Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Sleeping With Soldiers ❯ I Just Wanted To Help... ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

I don't know what inspired me to write this. I had some demons to work out, and it just seemed right to exercise them on Heero and Trowa. Hehehe. //_~

Anyhoo, love 'em or hate 'em, they ain't mine! (wish they were though…grumble, grumble.)

Bold = Lyrics

Sleeping With Soldiers

"Really Maxwell! I don't know what would make you scream at the top of your lungs in the middle of the night. Some of us were trying to sleep!"

"Yeah, like you and your little man ever actually get any! Sleep I mean! I had a bad nightmare, that's all. Some of us don't have people we can roll over to at night."

"What's that supposed to mean?! Are you implying that myself and my, um…lover, don't get any sleep and are merely screwing each other senseless at night?"

"Yes!! That's exactly what I'm saying. I can't sleep! All I hear is 'Oh Quatre! You're so big! Come here and give your Dragon some of that!' It makes me sick!"

"Oh! I see where this is coming from. You're just jealous aren't you? You can't have any of this, so you complain. Well, this isn't over yet my friend. You just watch. I'll make your life a living Hell! So help me Nataku, you will never sleep again!" Yelled Wufei, as he stormed off into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

"Well, I sure showed him. Hmpf. At least now it'll be quiet…until tomorrow night…hehehe. Just wait, Maxwell. You will learn just how loud I can be."

Draw the shades and close my eyes

I never want to see again

I found the cost of courage high

Sometimes hard to pay

"I don't want to be a normal person! You can't make me!" A pissed off Heero yelled in my ear. "I'm a soldier! Nothing more, nothing less!"

I wanted him to be normal like the rest of us. There were mind inhancing drugs, but the last things Heero Yuy needed were inhancers of any kind.

"I just want you to be like the rest of us. Please koi, for me? I know you don't like routines anymore. That's a start. You used to thrive on routine. Remember?"

"Yes. And I also used to kill things in the name of peace, remember?" He asked me this almost comically. Like it was just one big joke. "Heero? Do you love me?" I asked. I was actually unsure of the answer.

"What?"

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I d…"

"No, I mean really love me. There's a difference between what we have during the wee hours of the night, and what we should feel for each other. I feel like my soul is crying out for you, and you're just not listening." I can't believe I said what I did, but it had to be said.

I hear the songs the sirens sing

Calling on the shore for me

So sell your soul and try to fly

The tether still remains

"I love you. I don't want anything bad to ever happen to you again. That means blowing things up, including yourself. If I can take the soldier out of your system, you might live a little longer."

"Are you serious?" He asked me. I thought he was going to yell and scream. Not Heero Yuy's way, but hey, anything would do right about now.

"Yes. Of course I am. If there was anything besides this to make you well again, be sure I would have found it. But there isn't. I want to give you the world Heero, but if you're just going to set a C-4 charge on it and let it go, then I don't think you deserve it."

And all the finer things they lay upon my table

Smiled as their hooks were slowly sinking in

"Please Heero. Just take these for me. If you want, I can mash them up and put them in your food, like the baby you're behaving like."

"Hey! That wasn't fair!"

"It was, and you know it. Please. Just take them." One at a time, I handed the little green pills to him, and he took them without complaint. After finishing with the third, and last, he looked up at me.

Another pill I'm to consume

To make me learn to feel again

Is followed by another one

To make me loose the same

"Why have you done this for me? I haven't done anything for you."

"Because I love you, koi. You are my everything and I couldn't live without you. As long as I know you're going to get better, and maybe more vocal and sociable, I will do everything in my power. Come here."

I held my arms out for him, and he crawled slowly into them. I love holding him against my chest. He feels so small lying there. I look carefully at his neck; such tight muscles there. His back is just a jumble of nerves and muscles gathered over his tiny frame. He seems almost childlike. If only he could have been a child. None of us were, but I think Heero lost out on more than the rest of us did. I, at least remember some of mine. Duo does too. Quatre doesn't really count, because his life was fine, until his scientist decided it was time to corrupt his young life. Wufei just fought. That's all he knows. Losing his wife at a young age must have hurt, but so did losing your family, and not having a name. Heero, or Odin, needs to be cared for, and shown what it is to be loved. Not like sexual love, but just to have someone hold him, like I'm doing now. Talking to him didn't work, but maybe these drugs will. I know I said I wouldn't use them earlier, but it's my last resort.

I carefully lay the sleeping form of my love on the bed and slip out the door. I have work to do. Time to see Duo. Maybe he can tell me what I need to know…