Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Somewhere I Belong ❯ Consequential Deliberations ( Chapter 12 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Author: Arithion/Arithkenshin

Email: arithkenshin@yahoo.co.uk

Title: Somewhere I Belong

Rating: NC17

Archives: http://www.goldenyaoihuggle.com/welcomepage.htm , http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/ under Arithkenshin

Pairings: 1x2, 3x4x5, S+U

Warnings: Angst, self-mutilation, Yaoi, Psychological, Drama, Action, Suspense, Romance,

Disclaimer: Not mine already! Stop rubbing it in.

Summary: Sequel to Some Way Back. How will Duo deal with the things of the previous eighteen months? How will the others deal? Why are otherwise healthy children dying? When everything else seems forsaken, can hope pull you through?

Notes: Again, I want to thank people for bearing with me. But as you can see, it's going to start appearing regularly again. Probably about once a week…

Huge thanks to Sol for her beta work and constant prodding to get my butt into gear. Hugs go to the rest of the War Room too.

Somewhere I Belong: Consequential Deliberations

Duo stood staring at the vid-phone after he hung up on the orphanage. A slight frown marred his face as he tried to place the origin of that uneasy feeling running around inside him. It was the orphanage. He knew he had felt a certain tension there the previous day and had thought it to be the excitement of the occasion, but if he really thought about it, there was something off about that assumption.

He ran through the events in his mind, and the only really odd thing that stood out was James. Duo shrugged. He was sure that he would have seemed out of place in the orphanage when he was a child, so he pushed the thoughts away, blatantly ignoring the nagging in the back of his mind. It seemed his intuition was having a field day.

Still valiantly ignoring the voice in his head, he turned his attention to Quatre's impending visit… and groaned. Thinking of Quatre made him think about the rest of the Gundam Pilots, which of course included Heero. And that was the exact train of thought he had been trying to avoid since he began fighting with his hair that morning.

The vid-phone rang, or to be more precise, belted out a rather loud rendition of one of Duo's all time favourite music pieces. He frowned, wondering who could be calling him. Duo checked the caller ID, and his frown deepened. His number wasn't listed in any directory and no one but those he trusted had his number. The tracking system he used to keep record of who called him could pick up any number no matter what was protecting him.

Duo was curious, and clicked the button to accept the call. Une's face flickered onto the view screen. His first thought encompassed the fact that he definitely knew why the number was untraceable. He'd designed the system for the Preventers, and all of the higher ranks used it. His second thought made him scowl, so he voiced it out loud.

"What the fuck do you want?"

Although her face blanched, it managed to firm with resolve. "I want…no, I need your help."

Duo couldn't help it. He threw back his head and laughed, until tears ran down his face, belatedly realising that Une was indeed still on the phone. Duo allowed himself to smirk. "Wow, that is rich. You need my help?"

Une nodded. "It's important Duo. We need all of you… this… it's bigger than we thought, than we could have expected. Hell, it's something we never expected."

Duo laughed again. "And just what makes you think I give a flying rats arse about something that is your job to take care of?"

She looked exasperated with the longhaired man. "Because, Duo, you're the best at what you do, and we need you. If you don't help us, if none of you aid us in this, it's already a lost cause.

Violet-eyes glinted dangerously, his voice deadly quiet as he spoke. "Why, yes, I would be the best at what I do. Pity you didn't think about that before you decided to fuck up my sense of stability and security."

Une's eyes flashed in return. "Fine! Keep worrying at the damn bone, Maxwell. Will you help or not!"

"Stick your fucking job." Duo leaned forward, hand about to hit the disconnect button, when he saw Sally move into view, momentarily startling him. He couldn't believe she said the only thing that could stop him from hitting that switch.

"It's killing children, Duo… orphans."

#*#

James was sore… very sore. His limbs were aching and his head was spinning, as if he hadn't had any liquid in days. He was also fully aware that he had slept away most of the day and that it was approaching midday, or at least, that's what his clock told him. Unless he'd missed a day and then he would have to work…

Frantic eyes sought out the date on his clock, and a sigh of relief escaped the youth. Anything but to go back there…anything. You could stop if you really wanted to, he told himself. You'd only need to abandon those lollies. But even his mind balked to go as far than that.

James tried to reason with himself. Surely it wasn't that bad for him, if adults were the ones getting him to work the job. He idly wondered if other children had similar jobs, but dismissed the idea immediately. He really didn't want to know.

He stood slowly and pulled a rumpled pair of jeans from the floor of his cramped room. As he got dressed, he had to bite down to stop his teeth from chattering. In a moment of lucid clarity he resisted the urge to pop one of his sweets into his mouth, so that the warmth could spread throughout his body once more. He grasped onto that feeling of rebellion, strengthening himself with it, and he didn't know why.

The sounds of movement were evident throughout the building, which meant that everyone had woken up and were probably playing with their Christmas toys. James eyed his truck wearily again. Would they expect him to play with it? He hoped not. All he wanted to do was curl up in front of the fireplace and keep warm. He'd had so much trouble keeping warm lately.

#*#

There was silence as Duo continued to stare incredulously at the vid-phone. Thoughts flew through his head, whirling around and making it impossible to make sense of things. His eyes narrowed and the tone of his voice was dangerous as he broke the silence.

"If that was an attempt to get my attention, Sally, it was a good one. If it was a false attempt to stop me from hanging up on you… I'll be over there in 10 minutes to kill you. I don't give a shit if you're a woman. That is not something you joke about." He waited, tense as a springboard.

A sigh of what sounded like relief emerged from Sally. "I'm not joking, Duo. It's the truth."

A brief look of consternation passed over Duo's face. He hadn't really wanted to hear that. In fact, he'd been hoping Sally was joking because now he really felt like he needed to relieve some pent up anger. He glanced down at his bare feet, idly noting that he needed to cut his toenails. But he was only delaying the inevitable; the conversation wasn't going to go away just because he was trying his best to ignore it. Besides, he needed to know now… it was a topic very close to his heart.

He looked up, expression resigned, "I'm listening."

#*#

Maellin decided it was time for him to emerge from his office and make his charges something for lunch. He wasn't really very good with children, but he usually made the most of it. In a way, he didn't really have a choice. It was hard to lead a life hiding the fact that you were actually an abomination.

He sighed quietly and made his way into the kitchen, dismissing his depressing thoughts as something he didn't have time for right then. Most of the children were playing with their Christmas presents. It made him smile, and he was thankful that they had managed to get a Santa like Duo. The longhaired man had gone to great lengths to make sure each child had exactly what they'd wanted, with a little something on the side.

The children were happy, or at least, most of them were. Maellin frowned as his eyes scanned the room. His gaze fell on a figure huddled in the armchair in front of the fire. All the children around the room were playing or talking or simply spending time with each other, except for one.

James sat curled up on the armchair in a pair of worn jeans and a very large pullover. His eyes stared blankly at the fire, and if Maellin wasn't mistaken, directly through it to something only James could see.

Maellin almost ached with the urge to go over and try to bring a smile to the child's face. But he knew it was futile because the expression would soon fade. Mae ran a hand through his hair as he realised he'd already taken steps in that direction. He steeled himself and continued into the kitchen, pushing thoughts of James to the back of his mind. Maellin didn't have time to spend comforting a child. It was far too dangerous a thing for him to do anyway.

#*#

Duo blinked at the monitor, pinched himself, grimaced, and then blinked again. He felt like he was in a sci-fi movie full of special effects and weird story lines. Then the reality of what he had just heard slammed into him and he could feel the anger burning inside. "What do you have and what do you need?"

Une looked relieved at his words and took off her glasses for a moment, rubbing at the bridge of her nose, before replacing them. "I'd appreciate it if you could come down to headquarters for a briefing. All of you."

Duo nodded. The side of him rebelling against ever aiding the Preventers again was quashed by his lust for revenge on any bastards who would drug children.

"I'll contact the others." Une looked down at something on the desk in front of her.

"I've got Quatre. He should be here any minute. Be there shortly." Before any response could be made, Duo disconnected the call and stepped bank staring at the now blank screen. His breath was coming in short gasps as he fought to drown out the voices whispering to him in the back of his head. The ghosts from his past coming to visit, hauled out by the simple phrase of `orphan deaths'.

Duo shuddered, taking a mental grip on himself. He didn't have time to lapse into memory right then. Who knew how long it would take for him to snap out of it. Squaring his shoulders Duo took the stairs two at a time to his bedroom, stopping in the bathroom on the way to grab his pills and swallow them dry. He definitely didn't need to be getting morose when they were going over the briefing.

He grabbed a pair of black jeans, a crimson shirt and buckled his leather boots before flying down the stairs four at a time to arrive just as Quatre raised his fist to knock at the door.

The door swung open, revealing a slightly surprised Quatre. "Well, you timed that well."

Duo just grinned. "Come on, we need to go." And he pulled Quatre with him, locking the door behind them both.

"Uh… Duo. Where are we going?" Quatre felt a little confused.

"Preventers Headquarters. Oh and you should call the other two, or they won't come. Trust me, it's important."

Quatre blinked owlishly as he got onto the bike behind Duo. He punched a message into his phone and sent it off, muttering under his breath. "If you're going to the headquarters it's not important, it's a bloody miracle."

"More like Armageddon, Quatre." Despite the quip in Duo's voice, Quatre could hear the seriousness underlying it. He hadn't really thought Duo had heard him to begin with.

#*#

Wufei's mobile phone beeped shrilly and he reached over lazily to grab it off the coffee table. The vid-phone rang in the background as Wufei re-read the message on his mobile, while Trowa got up to answer the phone.

Black eyes blinked. Wufei was trying to understand the cryptic message Quatre had sent to him. It's okay, Duo and I are already on our way. Just do as she asks.

Not having paid attention to Trowa's departure, Wufei opened his mouth to ask if his lover knew what Quatre meant, when he realised that Trowa was having a conversation. Perhaps being talked at was more accurate. Wufei rose from the couch and approached the vid-phone to see who had Trowa's back up. To an unobservant eye, Trowa looked calm and relaxed, but Wufei could see that he was tense. Trowa was angry.

As the vid-phone came into view, Wufei was immediately made aware of why Trowa was angry. Une's face could clearly be seen and she was speaking.

"…long story short, Trowa. We need you five for this. It requires your abilities. It would be appreciated if you could come to headquarters with Wufei and listen to the whole story."

It was only then that the message on Wufei's pager made complete sense. "We'll be there."

Une looked relieved and a little surprised, but it was no rival for the look of shock on Trowa's usually impassive face. "Thank you, both."

Wufei waved his hand dismissively and scowled slightly. "Don't thank us, Une. Just hope we think what you have to tell us is worth putting aside our differences with you at this point in time. I'll inform Heero. See you shortly."

The screen flicked off and Trowa turned to Wufei, his expression questioning.

"Quatre sent a message." Wufei didn't need to say more. They knew each other inside and out. Trowa nodded and headed upstairs to fetch something to cover his bare torso, while Wufei grabbed the car keys and their jackets. He flipped open the mobile phone and dialled Heero's number.

#*#

Just as he was about to slip out of the door, Heero's phone rang. He frowned, but decided to answer it anyway, and was surprised to hear Wufei on the other end of it. Before Heero could greet the Chinese man, he was cut off.

Wufei's voice sounded terse, as if something was bothering him. "Get to Preventers Headquarters now." Heero blinked as Wufei continued. "Duo and Quatre will arrive before us. We'll meet you there. You'll get an explanation, don't worry."

"On my way." The only response Heero got was the click of the phone on the other end. He frowned as he headed out the door, wondering if it was a bad thing that his first thought had been about seeing Duo again, instead of about why they were needed.

#*#

The room was sanitarily white. That sort of white that's trademarked to every hospital or psychiatric institute worldwide. The figure on the bed was sleeping, her eyelids flickering in her drug-induced slumber. A moan escaped her lips, and her face frowned with memories best forgotten. Scattered remnants of times she couldn't clearly remember.

Mira was dreaming.

It was cold, and she felt small. No, she was small; small and young. She frowned, eyes glancing down her body and taking in her apparel. The clothing was non descript, and hung off her prepubescent form. She stood, her limbs feeling ungainly, yet somehow possessing an innate strength that belied her age.

Something jostled her to the side and Mira raised her eyes to see what it was. Her mouth dropped open in shock. The entire room was filled with children. Just as silent, just as small, almost exactly like her.

Before she could speak, ask a question or scream, the door at the far end opened admitting a man who looked hauntingly familiar to her. She could feel her skin begin to crawl, her limbs begin to feel heavy and her head begin to feel numb. All she wanted to do was run, but her childlike form wouldn't listen to her. It seemed she had inherent trust in the newcomer, and nothing she could do allowed her to move.

Her internal battle waned as the man approached her. His white coat reminded her of something she shouldn't have known at that age, and her awareness blurred momentarily as she tried to define what was real and what was memory.

As the needle was inserted into her arm, Mira tried to scream. But her young self didn't want any part of it. She happily let herself be injected, and Mira wanted to break down and sob.

No…no…Don't start, a voice whispered in her head. Let it end, before you let it start.

The memory faded.

The dream changed, and she felt older, and glanced down at herself once more. Her body was developing, and her mind tried to shy away from the things that meant, but instead the memories ripped her into the vicious loop. Mira was standing in an examination room, in a hospital gown, open at the back. Her arms were attached to a device that was taking readings and three different needles were partially inserted into different parts of her skull, injecting specific formulas into her.

They were her essence of life; it was a life she hated. There weren't many females like her, so she was somewhat unique. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why being unique was supposed to be such a good thing.

The procedure took three days and she underwent it once every two weeks. Her mind cried out for her to rebel, put an end to it and everything else. But the girl hooked up to the machines didn't flinch. It was a part of who she was, and a part of what she was trained to be. She accepted it as something that had to be, because that was what she had been raised to believe.

Mira knew better. She screamed at herself to break free of the restraints. She screamed at herself to rip out the stimulants, drugs and steroids that were being pumped through her nervous system. She screamed…

… so loud she woke up.

Her bedclothes were drenched in sweat, her hair nearly as bad and her chest was heaving as she gulped in deep breaths. Mira coughed, the raspy feeling in the back of her throat making her aware that if she weren't careful, she would cough blood again. She didn't need the unnecessary attention of the doctor again.

As she settled down to try and complete her nap, she vaguely remembered how strong she had been, and how invincible she was used to feeling. All Mira wanted to do was die, but they wouldn't let her. She couldn't be used against him if she was dead.

#*#

Duo walked through Preventers Headquarters, Quatre trailing in his wake. The longhaired man wore a smile on his face, but his eyes didn't miss a thing. He boiled inside but refused to show it. It was the last place he wanted to be, but if children were really dying, it was somewhere he had to be.

Still, it didn't mean he couldn't have fun.

With his usual flair, he walked through the waiting area outside Une's office. It was the day after Christmas, and there were few secretarial staff around. Somewhat relieved, he burst through Une's door.

Seating himself with preamble, Duo sank into one of the chairs giving him a view of the entire room and propped his feet up on the coffee table. "You know, you really should get someone decent to do your security, Une. Every time I leave this place, it just goes to shit. You're supposed to be protecting people, not inviting assassins in and offering them a cup of tea."

"And which category would you fall under, Duo?"

The grin that crossed Duo's face, certainly didn't reach his eyes as he retorted without missing a beat. "I'd be the assassin. I'll let you know when I decide on my target."

Une blinked, but was saved from replying by Sally's entrance. Sally took one look at her friend and another at the Gundam Pilots and sighed. "Really, Duo. Is it that hard to give us a chance?" Her voice was impatient.

"Gee, I don't know Sal. You really want me to answer that?"

This time Sally blinked. "No… I guess not." Her voice was unhappy, but resigned.

"Excellent answer. No, really. I'll give you an 8.5 for that one…"

"The others should be here shortly." Quatre's smooth insertion was punctuated by a glare at Duo, who returned a petulant scowl.

The tension in the room was palpable, and when the other three Gundam Pilots arrived it certainly didn't lessen.

Duo realised he was fidgeting. It was taking every ounce of willpower that he possessed not to get up and walk out of the room. He worried at the scar on his left arm, pinching at it, trying not to notice how smooth the surgery had managed to make it. Anything to take his mind off what he didn't want to think about…anything to take his mind off Heero.

Heero was sitting way too close for Duo's comfort. Damn it, Duo thought, Heero was supposed to be dead. He'd been dead for 18 months. Hell, living in the same city sometimes felt too close. Being in the same room was making Duo feel claustrophobic.

Une started talking, and Duo focused on his breathing, idly turning the rings around his fingers. He zoned in on the timber of her voice, needing something to concentrate on. His expression remained outwardly the same, a cocky confidence shaded by disdain.

…overseeing a project…the Trillium Project…

Inside he was in turmoil. The information was overwhelming, not in its volume, but in its intensity.

…to successfully clone an enhanced human being…


There was something nagging at the back of Duo's mind, through the entire briefing.

…for humans it was death through enslavement…

Something he knew that he should be more aware of, but at that point in time was having extreme difficulty attaining.

…eventually ending in complete organ failure and death…

Une had finished. "Any questions?" Her face looked apprehensive, as if expecting a rebuff, which would undoubtedly leave her in the unenviable position of not being able to do anything about it.

Duo was about to retort, when Quatre stood up suddenly. Violet eyes rested on the blonde with curiosity.

Quatre's face was pale, and his eyes weren't focusing on anyone in particular. "I … will need to get some fresh air. It's awfully stuffy in here. Shan't be long."

Duo blinked as his best friend all but ran for the door. Realisation hit him, and he stood up to go after Quatre, the words still ringing in his ears.

…funded by Winner Enterprises…

~~**~~