Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Silence Speaks A Thousand Words ❯ The Letter ( Chapter 2 )

Check part one… too sleepy to repeat… ;p

 

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“Hee-chan? Yoohoo, Hee-chan, I'm home!”

 

(Music playing in the background at the house)

……When I asked you

You said nothing was wrong

But I listened to

Your magical song

All these notes were gone

You sang it I heard

Silence Speaks (A Thousand Words)……

 

“Hmm… in that mood again, I see. Heh… guess my Hee-chan gets lonely without me, ne?”

 

……You keep telling me

`I'll pay the price'

For asking you once

And telling you twice

But I paid the day

Your emotions turned cold

Silence Speaks (A Thousand Words)……

 

“Oi, Heero?? I'm back!! Where are you?”

 

……Where do I turn

When you turn away

It's never just the things you say

You never ever put me down

But when I speak

You turn around

And saying not much

Is saying a lot……

 

“Hmm… where did he go? He should be home today. Oh… don't tell me he goes to work on his day off too??”

 

……If you spoke true

There would be no doubt

But the only words are

`We'll work it out'

Well, that's not saying much

You just don't take the time

And that is where I draw the line……

 

“Err…… what is this? `TO DUO'? Hey…since when did Heero start writing love letters? Oi!! Heero!! If you are home, come on out… Your Duo desperately needs a kiss right now!”

 

……Where do I turn

When you turn away

It's never just the things you say

You never ever put me down

But when I speak

You turn around

And saying not much

Is saying a lot……

 

“…Guess he's really not home then… (sigh) Heero, Heero, Heero. Where did you go when I need you?”

 

……You're sending signals

First of hope and insecurity

Sing of the doubts are everywhere

And subconsciously

You know you wanna break the ties

But you use silence

You use lies

Don't worry

I'll return your song of silence……

 

“…a love letter… Never have one before… bet he wouldn't be too upset if I read it? afterall it's addressed to me, ne? Hmm… okay, here goes… `Dearest Duo, by the time you read this, I'll be long gone…' WHAT THE HELL!!

Dearest Duo,

 

By the time you read this, I'll be long gone.

 

I love you, Duo. Honto ni… Itsumo Aishiteru. Demo, I know I can't make you happy, so I left. I left so you can move on and have a better life than what we had.

 

I am sorry, Duo. For not being what you need. I wish I could give you what you want - a child of your own. But I'm not a woman,I don't have the necessary`equipment' to bear a child… even for a perfect soldier, there's only so much I can do…

 

I know you have denied it before… telling me that an adoptedchild is still a child… is still `your' child, because he will carry on everything that you were, areand will ever be, just like a child of your own blood. But I know it's not the same for you, I could see it in your eyes…

 

You told me it doesn't matter, solong we are together. But… it would always be there, standing between us. I know this - because I have seen you crying in Hilde's arms that night,drunk, griping and grumbling how unfair it was, that you couldn't even have a child. It wasn't that you couldn't, but because none of us were female. You kept going on and on;saying how you wish you have never fallenin love with a guy, saying how you wish you have fallen in love with Hilde instead, then you could have a child. Be it boy or girl, but you'll have a child of your own…

 

It has hurt… It hurt so much to know, that of everything I could have given you, I could never fulfill the one wish you want most…

 

I know you said it's alright. We are alright. But being with you for so long, how could I not see how much it pains you whenever we see a child comes running into its father's arms, screaming, giggling, calling `daddy' over and over again?

 

I know you said you want to do something, being someone productive, that you ended up opening a company of your own, having to go on business meetingsevery so often… But you know what? I'm not blind, Duo, I can see you are using that as an excuse to get out of the house, to get away from me. So that you would not come to resent me, because you could never have a child because of me…

 

I know Hilde is in love with you, that she wouldn't mind being the mother of your child. She wouldn't even mind if it's just a one-night stand. But you have refused her, time and again, because you wouldn't betrayme, you didn't want to jeopardize our love and hurt my feelings… even if you have to kill that one hope yourself…

 

Duo… I love you, and I thank you for what you did for me. I know how much it took for you to makethat decision, how hard you have struggled between your want and our love… I don't want you to hate me; I don't want to see our love become something that smothers us, that smothers you… so I chose to leave you; I made that terrible decision for you,and I set you free.

 

Please don't hate me, Duo, for taking the choice out of your hand; for not being strong enough to tell you my decision in person; for leaving our love behind, leaving you behind……

 

Sayonara, Koibito.Aishiteru, Zutto…

 

Live your life well.

 

Love you always,

Heero

 

“Oh god… Oh god… what have you done… what have you done, Heero… shit! Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit!! The phone… the phone…… damnit, where's the phone!!! Okay… Wufei, Wufeiwufeiwufeiwufeiwufeiwufei, COME ON!! Pick up the goddamn phone!!”

 

“HEERO!!” “WUFEI!!”

 

“MAXWELL??”

 

“FEI!! Where's Heero? Where is he? Fei, please tell me you know where he is?”

 

“Where the fuck were you, Maxwell? I've been looking for you all over the place and I couldn't find you!!”

 

“Fei. Fei, please!! Yell at me all you want later… tell me you see Heero?? Please? PLEASE??”

 

“I don't know where he is! I've been looking for him since his resignation!”

 

“NANI?? Resigned? What do you mean `his resignation'???”

 

“It was just that! He resigned. He was injured in the last mission… Une wanted him to take leave until he is better, he refused and resigned when Une threatened to take his badge if he wouldn't rest. He vanished after that. I was worried, and I've been looking for him since then… But I couldn't find him anywhere!!”

 

“Oh god… what have you done, love? What have you done??”

 

“Maxwell, what's going on? What happened with you two? Heero was thin and sick and absent-minded; you were lost out there somewhere in the colonies… what the hell is going on???”

 

“…I……I…… I need to find him, Fei… Talk to you later…”

 

“Maxwell! Don't you dare hang up on me! DON'T YOU…”

 

“Oh god… what have I done? …Heero…god…Heero…… Trowa! Trowa will know where he is!! …Trowa, Trowatrowatrowatrowatrowa…… TROWA!!”

 

“Maxwell.”

 

“Trowa! Did you -”

 

“…he is dead.”

 

“- see Heero…NANI?????”

 

“…Heero is dead.”

 

“…no. No. Nononononononononono… you're lying!! He's the Perfect Soldier! Hecan'tbeDEAD!!”

 

“…he's only human. Human dies.”

 

“NO! HE CAN'T!! HE PROMISED! HE PROMISED!! HE CAN'T!!!”

 

“…I saw it myself. He had driven off a cliff and hit the water below. He called me once the deed was done and told me to watch over you. He had purposefully drowned himself. He said he couldn't live without you. That's the only way he could set you free. He called me, so somebody could find him, bring him back and send his body off to space…”

 

“NO! GOD NO!! HE CAN'T!! HE CAN'T!!”

 

“…he did. And Quatre's staffs have just located the body and the car…”

 

“Nonononononono…”

 

“…you will live a full life, Maxwell!! Don't you dare take the cowardly way out!! Don't you dare suicide, you hear me?! You owe him!!”

 

“…… (weeping)”

 

“…I'll be there in twenty minutes. You'll hold on to this call till I get there. You hear? ANSWER ME, SOLDIER, DO YOU READ ME?”

 

“……yes…”

 

“…good… just stay where you are, I'll be there…”

 

~ tbc ~