'I've noticed that I have become dependent upon, Duo. Dependent upon his voice, depended on the feel of his eyes upon me, dependent upon his need for me to be everywhere he is, and I don't know how to feel about that. I've never been dependent upon anything--Until him.'

Shattered Chaos

Chapter 6: Acceptance

By: CobaltPrincess (cobaltprincess@hotmail.com)

Disclaimer: If you haven't figured it out by now I don't know what to tell you.

I love him.

I can't believe that I love him.

I never thought that something like this would ever happen to me. I'm not exactly the type person that people fall in love with.

I can't help wondering what it is about me that Duo likes. He has all theses amazing qualities and I have none. And I can't help thinking, although not for the first time, that I'm undeserving of his love. And now that I know I love him, I don't think that I should feel this way. Duo deserves someone better than me.

I sigh.

There is no point in thinking these things it doesn't solve anything. And as Trowa said everything doesn't have to make sense, some things just are.

As undeserving as I think I am of Duo, I can't help the way I feel about him. He has come to mean so much to me. He meant a lot even when I was unaware of my feelings for him.

I can't help but smile when I think of the past seven months. If Duo hadn't kissed me, I wouldn't have been forced to realize my feelings for him and he would have never had the opportunity to tell me what he felt.

My mindset has changed so drastically in such a short amount of time. If someone told me seven months ago that I would be dependent on Duo just to get through the day, I would have shot them for implying that I, Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, needed someone.

But this isn't seven months ago--This is today. And I need Duo; I need him so bad it hurts.

He is the embodiment of everything that is good in my life. He is the someone that I thought I could never have. I am happy, and it's all because of him. Never in my life have I felt so happy and safe.

I wonder what it is that I did that made Duo look at me the way he does. Like I'm the only person in the universe. I wonder what I did to make him want to hold me the way he does, touch me the way he does…. Kiss me the way he does.

I never knew I was missing all these things until I felt them. It's amazing how much Duo can do for me with just a touch--with just a glance. He is my world just as much as I am his and I never want to let that go.

I should tell him how I feel. It's the least l could do considering all that he has done for me. Telling Duo that I love him would make him as happy as it makes me every time I hear him say it, and Duo deserves that happiness more than I do.

I am broken from my reverie when Duo enters the room. "What are you thinking about, Heero?" I stared up at Duo; eyes travelling from his beat up black work boots to the wild fringes he called bangs. I eventually settled my gaze on his eyes--Sparkling pools of amethysts that captivated me.

I stared into his eyes for a while before I finally answered him. "I'm thinking…" I said as I stood up and closed the gap between the two of us as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "About how much I love you," I finished and placed a chaste kiss upon his lips.

Duo was silent for a while after that. He just stared into my eyes, his gaze searching before he laughed happily. Kami how I love the sound of his laugh. I was a deep, rich laugh full of life--Just like him. Duo wrapped his arms around me and held onto me so tightly that I could barely breathe, but I didn't care. I was so glad that I could make Duo happy.

I started to giggle excitedly and shower Duo's face with kisses. I have never been so happy that I have done something in my entire life. My shower of kisses eventually led me to Duo's lips, where he captured my own devouring me with the intensity of his emotion. After we parted I was left panting while Duo buried his face in the hollow of my throat whispering how much he loved me.

When Duo got his emotions under control, he pulled away from me enough to look into my eyes. It was during this moment that I noticed something. Duo's my savior, my light through the darkness. He's breaks down all of my barriers, sorting through the chaos in my mind.

He knows how fucked up I am and he still accepts me--I accept me when I'm with him. I am able to love and be loved because of him. I know that I can spend forever with him.

End