Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Sawing Logs ❯ Sawing Logs ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing and I make no money from this or any other story I write.

Pairings: 1+2, 3+4

Category: Humor

Rating: PG

Warnings: Silliness

Title: Sawing Logs

Author: yellowhorde

Status: Finished

You can visit my humble web page, yellowhorde's house, at: http://www.webspawner.com/users/yellowhorde/index.html

Or feel free to send comments/constructive criticism to me at yellowhorde@hotmail.com

SAWING LOGS

The G-Boys are out camping. After a long day of hiking, they set up camp. Duo cooks dinner.

Wufei: What IS this stuff, Maxwell (stares in disbelief at the stuff on his plate. It looks very unappetizing.

Duo: It's food…Duh!

Heero: Not by any known definition of the word (grimaces as he sniffs at the stuff)

Duo: (defensively) If you don't like my cooking, you can cook dinner tomorrow.

Quatre: (chokes after eating a bite). That's not such a bad idea…

Trowa silently eats his dinner without protest. Food is food, after all.

Bedtime.

Duo wakes up with a start. He heard some sort of noise. Couldn't identify it, didn't know what to make of it. Bear maybe, or tiger… who knows. He had not realized how very dark it got outside of the city limits. He cannot even see his hand before his face. He gropes over to his left where Heero's sleeping bag is. He comes in contact with a pair of feet. Heero moves a lot while sleeping. Duo starts to tug at Heero's feet. While at the same time he searches frantically for the flash light that by rights should be right by him, since that is where he left it before going to sleep. He finally finds it in the dark. Clutches it to him with panicky tightness.

Duo: (whispering urgently) Hey, Heero! Wake up, man! (He gets no response for a moment so he tickles the bottoms of Heero's soles with the tip of his long, chestnut braid. That DOES get a reaction.

Heero: (grunts and pulls his feet away from his tormenter.) I am TRYING to sleep here, Duo! (Groggily) If you value your life, I suggest you stop that right now (refers to the tickling.)

Duo: (whining slightly in fear) But, Heero… I thought I heard something…

The sound is heard again. Heero sits up and goes over towards Duo, supposedly to offer comfort. Maybe he was nervous. Ha ha.

Heero: What the hell was that?

There is a sound of cloth rustling off to Duo's right. Duo switches on the powerful light, pointing it in the direction of this new sound.

Wufei: (screams in pain) Maxwell! Goddamn it! Get that light out of my eyes! (He is naturally irritated. He holds his hand up protectively in front of his face and peers blindly about him.

Duo: (points the light up towards the ceiling of the tent. Filling the interior with dim illumination.) Whoops, sorry Wu-man!

The sound is heard again.

Duo swivels the light towards the sound. It is coming from Quatre…He is snoring.

Duo: (heaving a sigh of relief) Sorry, guys! Guess I must have panicked there. (Chuckles in embarrassment)

Wufei throws his pillow at Duo's face. It hits with a soft poof! Duo throws it back.

Heero shakes his head in silence. Sighs

Duo: (reaches over Heero and shakes the sleeping Quatre.) Hey, Quatre! Hey, man! You're snoring!

Quatre: (mumbling sleepily) Sorry, guys (falls back to sleep)

The G-Boys go back to sleep. Some time later, Quatre's snoring once again wakes Duo and the others up.

Duo: Oh, man!

Wufei: Not again!

Heero: grunts noncommittally.

The light is switched on again.

Duo: (noticing that Trowa is still asleep and he is more than a little envious) How can he sleep through that racket?

Wufei: (in awe) He sleeps like the dead…

Heero: Well, I guess he is used to it. After all they sleep in the same room, hell, the same bed even.

Duo: Maybe his IS dead, you guys. (Receives twin glares from his companions) Joking! I'm just joking! Jeez!

Heero: (getting down to business at hand) What are we going to do about Quatre's snoring?

Duo: Maybe if we get him to roll over. (Quatre is now sleeping on his back, his arms and legs akimbo)

Wufei: What if we plug his nose?

Duo: (reaches across and shakes the sleeping Quatre. Not as gently as before. Lack of sleep will do that to you, you know?) Hey, Quatre (he hisses) Roll over! You're snoring again, man!

Quatre rolls over without a word. Silence resumes.

The third time in the night Quatre's snoring awakens them. The boys are none too happy.

Duo: Jesus Christ, Quatre!

Wufei: (without a word he crawls over both Duo and Heero, he accidentally knees poor Duo in the crotch.) Sorry, Maxwell (He pinches Quatre's nostrils closed. Silence again. He is a little more careful when returning to his sleeping bag. Duo is writhing in agony; small whimpers of pain escaping from his throat.

Fourth time!

The G-Boys are more than a little pissed, let me tell you!

Heero: Let's just shoot him…(reaches for pistol he kept hidden under his pillow)

Duo: (clutches at his boyfriend's arm as he takes aim.) No! You can't do that, Heero! He's our friend!

Heero: Then what do you suggest we do? (Returns pistol to its former position)

Wufei: Well, we could move our sleeping bags outside…

Duo: (scoffs at the suggestion) Yeah, right! Why not just ring the god damned dinner bell while you're at it, Wu-man! We'd be eaten alive by all those bloodsucking beasties outside. (He is, of course, referring to the mosquitoes.)

All three of them try to sleep despite the noise of Quatre's snores. They cannot believe that Trowa is sleeping through it so peacefully. After a while, there is the sound of rustling cloth. Then the tent's entrance is unzipped.

Wufei: I can't stand this anymore…I am going to take my chances with the mosquitoes.

Heero: (Also gathering sleeping bag) I'm with you, Wufei.

Duo: (hurriedly gathering his stuff) Hey, wait for me, you guys!

The Next Morning…

Heero, Duo, and Wufei are huddled around the small campfire. They are drinking STRONG coffee. They are all covered with bug bites from head to toe. Quatre emerges from the tent looking bright eyed and bushy tailed, if slightly sleep rumpled.

Quatre: Morning all! (He seems oblivious of the four hateful stares thrown at him like daggers.) The young man stretches hugely and sets off into the woods to answer Nature's call.

Shortly after Quatre's departure, Trowa pops his head out of the tent entrance. His hair is in wild disarray, bangs sticking straight up. He takes in the scene at the campfire and then pulls his head back into the tent. Moments later he returns, his hair apparently having been combed into submission.

Trowa: (sitting down next to the fire) Good morning, everyone.

Sullen nods all around. Duo silently hands over a steaming mug of coffee.

Wufei: (unable to contain his curiosity) How do you get any sleep with all that racket, Trowa?

Trowa raises his eyebrows in questioning response. Then he sets down his mug and reaches towards his ears. The G-Boys stare in disbelief as he carefully removes a set of earplugs then slips them into his jean pockets.

Trowa: I'm sorry, could you repeat that?

Duo, Heero and Wufei stare at the banged boy in total disbelief. Life was SO unfair!

Trowa: (smiling sheepishly) I guess I forgot to tell you that Quatre snores.

THE END