Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ So This is Love ❯ Another Chance to Try ( Chapter 4 )

Alright, here we go. I still don't own Gundam Wing, I will never own Gundam Wing, and since I would like to own Gundam Wing, because then I'd be rich and beloved and not living with my parents, this makes me sad. *pouts*

And now, it is time for my obligatory rant! I got some really enthusiastic reviews this time! *blushes and grins* Steff, please don't stalk me. Being stalked is really creepy (is speaking from experience), and I PROMISE to finish the story, I wouldn't have uploaded it if that wasn't my intention, I swear! But "one of the best"??? You're inflating my ego over here darlin'!

Wren, it's because babbling is so. . . so. . .so fun!!!! And uh. . .stuff! Yeah, stuff. Thanks for the enthusiasm, and I'll let you in on a little secret, *whispers* I have a thing for Wu-chan too, but Tro-chan is also totally. . .uh. . .kawaii!! *anime eye-slit grin* I actually DID get a few reviews on "Waiting for You" but only on FF.net. I post my fics both places. I get more reviews over FF.net, but I definitely like the formatting on MM.org a lot better. I don't have to tweak as much. *shruggs* Actually though, it's nice to get revies on my GW fics, since GW was my first love and first fanfic attempt (save a still incomplete Ronin Warriors Epic), even if my Inuyasha fics are much more popular for some reason. Uh, *blinks* there WAS something else I wanted to say but, uh, I forget what it was. Guess it couldn't have been too important. And, yay reviews! The more the better! Even if they're flames, because then I can print them and use them for target practice! *wide grin*

Gigi! WOW that was such a LONG review!!!!! *large, manic grin* and and…you…quoted me. *sniffles happily* You guys made me feel so good this time around, really! As far as your question about Trowa never kissing a girl but knowing what an orgasm is, well, let's see. . . a person can know what sex is without ever having had it. Society is so full of references in movies and books, advertisements, heck! Casual conversation! that it's practically an unavoidable topic. And what with Trowa having "grown up" around soldiers all his life, I'm fairly SURE he's been exposed to the topic if not having personally endeavored into it. After all, soldiers seem to be experts on three topics: fights, booze, and women, not necessarily in that order(yes, I know I'm stereotyping, but it serves my point at the moment, so nyah!) Anyway, point being, porn film or otherwise, he's got the basic gist of it. He also happens to know what a hard-on is, and what causes one, which I'm sure you noticed. He probably also knows how to relieve one, if you know what I mean (don't worry, I like Trowa too much to do THAT to him in this story.) Trowa: *sighs with relief* Banshee Puppet: *innocent pouty eyes* You mean you don't trust me Tro-chan? *sniffles* Heero: I think that's exactly what he means. Banshee: Well, fine! Be that way! See if I care! I may just take back what I just said! Trowa: NOOO!!!! I DIDN'T SAY IT! HEERO SAID IT! TORTURE HIM! Banshee: You know, Trowa, whining doesn't become you. All the same, *smirks* not a bad idea, altogether. Heero: *dangerously* Banshee, don't you dare!!! I'll kill you! Banshee: *whistles innocently* Naw, don't s'pose I will. Heero: phew! Banshee: . . .in this fic. The boys: *sweatdrop* Banshee: Although, I'd be careful if I were you, Heero. By the time this fic is over, Trowa's going to want to kill you, and from the sound of things, probably most, if not all, of my reviewers. Heero: *groans* You owe me, you know. You'd better write a fic where I'm not an arrogant asshole soon. Banshee: *blinks* You're not an arrogant asshole? Since when? Heero: I'm going to kill you! *pulls out his gun while Ban wonders where he hides it in those shorts* Ban: *sweatdrops* Okay okay! I WILL write a fic starring you and. . . someone. . . not Relena, because that's been done to death, but um, someone, I dunno, I'll ruminate on that one for a while before deciding. So don't kill me. Everyone gets their jerk fics. I mean, heck Trowa's sorta an asshole in "Dragon's Tears", right? Trowa: You're not going to upload THAT fic, are you? Ban: *thinks about it* Probably not (to readers: psst psst, but it IS on my website). That arc is sorta funky. Bleh. Heero: Why don't you ever write a Wufei is an asshole fic? Ban: *thinks about this too* Well, because I play favorites. . . .And because there are enough Wufei is an asshole fics out there to cover half of the planet Mars. Relena: That was. . .interesting logic. Ban: *grins* Thanks, I thought so too. Relena: Are you going to make a title image for this fic like you did with "Waiting for You"? Ban: *thinks about this too* (I'm doing an awful lot of thinking today.) I want to, but it may take some time to find the right images to warp, and of course, I'll want to find the right scene, but, basically, yes. . . .um. . .wow, that was a really long babble.

Everyone, thanks a bunch. This poem also comes from "The Glance", and here's chaper four.

~~~~~

"So This is Love"

by: Banshee Puppet

Chapter Four: Another Chance to Try

~~~~~

"A Smile and a Gentleness"

There is a smile and a gentleness

inside. When I learned the name

and address of that, I went to where

you sell perfume. I begged you not

to trouble me so with longing. Come

out and play! Flirt more naturally.

Teach me how to kiss. On the ground

a spread blanket, flame that's caught

and burning well, cumin seeds browning,

I am inside all this with my soul.

~~~~~

For all he tried to conceal it, Heero's surprise over Trowa's presence at Relena's was evident. Staring blankly at the taller boy as he ran a comb through unruly bangs so soft that he couldn't keep them from flopping forward, Heero finally spoke, "You couldn't make it to Quatre's," he said more than asked.

"Probably could've," Trowa answered just as flatly, giving a one-shouldered shrug as if it didn't much matter to him where he stayed, but his eyes told a different story. There was a tiny flicker there, daring Heero to say more on the subject.

`She isn't yours anymore, Heero,' he thought. `You screwed up. That's your loss, and, consequentially, my gain. But why'd you have to show up now?' he wondered. It was just that things were so new, he'd hoped to have at least a few days alone with Relena before the world came beckoning once again. But here was Heero, once again on her doorstep like a little lost pitbull. It's not that Trowa was jealous, he could tell that Relena didn't love Heero anymore just by the change in her behavior around him, but Heero still very much loved Relena, and that was a problem. `Would it be wise for him to learn about. . .us. . .before even we're certain what we are to one another? I'm not sure. Well, I'll talk to Relena about it. She deserves to have a say in the matter anyway. He glanced at the young woman, turning his eyes away quickly so as not to drown in the presence of her, the gentle curve of her bare throat, mutinous strands of hair rebelling against the loose, floppy bun she had tied it back into when she had been cleaning earlier that day. He didn't look at her long because it only took a glance to remind him that he had almost kissed her earlier that day. Had come so close, and then HE interrupted. Trowa almost glowered at the thought. The problem was, having come so close, he found that, now that he knew it was okay and she wouldn't mind, he wanted to kiss her very badly, but lord only knew when he'd get another chance to try. He had thought he'd known longing before, but now, now he found himself craving her presence, the feel of her warm body pressed up against him, even if it WAS all tease, the scent of her wheat and honey hair, so soft, like her skin, so very soft and smooth and. . . well, touchable. Yes, he'd decided, everything about Relena was very touchable. And as long as Heero was here, staring suspiciously at him (as Trowa just emerged from his thoughts long enough to realize), he'd have to keep his distance. `Of course, he IS here to work on Wing. He can't hover around every moment of every day, after all. He IS a workaholic. I'm sure I can manage to sneak her away periodically, if I don't get a mission before I get that chance. While on that line of thinking, he realized, he wasn't entirely comfortable with leaving Relena alone with Heero. But he wasn't jealous; really, he wasn't. Just a little, anxious, that's all. He didn't want to screw this up.

Why had he looked at her like that, just now? Heero wasn't sure, but he knew one thing, he didn't like it. And then there was the matter of Relena, who did not seem as elated to see him as usual. "So, Heero," she asked. "How long do you suppose you'll be staying?"

Heero really wasn't sure, he had to evaluate the damage to Wing before he could be certain about much of anything. "A week, maybe, what about you, Trowa?" he turned a vaguely dark look on his comrade who answered, "I finished the repairs on Heavyarms yesterday, so I can leave at any time. All the same, I think I'll stick around until I get called for another mission, if it's all the same to you, Relena."

"That would be fine," she answered, sounding a little too happy about it for Heero's liking. She was supposed to be in love with him, after all, so why was it fine that Trowa stay as long as he liked, but she wanted to know how long HE was going to be around. It was all he could do not to scowl. Something was definitely going on, and, to say the least, he was not happy about it.

Some strange emotion took over in his chest. It aggrevated him, confused him, but he didn't know what it was or what to do about it. So he did what he always did when he didn't feel like confronting his emotions-he finished his coffee and stood up abruptly, saying he was going to get some work done before making a quick retreat.

When he was out of earshot, Trowa turned to Relena. "He's still in love with you, even if he doesn't want to admit it," he said flatly.

She bit her lower lip in thought and nodded.

"What do you want to do?" he asked easily. "While he's here. It might be best not to mention anything that's been going on between us for the time being."

The old Relena would have been insulted, would have thought he was ashamed of her or something, but Trowa was all logic, and fact was, she could see the logic in keeping it a secret from the other pilot for a little while. If he knew, he would be upset with Trowa, and it wouldn't do to have something like that interfere with a mission; it could get them both killed.

"I think you're right," she said finally. "At least for now."

Trowa gave her a rare, gentle smile and reached his hand across the table, placing it gently over hers, running his thumb over the soft skin on the back of her hand absentmindedly. He stared at their hands for a long moment, her ivory skin under calloused fingertips, work-worn hands only slightly less pale than her own.

`He has such elegant hands,' she thought. Such long, slender fingers, like a pianist, but there's something hard about them too, something really very strong.' He looked up at her and she thought her heart would stop and she would die. `And those eyes! God, those eyes. So vulnerable, and so easy to read. So full of love. If Heero doesn't read that in his eyes, then it'll be a miracle.'

~~~~

Heero grumbled. He'd made it to the hanger, halfway across the house only to realize that the toolbox in Relena's home was under the kitchen sink. He'd forgotten and now he had to go back to retrieve it. `He'd better not touch her!' he thought with cocky annoyance.

~~~~

Trowa stood, gently tugging Relena to her feet with him and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "He'll be out there for a while," he whispered. "And I think I owe you a kiss."

"Yeah, that's right, you do," she smiled.

His heart was racing, he wanted to kiss her so badly, and now that he knew it was okay, he was determined to do so. Gather his courage and hope he didn't screw it up too badly. He watched as her eyes drifted closed and started to lean in, when he heard footsteps approaching. With an irritated sigh, he let her go quickly and moved over to the table, picking up dirty coffee mugs and dishes before bringing them to the sink and, turning on the water. "I'll wash, you dry?" he offered easily when he figured that Heero was close enough to hear their conversation.

`What just happened?' Relena blinked at first unsure of what was going on, then she too heard him coming. `Again!?! Gah!!' mentally, she whined and stomped her foot. This was the second time today!!! Heero, you idiot! She was beginning to feel like he was planning these little interruptions.

"You know you don't have to do the dishes Trowa," she replied, steadying her breathing when she saw him pushing his long sleeves up to his elbows, revealing muscular forearms. `I didn't realize he was so muscular. I wonder what the rest of him looks like. Don't think about that NOW, Relena!'

"I'm staying here for now, so it's the least I can do to thank you for your hospitality."

"Aa. Okay. I'll get a dishtowel then."

"Relena."

Relena jumped. "Heero! Don't sneak up on me like that!" she scolded. Heero forced a small smile from his lips. `She's so cute when she's surprised.'

"My toolbox is under the sink, right?"

`Oh yeah, it IS, isn't it? He forgot it last time he was here.' Heero was always "forgetting" things at Relena's home. It gave him an excuse to keep coming back. Although she half-wished he would forget less useful things. She was sure that he needed his toolbox when he was on missions, in case he had to, you know, fix something. But Heero Yuy was nothing if not resilient.

"Yeah. You're right, I forgot about it," she replied. "Trowa, can you get it out, since you're right there?"

"Sure," Trowa crouched down and opened the small cabinet doors, pulling out the small blue box, carrying it over to the other boy and handing it to him. "Here."

The boys exchanged a heated stare, started by Heero, but Trowa, for some reason that Relena couldn't fathom, felt the need to antagonize the shorter pilot, glaring right back at him. After a tense silence, Heero took the toolbox from him and said flatly, "thanks," before tossing in one last death glare for good measure and leaving the kitchen.

After a moment of silence, Trowa leaned against the wall by the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest. "I think he's on to me," he stated before sighing slightly and moving back over to the sink. "Let's get those dishes done."

~~~~

`He can't hide it from me. I can see the way he looks at her! And coming here instead of going to Quatre's. . . Quatre is Trowa's best friend, and I'd just love to see him try to deny it. And Relena is. . . Relena is. . . Relena is mine, so he'd better not touch her!' he gave a mental sneer and felt the uncommon urge to growl in frustration, which he would have acted on, had he not gotten a call at that precise moment.

"What?" he snapped at the phone as he hit the on key.

Wufei's eyebrows raised at the interesting bite that his comradde's words had today. "So I see you're alive after all."

"Wufei? What is it?" Heero asked, his voice easing slightly. Even if Duo tried very hard to be Heero's closest friend, that had gone pretty much to hell when Wufei waltzed into the picture with his arrogant self-assurance and bad temper. He was probably the only one of the pilots that Heero thought made any sense, and Wufei seemed to respect his strength, or something, so, unknown to anyone, the two had become fast friends.

"That was a stupid stunt you pulled today, you know. I was just calling to make sure you weren't dead, but from the sound of things, dead is the least of your problems right now."

"I'm at Relena's fixing Wing."

"And." Wufei was absolutely certain that there was an "and". He knew Heero well enough to anticipate it coming from about the time Heero had said, "Wufei? What is it?"

"And Trowa's here too," Heero said.

`Ah, Trowa, that explains things. Trowa's been infatuated with Relena for a while. I'm surprised that Heero hasn't noticed it before.'

"Well, just don't do anything stupid," Wufei warned him flatly. "We still need him for missions." Moving a hand to hang up when Heero said, "I trust you're fine."

"No thanks to you," Wufei scolded. "I'm heading to Sally to have her patch up my broken ribs."

"You can do that without her help." Heero deadpanned, remembering a while back when Wufei had taken it upon himself to stitch up his own arm. Heero had decided to be otherwise occupied at the moment, writing a mission report, that was tragically distracted by the sounds of grimacing and grunting coming from the Chinese pilot's direction. And yes, he knew that he'd done the same thing to Duo more than once, but it was DEFINITELY different from the outside looking in.

"But then I wouldn't have an excuse to go see her," Wufei commented idly, dryly. Heero was the only one who got the pleasure of that tone from the Chinese pilot. "Yuy, I mean it, don't do anything stupid," Wufei reminded him before hanging up, ending the call abruptly and with no goodbyes, as was his habit.

~~~

Relena found Trowa, once again, on the couch with a book. Not Rumi this time though, but another man, a poet and a religious leader whose name was Thich Nhat Hanh. A man who wrote about simple things and hard things, about peace, and love and war. Trowa frowned down at the text, reading carefully, understanding all too well what the man was speaking of. `And still/ we beg you to believe/ there is no hatred in our hearts,/ no rancour in our souls./ What the world needs,/ what we all need/is love./ / Come, hear me,/ for time grows short/ and danger is everywhere./ Let us take those grenades/ out of our hearts,/ our motherland./ humankind./ Let us stand./Let us stand/ side by side.' (A/N: the preceding is a selection from the poem "Those that have not Exploded" by Thich Nhat Hanh from "Call me by my True Names". There really aren't any words to say about him; he's just one of the world's amazing people. I chose him because I see a lot of him in the image of characters like Relena, who are strong, but gentle-hearted, and who have a way of fighting that has nothing to do with violence.)

It was quiet in the house, with Heero still in the hangar and showing no signs of emerging and Trowa, well, being Trowa. "Not Rumi tonight?" Relena asked as she approached.

Trowa swung his legs easily around to the floor to give her room to sit and said, "I thought it was about time I expanded my horizons."

Relena sat and rested her head on Trowa's shoulder, scanning the poem he was reading briefly before taking the book from his hand. "Don't beat yourself up over it Trowa. You're doing what you believe is right. He's not someone for you to try to emulate, whatever the case."

"Still, as easy as things have been lately, I needed to remind myself that a world exists on the other side of the windows. One that I'll have to return to soon. . .alone."

Relena grimaced slightly at the thought. "You got a new mission," she stated flatly. "When do you leave?"

". . .tomorrow. I'll probably be gone before you wake up. Relena, I. . ."

"Don't say it Trowa. I know. Just, please don't die."

"I won't," he smirked down at her, wrapping an arm around her waist. "I have a reason not to. . .now."

"Trowa."

"Relena."

He ran his fingers through her hair, releasing the elastic and tangling his fingers into the soft, pale strands. Her hair, it was so soft in the way that velvet was soft; it just called out to be touched. Ghosting fingers up the side of her neck, his touch became slightly more tangible as he rested a palm on her cheek. "I love you," he whispered, leaning in. It was now or never. If he didn't kiss her now, he knew, he wouldn't get another opportunity for a very long time. If Heero interrupted this time, he was certain, he couldn't be held accountable for his actions. But there were no interruptions. He just felt her breath, her chin tilting up slightly to meet him, and before he knew it, his lips were brushing against something vaguely silky, but almost. . .not quite. . . sticky too. `So this is what lips feel like,' his mind said before his heart thundered all thoughts right out of his head, blood flooding through his hazy mind. He pressed his lips a bit harder, wanting to go deeper somehow, but not knowing how, precisely, and then he felt her hands, cold fingers on the back of his neck, pulling him closer gently, the lips against his lips taking on a strange urgency that pulled him into it. He could only hope to stay afloat in their tangible surface, and even that was asking a lot. He responded in kind, wrapping his arms around a slender waist, and, when the kiss broke, he, breathlessly, buried his head into the nook of her neck. "I love you too," she whispered, smoothing over the back of his shirt, running fingers through silky hair that fell into a natural bang that covered what she knew were the deepest, most beautiful green eyes. `Finally,' Relena thought with a mental smirk.

And unknown to either of them, a dangerous blue hovered with disbelief and heartbreak around the corner, body seemingly held up only by the steady support of the wall behind knotted shoulderblades. Fists clenched so tightly that a small trickle of blood fell, unnoticed to the floor, angry tears tumbling down grease-stained cheeks as Heero Yuy tried very hard to focus on his friend's words, "I mean it Yuy, don't do anything stupid," his mind told him in Chang Wufei's voice, and, taking a hard swallow, he disappeared down the hall, as if he had never been there, as if he was still working on Wing, and as if his resolve wasn't shattering.

`I have to do something, or I'm going to lose her for good,' he thought. `I won't lose her. Relena. I CAN'T!'

~~~

We-hell! Whaddya know, chapter four is done! I was going to have one more Heero interruption scene, but after two I decided that Trowa and Relena deserved some smoochies, so I relented to my fluffy side. This chapter was kinda cute. . .unless you look at it from Heero's perspective, but I warn you, as I thought, the next chapter, chapter five, WILL be the obligatory dark and angsty chapter. I don't want to ruin anything for you, but I think it's important that I warn you the next will NOT be full of teddy bears and little pink hearts, far from it, actually. We're more than half done with this story now, whatever the case. (Maybe when I finish it I'll finally be inspired for my Inuyasha arcs again. I hope so, b/c I want to finish those fics soon.) Once I finish one of them, I'll probably start a new odd pairing GW fic. I've been wanting to do a Wufei x Noin, so I may do that, or I might do a Heero fic, since I think I'm going to owe it to him by the time I'm done here, and the pairing for that that I'm considering at the moment is Heero x Silvia. I dunno, I think that could be a really interesting one to try, so we'll see. Whatever the case, this fic is gonna be finished before I contemplate that in any further detail.

As far as the Heero/Wufei friendship in this story. Yes, I know everyone knows I have a Wufei obsession by now, but fact is, I used him in this instance because I think Wufei and Heero have an interesting chemistry between them that is based primarily on mutual respect, and I have a hard time picturing Heero opening up to Duo or Quatre, because they're so vastly different from himself. So, since this is a 3xR fic and thus Heero can't really use Trowa to open up to(who I really see as the only other one of the pilots that he might consider it with), Wufei made a necessary camio appearance. He won't by any means be a major char in the story, but I think I'll throw him in periodically to help move the plot along. And yes, I do have a plot. . . not much of one, but it's there if you look for it.

As always, r&r. And until next time, Happy Haunting.

~Banshee Puppet~