Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Running Out Of Tomorrows ❯ Chapter 10

RUNNING OUT OF TOMORROWS

PART 10

* * *

The sound of coughing and gagging filled the small bathroom, echoing between bare walls. A sickening gurgling sound followed the suffocated coughs, and Duo Maxwell threw himself over the toilet, wild chestnut hair flying about him as he leaned down to vomit. The shoulder length hairs clung to his sweaty features as he retched over the white porcelain, tears lingering to his thin eyelashes. Dark and heavy bags were under his eyes, his face haggard from lack of sleep and illness.

His hand trembled as he reached to wipe the traces of vomit off his mouth, the sharp smell of it burning his nostrils. His entire frame seemed so small and fragile, like an old man who no longer had the strength to carry himself. The weight of years seemed to rest on the young man's shoulders as he heavily turned around and leaned his back on the toilet. Wearing a pair of ragged and thin hospital pajamas, his features pale and nearly gray, the young man really did resemble someone who was too frail and aged to live.

He moaned miserably and closed his eyes, feeling too ill to even breathe. He leaned his head back, trying to ignore the stanch he'd caused, and just wished he was dead. He felt so terribly ill and rotten, that death seemed like a welcomed bliss right now. Or at least, a few days of sleep... maybe even a year of hiding in comfortable darkness... It did sound like a great idea right now. It was better than feeling half dead... or was it?

It's been fourteen hours since he got out of surgery. A surgery to remove one of his kidneys and then transfer it to Heero. It wasn't such a dangerous surgical procedure, but with the poor conditions on L7, the short notice of the operation and the questionable doctor that performed it, the surgery was a major risk to his health. Not as risky as in Heero's case, though. The risk of performing the transplant and keeping Heero alive at the same time was far greater. The young man was so far gone, being on the verge of death, that the operation was even more dangerous than the one performed on Duo.

Of course, there was also the bigger risk that Heero's body will not accept the new organ. The doctor warned Duo before he gave up on a part of his body, that this procedure might be a complete failure. His kidney did not match Heero's. Their blood type was different. There was no way Heero's body could live with an inapt kidney. No chance... but one. A small chance, merely a glimmer of hope... an experimental treatment that might help Heero's body adjust to the new organ. It was a long shot, but so far it was working out pretty well. He could only hope that things would continue that way. Heero made it through the surgery and now... now all Duo could do was to wait, and pray that he will regain consciousness.

"Mister Maxwell?" A soft female voice called from the doorstep and Duo sent his tired violet eyes in that direction. He tensed a little as he recognized the young nurse standing at the doorway, and immediately he struggled to his feet.

"Is... is Heero..?" He whispered shakily, supporting himself on the toilet as he forced his shaking legs to stand. "Is he…?"

The young woman looked compassionately at him, and took a step closer to help him stand steadily. "Are you all right? Are you feeling ill again?" She asked with worry, her young green eyes shimmering in the dim light of the bathroom. "I could look for some more antibiotics... we might have some left..."

"Save it..." Duo whispered hoarsely, pushing himself away from her aiding hands and attempting to stand on his own. "Heero might need them..."

The young nurse bit her lower lip in thought, trying to stop herself from giving him another lecture. Though the young man suffered from an infection after the surgery- having it done in poor and unsuitable conditions - he refused treatment. Knowing what little resources this small (illegal) clinic had, he refused to take all of the remaining medicines for himself. He took as little as possible, leaving the rest for his friend (or as she suspected- lover).

"The doctor wants to see you." She finally found her voice to speak, aiding the longhaired man to walk out of the small bathroom. "It's regarding Mr. Yuy."

She could feel him tense in her hold, his whole body stiffening. He didn't say anything though, and his gaunt face remained a stony mask. He simply wiped the rest of the vomit off his chin and nodded his head.

* * *

Though he knew the way very well by now, he followed the nurse silently as she led him to the recovery room at the end of the hall. When he entered, his eyes immediately traveled to the center of the small room, where a lean and still figure lay silently on a bed. An oxygen tube was attached to his nose and an IV was leaking fluid into his left arm. His long fingers, looking pale and delicate, rested limply over the sheet, a few sensors attached to the slim digits. The sensors connected to the wave-form-monitors that displayed the young man's heartbeat and other life signs. Their soft beeping noise was the only sound to be heard in the room.

"Mister Maxwell, please come in." A familiar voice- one he heard often over the phone - invited and Duo sighed deeply. He shifted his gaze from Heero to the elderly figure sitting by a small desk, in the corner of the room. The desk was packed with medical supplies, various artifacts lying scattered over its metallic surface. He watched the old man pick up a syringe and stick the long needle into a small veil. He watched numbly as the doc filled the syringe with the clear liquid and then tested the needle by releasing a little spray of fluid. Duo swallowed hard, his gaze fixed on the sharp needle. It was very long. Very, very, long. Six or seven inches at least. Too long for his liking.

"What is that for?" He asked with a strained voice, trying hard to keep his tone from trembling. He felt sick again just by watching that needle. He had a bad feeling about what's going to be done with it.

The doctor smiled oddly and turned with his chair to face the young man. "It's a part of the treatment. Come, let me show you." He said too lightly than Duo would have liked him to speak. He got up from his seat and went to stand over Heero's bed. Duo followed, coming to stand on the opposite side.

"You're going to inject him with... with this?" He asked, horrified.

"This drug is the only thing that will help his body cope with the transplant. It will help him accept the alien organ." He explained casually, putting the syringe aside on a metal tray and turning back to Heero. "Help me turn him over." He asked, and Duo obeyed, helping the doc to gently turn the unconscious Heero so he was lying on his side.

"It needs to be applied directly to the new kidney." He continued his explanation, pulling Heero's gown up and exposing his slender body. His eyes didn't stay long to look at the fragile youth, and he hurried to disinfect a small area on Heero's lower back, where a thin, freshly red scar was marring the otherwise smooth skin of Heero's lower back. The scar was the size of a fist, and it had a twin on the other side of Heero's back, where the other kidney was removed. The doctor cleaned one scar swiftly and efficiently and then turned back to the metal tray.

"Come, lad, make yourself useful." He muttered, picking up the syringe and handing it to Duo.

Duo gulped, his eyes widening. "Why me?" He stuttered, looking terrified by the thought of injecting Heero with this long, sharp, needle.

"Because you're the one who's going to have to do this from now on. Well, if he survives, that is."

Duo ignored that last comment, his fists clenching and his jaw tensing. He stalked over to the doc's side, looking in determination at the needle he was holding. "Show me how."

The doctor smiled his cocky smile and handed Duo the syringe. He guided the young man's hand, showing him how to hold the needle properly. He kept his hand on Duo's as they moved the needle over the area he'd already disinfected, and a shudder went down Duo's spine as he watched the sharp edge make contact with Heero's pale skin, right below the scar. His skin covered with Goosebumps as he watched the needle slightly nudging the skin down, not breaking through yet. When he felt the doc push his hand further down to make the injection, he stopped him, refusing to move his own hand.

"It will hurt him." He said, turning his head back to look sharply at the doc. "I can't."

The doctor sighed irritably. "Yes, it will hurt him, but it will also keep him alive. What's one minute of pain compared to a life without you?" He snickered, both his tone and expression sarcastic. At Duo's none appreciating glare, he just sighed and shook his head. "Ah, just do it, damn it." He muttered, pushing Duo's hand down and pressing both their fingers on the edge of the syringe.

Duo felt bile climbing up his throat at the feeling of the needle breaking into Heero's body, skin, flesh and muscles protesting on the way. He was fighting off the vomit as he injected the drug, seeing blood ooze from where the needle was buried in Heero's back. He was feeling faint and ill as the doc helped him pull out the syringe, and he staggered back, panting when the long bloody needle was finally out.

On the bed, no longer having support to lie on his side, Heero's body dropped down limply as a log, so that the young man was lying on his back again.

Duo coughed, the sting of stomach acid in his throat. "That's... sick..." He rasped, his legs still shaking. "I don't think I can do it alone, doc."

"You'll have to." The doctor spat in annoyance, getting back to his desk. "Otherwise, what the hell did you just waste all that money for?!" He sat down at his chair and turned back to his work, turning his back to the shaken young man standing by the bed.

His vision was blurry with tears as Duo dropped down to his knees by Heero's bed and took hold of his love's limp hand. His breath was irregular from both shock and tears, and he held onto Heero's palm with both his hands, his head looking up at Heero's still and pale features. In that position, he looked like a saint praying for salvation, looking up at the one being that will answer all his prayers and give him happiness.

From the back of the room, the doctor's silent muttering could be barely heard as he shook his head sadly and continued to work. "Just pray that you'll get your money's worth, Mr. Maxwell..."

* * *

Heero have always enjoyed dreaming. It was the sweetest feeling he ever knew, one of the few things in life that brought him joy. Even as a child, even when everything a child could ever depend on, could ever hope and aspire for was taken away from him, he still enjoyed dreaming. That was the one thing no one could ever take from him. No one was able to go so deeply into his mind and pick the last blossoming flower that was struggling to live without any sunlight. True, sometimes he preferred not to dream. There were nights when he struggled against sleep, just to keep the demons away. But then... there were also the nights when he longed to fall into the deep webs of slumber and just... dream...

It was a perfect form of escape. A sort of freedom that he never had while awake. His mind, despite all the hardship and oppression it suffered, had a vivid imagination. A spirit that ached to be set free was one that could fly like no other on the winds of imagination. What he couldn't feel in life, what he was denied while he was awake, came to him in his dreams. Magnificent sights and warm feelings overtook him while sleeping. In his mind, there was an entire different world than the one he saw during the day. There was a different reality, different outcomes to his actions. Different choices people made... like staying by his side and never leaving him...

In his dreams, he was happy, and therefore he enjoyed dreaming. During the war he slept whenever he had a spare moment. It kept him sane, kept him going, despite that nagging feeling in the back of his head, the sad reminder that his joyful version of "reality" was only a dream. Nothing more than a hollow, unfulfilled dream...

This dream, like many of his nightly fantasies, featured Duo in it. This was the kind of dream he enjoyed most. More than dreams of flying, swimming with dolphin or climbing the Everest. This was a dream that made him feel loved. Content. Happy.

Duo was sitting by his bed, which was oddly small and uncomfortable considering this was a dream, his head leaning forward on the bed and his messy chestnut lying sprawled all over the mattress, tickling his forearm.

He could feel the heat emitting out of Duo's slumbering form, but that was not unusual for his dreams were always vivid and realistic. There was taste, and smell, sound and touch. Everything he was taught to ignore and never enjoy in real life. In his dreams, he knew all of these sensations, and he appreciated them. Like the touch of Duo's silken hair between his fingers, and the thick hot scent of sweat and cheap soap that engulfed him when he inhaled. It was not the usual smell that surrounded Duo, but nevertheless, it was bliss to be feeling all of this.

He never expected that the afterlife will allow him to dream. He always expected nothing but darkness, a never ending nothingness to welcome him once he died. He'd been there before, a few times, and though he was always saved in the end, he managed to have a glimpse at what was beyond. And it was always cold, dark and so very very alone...

He wondered if this could possibly be heaven. Perhaps heaven allowed people to dream... maybe it was just hell that left the dead alone in darkness. But what had he done to deserve this blissful dream? What did he ever do to send him to heaven..? He didn't even believe in such things as heaven and hell. The idea of the afterlife he could somehow handle, because he'd seen the darkness that's beyond death, felt its chill taking over his body, but he found it hard to believe in concepts such as heaven and hell. It will mean that he will have to believe in an entity that decided who deserved to go where, and he was not ready to believe in such an entity yet. Not just yet.

So... why was he thinking about it now? Why was he so confused? Why was he lying in a small bed, under warm sheets, holding onto Duo's hair and running it through his fingers? Why did he feel air and blood running through his body? How could this be possible?

A stirring from Duo made him forget this enigma for a short while as he turned to look at his beautiful lover open his eyes. There was numb emptiness there at first, a sense of desperation and hopelessness, which scared him quite a bit. But as time passed by slowly and those violet eyes kept gazing into his own, the look in them slowly changed. The tired and hopeless look gradually turned into a look of wonder and disbelief. Joy soon followed as Duo's eyes widened and his mouth opened with a stunned expression. Then, there was his smile. That wide, warm, loving smile that sent shivers down Heero's entire body. Duo's smile. That beautiful, hope inspiring, heart-warming smile. Seeing it once again was making tears flood his eyes. He was sure that he will be floating forever in darkness, and here he was... washed by that heavenly purple light...

"Duo..." He whispered, his voice weak and hoarse. It was another strange fact, because there was no reason for him to sound so ill in a dream. Perhaps he was just used to hearing his own voice so feeble and helpless, that he even dreamt of it that way.

"Heero." Duo's voice, on the other hand, did not change a bit. It was still that warm honey mixture that coated him each time Duo spoke. It was still the bittersweet sound that caressed his ears. That loving way Duo spoke his name... the very way he pronounced it... No one said his name the way Duo did. No one could ever make him long to hear the sound of his own name. Just Duo. It wasn't the fact that he was hearing his name... it was like hearing "I love you" each time Duo said it. Each time he called him. Each time he smiled at him.

"Is this... is this heaven..?" He asked, a film of black suddenly covering his vision, a blackness he soon related to the fact that his eyelids were refusing to remain open. It was odd... why would he be tired in a dream..?

The warm feeling of Duo's hand sent Goosebumps down his body, and he smiled tiredly at the man who was now hovering above him. Truly like an angel... with that warm smile being his beaconing light...

"No, Hee-chan." The bitter-honey voice spoke softly, another warm hand brushing over his forehead and pushing away a few messy bangs. "This is better... This is L7..."

He nearly chuckled at the joke, but he was too tired to make another sound. The blackness that was fluttering up and down his vision was taking over completely, urging him to keep his eyes shut. He was too weak to refuse.

"Not a... dream..?" He managed to whisper, his lips barely moving to form the words. He could feel warm lips caress his forehead and then the voice from above him chuckled.

"No, Heero. Not a dream." His hand was raised up and kissed, and Heero smiled sleepily at the tingling feeling. Just before all sound and feeling faded out, he could hear Duo whisper: "Welcome to tomorrow, Hee-chan. Thank you for coming back to me... I love you so much..."

Hearing those words was better than any dream he ever had, because this time... this time it was reality.

RUNNING OUT OF TOMORROWS

WELCOME TO TOMORROW

PART 1

* * *

"But I dun wanna go there! I dun wanna! No! No! No! I dun wanna! Dun wanna! I DUN WANNA!!!!!"

Solo's screams filled the large terminal, making a few passerbys stop in their tracks and stare at the little boy who was kicking and screaming as his mother dragged him through the large hall. They just stood there, their luggage at their feet, and stared stunned at the sight.

"Solo, quit making a scene." Hilde whispered harshly, her face red from both embarrassment and anger. As if the trouble Solo was giving her was not enough, she also had to deal with people staring at her with criticizing eyes. She just knew that they all had something to say about her parental skills, and that angered her even more.

"Solo! Quit it!" She barked, whirling around to glare at the little boy who was pushing and kicking and trying anything in his power to keep her from dragging him throughout the spaceport.

"But I dun wanna go! I want to stay in the car! I dun wanna go! I want to go home!" The little boy whined, a pair of burning blue eyes, glistering with both tears and anger, glaring up at his mother. "I don't want to go! I don't wanna see him! I want to go home!"

With a heavy sigh, Hilde forced herself to calm down, and slowly knelt in front of her son. She took his little hand in hers, wincing as she noticed that Solo didn't release his clenched fists even when she held his hand.

"Solo, honey, don't you want to go see daddy?" She asked softly, looking compassionately into his big blue eyes.

"No." The little boy let out, turning his head away from her anguished eyes. He fixed his stubborn face on the large LCD screen that displayed the flight information, looking numbly at the flashing numbers that danced across the screen. It was better than looking into his mother's hurt expression. He didn't want to make her sad, but he didn't want to just give in and go with her. He just didn't!

"Sweetheart, daddy's been wanting to see you for so long... he was really sad when you didn't want to talk with him on the phone... don't you think he'll be sad when he'll come and you won't be there to see him?"

"I don't care." He let out in a quiet and stubborn voice, his little heart aching with guilt. But he shoved it aside. He shouldn't be feeling guilty! His daddy deserved it! Every bit of it! And besides...

"I don't want to see him and I don't want to see Hero!"

Hilde sighed sadly, bowing her head. "His name is Heero, honey, not Hero."

Solo snorted, jerking his hand away from his mother's grasp. "I don't care. I don't want to see him!" He spat in anger, turning to glare at his mother, his lips pouting stubbornly. "Why did he have to come? Why can't daddy just come home and that's it?"

"He is coming home, Solo. His shuttle is just about to land. He's coming home. Don't you want to come and say hello?"

"If he's really coming home, why did he have to bring Hero? I don't want him to come! He doesn't have a place to live here!"

Hilde was quiet for a while, struggling to find a way to explain her son what she'd been avoiding telling him ever since Duo called, and announced his upcoming return. She knew that Solo will not be able to accept it. She knew that the boy was still angry. Still hurt from betrayal and loss. But she also knew that she'll have to tell him sooner or later... and now was her last chance.

Sighing deeply, she took both her son's hands in hers, and looked deeply into his eyes. The little boy stood quietly before her, his anguished blue eyes sad and confused. She could see tears begin to shine in those large blue eyes, and her heart bled with pain and sympathy.

"Solo, honey... Heero will have a place to live when he comes... he's going to live with your daddy." She could see the hurt and anger double in their intensity, reflecting in his eyes, which were still so young... There shouldn't be such a look in the eyes of someone so young... her son... her poor little baby boy... Her heart came out to him... she felt so badly for him... Tears weld in her eyes and she pulled him into a tight hug, embracing him and petting the back of his head at the same time.

"But you can make a choice, Solo. You can decide to go home with daddy, or with me. It's your decision, honey. I know you've waited so long for daddy to come home... and I know it's hard... but Heero is going to come home with daddy if you want it or not. Your daddy loves Heero."

For a few long moments, Solo just stood frozen in his mother's embrace, his small shoulders slumped and his heart heavy. He blinked, his gaze numb, and slowly turned to look up at the large screen that hung above them, flashing lights and numbers. "He... loves him..? More... more than me..?"

His little lips trembled as he asked that question, tears leaking down his cheeky face.

"No, Solo. No. Never." His mother cried, holding him even tighter. "You're his son... of course he loves you more than anything in the world! But he... he loves Heero too. He wants to live with both of you."

But he... he didn't want to live with Hero... he didn't want to share his father's love... he didn't want to wake up every morning and see the person who took his daddy away for so long... He didn't want to see him at all! But... but... but he wanted to be with his daddy. He wanted to go home with daddy... he wanted them to live together, so things could be like they used to. And if Hero will be there... if he'll come too... things will never be back to the way they used to be. Didn't his daddy know that? Didn't he realize it? Why was he bringing Hero along? Why did he love him too? Why was he so important? Why so suddenly? Why out of nowhere? Why? Why. . .?

* * *

The minute Duo stepped off the shuttle, he was filled with an overwhelming sense of excitement. This powerful and tingling feeling flooded him and he began speeding up his pace down the long hallways leading to the terminal. His traveler's bag bounced violently up and down as he rushed past the crowd, towards the Arrivals Terminal, where he knew his son was waiting. He couldn't wait to see his little-man!

He was so caught up in the expectation of seeing his son, that he nearly failed to notice the fact that Heero was falling behind, having a hard time to keep up with his pace. The young Japanese man was still recovering from his fatal illness, having made only a small progress towards total recovery. He was still very weak, and he tired easily. He was also unaccustomed to so much walking, after lying in a hospital bed for the last few months.

Despite the fact that he was having a hard time to keep up with Duo, dragging off behind, Heero didn't utter a single word of compliant. He knew how much Duo was looking forward to finally see his son, and he did not wish to keep him back. That's why it took Duo a while to realize that Heero wasn't behind him anymore. He stopped, whirling around with wide and panicking eyes, searching the crowd frantically. Finally, after the crowd scattered a bit more, he spotted his lover. Clad in worn-out jeans, a shabby black t-shirt and a rather large - unbuttoned - white shirt, Heero was struggling to make his way down the wide hallway. The small bag he was carrying, containing nothing more than a small change of clothes and a few minor belongings, was slipping off his slender shoulder as he labored to catch up with his lover.

Duo's eyes widened when he realized that Heero was determined not to complain about his hardship. His eyes then narrowed in irritation and the young man stalked back towards his lover, glaring.

"Heero, if you want me to slow down just say so, for God's sake." He muttered, taking Heero's small bag from him and loading it over his shoulder before the young man could even protest. He watched as Heero took a minute to catch his breath, panting heavily before he was able to speak back.

"Didn't... want to... keep you... back..." He finally rasped, coughing lightly after he spoke. His cheeks were flushed from the exercise he was putting his body through, and a sheen of sweat was glistering over his forehead. "Think I should... sit down... for a while..." He whispered in a tired voice, taking a shaky step towards a small bench by the wall. "You go... on... ahead..." He encouraged, settling down heavily, grateful to give his body some rest. He peeled the white shirt off, remaining only in his shabby old t-shirt, and wiped the sweat off his brow. " I'll... catch up..."

Duo frowned, not at Heero but at himself. He was acting way too selfishly... though he couldn't help it. He missed his son so much... he didn't speak with him for what felt like ages, and he longed to hold his little-man in his arms. True, it was all his fault for not doing these things for so long, he's been so concentrated on saving Heero, but he was hoping that he will be able to make up for all the time lost to him and his son. And he had a bag full of presents just to prove that!

But... seeing the joyful look on his son's face would have to wait just a little while longer. For now, he had to be a little more considerate towards his lover, who was looking pretty beat. A long shuttle flight and rushing down the spaceport was more than Heero could handle right now.

Sighing, Duo put their bags down and came to sit beside Heero. The young Japanese man was leaning back heavily against the bench, his head leaning back as well and his eyes closed. Duo reached for his hand, placing his palm over Heero's warm hand and then curling their fingers together. Heero opened his eyes to look at him, a look of confusion flashing briefly in his eyes.

Duo just smiled kindly and squeezed his hand. Heero smiled as well, and squeezed back.

* * *

"He's not coming." Solo stated bitterly, stomping his little foot on the terminal's floor. All the passengers of the L7 shuttle came out minutes ago, and his daddy was not among them. "He just forgot."

"Don't be silly, Solo." His mother said as lightly as she could, though her worried eyes were looking uncertainly at the doorway leading out of the Arrival's Hall and into the terminal. It was nearly deserted, and there was no sign of her ex-husband. Where was that fool?! Why did he have to disappoint every single time?! Didn't he know what he was doing to his son?!

Duo had no idea... he was simply clueless about the trust he broke. About the little heart he left shattered... She was sure that her ex-husband had no bad intentions... no cruel intents what so ever, but the facts still remained that he was losing his own son.

Part 11.

Back.