his head casually.

"Oh." Heero let out, frowning. He sighed and looked away, closing his eyes slowly. "So you... didn't enjoy it." He stated sadly, his voice solemn. "Did you do it because you took pity of me?" He asked, turning to face Duo with an angry and stubborn face. "I don't like pity, Duo. I think you know that."

Instead of looking offended, Duo merely smiled and reached for Heero's hand. "I know, Heero." He whispered, and bent down to kiss him lightly on the lips. "And if I did do it out of pity, I wouldn't be feeling like..." He lifted Heero's hand and placed it over his heart. "...this." He finished, and Heero could feel Duo's heart beneath his palm, racing and beating frantically.

"Or like this" Duo added, moving Heero's hand down, and placing it over his own arousal.

Heero gasped. He cold feel the heat of Duos' arousal through the fabric of his pants, it was burning, large and hard. He swallowed and turned to look up at Duo, eyes wide in shock. "D-Duo..."

Duo smiled reassuringly, reaching his other hand to pet Heero's hair.

Heero smiled in content and closed his eyes, indulging himself in the feeling of Duo's hand in his hair. Slowly, carefully, he tightened his hold on Duo's arousal, squeezing it rhythmically. He could feel Duo's body stiff, and he smiled to himself as he heard him moan quietly in the dark. He let his hand trail up, taking Duo's zipper and then slowly pulling it down. He slid his hand into Duo's pants, moving slowly enough to let the young man regret this and pull away. But Duo did no such thing. Instead, he took Heero's hand and shoved it deeper into his trousers.

He moaned loudly, thrusting his head back, as Heero took hold of his straining passion. He was still standing by Heero's bed, his hands gripping it desperately for support as Heero's slender fingers closed around his erection. His pants felt crowded and leaking precum stained his boxers, but he was oblivious to all of that. All he knew was the mind-blowing combination of Heero's cool and smooth fingers, against his burning flesh. The long fingers petted him softly, just teasing as they trailed up and down his hard length.

Heero smiled and closed his eyes, indulging himself in the feeling of Duo in his hand, trembling with need and burning with desire. He stroked the velvet flesh slowly, in an agonizing pace, licking his lower lips as he heard Duo moan. He opened his eyes slowly, turning to look at the man who was leaning over the bed, his knuckles white as he held the sheets tightly. Duo's eyes were closed in pleasure and his lips were parted as his breath quickened. Heero smirked and closed his fist tightly around Duo's hard flesh, earning a loud groan from the man. He squeezed him again, rougher this time, and then quickly moved his hand inside Duo's pants, taking hold of Duo's heavy sack.

"ANNGG!!!" Duo called out, thrusting his head back, long chestnut strings swinging up and down under the force of his movement. His eyes were shut so tight that tears lingered onto his thin eyelashes, and his mouth was open like a drowning man trying to breathe.

"Oh God... Heero..." He whispered, voice strained with need, as Heero began stroking him, slowly at first and then moving faster. The movement of Heero's thin hand over his thick and blazing passion was heaven. It was rough and gentle at the same time. He stroked him fiercely, and then slowed down, driving Duo crazy and leaving him a trembling wreck of nerves, begging for release. He was begging incoherently for more, moaning and whimpering as Heero slowly picked up his pace again. He teased Duo like that again and again, brining him to the edge of the abyss, only to pull back and then push him there again. After a few long minutes of torturing bliss, the hand moving over his cock finally shoved Duo into that heavenly abyss, granting him sweet release. He came with a scream, uncaring that he was in a crowded room. His brain didn't exist anymore as he fell down into that blinding white abyss, winds of pleasure swirling around him as he spilled his passion into Heero's palm.

Sated and exhausted, Duo's feet finally gave way and he collapsed, sagging on the bed. He fell on top of Heero, panting and slightly shaking. His eyes were wide open, glazed over and obscured by a few long chestnut bangs.

A pair of calm blue eyes looked back at him, shining with warmth and content.

"That was one heck of a handjob..." Duo breathed, smirking slightly.

Heero nodded slowly, his lips twitching up in a tired smile. His eyelids were already moving heavily up and down, struggling to remain open. He looked like he was about to say something, and perhaps he was, but sleep came over him before he could manage to say a thing. Duo watched as Heero drifted into slumber, only now registering the feeling of Heero's hand wrapped around his own. Heero's hand was so cold and lifeless, that he could barely feel his touch. His hold was so weak and limp that it was hard to tell that Heero was holding his hand. He was getting weaker, withering right before his eyes. This beautiful flower didn't have long to blossom. And even though he had tried to show his love to Heero today, he still didn't say it. He still didn't let Heero hear those words... He just didn't have the time...

"I love you…" Duo whispered, climbing to the bed so he could lie beside Heero. He wrapped his arm around him and pulled the blanket to cover them both. He looked at Heero's sleeping face, beautiful and glowing with content of post-orgasmic afterglow. He reached a hand to brush a few thick bangs out of Heero's eyes, letting his fingers linger to the smooth skin for a while longer. It was still warm, just faintly, and even that was fading.

Duo whimpered and buried his face between Heero's neck and shoulder. "I love you..." He whispered again, but in his heart he knew that it didn't matter. It didn't matter if Heero couldn't hear him. It didn't matter if he'll keep on saying that... Heero would still die...

"I love you, Heero Yuy..." Duo whispered as his fingers played with Heero's soft hair, toying with the long strands that lay scattered over the thin pillow. He turned to look at Heero's serene face, his anguished violet eyes lingering to the sight of Heero's closed eyes, studying the way his thick and black eyelashes curled up gently where they rested against his delicate cheeks. He reached up and petted the tender skin, sniffling loudly in the dark. Soon these lovely eyes will never open again...

"I love you, ya hear..?" He whispered sadly, petting the soft skin under Heero's eyes. "I love you too..." He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Heero's cheek. He pulled back slowly, reaching down for Heero's hand and holding it tightly. He nuzzled his nose in Heero's hair, his lips brushing against the tender flesh of his ear. "I love you, Heero... I love you too..."

In his sleep, Heero tightened his hold around Duo's hand, and a small smile graced his lips. His eyes fluttered half open for a moment as Duo rested his head on his chest, wrapped his arms around him. The smile on Heero's pale lips broadened, as his half lidded eyes watch the top of Duo's head resting against his chest. He brought his arm up as well, hugging Duo as the man hugged him, and the two fell into sweet, peaceful, slumber.

Part 7.

Back.