Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Scurvy, Jolly Rogers and a Whole Lotta Booty ❯ The Palm Beach Fiasco ( Chapter 2 )

The Palm Beach Fiasco

By Morning The Zero Star was closing in on its destination. Trowa sat in the look out tower, trying on various outfits because he was such a slave to fashion. But he ended up looking the exact same every time. That's what you get with twenty pairs of the same outfit, there's not much room for versatility. He popped his head out and smiled at the sight of land.

I hope I can find some great deals, he thought before remembering he was a pirate. So he could just loot what he wanted and not leave a dime.

"Land Ho!" he cried down to Captain Heero who still stood at the wheel.

Heero looked up at his first mate, unimpressed. "Trowa, the land has been in sight for the last hour. You were too busy fooling around up there to notice."

Trowa leaned back, his feelings hurt. He tried so hard to look good, but no one seemed to notice his effort. They only made fun of him.

"Trowa, you take too long in the bathroom," but how else would my hair be such perfection?

"Trowa, you wear girl clothes," but there was no gender specification when I bought these.

He sighed. Maybe someday he could find someone to understand and appreciate him. Someday.

Meanwhile, Captain Heero was pondering why exactly he had let Trowa and Wu Fei live so long. He was notorious at killing off members of his crew. Once he had killed his entire crew, and had to run the ship all alone. A mistake not to be repeated. Then it came to him, Trowa and Wu Fei were the best crew members ever aboard The Zero Star, and this simple fact depressed Captain Heero greatly.

Perhaps, I can find some more able bodied men to crew this ship along with those two. And the corner of his mouth rose a centimeter.

Wu Fei sat bitterly in the corner cursing Captain Heero's existence. His eyes burned with hate at this punishment, it was so childish. But there was nothing he could do about it. And no matter how he felt about Captain Heero at one moment, it would change in the next. He felt great admiration for the man, even if he tried to hide it.

One day I'll show Captain Heero what I'm worth, he thought, and he'll respect me. I'll loot as much as I can! I'll kill everyone who steps in my way! I'll even learn to read a map correctly! And with that, he picked up the map and began studying it intensely.


* * *

After a horrible night of restless sleep Quatre was brought out onto the stage. He had tried to resist, to refuse, to reason, but alas rules were rules. And he had lost, this was what would have happened to anyone. Although, he found it very strange considering he was male.

That's just being sexist, he told himself, here in Palm Beach they must not discriminate like that.

He took his seat, and pulled at the clothes they had given him. They were not what Quatre was used to, and very uncomfortable.

I hope no one picks me, he thought, maybe then I can go home.

He paused a moment on thoughts of home, but then became frightened again. If father ever found out I'd hate to think what he would do. I'd be better off if I were killed by pirates, and he tried to hold back his sobs.


* * *

Duo awoke from the best night's sleep he'd ever gotten, and patted the cot fondly. "If I lived, I would have bought something like you," he told the portable mattress, "but as it is, thanks for a great night."

He could see the hanging platform through the window of his cell. They're sure efficient here in Palm Beach, he thought, and gazed at the ocean beyond it.

"Home sweet home, I'll join you soon," he told the waiting ocean. And he smiled as the jailer pulled him out of the cell.

He went willingly, no need to fight after all, and kept his eyes locked on the massive sea. A ship was docking. A large schooner, blue and white. The Zero Star.

"If it isn't my lucky day," he whispered as they fitted the rope around his neck.

"Hey, that's kinda tight," he told the executioner, who only scoffed.

"Any last words, Mr. Maxwell?" asked the presiding judge.

Duo smiled. "Why? I don't plan on dying."

The crowd that had gathered round to watch the execution were very disappointed at these last words, but that didn't bother Duo in the least. He meant it. Even as they positioned his feet over the trap door, and tightened the noose around his neck.


* * *

After they docked there had been some degree of commotion around, but Trowa wasn't paying too much attention. He had a task to accomplish, and nothing would distract him. Only now, after wandering around the tourist strip malls he was becoming distracted. There was absolutely nothing he wanted to loot. Sure, the new shipment of Beanie Babies were cute, but they were so five minutes ago. He wanted something useful, and beautiful. Then he heard it, a call. Just what he was looking for.

"Wench for sale."

Trowa hurried toward the sound. He had heard that wenches could be extremely useful. They were supposed to cook and clean, which The Zero Star needed. But they were also supposed to be kind, and caring. Which was just what Trowa needed.

As he neared he saw a small stage lined with various wenches, some tall, some short, some skinny, some fat. But none of these caught his attention. For his eyes were fixed on the most beautiful wench of all.


* * *

Captain Heero had no idea what had gotten into Wu Fei, who had been carrying on like an mental case when he jumped on the dock. But he didn't spend too much time worrying about it. Wu Fei's mental health had always been questioned by the Captain. Besides, he was on a very important mission. Restoring the supply of diet rum to The Zero Star, and there was no place better to do this than Joe's Rum Emporium. There was no other rum emporium with such a grand selection, plus they let you have free samples.

As he neared the warehouse that Joe's Rum Emporium was located in, he noticed all the windows had been boarded up.

"What?!" he said aloud to himself, and ran to find out why.

When he arrived at the door he noticed a note nailed to it, he hoped it read: "Gone fishing," or something else non permeant. To his heart's dismay, it was much grimmer, reading: "Joe's Rum Emporium has been put out of business by the constant looting of pirates, such as Captain Heero. Please try another dealer for your rum needs."

This was horrible news, and Captain Heero took it as such. Although no one watching him would have noticed anything different about his composer. Then he walked away in search of another rum shop.


* * *

Okay, thought Wu Fei, this had better work. Then he jumped off The Zero Star.

"This here is the great pirate Captain Heero Yuy!!!" he screamed at the crowd, pulling out his cutlass. "If you don't run we will strike you down dead!!! We will loot your houses and take any booty was want!!!! Be afraid of us, or die!!!!!"

As Wu Fei spouted this rehearsed speech he smiled to himself. The crowd was scattering, and two large men where approaching him with knives. He laughed at their meager effort.

"Weren't you listening to me? I said be afraid or die!!!" And he threw five razor sharp Chinese stars in there direction. Three hit, the other two were lost.

He then cut down the attacking men and screamed at the top of his lungs. Anyone remaining fled for their life from this seemingly insane Chinese man, and Wu Fei stood alone on the dock with a smile resting on his lips. Mission accomplished.


* * *

Duo really didn't have an escape plan, he only hoped his prayers would be answered. So even he was surprised when the rope around his neck broke right before they released the trap door and he fell through it.

As he coughed and rubbed his neck he laughed. "Thank you, God. I knew it wasn't my time." Then he looked up to see the cause of his death defying escape. Could it be a beautiful woman who couldn't stand to see such a handsome man hang? Well, no. All he saw was a Chinese star lodged into the wood next to the rest of the rope.


* * *

Quatre had only been on the auction block for ten minutes, but the price was already sky high. He couldn't understand it. Why did everyone want to purchase him? And even more perplexing, why did everyone believe he was a wench?

As the price rose a young man stepped out from the crowd, a musket in his hand.

"I'll take that wench," he said, motioning the gun toward Quatre. "But, I'll take her for free. And if anyone tries to stop me, beware. I am a crew member on Captain Heero's ship, The Zero Star." With this simple declaration Quatre could see the crowd shake in its boots.

He must be a pirate, Quatre thought, but I've never heard of this Captain Heero. Is he more dreaded than the ghost pirate Treize? If he was I'm sure I would have heard about his looting. All this was racing through innocent Quatre's head as the horrible pirate grabbed him by the arm. Although, this pirate didn't look particularly horrible. Just silly. In fact, Quatre was sure his mother had the exact same outfit. Of course he didn't say any of this to the pirate. He just hurried along with him as fast as he could, and lifted up his skirt to avoid getting too dirty.


* * *

The Rum District was a place where all the drunkards of Palm Beach came for their fill of the brown alcohol. They staggered along the street, from bar to bar, rum shop to rum shop, in search of more booze. Needless to say, rum was quite the popular drink. Captain Heero had been fond of rum since he was a child and his mother weaned him on it. It was amazing he hadn't become a lush, but the rum didn't have an affect on him in the least. He strolled through the district disgusted by the masses of drunks, kicking some that got in his way.

He entered a promising looking rum dealer and approached the man at the counter. "I want forty barrels of diet rum delivered to my ship, The Zero Star, immediately," Captain Heero demanded.

The man at the counter looked at him for a moment in confusion. "What the bloody hell is diet rum?" he finally asked.

Captain Heero, being the pirate that he is, does not stand for such insubordination. He drew his cutlass and pressed it to the unfortunate man's neck.

"Diet rum," he explained, "is rum with fifty percent less calories than the original, but still contains the rummy flavor we all enjoy."

The man's eyes were wide with panic. "Oh, we call that skinny rum. It's in the back. I'll get some blokes to deliver it for you."

Captain Heero lowered his cutlass and exited the shop, pleased with himself.



* * *

After taking a moment to regain his breath, Duo headed for the docked ship. He hurried onboard and below deck without a soul noticing, thanks to that Chinese guy causing such a ruckus. He took a moment to raid the icebox and make a sandwich. Then finally settled down by a window to watch the crew return.

"I never thought I'd be a stowaway," he said, taking a bite out of the sandwich.

He watched the crazy Chinese guy jump back on board, followed by two men dressed in women's clothing. This caused Duo to raise an eyebrow, but pirates were known for being rather odd. Then he watched twenty men with two barrels a piece load the ship, they were directed by a guy who was dressed like Captain Hook.

But he died five years ago, Duo thought shrugging it off.

He eventually leaned back and smiled at himself. "I told you I'd be back, baby," he said and closed his eyes for a brief nap.