Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Souls Disappear in the Snow ❯ Refuge ( Chapter 2 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: masamune 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Thriller / Suspense / Supernatural / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.27.2002 | Updated On: 03.31.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.6K | Visits: 690 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Thriller / Suspense / Supernatural / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.27.2002 | Updated On: 03.31.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.6K | Visits: 690 | Status: Work In Progress
Souls Disappear in the Snow
- by masamune reforged '06
MasamuneEHS@hotmail.com
MasamuneEHS@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, nor any of the characters from Gundam Wing.
Warnings: yaoi (established 3x4, developing 1x2 and...), angst, violence, supernatural, cursing,
Archive: Anyone that wishes to archive this fic is welcome to.
Archive: Anyone that wishes to archive this fic is welcome to.
Recap: Just as they were about to begin missions against OZ in space, the pilots' shuttle crashes to Earth. Wufei is badly injured and lost in the frozen tundra. He is found by Quatre and Duo and passes out
Part 2- Refuge
Awakening was a horrible experience. I guess it was the fact that I'd been through the frozen equivalent of hellish torment for the past few… minutes? Hours? How long? I wasn't sure of how long it'd been since the crash, the graceless fall that had left me in the brutal cold, with only my insecurities and fears. It all felt very far away and fuzzy, like a memory from childhood or an escaping dream. But collapsing on the frozen steppe was the last thing I could remember.
Returning to the world of the living, I was quickly washed over by a host of feelings, emotions, questions that all seemed to prick my brain sinisterly as they flowed relentlessly, taking the question of time with them, buoying out into the great sea of consciousness.
I asked myself: Where am I?
Pain.
Once again I asked myself: Am I alive?
Part 2- Refuge
Awakening was a horrible experience. I guess it was the fact that I'd been through the frozen equivalent of hellish torment for the past few… minutes? Hours? How long? I wasn't sure of how long it'd been since the crash, the graceless fall that had left me in the brutal cold, with only my insecurities and fears. It all felt very far away and fuzzy, like a memory from childhood or an escaping dream. But collapsing on the frozen steppe was the last thing I could remember.
Returning to the world of the living, I was quickly washed over by a host of feelings, emotions, questions that all seemed to prick my brain sinisterly as they flowed relentlessly, taking the question of time with them, buoying out into the great sea of consciousness.
I asked myself: Where am I?
Pain.
Once again I asked myself: Am I alive?
Pain.
For the countless number of times I asked myself: What's wrong with me?
My head hurts.
My chest hurts.
My leg hurts.
I came to the conclusion: I must be alive if I'm feeling this kind of pain.
I hurt.
This time I asked myself: Where am I?
My head hurts.
This time I sought the answer desperately: What the hell's wrong with me?
I hurt.
This time I asked myself: Where am I?
My head hurts.
This time I sought the answer desperately: What the hell's wrong with me?
My chest hurts.
This time I confusedly asked: Who the is asking all these questions?
This time I confusedly asked: Who the is asking all these questions?
My leg hurts like hell.
And I answered:
I am.”
I had to focus. Everything going on inside of my head didn't make sense. I needed something concrete to grip onto. Asking myself questions wasn't helping. I quickly decided that whatever was going on in my muddled mind would resolve itself in time. I had to get a grasp on what was happening around me, what happened after the crash, what happened after I blacked out in the blizzard.
“Where am I?” I finally asked out loud.
I tried to make it as simple as possible; my head couldn't take much. I pushed everything to the back of my mind; hopefully it wouldn't create such a stir there. Instead of letting myself drown in the chaotic discords taking over my head, I tried to find solutions to them in the place surrounding me.
I was in a barren room, lying under heavy blankets that smelled musty and long kept. Aside from the overly large bed that I lay in, the room was furnished only with a hulking brown dresser and a chair which Trowa was seated in, absentmindedly looking out the only window in the entire room.
“Hey,” I said to get his attention. He didn't respond, continuing to gaze outwards. “Hey Trowa.”
Turning almost in surprise, the uni-banged pilot almost rose out of his seat at the sound of my voice. He gazed blankly at me for a moment, blinked a couple times, and said nothing.
“Are you alright?” I asked, slightly irritated by what I somehow thought was his gawking at me.
“Eh, I'm fine,” He answered in a low voice. “But I should be the one asking you. How are you feeling?”
“My leg hurts like hell,” I replied simply.
“It's broken,” Trowa said blankly.
“Wonderful.” I quipped. I tried to move it around, feeling the heavy splints restricting my movement. I gritted my teeth as I lifted it.
Trowa turned his chair to face me. There was no sound but my own breathing and the scratch of the legs on the wooden floor. It was the first time I noticed just how quiet it was in the room. There was no buzzing electricity, no whir of machinery, no chattering voices, no birds, no wind, no leaves falling to the ground outside. It had been a long time since I'd witnessed silence of this magnitude.
“Those splints feel like Heero put them on, tight as hell...” I grunted as I raised the blankets with my injured leg. “Eh, well it's a good thing you didn't take me to a hospital. The enemy would have been all over us if you'd done that." I paused, looked around again and asked, "Which safehouse is this?"
Trowa shook his head slowly, never a good sign. “We're not at a safehouse. And it's a miracle we're all still alive, especially you.”
A convulsive swallow of relief made me realize how thirsty I was. “Everyone's alive then?”
He nodded, putting to rest the concerns I'd had about the others. The truth was that after meeting and getting to know the other Gundam pilots, I'd never thought much about any of us dying. It just seemed like one of those impossible things, or one of those things you list as impossible for your own peace of mind. I'd almost taken it as a given that we'd all survive, no matter what crazy happenstance came about. Naïve of me really, we're all still just flesh and blood. We don't last forever.
“Where are we?” I asked again. This time I left the question open for Trowa to answer any way he wished.
“I'm not sure,” In the same mundane voice he answered, rubbing his hands together and blowing on them. You could see his breath in the air. “We more or less stumbled on this place. It's apparently been abandoned for a while. There's a huge pantry, well stocked, we don't need to worry about basic supplies. Right now we're trying to get electricity. I was working in the basement on it for awhile but decided to give Quatre a break from watching you. He's been…”
The solemn voice of my lanky comrade died off, his rare words wasted on my deaf ears. I wasn't listening to him, my own thoughts taking all the attention. I decided that it'd be ungrateful to wish for too much now. Being alive was incredible enough. I lay there for another minute or so, dwelling on the marvelous luck of the situation. Not only were we ALL alive, but we had food and shelter.
And where were we supposed to be right now? Up in space, fighting the enemy. Our Gundams… shit. What the hell happened to Nataku? We hadn't gone up into space with them, sending them ahead of us to somewhere or another through a source the Doctors considered "safe". Well, regardless of where our mobile suits were, we weren't in them. Our plans scrapped, this was going to prove an unwieldy setback.
“Have we managed to get in touch with our allies yet?” I asked Trowa, hoping he'd have a positive answer.
The slow shake of the head came again… obviously more bad news…
“We left most of our gear at the crash site. The shuttle was beyond repair,” Trowa seemed to look past me while speaking, a vacant stare absorbing nothing. “We carried what we could, including a small transmitter Heero grabbed. It doesn't seem to want to work though…”
“What about Heero's laptop?” I inquired about the Japanese boy's most coveted item.
“…At one point, while we were out there, the storm got pretty intense…” Trowa drifted off for a moment, leaving me with only a vague idea about what exactly had happened. I'd managed to collect the theme that the laptop was gone though.
Trowa turned his chair to face me. There was no sound but my own breathing and the scratch of the legs on the wooden floor. It was the first time I noticed just how quiet it was in the room. There was no buzzing electricity, no whir of machinery, no chattering voices, no birds, no wind, no leaves falling to the ground outside. It had been a long time since I'd witnessed silence of this magnitude.
“Those splints feel like Heero put them on, tight as hell...” I grunted as I raised the blankets with my injured leg. “Eh, well it's a good thing you didn't take me to a hospital. The enemy would have been all over us if you'd done that." I paused, looked around again and asked, "Which safehouse is this?"
Trowa shook his head slowly, never a good sign. “We're not at a safehouse. And it's a miracle we're all still alive, especially you.”
A convulsive swallow of relief made me realize how thirsty I was. “Everyone's alive then?”
He nodded, putting to rest the concerns I'd had about the others. The truth was that after meeting and getting to know the other Gundam pilots, I'd never thought much about any of us dying. It just seemed like one of those impossible things, or one of those things you list as impossible for your own peace of mind. I'd almost taken it as a given that we'd all survive, no matter what crazy happenstance came about. Naïve of me really, we're all still just flesh and blood. We don't last forever.
“Where are we?” I asked again. This time I left the question open for Trowa to answer any way he wished.
“I'm not sure,” In the same mundane voice he answered, rubbing his hands together and blowing on them. You could see his breath in the air. “We more or less stumbled on this place. It's apparently been abandoned for a while. There's a huge pantry, well stocked, we don't need to worry about basic supplies. Right now we're trying to get electricity. I was working in the basement on it for awhile but decided to give Quatre a break from watching you. He's been…”
The solemn voice of my lanky comrade died off, his rare words wasted on my deaf ears. I wasn't listening to him, my own thoughts taking all the attention. I decided that it'd be ungrateful to wish for too much now. Being alive was incredible enough. I lay there for another minute or so, dwelling on the marvelous luck of the situation. Not only were we ALL alive, but we had food and shelter.
And where were we supposed to be right now? Up in space, fighting the enemy. Our Gundams… shit. What the hell happened to Nataku? We hadn't gone up into space with them, sending them ahead of us to somewhere or another through a source the Doctors considered "safe". Well, regardless of where our mobile suits were, we weren't in them. Our plans scrapped, this was going to prove an unwieldy setback.
“Have we managed to get in touch with our allies yet?” I asked Trowa, hoping he'd have a positive answer.
The slow shake of the head came again… obviously more bad news…
“We left most of our gear at the crash site. The shuttle was beyond repair,” Trowa seemed to look past me while speaking, a vacant stare absorbing nothing. “We carried what we could, including a small transmitter Heero grabbed. It doesn't seem to want to work though…”
“What about Heero's laptop?” I inquired about the Japanese boy's most coveted item.
“…At one point, while we were out there, the storm got pretty intense…” Trowa drifted off for a moment, leaving me with only a vague idea about what exactly had happened. I'd managed to collect the theme that the laptop was gone though.
Finally, as if awaking from a dream, he continued, “We lost each other. The snow got heavier. There was zero visibility… The wind was whipping it around, creating confusion and blinding us. We weren't prepared for those conditions at all.”
“Yeah, I know,” I coldly replied, shivering under all of my blankets.
“Eventually we all managed to find each other,” Trowa went on, “...except for Duo... Heero went out to get him and came back with none of the stuff he'd been carrying. But Duo was with him.”
His green eyes met mine for a minute and he stopped speaking. Something between us conveyed that there was no need to talk about what had gone on out there. It was plainly painful for him, and I wasn't getting a whole lot out of it either.
There was one thing though, one of dire importance that I needed to ask Trowa.
"Um…Trowa? Where's the nearest bathroom?"
“Yeah, I know,” I coldly replied, shivering under all of my blankets.
“Eventually we all managed to find each other,” Trowa went on, “...except for Duo... Heero went out to get him and came back with none of the stuff he'd been carrying. But Duo was with him.”
His green eyes met mine for a minute and he stopped speaking. Something between us conveyed that there was no need to talk about what had gone on out there. It was plainly painful for him, and I wasn't getting a whole lot out of it either.
There was one thing though, one of dire importance that I needed to ask Trowa.
"Um…Trowa? Where's the nearest bathroom?"
<-><-><-><-><->
I stayed in bed for a good part of the day. Trowa was relieved from watching me by Quatre, who was later relieved by Duo. Repeatedly I tried to get out of bed and walk around. I felt restless despite the terrible pain in my leg. My headache was fading, as was the slight pain in my chest, probably just bruises. I couldn't lie still in the overly large bed.
It puzzled me that the others felt the need to have someone watch over me. I can say honestly that I was annoyed by their concern for me, especially on the part of Quatre. I knew that it was only out of kindness that the Sandrock pilot worried so much… but it still ticked me off.
Duo would later provide the answer to why I was being watched so carefully.
I stayed in bed for a good part of the day. Trowa was relieved from watching me by Quatre, who was later relieved by Duo. Repeatedly I tried to get out of bed and walk around. I felt restless despite the terrible pain in my leg. My headache was fading, as was the slight pain in my chest, probably just bruises. I couldn't lie still in the overly large bed.
It puzzled me that the others felt the need to have someone watch over me. I can say honestly that I was annoyed by their concern for me, especially on the part of Quatre. I knew that it was only out of kindness that the Sandrock pilot worried so much… but it still ticked me off.
Duo would later provide the answer to why I was being watched so carefully.
<-><-><-><-><->
“You gave us one hell of a scare Fei-man, passing out like that. You were out like a light and your vital signs were real weak. You were soaked, sweating and shivering and we knew we had to get you inside or you'd be a goner... Luckily we found this place.” Duo smiled while he recounted how I had almost died. “We started a fire to get you warm, and things were looking alright.”
Then, tilting his head slightly to the side, peering at me crookedly, Duo's gaze sharpened and he said, “But then you started running a real bad fever and started muttering stuff in your sleep. Really made us freak. We thought maybe the crash had, I dunno, done something to your head."
“I what?” I asked, confused and perplexed. “What 'stuff'? I don't talk in my sleep!” Baring my teeth I snarled out the last part, offended that my comrades had thought I'd snapped. I was perfectly fine and besides, I never had said anything in my sleep before.
"Oh, you bet you do Fei-man," He smiled, bouncing down into the rickety old chair near the bed. "You talk a hell of a lot."
"I do not talk in my sleep," I reiterated softly, but with a growing menace that I almost couldn't recognize, rising in my voice. "I've never talked in my sleep." Duo enjoyed fucking with people, and I hated to be fucked with.
Shrugging and putting on the face named 'don't get upset at me', Duo stayed calm and just said, "Yes Fei-man, you do."
"Dammit, look Maxwell!" I lost my temper. Anger clouded over the pain in my ribs as I sat upright, jerking in his direction. "I don't EVER talk in my sleep! I never have! And stop calling me Fei-man!"
A teasing spark in his amethyst eyes, Duo leaned forward, grinning widely and obviously enjoying my little fit. "No need to get so uptight, Fe…Wufei. But you were talking in your sleep, a hell of a lot too." Forcing myself to breathe I let him continue, wanting to interject or smack him upside his smirking face. "It wasn't the fact that you talk in your sleep, it was the stuff you were saying."
He leaned back in his chair then, as if content with everything around. I was still perplexed and angry, but my hostility was quickly changing to curiosity. What exactly had I said?
”Nothing in any language I'd heard before,” Duo stared at me evenly, seriously. “Not Chinese or anything Heero or Quatre could recognize. Sometimes it sounded more like a- like not human.”
Unknowingly dropping my jaw a little, my expression asked the question for me.
"Yeah. Really weird stuff," He smiled, crossing his legs in the seat and jiggling one repeatedly up and down. It was as if he couldn't stay still. "A lot of the time you just muttered to yourself. Not like you don't mumble to yourself when you're not bananas... But usually it's about justice and cowards and well... not like that...”
He looked at me, wary. He was still unsure of my state of mind. Despite the intense disbelief about his story, some part of me had to trust my comrades. Duo wouldn't make this up or pull my leg in this manner. He was dead serious.
"So you thought I was going to go nuts and kill you all?" I cynically questioned.
"You're always nuts Fei-man," Duo snickered. "But Heero thought it would be best if we kept an eye on you. He thought… you might try to do something to yourself." His face fell at the end, unable to look me straight on.
I brushed aside my doubts and thoughts on the sleep-talking phenomenon, labeling it as weird at best and filing it in the dusty archives of the past. Compared to rehabilitating my leg and getting back to missions, it really wasn't that important. It was strange that I might have said something in my sleep, but it wasn't going to prey on my mind. Some things just never make complete sense. My pride was a little wounded, perhaps, and the thought of Heero distrusting me was uncomfortable.
I casually looked out the lone window. Darkness blanketed the never-ending plains already, snowflakes falling slowly to the ground. The wintry night was here. I sighed, bored to say the least. The room was almost pitch black. Duo, clad all in black, was nearly invisible to me.
"Where is Heero anyway?" I wondered aloud. He was the only one I hadn't seen since the crash.
There was a buzz and a deep whir from somewhere in the house. The bare light bulb hanging above sparked to life and the room was bathed in half-light, shadows virtually nonexistent in the mostly empty space.
“I what?” I asked, confused and perplexed. “What 'stuff'? I don't talk in my sleep!” Baring my teeth I snarled out the last part, offended that my comrades had thought I'd snapped. I was perfectly fine and besides, I never had said anything in my sleep before.
"Oh, you bet you do Fei-man," He smiled, bouncing down into the rickety old chair near the bed. "You talk a hell of a lot."
"I do not talk in my sleep," I reiterated softly, but with a growing menace that I almost couldn't recognize, rising in my voice. "I've never talked in my sleep." Duo enjoyed fucking with people, and I hated to be fucked with.
Shrugging and putting on the face named 'don't get upset at me', Duo stayed calm and just said, "Yes Fei-man, you do."
"Dammit, look Maxwell!" I lost my temper. Anger clouded over the pain in my ribs as I sat upright, jerking in his direction. "I don't EVER talk in my sleep! I never have! And stop calling me Fei-man!"
A teasing spark in his amethyst eyes, Duo leaned forward, grinning widely and obviously enjoying my little fit. "No need to get so uptight, Fe…Wufei. But you were talking in your sleep, a hell of a lot too." Forcing myself to breathe I let him continue, wanting to interject or smack him upside his smirking face. "It wasn't the fact that you talk in your sleep, it was the stuff you were saying."
He leaned back in his chair then, as if content with everything around. I was still perplexed and angry, but my hostility was quickly changing to curiosity. What exactly had I said?
”Nothing in any language I'd heard before,” Duo stared at me evenly, seriously. “Not Chinese or anything Heero or Quatre could recognize. Sometimes it sounded more like a- like not human.”
Unknowingly dropping my jaw a little, my expression asked the question for me.
"Yeah. Really weird stuff," He smiled, crossing his legs in the seat and jiggling one repeatedly up and down. It was as if he couldn't stay still. "A lot of the time you just muttered to yourself. Not like you don't mumble to yourself when you're not bananas... But usually it's about justice and cowards and well... not like that...”
He looked at me, wary. He was still unsure of my state of mind. Despite the intense disbelief about his story, some part of me had to trust my comrades. Duo wouldn't make this up or pull my leg in this manner. He was dead serious.
"So you thought I was going to go nuts and kill you all?" I cynically questioned.
"You're always nuts Fei-man," Duo snickered. "But Heero thought it would be best if we kept an eye on you. He thought… you might try to do something to yourself." His face fell at the end, unable to look me straight on.
I brushed aside my doubts and thoughts on the sleep-talking phenomenon, labeling it as weird at best and filing it in the dusty archives of the past. Compared to rehabilitating my leg and getting back to missions, it really wasn't that important. It was strange that I might have said something in my sleep, but it wasn't going to prey on my mind. Some things just never make complete sense. My pride was a little wounded, perhaps, and the thought of Heero distrusting me was uncomfortable.
I casually looked out the lone window. Darkness blanketed the never-ending plains already, snowflakes falling slowly to the ground. The wintry night was here. I sighed, bored to say the least. The room was almost pitch black. Duo, clad all in black, was nearly invisible to me.
"Where is Heero anyway?" I wondered aloud. He was the only one I hadn't seen since the crash.
There was a buzz and a deep whir from somewhere in the house. The bare light bulb hanging above sparked to life and the room was bathed in half-light, shadows virtually nonexistent in the mostly empty space.
<-><-><-><-><->
We found Heero downstairs, in a giant room beyond comparison. With quite a bit of coaxing, and even more vehement demands, I'd gotten Duo to let me walk around a bit. It wasn't like I could walk very well, my leg buckling underneath my weight on the first step I tried to take, but I got around. Heero was in a corner of the huge room, amidst a pile of tools and electronics. I made my way by using the walls as support.
"And then Heero Yuy said, Let there be light!" Duo blasphemed cheerily, almost bouncing over to the spot where Heero was intently laboring. "Is there anything you can't do? Trowa told me there'd be no way we'd get electricity for at least a day or two."
"I need light to see what I'm doing," Heero blandly answered, not even glancing at the energetic American.
"What?" Faking despair, Duo cringed. "You can't see in the dark? I thought that was standard issue in the Heero Yuy superhuman Perfect Soldier model, along with those ridiculous spandex shorts."
"Sorry to disappoint you," Heero disdainfully snapped back, tugging at a wire extending out of a large metal box. It appeared to be a portable radio from the shuttle. The antenna was nowhere to be seen and there were several scorch marks on one side. "But I'm human just like you."
Tsking and slowly shaking his head, Duo answered solemnly, like one scolding a small child, "You should know by now Heero, there's a big difference between us. You might be scary and all that, but I'm Shinigami."
Heero looked up at Duo, saying something or another in reply. I didn't really hear it; I wasn't paying much attention. I'd seen this play out before. In fact, I automatically pulled several different ways this particular scenario would probably end out of my head without even trying. They all ran along the same general plot line:
1. Heero is working on something or other relevant to the mission.
2. Duo comes along and distracts/annoys him.
3. A conversation or an argument or small skirmish ensues
4. Heero cannot concentrate on his task- they continue as before
5. Either Duo gets bored and walks away (rare case), Heero drives him off with one thing or another, or-
-SNAP-
"Fuck!"
-or Heero messes up on the task he was working at, various calamity ensues.
"Uh oh," Duo knew just as well as I did what the consequences were.
Heero rose slowly, anger and frustration issuing from his body language like water from a creaking dam. The fury in his Prussian blue eyes was evident, even though I was looking at the back of his head. Duo got the wrath dead on. All was silent. I even held my breath, not wanting to be the one to break the tense quiet. I don't think it cowardly or weak to fear Heero Yuy when he's like this, especially after you go through a war with him and see some of the things he's done to people.
The guy, simply put, was a killer. True, he'd been trained in computers, mechanics, and assorted other quirky skills and abilities; but they all served to support the main pillar of the structure that was a one-man army. And the main pillar of such men is the rubble, bones and shattered fragments of all that he's destroyed, glued together in blood and iron resolve. A killer--- correction, a killing machine. I imagined that there were relatively few that had angered Heero Yuy and not paid dearly for it.
Still complete quiet...
It was broken by a small, timid voice that was barely a whisper; "I'm sorry Heero."
Duo Maxwell was one of those few.
"Do you have any idea what this was?" Heero spoke calmly, grinding out each word with emphasis. In his right hand he was shaking the broken green wire that he'd been tugging at. Duo looked pathetic. Heero continued, "No, I didn't think you would."
I almost intervened here. It wasn't really Duo's fault, not entirely. If Heero would just learn to ignore Duo's pestering and constant chattering, many of these fiascoes would be avoided. Duo's talkativeness would push my buttons too, but I could (mostly) ignore him. Heero always seemed to fall into Duo's trap, engage him in conversation. I wondered if Heero knew this too. I could not tell if Heero had any idea what kind of effect Duo Maxwell had on him.
"This," He threw the wire away. It made a soft sound on the wood floor and was heard from no more. "Was, and I repeat was because now its just trash, the connecting cord to the transmitter. Without it, we might as well sit here and wait to fucking die."
Duo's lips trembled; he backed away from Heero's looming fury. A few feeble words that might have been another apology came out, but I couldn't hear them. Duo's eyes stayed fixed, shocked into the vice-like gaze of the daunting Wing pilot. Wetting his lips, Duo tried again to speak:
"I'm really sorry," He had a stranger's voice, one belonging to a small boy, scared and distraught over the mess he had accidentally, good naturedly, made. There was the guilt of knowing he was at fault and the tremendous embarrassment of having failing someone very important. Maybe it wasn't such a stranger's voice to Duo… "I didn't know what you were working on was so important. I…"
"You never seem to know," Heero's voice lacked compassion. "You're always so sorry too. Maybe, if you pulled your head out of your ass it'd serve some use, ne? But you don't ever seem to learn. No. You just keep on in your old, happy-go-lucky ways. It's going to cost you one of these days."
"Heero…" Duo's face was hard to recognize with the smile gone, the sparkle missing from his eyes. He looked close to tears. Only Heero could affect him that much. He was the only one Duo cared enough about to let his putdowns and words mean a thing in his mind.
We found Heero downstairs, in a giant room beyond comparison. With quite a bit of coaxing, and even more vehement demands, I'd gotten Duo to let me walk around a bit. It wasn't like I could walk very well, my leg buckling underneath my weight on the first step I tried to take, but I got around. Heero was in a corner of the huge room, amidst a pile of tools and electronics. I made my way by using the walls as support.
"And then Heero Yuy said, Let there be light!" Duo blasphemed cheerily, almost bouncing over to the spot where Heero was intently laboring. "Is there anything you can't do? Trowa told me there'd be no way we'd get electricity for at least a day or two."
"I need light to see what I'm doing," Heero blandly answered, not even glancing at the energetic American.
"What?" Faking despair, Duo cringed. "You can't see in the dark? I thought that was standard issue in the Heero Yuy superhuman Perfect Soldier model, along with those ridiculous spandex shorts."
"Sorry to disappoint you," Heero disdainfully snapped back, tugging at a wire extending out of a large metal box. It appeared to be a portable radio from the shuttle. The antenna was nowhere to be seen and there were several scorch marks on one side. "But I'm human just like you."
Tsking and slowly shaking his head, Duo answered solemnly, like one scolding a small child, "You should know by now Heero, there's a big difference between us. You might be scary and all that, but I'm Shinigami."
Heero looked up at Duo, saying something or another in reply. I didn't really hear it; I wasn't paying much attention. I'd seen this play out before. In fact, I automatically pulled several different ways this particular scenario would probably end out of my head without even trying. They all ran along the same general plot line:
1. Heero is working on something or other relevant to the mission.
2. Duo comes along and distracts/annoys him.
3. A conversation or an argument or small skirmish ensues
4. Heero cannot concentrate on his task- they continue as before
5. Either Duo gets bored and walks away (rare case), Heero drives him off with one thing or another, or-
-SNAP-
"Fuck!"
-or Heero messes up on the task he was working at, various calamity ensues.
"Uh oh," Duo knew just as well as I did what the consequences were.
Heero rose slowly, anger and frustration issuing from his body language like water from a creaking dam. The fury in his Prussian blue eyes was evident, even though I was looking at the back of his head. Duo got the wrath dead on. All was silent. I even held my breath, not wanting to be the one to break the tense quiet. I don't think it cowardly or weak to fear Heero Yuy when he's like this, especially after you go through a war with him and see some of the things he's done to people.
The guy, simply put, was a killer. True, he'd been trained in computers, mechanics, and assorted other quirky skills and abilities; but they all served to support the main pillar of the structure that was a one-man army. And the main pillar of such men is the rubble, bones and shattered fragments of all that he's destroyed, glued together in blood and iron resolve. A killer--- correction, a killing machine. I imagined that there were relatively few that had angered Heero Yuy and not paid dearly for it.
Still complete quiet...
It was broken by a small, timid voice that was barely a whisper; "I'm sorry Heero."
Duo Maxwell was one of those few.
"Do you have any idea what this was?" Heero spoke calmly, grinding out each word with emphasis. In his right hand he was shaking the broken green wire that he'd been tugging at. Duo looked pathetic. Heero continued, "No, I didn't think you would."
I almost intervened here. It wasn't really Duo's fault, not entirely. If Heero would just learn to ignore Duo's pestering and constant chattering, many of these fiascoes would be avoided. Duo's talkativeness would push my buttons too, but I could (mostly) ignore him. Heero always seemed to fall into Duo's trap, engage him in conversation. I wondered if Heero knew this too. I could not tell if Heero had any idea what kind of effect Duo Maxwell had on him.
"This," He threw the wire away. It made a soft sound on the wood floor and was heard from no more. "Was, and I repeat was because now its just trash, the connecting cord to the transmitter. Without it, we might as well sit here and wait to fucking die."
Duo's lips trembled; he backed away from Heero's looming fury. A few feeble words that might have been another apology came out, but I couldn't hear them. Duo's eyes stayed fixed, shocked into the vice-like gaze of the daunting Wing pilot. Wetting his lips, Duo tried again to speak:
"I'm really sorry," He had a stranger's voice, one belonging to a small boy, scared and distraught over the mess he had accidentally, good naturedly, made. There was the guilt of knowing he was at fault and the tremendous embarrassment of having failing someone very important. Maybe it wasn't such a stranger's voice to Duo… "I didn't know what you were working on was so important. I…"
"You never seem to know," Heero's voice lacked compassion. "You're always so sorry too. Maybe, if you pulled your head out of your ass it'd serve some use, ne? But you don't ever seem to learn. No. You just keep on in your old, happy-go-lucky ways. It's going to cost you one of these days."
"Heero…" Duo's face was hard to recognize with the smile gone, the sparkle missing from his eyes. He looked close to tears. Only Heero could affect him that much. He was the only one Duo cared enough about to let his putdowns and words mean a thing in his mind.
I could not tell if Heero had any idea what kind of effect he had on Duo Maxwell...
"Would you just go away?" The Japanese youth spat in disgust.
Duo began to speak again but swallowed his words halfway. He turned slowly and walked to the nearest exit, not looking back once. The door creaked as it shut.
"You should be resting," Heero was addressing me. His voice was cold, bitter; but it also sounded sick, and weary. "It's stupid for you to be moving around, hobbling against the wall. You're not going to get any better that way."
He'd taken a shot at my pride. It was my body, my decision, not his. If I felt I was strong enough to move around on my own I damn well could. "Hey, don't bite my head off too. I'm not stupid. It's not up to you to tell me what to do." I rebuked in defense.
The Japanese youth didn't answer, running a hand through his messy brown hair and letting out an audible sigh instead. It almost looked as if a part of his bitterness was blown out too. The tense features in his body relaxed and now Heero simply looked tired.
"If we have to move soon I'd prefer you'd be as healthy as possible," Heero spoke in a flat, monotone manner, as if he'd flipped back into autopilot for the time being. "I don't want anything holding us down if we need to move."
"What makes you think we'll be able to move so soon?" I didn't hear it, but I spoke with more than doubt and pessimism in my voice. I didn't hear it, but I could feel it in my mood, in how I formed the words. "We don't even know where the hell we are. Nobody knows where the hell we are. Nobody even knows if we're alive or not."
"Just in case though," Heero said, turning away from me and walking across the room. He stopped and knelt down at the green wire, picking it up and examining it critically. "If an opportunity arises, I want us to be able to take it."
Heero walked back to where I was holding myself up against the wall. He threw the wire down with the giant, box shaped transmitter and the scattered tools. The wind outside howled fiercely and the wooden walls creaked in the house. Heero turned towards the nearest doorway; the one Duo had exited through, as if almost expecting to see someone enter. Nobody came.
-end “Refuge”, part 2 in
"Would you just go away?" The Japanese youth spat in disgust.
Duo began to speak again but swallowed his words halfway. He turned slowly and walked to the nearest exit, not looking back once. The door creaked as it shut.
"You should be resting," Heero was addressing me. His voice was cold, bitter; but it also sounded sick, and weary. "It's stupid for you to be moving around, hobbling against the wall. You're not going to get any better that way."
He'd taken a shot at my pride. It was my body, my decision, not his. If I felt I was strong enough to move around on my own I damn well could. "Hey, don't bite my head off too. I'm not stupid. It's not up to you to tell me what to do." I rebuked in defense.
The Japanese youth didn't answer, running a hand through his messy brown hair and letting out an audible sigh instead. It almost looked as if a part of his bitterness was blown out too. The tense features in his body relaxed and now Heero simply looked tired.
"If we have to move soon I'd prefer you'd be as healthy as possible," Heero spoke in a flat, monotone manner, as if he'd flipped back into autopilot for the time being. "I don't want anything holding us down if we need to move."
"What makes you think we'll be able to move so soon?" I didn't hear it, but I spoke with more than doubt and pessimism in my voice. I didn't hear it, but I could feel it in my mood, in how I formed the words. "We don't even know where the hell we are. Nobody knows where the hell we are. Nobody even knows if we're alive or not."
"Just in case though," Heero said, turning away from me and walking across the room. He stopped and knelt down at the green wire, picking it up and examining it critically. "If an opportunity arises, I want us to be able to take it."
Heero walked back to where I was holding myself up against the wall. He threw the wire down with the giant, box shaped transmitter and the scattered tools. The wind outside howled fiercely and the wooden walls creaked in the house. Heero turned towards the nearest doorway; the one Duo had exited through, as if almost expecting to see someone enter. Nobody came.
-end “Refuge”, part 2 in
Souls Disappear in the Snow
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