Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Still Frame ❯ Still Frame ( Chapter 1 )

AN: this is a rather in depth look at what i think goes on in Trowa's mind. as stated in the summery, this is post war.

Warning: yaoi, 3x4x5, and i'm a big fan of 2x1. deep thoughts for a shortfic.

Still Frame

by crazy one

            ; Time. Now that's a unique theory. Time can be measured in hours, minutes, years; or it can be measured in memories, moments. When people normally remember the past, they think of the moments, of the people who surrounded them at that time. These `memories' produce sights, smells, and sounds that have been stored as electronic pluses in the brain. Feelings are brought forth from their containment areas to be relived with the events. Sorrow, pain, fear, anger, happiness… they are all re-experienced over and over again due to those blessed things classified as `memories.' I don't know why, perhaps it is the way I have lived or my series of amnesias, but `memories' are an enigma to me. In my mind my past is an endless stream of mission reports, dates and facts laid out in short, basic paragraphs. There are no flowery details or feelings clouding up my perceptions of the past.

            ; Wait, that is not completely true. An overwhelming amount of emotion chokes me and his face rises behind my eyes every time I revive the day Wufei told me I was not worthless, as my lack of name implies. He yelled at me actually, and I told him to prove it. I should have known better, considered the amount of passion contained within my comrade, but I tempted Fate and she gave me one of my most valued gifts, Wufei's love. The second time was when Quatre realized that he was included in our devotion and amazingly, returned it, to both of us. I know I don't deserve them, either of them, but I will hold on to these feelings as well as I can before they discard me. I love the emotions that fill me every time I think of my partners. My hope is that I give them some of this joy in turn.

            ; I am pulled from my thoughts by Duo's enthusiastic greeting. He and Quatre have arranged another `get-together,' it will be good to see everyone again. I hope the five of us don't give rise to too many horrible memories. How odd, I never used to hope so much…

            ; The party has died down a bit. There have been casual hellos, nervous stuttering, some who obviously wanted to hate, some had to be led away crying, and as many other greetings as there were personalities. And, as we always do, the five Gundam pilots move off to be by ourselves. We never belong. People seem to love and hate us all at once; Duo jokes that they're just mad because we saved them one too many times. A low conversation starts up between us. Always the same, always some question to remind us that we're still human. Strangely enough our topic tonight concerns what I've been brooding about, `memories.' The others begin to share their first `memory.' They describe sights, sounds, emotions; Wufei even claims that he can still smell his field of flowers. Duo finally looks directly at me. I am quiet for a moment longer as I consider my thoughts, and here is my conclusion, “Wufei is my first true memory, and yes Duo, Quatre is my second. As far as `memories' go, I'm afraid I don't have many, but I wouldn't trade them for a lifetime's worth. Every memory of mine has been with one of you four, so despite my deficit I feel very rich indeed.”

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AN: i'm rather proud of this one. i hope you enjoyed it as much as i liked writing it. good-night.