Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Sandrock was no more ❯ chapter three ( Chapter 4 )

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Chapter three

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Trowa leaned against the railing of the bridge, just staring into the deep murky waters below. Without his permission, his thoughts began to drift towards that blonde angel that he had lost.

/The gentle smile…/

After the destruction of Sandrock, Trowa had been devastated. For days he neither ate nor slept. He couldn't seem to move past the tremendous pain that plagued his heart.

/Those kind aquamarine eyes…/

He then refused to believe that his love was gone. He spent days on the computer, searching hospitals and clinics, for any sign that Quatre had been admitted. He also looked in other safe houses and Quatre's favorite locations on earth. But there was nothing.

/Eyes that held love and kindness…/

He searched everywhere he could. The Maganac weren't much help either. They didn't hold up the hope that their young master had survived.

/Gentle locks of pale spun gold…/

`Hiiro survived self-destruction! I survived out in empty space! Why couldn't he have survived too?' Trowa had argued.

/His warm embrace…/

`He's just as strong as any of us!" He had insisted.

/Gentle, passionate kiss…/

`His body was probably incinerated in the explosion.' Hiiro had said.

/Loving touch…/

Trowa had punched him for that remark.

/His steady breath…/

The date set for his love's funeral came. They had postponed it for weeks until the official report had been written up. The cause of Sandrock's destruction had been a bomb.

They still had no idea who had planted it. Trowa had looked. Trowa had looked thoroughly. But like Quatre's disappearance, nothing came up.

/Happy, content laugh…/

The funeral made everything so final.

/His empathic sense…/

Trowa didn't want to give up, but the funeral made everything so… final.

/Caring heart…/

He watched as they had lowered the empty casket into the grave. He heard the weeping of Quatre's sisters. He saw Duo's sorrow because he had lost his best friend. He saw the guilt written on both Hiiro and Wu Fei's faces because the little blonde had been sent on the mission instead of them. He took all of this in, becoming all the while more and more lost in his own grief.

/The comfort he gave…/

The funeral made it final.

/The love he sought…/

His Quatre was gone.

/The love he sought from Trowa./

Quatre was dead.

/The love they had together./

And so was Trowa.

/`I'd never forgive myself if… if…'/

He'd failed. Failed to protect his little one.

/`I'd never forgive myself if… if…'/

In those first few days after the funeral, Trowa had locked himself in the room that he and Quatre had shared. He had gone into their bathroom.

/`I know you're strong…'/

He found Quatre's medications. Pills for the pain he frequently had endured.

/`Stronger than any of us…'/

Trowa had taken those pills. All of them.

/`I don't want to lose you…"/

With alcohol.

/`I want to love and protect you…'/

He had collapsed in a heap on the floor, waiting to be with his sweet Quatre again.

/`Quatre…'/

Hiiro and Wu Fei found him. Duo called the medics.

/`I'm sorry, Quatre…'/

He woke up in the hospital.

/`I don't want to lose you…'/

His Quatre was no where to be seen.

/`Hurry back, Quatre.'/

He had been saved.

/`I promise, Trowa…'/

He had been denied death.

/`I don't want to lose you…'/

Now he was alone.

/`I think you're stronger than anyone else…'/

Now Trowa was constantly being watched. The others had lost one comrade, they weren't about to lose another.

/Stronger than me…/

That's when the routine was established.

/Quatre…/

They didn't want him to die, so they constantly guarded and surveyed him.

/Come back to me, Quatre…/

He didn't want to live, so he quite caring. He just went through the motions to appease them.

/Don't leave me, Quatre…/

Now they wanted to erase Quatre - make him forget.

/`I don't want to lose you…'/

To forget him…

/There's a saying…/

He couldn't forget…

/It's better to have loved and lost…/

He didn't want to forget…

/Then to have never loved at all…/

But maybe it would be for the best…

/It was wrong…/

…if he had never loved the little Arabian.

/`I'll always return to you…'/

It'd be best…

/`I love you, Quatre.'/

If he had never known him.

/`I love you too.'/

Then he wouldn't hurt…

/`I'll always return…'/

Then he wouldn't be alone.

"Quatre…"

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/`Quatre…'/

The tea cup slipped through his fingers smashing to the tiled floor. Mathew's shaking hands went to his chest as he fell to his knees, doubled over in searing agony. His breath seemed to be caught in his throat along with the scream that wanted to tear itself from him.

`What is this?' The panicked thought echoed in his head.

"MATHEW!!" Robin shrieked running to his side, "WHAT'S WRONG!"

"It hurts… my chest… someone… someone's in pain." He gasped out between gritted teeth. "T…Trowa…" he whispered falling unconscious.

"HOLD ON!" Robin ordered, scrambling to the phone. Hastily, she called for an ambulance. `Please, don't leave me Mathew.' She silently begged holding him close as the waited. "Hang in there, Mathew."

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To be continued…