Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Some Way Back ❯ Mirror Mirror ( Chapter 4 )

~#~ = flashback

#*# = scene change

~and words in between~ indicates thought

~~**~~ = end of chapter

Some Way Back : Mirror Mirror

Duo slept fitfully and woke not quite as refreshed, as he would have liked at about 630 in the morning. He groaned as he realized he was going to have to force the comb through his hair himself, as he had no one who took delightful pleasure in doing it for him. Grumbling, still in his boxers and one of Heero's tank tops which made up his usual sleeping attire, he cleaned his teeth and made coffee sitting himself down in front of his main frame…searching through the disks to find the ones meticulously marked with Heero's all to familiar handwriting. He popped one into his machine and made it begin a run through of the information gathering Heero had performed on his last 25 missions. He was determined to go through all of Heero's things personally…the others could take care of research conducted by other people. He read through the files as he brushed his hair, something that would take him at least an hour, because it had been neglected so much lately. Heero would never have let him neglect it like that… Heero had loved his hair.

A knock on the door about 7.30 startled him. As he approached the door cautiously, forgetting the brush in his hand, he peered through the one way black glass on the doors he was surprised that everyone was there… and he meant everyone. Une, Sally, Zechs, Quatre, Wufei and Trowa. Forgetting that he was in his sleeping attire he opened the door to let them in…not understanding the blushes he saw pass over all of their faces…until he felt the cool air of the corridor on his bare legs. Refusing to let it phase him he motioned for them to enter the room and sat himself at his desk, placing the hairbrush down and picking his coffee mug back up.

Waving to the kitchenette he spoke. "Help yourself… I made plenty of coffee."

Une was staring at him…she couldn't believe that hair… it was…almost knee length…three quarters of the way down his thighs. She imagined herself running her fingers through it and immediately turned a bright red.

Duo wasn't used to silence…but he had never been a morning person so he also wasn't used to continually babbling in the morning either. He thought he would give them a few more minutes to adjust as well… Zechs seemed to be very busy going about making sure that everyone had coffee and Quatre had gone to help him. Wufei, Sally and Trowa were doing anything they could not to look at him and Duo could not figure out what the hell was wrong with them all. He knew his boxer shorts weren't revealing…and he knew he had a good body.

Leaning forward he buried his head in his hands, causing his hair to cascade around him almost creating his own cave…he didn't need this. From beneath his hair he spoke. "Ok guys… why the silent treatment…you all know I am not a morning person…you cant expect me to be the life of the party after 6 hours of fitful sleep you know… I mean gods give me till 8 in the morning at least… I need my beauty sleep."

He looked back up at them… Quatre was the only one actually smiling…the others were still trying their best not to actually look at him.

Duo was about to get angry when Quatre broke the silence.

"You can be so dense sometimes Duo."

Duo looked at him blankly. "Wha?"

"This is the first time any of us have seen you with your hair out and out of customary clothing. You're not exactly ugly if I might add…and your hair is rather…amazing…" The blond was actually blushing.

Duo looked at them all in disbelief. "Its just hair…"

"That isn't just hair Duo…" Sally reached out as if to touch it and Duo flinched back…she watched his face close over and she dropped her hand. "It's like a waterfall."

Duo grinned without mirth. "Yes and it's a waterfall you can look at. The only person I have ever let touch it and live to remember the feeling besides me… is dead now anyway, so that is moot point." He got up and turned his back on them walking over to his cupboard and getting out a more `decent outfit'.

"Since I am obviously too much for you all to resist dressed this way…I am going to get changed." He smirked his usual mischievous grin and entered the bathroom.

The room breathed easier as the women smoothed their clothes and the three ex-gundam pilots shook their legs a little.

Zechs broke the silence. "I would never have thought his hair was like that… I mean… the braid hides the quality of it so well."

All the others could do was nod in agreement.

#*#

Closing the bathroom door behind him Duo leant against the sink…his breath coming harshly. The wound he had caused on his left arm throbbed and his head felt hot and heavy, swimming with memories that he needed to control. He looked at himself in the mirror…hating himself again…for all his inadequacies, for all his inability to cut his hair and be rid of the memories it brought him. It was his weakness…he was weak…he didn't deserve to be loved, let alone to have been loved by Heero. Forgetting the people outside he couldn't help but give into the memories tugging at him.

~#~

The sharp tug on his braid stopped the boy in the streets from running away. He held still very carefully hoping that they weren't going to kill him…but when he saw the men lower their pants…his wish changed very quickly.

Years later the boy had turned into a gawky adolescent … trained in hand to hand combat and looking years younger than he was. Someone tugged at his braid … and they didn't live long enough to know what hit them as Shinigami used deadly accuracy.

Heero wrapping that braid around his hand as they looked into each others eyes, just holding each other.

Heero brushing his hair with loving tender strokes…the night before he had…he had…

~#~

The crash of the mirror as he smashed his hand into it so he didn't have to see his face anymore, brought him out of the memories. Panting hard he pulled himself together, wincing at the fist of his right hand…slivers of glass making it look like blood rain had fallen on him. ~Enough self pity Maxwell… you do not have time for this~

He heard Quatre's voice through the door. "Um Duo? Are you ok in there?" The panic in his voice was evident and the longhaired boy chided himself for making his friend worry so much.

Pulling himself together and forcing cheerfulness into his voice Duo spoke back…portraying his usual chatty self. "Yeah of course I'm ok Cat…I'll be out soon, you know me …as vain as they come… have to look just right for all of you, you know?"

A sigh of relief came through the door and Duo relaxed…refusing to look at the glass splinters surrounding, him he pulled his clothes on, knowing someone would clean the mess up if he emailed them and gave them temporary access.

When he reentered the room he found everyone concentrating on a computer screen and he frowned a little before letting his habitual mask slip into place. There were now nine computers, his two main frames and two trackers…so there were enough computers to accommodate everyone, but he really wanted to know what the hell Sally and Une were doing there. So, being Duo Maxwell, he asked.

"So Miss Po, Lady Une…to what do I owe the amazing honour of your presence in my humble systems room? I understand Zechs's reasoning for being here and have as such accepted it, but why…are you both here?" His voice was cheerful, happy, just the way they were used to hearing, but his eyes spoke volumes…his face had always reflected every emotion easily, but the Duo that emerged after Heero's death was different. It made the other's wary.
"We came to see if we could help you with anything." Une looked calm and collected, but even her face flinched at the longhaired boys next words.

First of all he laughed…and the laugh was empty, hollow. Raising an eyebrow he smirked his usual Duo smirk. "Gee thanks Lady Une…but I think you overestimate your capabilities and that they could be of any use to me. You've never used a Zero system…you wouldn't have the first idea how to immerge yourself into a system and feel it…so, if you two don't mind I think we'd really be better off without you." The grin never left his face, his bantering never skipped a beat and his eyes spoke volumes. Gracefully he crossed to his chair settling himself and swinging his long legs up onto the desk never ceasing his endless chatter. "Of course I could do with more coffee and milk oh and a heap of printer paper…oh and Zechs didn't bring any extra printers yesterday so we could probably do with another four of those. Oh and if you really want to help, could you have some lunch brought up to us… I am sure I will forget otherwise." He smiled his most disarming smile and waited.

Sally glared and the tension in the room grew. Surprisingly Une placed a hand on Sally's arm and spoke. "No need to be so sarcastic Duo…it's unbecoming in you." Duo just continued to grin. "Fine…I see you don't need us…I'll send you the things you require." The women got up and left the room. Duo watched them go, still smiling and then turned to face his screens.

Quatre was puzzled. "Duo…you didn't need to be that hard on them you know."

Duo's shoulders tightened and he swiveled his chair and turned to face him again, head down, hands resting idly in his lap, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. Suddenly he looked vulnerable, afraid and alone and Quatre regretted doubting his friend. Those shining passionate violet orbs looked up at him and even without empathy Quatre could feel the pain inside his friend…the turbulence…the anger.

"I need people I can trust Quatre."

"But surely you can…" The blond boy was cut off sharply before he could finish.

"They killed him Cat, they sent my life to his death. They killed him. I will not forgive them." Smile gone, Duo's face was stern and cold.

Quatre tried to reason with him. "Heero volunteered for the mission Duo…they didn't kill him."

Duo looked at Cat for what seemed an age and spoke barely audibly before turning to face his screens yet again. "I know he did…my trust in him was misplaced…and now I cant forgive him either."

In the shocked silence all that could be heard was Duo hammering away at two keyboards immersing himself in the systems, escaping the reality around him.

Quatre was worried about him…really worried. The blond boy frowned and kept forgetting to concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing, when suddenly Wufei was standing over him, face unreadable.

Once certain he had his smaller lover's attention Wufei's voice was gruff, lowered to a tone so as not to disrupt Duo's obvious concentration. "You aren't doing any of us any good, or being of any help at the moment Winner. You need to close off those emotion sensors of yours and concentrate on the task at hand."

Quatre blushed and realized that he had probably been staring at Duo's back with a frown on his face. He shut his barriers down and stopped trying to read his complicated longhaired friend. "Sorry." He smiled up at Wufei. "Couldn't help it…you know me." Wufei claimed his rose bud lips in a chaste kiss.

"Yes…I do…" And he simply walked back and sat down at his screen…getting on with his mission.

Duo didn't hear the altercation between his friends. His eyes were scanning for that loop…It was in every file, it was in every single file of every single mission that Heero had been on for the past six months. Although Duo hadn't had a chance to check further back, he was fairly certain that it would be the same whenever he looked. He frowned and turned suddenly…startling the others.

"Wufei…unlock your files for me and send them to my terminal."

Wufei's face blanched at Duo's commanding tone and his face took on a stubborn set. "Define my files."

"Your mission files and research from the past 6 months…I need to corroborate something."

For a moment Wufei hesitated, and then nodded. It didn't take long before the task was done, and the Chinese boy knew better than to turn around and ask Duo what the hell was going on at that point in time. He would get more sense out of the braided baka once the boy had completed his objective. It was only honourable to Wufei, that he would get his explanation then.

Focusing…Duo dived into the files of his friends and their missions. Wufei was the only one he had needed to ask permission from…he could have hacked it easily but Wufei would be offended and he needed his friends on his side right then. Frowning again he swore as he found what he was looking for, it was too easy…so easy he almost hadn't seen it. His comrades stopped what they were doing and looked at him, but he was oblivious to their reactions.

That damn pattern was laced through every single file. All of their missions, as if it was watching them. It hadn't taken a genius to write it…but how the fuck did it get into the system. Gritting his teeth he tried another variance and sat back a little stunned. "Hmmm" Again he looked at the information that was on one of the screens. Entering the pattern he was looking for into the other screen he sent it to the terminal Zechs was using.

"Zechs incoming." Duo barely even paused before giving directions. "Search for that pattern, take a couple of random Preventer officers and see if that pattern is evident in their files." Duo knew that Zechs would have the relevant codes to access those files.

Zechs just nodded, which was not seen by Duo, but the braided boy did not doubt that his orders would be carried out. He just continued to sit and stare at the screen…absently chewing on the end of his braid.

Quatre stood and walked over to look over his friends shoulder. "What have you found Duo?"

Duo pointed to the screen…and Quatre bent over and looked…gasped a little, stood up and went pale. "What the…" Duo held up his hand motioning for the smaller boy to keep silent a little.

"Is it there Zechs?"

"No…have scanned 6 files for it…what is it?"

Duo swiveled to face his friends. "It is in all five of our files…" He stressed the word five. The faces of the others were surprised and wary.

"And just what is it Maxwell." Wufei wasn't feeling very patient.

"It…is as far as I can tell…a tracking pattern. Made to look like a glitch in the system that can't be helped. The thing is…its only the two weeks before he…before the incident, " Duo only just managed to catch himself in time. "That the pattern entered the system. I don't know why it didn't trigger alarms…but it entered and knew about missions after entrance before they were carried out; as well as being able to draw out all the information of missions past. The only fucking files they didn't manage to get into are mine…my private mission details, my quasi mission journal details. Because I protect mine more than you…Even Mr fucking perfect, who should have known better, didn't protect his." His voice held anger tinged with resentment and he took a few deep breaths, making sure he had more control over himself. "Of course it is only centered on ex-gundam pilot files. And that my dear friends…" He concluded with his usual bantering flare because if he didn't, he was going to scream…and he wasn't going to stop once he started. "is the reason why they knew where he would be and when he would be there, because as meticulous as Mr Perfect is, he documented everything in his personal files so he would have every minute detail recorded for later. Because he couldn't let up on his training, he fucking got himself killed. Perfect really don't you think?" The smile on his face was typical Duo…but the eyes in his face were slowly losing their sanity.

He couldn't stand the silence…he needed there to be noise, preferable someone dying and writhing beneath his hands. Duo looked down at his hands, fidgeting with the rings and not quite seeing what was in front of him. In a detached obnoxious voice he broke the silence and continued to ramble.

"Of course the pattern should have been detected. Who ever was performing the routine maintenance was lax, or else is not qualified for the job. I noticed the pattern yesterday…and investigated it further, trying to find what it was. For anyone with even half the knowledge I have, it should have been a piece of cake…but then I guess you all know me…I know everything." He stopped, he just couldn't speak anymore.

Almost wearily he continued. "Zechs stop what you're doing and trace …on second thoughts…I'll do that…don't worry."

A hand laid on his shoulder and beautiful blue green eyes looked into his. "Duo, its passed midday, food should be here soon…you need sustenance first."

"No Quatre…I need closure…so my meaningless existence can come to the end you wouldn't let it have."

Knowing he had injured his friend Duo turned away from those eyes and started back into those screens, knowing he didn't have time to be weak. Concentrating Duo began the trace that seemed to be impossible.

The others continued silently, gathering the information they had set out to get, until there was a knock at the door to deliver them lunch and the supplies that Duo had

requested.

The others moved over to the conference table in the large room and began chatting over the food on the table. Duo didn't hear them…he was too lost in what he was doing. Quatre was about to walk over to him when the tall green eyed boy put his hand on the smaller boy's shoulder. "Let me Quat…" a little surprised Quatre looked up and simply nodded. Trowa squeezed his lover's shoulder and walked over to where Duo was deep in concentration. The tall boy leant on the desk and folded his arms, looking down at his friend through the long bangs that always covered one of his eyes. Slowly Duo became aware of a presence next to him and he looked up from his works irritably, hands poised over the keyboards.

"You know Duo…I was never the technological expert you all were…" The usually silent boy was affecting a drawl. "But I am pretty sure if I were to turn off these here screens you would have to stop what you are doing…" Seeing the look of stubbornness in those violet eyes, Trowa pushed away his usual penchant for silence and carried on, over the top of whatever retort Duo had been going to utter. "Of course I could push the button on that there big `ol box and see what that does."

Duo's face at first registered shock until he realized that the corners of Trowa's mouth were trying really hard not to smile. Suddenly the irritation fell away and he slightly regretted his words of before. He grinned and spoke only half seriously. "Touch that button Trowa and I may have to kill you." He winked and stood…stretching his hands high above his head and sauntered over to the table. Trowa watched the braid swing jauntily and frowned at himself. He would never understand that boy, not in the past four years…and not in the next million, but it didn't make him any less a good friend.

Duo reached out a hand to grab a breadroll and some roast chicken and reached out his left, injured arm and ruffled Quatre's hair. The blond haired boy looked up at his chestnut haired friend and grinned that open honest grin that everyone loved him for.

"Sorry Cat…guess a sharing your life with someone for four years, you're bound to pick up a few of their bastardy traits." He grinned and started on his second roll.

Duo really put in an effort around that table…trying to talk to each of his friends, trying to make them understand that he was really appreciative of their efforts and very grateful as well. It relaxed them all, Duo's never ending banter…his cheerful ways…that winning personality that won him acceptance no matter where he went. And everyone took it at face value…Duo knew that and reveled in its security.

"Shit!" Quatre startled all of them by swearing, considering the aristocratic young man usually never swore. He pushed passed the hand of his lovers that were resting idly on each side of his waste and jumped onto the chair at his computer. Typing away furiously he shook his head so the others wouldn't interrupt him while he had an idea. Duo settled himself behind his young friend…hands on his hips, probably not realizing how tantalizing that made his well-toned body look. One person in the room certainly noticed and blushed a little. Cocking his head to one side, Duo picked at the end of his braid rubbing it over the rings in his hands, subconsciously trying to give himself some reassurance. Suddenly it clicked in his head as he realized what Quatre was doing and he smiled…probably the first fully sincere smiled he had smiled since the morning of his 19th birthday.

"Done!" The accomplishment shone from Quatre's face as he looked back at Duo who was absently clapping him on the back as he looked at the information on the screen and frowned…thinking deeply. A little perturbed Quatre looked back and blanched at the information he saw on the screen. The program wasn't even all that sophisticated, it hadn't been all that well hidden and all that could only lead to once conclusion. An insider had put it there, and that insider would have to have access to maintenance because there was no way in hell that it should not have been detected.

Cursing, Duo moved and sat himself at his station. Flexing his fingers once and cracking his knuckles he set at it from two different perspectives…achieving what Quatre had achieved in a matter of seconds on one screen, then switching both hands to the other screen to delve in deeper and read the file that had so easily been inserted into the Preventer Computer Database. He frowned…and traced it again, he turned it inside out and upside down and back the front again. He didn't even need to use the tracing machines for this one. Then he laughed…gods he felt like an idiot. "You know guys." He was relaxed now, this was a walk in the park for someone with his skills…but it was just that which had stopped him from seeing the possibility for so long. Instead of trying to find a way into it through all possible secret entrances, he simply needed to click and open the file. "Sometimes my own intelligence scares me." Grinning impishly he opened the file. Warning bleeps sounded from his mainframe but Duo didn't panic. His system was protected by virus repelling programs he developed himself and he knew nothing could get past them, besides he had expected something like that. He just continued working as his system picked apart and annihilated the offending `bug'.

"Done!" His voice had turned icy. "Gentlemen meet the men I am about to go and give a new eye." He turned the screen so everyone could see. Three Preventers ID cards popped up on the screen. All three had systems maintenance clearance…all three with the capabilities to detect such a bug and obvious to everyone in the room that they weren't incompetent. Of course the question of why the hell would you insert a big like that into a system where the people you were setting it on were amongst the greatest hackers in the world…recognized and non-recognized. It left only one more explanation; why, and all three were on shift together for the next hour. With everyone's faces secured on the monitor taking in all the information, no one realized straight away that Duo had left the room.

"Shit!" This time Wufei had startled everyone by swearing. "Maxwell is about to be an idiot." He set out after the braided boy towards the systems analyst's rooms, followed closely by Trowa and Quatre. Zechs sighed and called through to Une and Sally leaving a brief summary with them consisting of something like. "Have lead…three system analysts…here now…taking into custody unless Duo beats us to it."

The other four arrived at the office barely a minute after Duo. Arriving there they saw the black clad man standing over three bodies, while people cowered in the offices behind him. He grinned up at their worried faces…exhilaration showing in his eyes…as if the adrenalin rush had done him good. "You know… you would think that people would stop trying to flee Shinigami…I am going to get them whether they like it or not." He winked at his friends…and then paused …"What?"

Wufei bent to take the pulse of the one nearest him and found it…the man was just unconscious. "Hmm"

Duo chuckled. "Oh come off it guys I wasn't going to kill them." Their doubtful faces looked at him and he grinned maniacally at them grasping his braid in his hand and pulling it over his shoulder.

Grin still set in place he continued. "I mean… I need them to kill the big wigs…they're just small fry and we need to interrogate them. Besides…" his voice grew colder, dispassionate…"I can kill them for mild amusement when all my real fun is gone."

"Enough Duo." Lady Une's voice cut across the slightly awkward silence. She ignored the fact that his eyes glinted dangerously. Directing the guards that had come with them to search the men and remove them to the cells near the interrogation room, she turned to Duo. His eyes were closed off again… as if he hadn't been close to the edge a few moments before. "Well done…I am very surprised none of them had a snapped neck."

Duo grinned and even though it seemed amicable, it made her blood freeze. "Yeah well boss…" The word held no ounce of respect…but that in itself was typical Duo…"I have a rather large rip in one arm…even I have trouble snapping someone's neck with one hand." No one thought it necessary to point out that Duo could snap, and had indeed snapped necks with a kick before.

He smirked at the group and walked back to the room. He glanced at the clock again as he entered, annoyed that he had left his watch in the hospital, but that couldn't be helped now. It was later in the afternoon than he had expected, and suddenly he just wanted to be alone. As the others filed into the room he looked at each of them.

"Guys…memorise this. Room code Alpha 8 2 gamma B 5…Password… traitor of mine, held inside." He refused to explain himself and acknowledge the mild curiosity on the faces of his comrades.

"Go home…we've all had enough today… and to be honest I am tired." He knew it was only around five o'clock but he just needed to be alone…needed to be left alone, to sleep, to shower…to just think.

Wufei stalled Quatre who seemed about to protest. "Same time tomorrow Maxwell?"

Flashing a grateful smile at the Chinese boy Duo nodded. "Yeah…someone bring some chocolate, and some biscuits and oh hell get me a hamburger."

"For Breakfast Duo?" Quatre seemed a little shocked. "You still have atrocious eating habits."

"Yeah I do Quat…but you still love me" He winked at his friend as he ushered them out of the door.

Quatre was frowning, as if he wanted to go back in and see his friend but Trowa rested an hand on the blond's arm. "Leave it Cat…he is using up a lot of energy at the moment just thinking…"

Quatre looked up into green eyes in surprise at his usually stoic lover's extent of perception. "Oh…yeah I guess he would be."

As the three ex-gundam pilots walked away Zechs watched them, throughtfully. Duo needed a distraction, he needed to focus on something other than what he was trying to get done. Frowning in thought Zechs walked back to his own office to go through some files there.

Leaning against the door, Duo took deep, shuddering breaths. The others just had no idea how close he had come to snapping the necks of those traitorous fucks with a kick to just the right spot. But he hadn't…the big fish was what he was after…and he would catch it.

He sighed and slowed himself down. Pushing himself away from the door he made his way into the bathroom. Getting a towel and laying it ready he looked in the newly replaced mirror, frowning at Preventer staff efficiency as he started to remove his clothes. Clinically he looked at his body. His pecks were toned well…just the right mixture of muscle for his build…not overdone…a nipple ring looped through the left nipple and he closed his eyes momentarily as he remembered the feel of Heero's mouth sucking in that very spot. Leaning his hands on the now cleared sink he stared at his face… large violet eyes staring back at him. Straightening up, he removed his pants and looked down at his well formed abs, following his fitness formed thighs down to his feet. He had two tattoos…one on each hip. On his left hip was his beloved Deathscythe, beautifully rendered by the artist who had placed it there…and on his right…was Wing Zero, courtesy of the same artist. Heero had always called him beautiful…looking at himself Duo felt doubt cloud his mind yet again.

"If you really thought I was beautiful Heero you wouldn't have left me…you wouldn't have abandoned me. You selfish fucking prick." His voice rose…he could feel himself losing the tenuous grip he had managed and forced himself to relax digging his fingernails into his hands so hard he drew blood.

Reaching behind his back he snapped the tie on his hair and unbraided it, letting it fall over his body like the curtain he knew it was. He felt safe when he was alone like this…he needed to feel that safety then…needed it badly. With both hands, eyes still concentrating on their reflection, he tugged at his hair…brushing his fingers through it…snagging it roughly. The pain made his eyes water and it was only that pain that convinced him he was still alive and awake and the whole thing hadn't been just an ugly dream. Suddenly the urge for a shower was gone. He needed tension relief…and if he didn't get to the gym soon and work some of it off on a punching bag…the next person who disturbed the ex-gundam pilot's peace was going to become that punching bag. Pulling on his gym shorts and grabbing one of the gym towels he headed out the door slamming it behind him, knowing that this late in an afternoon it would be relatively empty. "Good I can break anything I want to and no one can yell at me." As he stalked towards his destination, braiding his hair quickly and efficiently back into its habitual braid, Duo failed to notice he was being watched.

~~**~~

To be continued

Hope the editing isn't hurting people's eyes too badly, and that the story is making up for having to read past my mistakes. Hope you enjoyed it.