Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ some reunion ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

It took all that Duo had to make it into the cab without collapsing onto the ground. As he sat down, he realized with disconnected interest verging on disgust that his entire body was shaking. Of all the things he could have found out...

"Th-the airport," he gulped to the driver, who showed no sign whatsoever of hearing him. They drove forward in silence, Duo lost completely in his thoughts.

"You'd be hurt if you knew."

//I'd be *hurt*?// He slammed his fist on the seat ahead of him in anger. //It's not like I didn't already expect them to get together at some point. I'm not *totally* blind.// Bitterness coarsed through him as he thought about his run-in with his former partner. Of all the things...

Of all the things.

His throat was uncharacteristicly tight and suspiciously dry. He tried to clear it, but that only made it worse. His whole world was caving in on him, and he could only wish that he had never come to the reunion to begin with. At least then he wouldn't have had to deal with the unexpected shock and resounding pain that had come with learning Heero had intentionally left him in particular out of his life. Here he'd been doing emotional push-ups ever since recieving the invitation, steeling himself against any and all possible scenarios regarding Heero, but the unexpected had come. How could he have prepared for that?

As he looked out the window, Duo noticed with slight alarm that the car had driven right past the port and was continuing to drive forward.

"Erm, you know ya just missed the port," Duo mentioned as he leaned forward and tapped the driver on the shoulder.

"I know." The driver responded calmly. "Quatre had hoped you might reconsider."

Duo glanced up in to the rear view mirror and was confronted with a single emerald eye. Sighing, he looked back down at his hands in his lap. "Trowa, I just-" he stopped, unsure of what it was he was trying to say. "I don't think I'd be the greatest houseguest or company right now."

"You mean you'd rather go back to L2 and isolate yourself until you feel better."

Duo paused.

"Yeah."

"I'm not of the opinion that you are going to just 'feel better'." Trowa pulled into the parking lot of an unknown tavern. It's open sign glowed 'opn'; the 'e' had long since burned out, and the seediest of poeple were coming and going.

"Let's have a drink, Duo."

And with that, the taller man exited the car and walked forward without another glance behind him. Trying not to think too much about how bizarre it was that out of all, Trowa was offering companionship, Duo dutifully followed and sat down at the bar next to the man in question. Before he could open his mouth, a pitcher of beer was thrust at him.

"Quatre worries about you."

"That's very nice of him, but he doesn't need to. I'm fine."

Trowa's visible eyebrow raised.

"I'm FINE. Really."

After taking a slow swig of beer, Trowa began, "I'm a very private person, Duo. I'm sure you've noticed that I prefer not to talk. It's just the way I am." He looked at Duo, as if daring him to argue, then continued, "You, on the other hand, while most likely private, feel the need to speak. I'm sure that preference is just as natural as my preference to remain silent. When something isn't settling well, you'd do well to talk it out. And I, as I am quiet, would balance you out nicely if you ever felt you needed to 'vent', so to speak, as I am obliged to stay silent, and keep your ventings between the two of us."

Duo sighed and poured himself a mug. When it came down to it,so many vague thoughts paired with strong feelings were circling through him that he didn't know how to 'vent' even if he had wanted to.

"I'm not sure what you're expecting of me," he said after many seconds of silence.

"I'm not expecting anything," Trowa replied, his expression never changing.

"Yeah, I can see that," Duo spat, then pushed away his now empty mug in exasperation. "I just--" he stopped, then started again. "I really began to care for that fucker and i just wanted--" he paused, searching for the right word, "closure coming here."

"And?"

"And instead I find out that so much has happened in the past five years that I was never even aware of--never *allowed* to be made aware of--that he didn't just 'lose touch' with me, he chose to drift away and to keep me in the dark to "protect" me. And my only friends went along with it. For five years." He looked over at Trowa expectantly, but was met with only silence.
And what the *hell* did he mean by the term "protect" me??! I always knew they liked each other--I was fucking *there*!" He exclaimed, voicing aloud his earlier sentiments.
"And seriously," he continued. "That's just absurd! What the problem actually *was* in this little situation was the fact that he bailed on me. That was it. Not that--that--" his voice faultered.

"He's still with her and has a child," Trowa provided.

"Aren't you supposed to stay silent?" Duo growled as he poured himself another mug. "I just didn't think it would be forever. I guess I figured that the fairy tale would end. I mean, that's all it was, wasn't it? A fairy tale? She'd get bored when he stopped playing the hero, and he'd finally realize that their only bond was the desire for peace. Didn't we all see that?" he snorted into his mug. "Guess I was wrong."

"But why would their being together or not change your relationship with Heero one way or another?"

Duo didn't know.

"I don't know! I don't. She's just--not--right--for him. Or at least not for the him I knew five years ago."

The next few minutes were spent in silence as the last statement hung in the air. Talking with Trowa was completely different from talking with Hilde. Not that Hilde wasn't great to talk to; just different. Different tactics were used. With Hilde, Duo would talk and then Hilde would give the best advice that she could at the time, and it would go back and forth as such. However with Trowa, Duo found that Trowa only asked more questions. He didn't provide advice and that made Duo find the answers himself. It was harder. He also seemed to be unearthing a lot more feelings this way than he had even realized there were.

By this time the two of them had both finished their third mugs and were more than halfway through their second pitcher of beer. Through the slight fuzz, Duo could tell that he felt a little better talking it out.

"So what do I do now?" he asked noone in particular. Trowa seemed to be lost in some thought of his own.

"Now," Trowa announced some time later as he poured himself a fourth mug. "I've arranged for a driver to meet us here in-" he glanced down at his wrist watch. "thirty-seven minutes to take us where we wish to go. Where should I tell him to take us?"

"..."

"I only need to know. I'm not asking anything of you."

"Quatre misses me?" he asked skeptically.

"He does. And as I understand it, Wufei was pleased to see you. As was I."

He *did* want to hang out with his former comrades. It had been so long, ans they'd have fun...
Then a sobering thought came through to his fogged mind. "Is Heero staying?"

"Yes."

//Shit.// But part of him refused to let that fact stop him. So they'd had an argument. So they were never really the friends Duo had thought they once were. So Heero was the absolute, hands-down, last person he wanted to see. So what. He wasn't going to let a former 'friend' and their falling out get in the way of three other friendships that he intended to cultivate. He wouldn't let Heero's existance dictate *his* existance. He wouldn't let Heero make him a hermit afraid to leave his own colony. //I know I'll regret this when I'm sober.//

"Alright. We'll go back to the Winner estate." He could almost see Trowa smile. "But first we need more beer." Duo poured himself another mug as they waited for the cab to get there.