Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Salesman ❯ Flame Review Spoof! ( Chapter 1 )

This is my first official flame and I have decided to make this person a complete and total idiot because they pissed me off!

Very simple process!

*The flame will be done in italics*

From: Mikaku8793

You are a disgrace to all writers and to all car sellers! I can't believe that you presumed to use a corvette for that trash!! I own a corvette and I could not possibly be more disgusted! How dare you write something like that to trash their good name! Fuck you!

I am a Christian and I am disgutsed by your vulgarness! Sex between two men is wrong and dirty!! God will spite you for writing this trash!! You deserve to rot in hell and I hope you do! It is a just punishment for this sin. You and all the other despicable people who write shit like this deserve to die!

Here is the part where I now mock how stupid this person is. It did make me laugh. This reviewer alternates between being very over-wordy and well, just plain stupid and coarse. I shall now disect it piece by piece and laugh at it more.

You are a disgrace to all writers and to all car sellers!

Okay, not only does this line seem completely stupid to me but what the hell is up with the car seller comment? Tons of teens have sex in the back seats of cars, why can't I write about it?

I can't believe you presumed to use a Corvette for that trash!

*blink* Unless this reviewwer owns the Corvette company, I don't see why this is so offensive. It is just confusing me.

I own a Corvette and I could not possibly be more disgusted!

Ah, now the truth comes out! The reviewer owns a Corvette and I still don't get it. It's not like I let those two horny idiots in the back of his/her car. (As a note I don't know if this reviewer is a guy or a girl, but I really don't give a shit and I'll probably slip up and use both.)

Duo: "Hey!"

Aria: "Deny it."

Duo: *grumbles* "Fuck you."

Heero: "Gladly." *grabs Duo and hauls him into bedroom*

Aria: "See what I mean?"

How dare you write something like that to trash their good name!

Okay, first of all, who says stuff like that? 'How dare you...' what are we in the fuckin 18th century? (No offense to people who lived in the 18th) Second of all this person is obsessed with Corvette, maybe just pissed off that he/she knows that they will never get hot kinky sex in the back of their car. Did Corvette even have a good name in the first place?

Fuck you!

*gags* I would never be that fuckin desperate if they were the last person on Earth. On top of that, I really don't need offers from random people. It scares me slightly. Only slightly.

I am a Christian and I am disgusted by your vulgarness!

*smirk* News for ya, I'm a Christian too, and a devout one. Means being openminded and not shuting anyone out for pointless reasons. *shrug* If I am too vulgar sometimes (and I know I am) it is my business and it is a part of who I am. Deal with it fucker.

Sex between two men is wrong and dirty!!

Ooo. I'm going to have fun with this one. Two exclamation marks must mean that he/she is serious. I have to be serious too. Yes, sex between two men is dirty/kinky depending on the use of toys, positions, places and the like, oh and drag dress counts too. It isn't wrong, people are meant to be who they are and not live up to a social image. I'd say it is you who are wrong and dirty and just seriously fucked up. *laughs* I think I am having way too much fun.

God will spite you for writing this trash!!

Oo. Two exclamation marks again, come on, that gets old in about three seconds. As for god spiting me, *shrug* I'll deal. If I go to hell for writing this I'll go to hell happily and work on converting more innocent people to reading my stuff. And may I say that it isn't trash! I've had quite enough people tell me so and I do believe it!

You deserve to rot in hell and I hope you do!

We already covered this. *sticks tongue out* What you hope ain't gonna happen dude so deal with it and get a life outside of your hand! *snicker* (I have decided that this a guy since I don't think a girl would rant about cars)

It is just a punishment for this sin.

*perks up* Punishment can be fun. So can sins. What do you call making love/sex/fucking in the first place? Dirty punishment is the best, handcuffs and vibrators galore!!

You and all the other people despicable people who write shit like this deserve to die!

*blinks and laughs* You are so motherfuckin righteous! *growls* But don't you dare threaten my friends, cause then......I'll lock you in a room with:

HeeroxDuo

TrowaxQuatre

TreizexZechsxWufei

JackxWill (from PotC)

YugixYami

BakuraxRyou

MarikxMalik

SetoxJoey

DavidxLestatxQuinn (Vampire Chronicles)

and other random couples I decided to throw in there. The above are my fav's that I think I can kidnap and stick in there for an orgy of some kind. Then you'll really be in hell. *evil smirk* And I'll be standing there ready to welcome you! LOVE!