Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Subjects of My Sanity ❯ Panic ( Chapter 18 )

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Gundam Wing Characters, and all that other good stuff.

Pairings: 2+1, 3+4

Warning: Will be Yaoi in later chapters. Bad language. Depression. Blood, guns, violence.

Authors Note: This chapter took a little while to post. I hadn't really meant it to be this long when outlining it! ^.^' Oh well, enjoy the longevity of it anyways!

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Panic

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~Subject: Heero~

Cold… cold… people all around me are cold. That is what I had thought… before. In another time. It seemed so long ago. Has it really only been a couple weeks? Maybe a month since school started and I was somewhat… changing. Changing… changing… not really in a good way… but not in a bad way either. It could be for both. I don't really know.

I used to think that being like everyone else was something horrible, something I definitely did not want to experience. People were only selfish. People only cared about themselves, without the worry that maybe in their struggle for power, they are crumbling someone else, shattering them.

Duo is like them. But I cannot really admit that I know him enough to say that he is like the ones who… hurt people, laugh at them behind their backs and call them names until they tear up inside. I cannot say that he does not care for others, that all he does is for the benefit of himself.

No, I do not know him.

For some reason though… for some weird, strange, odd reason… I find myself not caring about that. For the first time in… in so long, I had stopped looking at someone like they were a disease to society. I didn't care. The only thing that mattered now… the only thing that went through my mind… was that I liked Duo. A friend… someone I could talk too. Sure, most of the time it is him doing all the talking… but… it is still nice. I wondered if I would ever get to know the others like that… like Duo. But they hadn't seemed to make an effort…they definitely weren't chasing me around the school halls like Duo was, screaming my name, cursing at me to stop running away.

I had stopped running… soon enough.

And I didn't care. I was… somewhat… maybe a tiny bit satisfied with myself right then. I had made a friend. It was a little too hard to admit. Just thinking about it put me in a state of denial, thinking that maybe Duo didn't see me like that at all… maybe… maybe…

But he always fixes those frightening thoughts. Seeing Duo smile at me, even when it is because he is making fun of me, I always feel that I should not care. Times are good right now… that is all that matters. Looking to the future is a waste of the now, it is a wrinkle in your forehead, a worry that does not need to be considered.

Maybe… my friendship with Duo is what had me so mad, that one day… so angry that someone could possibly hurt my… friend, that had me flipping out… freaking out… mind twisting with painful thoughts. Maybe I should start at the beginning… which would be the end of that school day, the one which started out to be perfectly normal, average… just like the others.

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"Wu! I see you're still up here in the… er… damn Wu! It's freezing up here!" Duo yelled as he walked through the door to Wufei's temporary home. He glanced back at me as I followed him in, as if to make sure I wasn't shivering like he was.

Wufei was currently stuffing some things into a small garbage bag he must have stolen from the kitchens. It took me a couple seconds to realize that he was packing up his stuff. Duo, being ever so observant, noticed this as well.

"You find some other place to stay?" He asked, not really giving Wufei a chance to answer. "You're not going to leave town are ya? I mean, there has to be-"

"Hello?" Quatre's voice was heard from behind the door, followed by a small knock, cutting off Duo's rant.

At least someone had the courtesy to not barge in.

Quatre's eyes widened slightly when Duo opened the door for him. I think he had been expecting Wufei to answer, not the grinning maniac. As Quatre finally stepped into the small space, a small smile in the direction of Wufei as he did so, I was finally able to see Trowa, following closely from behind.

We were all there. Cramped, once again, in the small storage closet.

Quatre, being another observant individual, went to mimic Duo's earlier speech and started going off on Wufei about him packing his things without telling anyone. Of course, Duo supported him with a barrage of, "Yeah Wufei!" and "How could you?"

It was actually pretty amusing, seeing Wufei flushed and cut off with every other word he attempted to say in defense. It probably would have continued along that path if not for the loud voice that could be heard from outside. Everyone stopped speaking at once, listening to the laughter that was getting closer to our position.

"Kuso…" Wufei growled, quickly shoving the remainder of his things into the bag before turning to the door to wait like the rest of us. I suddenly got a bad feeling that something bad was going to happen. If we were caught back here…

My thoughts were cut short as the fake door knob creaked from outside, as if someone was turning it, trying to get in. Any thoughts of escape were cut off as the door suddenly burst open, causing me to shiver as the cold air rushed in. Blinking, I stared, disbelieving at what standing through the doorway. Two huge men were peering in, looking at the five of us, surprise evidently written on their faces. That moment of shock quickly disappeared though, to be replaced by a twisted, almost triumphant smirk.

"Well… looky what we's got here."

The next thing that was plainly obvious was the shocked silence that surrounded the room. Wufei had backed into a corner, eyes wide as the rest of us tried to figure out just what was going on. It wasn't too hard, but there was also the part of the brain that wanted to deny what was happening. They couldn't have been the ones after Wufei… could they?

My silent question was answered by the man standing before us. "Well, if it isn't da little baby. Our missin whore." He was definitely looking at Wufei, his chapped lips marked with a sneer. "Whad' ya thinks we should do wit him now, Benzie?"

The other man, whom I presume was 'Benzie', chuckled to himself before moving in the direction of Wufei. "Seein as heza li'l thief, stealin from his own friends… I a' says we treat him like da traitor e is."

We probably should have done something then… anything. I should have done something. But I couldn't get my body to move, I was frozen where I stood… I was acting like a damned chicken like everyone else, mouth hanging open to prove it. I don't think I actually snapped out of my daze until the first guy lunged at Wufei, knocking him hard against the wall, his head smacking with a sickening crack.

"Wufei!" Duo screamed from beside me, but the Chinese boy could not respond for his eyes had rolled up into the back of his head and his legs were caving in as he fell to the floor. Benzie chuckled again from the doorway, causing my stomach to churn in disgust when thinking about what other horrible things he would do for a laugh.

"Duo, calm down." It wasn't until I heard Quatre's voice that I realized just what Duo was planning to do. He looked like he was about ready to pounce on the man pulling the limp Wufei up from the ground. His fists were clenched, eyes narrowed, lips pulled back in a snarl. I understood where Quatre would be concerned, this guy was about three times the size of Duo. There was a slight chance that they weren't going to hurt Wufei any further, seeing as he was unconscious, but if Duo were to get involved, he might just add to the injuries.

Whatever we were going to do, trying to take on these two men did not seem like a very wise plan. Duo, however, did not share my thoughts.

"Fucking bastard! Let him go or I-" A loud shot rang out, cutting off Duo's words. I had thought that that was the only reason he had stopped talking, but looking to the greasy man, I could clearly see the shiny gun held between his fingers. The gun… that was aimed at Duo.

"Duo!" Quatre screamed as the braided boy slammed into the wall, another shot ringing through the small storage room.

The next shot was going to be aimed at Quatre. I realized this when the man by the door pulled out his own gun, smirking as he aimed it towards the panicking blond, who was about to bend down to check on Duo… lying on the ground, staring up at me with wide, scared violet eyes.

I saw red. Looking back, I don't know what I was thinking. My mind lost the little sense of reason that I had been building up within an instant. They weren't planning on just leaving quietly with Wufei, no… they were turning this into an execution.

My feet pushed me off the ground and I lunged towards the man, Benzie, standing by the door. Tackling him didn't seem to be an option, so I tried to trip him instead. I think the only reason that I was able to get him to the floor was because he had been surprised. So surprised that he pulled the trigger of his gun, firing aimlessly at the ceiling above.

I loomed over him, not really caring if I were to get shot or not. I was fully intending on punching him a few times, maybe to buy some time with my pathetic attempt, but Quatre's shouting brought me to realize just what was going on. I only had time for one glance upwards, but that was just enough time to see that one of the metal shelves was falling, right in my path. I managed to get most of my body out of the way before it crashed heavily to the ground, falling straight on top of the man I had tackled. My foot wasn't so lucky. And by the sharp pain coming from my ankle, I could pretty much assume that it was sprained, or worse.

Now wasn't the time to worry about myself though. I took a quick glance around the room, seeing Trowa helping Quatre up from the ground. It seemed like Trowa had somehow knocked out the other guy, and the blood trailing down his face proved that fact. A large metal pole that I guessed was a part of the shelf was laying on the ground next to him, confirming what it was that Trowa had used.

I stared, disbelieving for a minute before feeling a little bit foolish. Trowa hadn't panicked like I had and actually had the sense to grab a weapon of some sorts. Knocking down the shelf had also saved me from stupidly getting shot. I felt very irritated with myself just then.

Quatre moved to check on Wufei, still unconscious from his earlier hit, while Trowa went to check on our intruders, metal pole in hand once again. But truthfully, I wasn't too concerned about all of them at the moment.

I picked myself up off the ground, wincing as I set my weight on my leg, and quickly made my way over to where Duo was sitting, eyes wide, surveying his surrounding, seemingly in shock.

"Duo?" I asked, bending down in front of him. He seemed to snap out of whatever he was thinking at the sound of my voice.

"Ah! Heero, are you alright?" He asked quickly, eyes darting down to make sure I wasn't seriously injured. I frowned at that, not understanding why he wasn't concerned with his own injuries.

"Duo, you were shot."

"Huh?" He looked down, as if to see if he really was shot or not. That was when I noticed the lack of blood. "Oh… no! He missed!" He said nervously, crossing his arms across his stomach as if to hide something.

I was confused… ok, a little more than confused. I had clearly seen… well, now that I think about it… I only really did see Duo fall against the wall. I might have just assumed that he was… no… he had to have been shot.

My mental confusion came to a halt when I realized just how stupid I was behaving. Duo was not hurt. That was the important thing. Relief rushed through me and I took a deep breath, deciding that I needed to sit down as well. I moved to lean against the wall, sitting beside Duo. That was when I noticed that he was shaking slightly, eyes seemingly too wide for normal.

"Duo?" He turned his head in my direction, giving me a weak smile.

"I'm just a little… I just…" His eyes closed, breath coming out fast. "That was… kinda scary."

And I agreed. Though, I didn't tell him that.

"Shitshitshit, damn… oh fuck…" Duo chuckled form beside me as Quatre's voice rang through quiet room. I looked up to see the blond grabbing onto Trowa's arm, clenching it between his fingers like he was afraid it was going to leave him as he stared at the fallen bodies on the floor.

"Gee Q, never thought you were one to swear." Duo chuckled again as Quatre's eyes widened incredulously.

"Duo! This is serious! What are we going to do! We just… we just… Look!" Quatre was now pointing his free hand madly in the direction of the fallen men. My guess was that he was going to start jumping up and down like an excited little kid soon. Not that he was excited in the least. "We killed them!" He squeaked, light blue eyes looked slightly moister than usual.

Duo burst out into a giggling fit at Quatre's behavior. It wasn't really that funny, at all, but I had a feeling that Duo was only trying to pull himself back together by lightening up the situation. "Q, their not dead. Just unconscious… though, they won't be for long, so I suggest we get a move on out of here." He stated, then added a quiet, 'This place gives me the creeps,' so softly that I was pretty sure only I heard it.

"Where are we going to go? What if they wake up and come after us? How am I going to explain this to my father?! He's going to-"

"Quatre! Take a deep breath, calm down." Duo got up from the ground, causing me to feel a little irritation as the added heat from his body next to me disappeared. "We'll call the police once we find a phone. Hopefully they will… well, hopefully they'll get here before these goons wake up for one thing."

I tried to pull myself up after him as the three started towards the door, but the sharp pain in my leg caused me to fall back onto the floor. Looking down, I realized that my ankle was a lot more than just sprained, seeing as my pants were starting to soak with blood.

"Shit, Heero!" Duo ran back over to me, kneeling down to take my foot in hand. "Why the hell didn't you say you were hurt?!" He asked angrily, carefully pulling up the fabric of my pants to reveal the long gash going across the upper part of my ankle. "Fuck. Quatre, find me something to wrap this with."

I growled, seeing as our time was being wasted on a little scratch. Well, the scratch hurt, but I was pretty certain that it wasn't so bad that it needed to be wrapped. The blood would have stopped soon enough. I tried to stand up in order to get away from Duo and his damn medical attention, but my shoulder was gripped firmly in place by a hand coming from Trowa and I had no choice but to sit and wait. That didn't stop me from glaring at all three of them though.

After Duo wrapped some… something resembling the hard bathroom hand towels around my foot, we finally were ready to leave. Trowa had already taken up the job of carrying Wufei. I had a suspicious feeling that if he decided to come to in the middle of Trowa carrying him like a sack of potatoes, there was going to be hell to pay.

My situation wasn't any better. Duo insisted that I ride on his back. But that wasn't the worst part, no, walking through the streets of the town with a bunch of people looking at us like we were freaks pretty much topped the embarrassment scale. You'd think that they would try and help us, at least offer some assistance when seeing an unconscious boy and such. But they didn't, which only helped add on to my angry feelings towards the damn society that did not care about anyone other than themselves.

I bet we made for great gossip, though.

"Here we are." Duo said, a little out of breath from carrying me. We were currently standing in front of a church. A massive run down building that was probably once a beautiful creation of it's time. Now however, it seemed in dire need of a paint job and some Windex.

"This place… will take in Wufei?" Quatre asked, looking skeptically at the building. Duo had been very enthusiastic about finding somewhere where Wufei would be safe for a little while, until we figured out what to do. For some reason, calling the police for help with Wufei was not an option. Quatre had been very demanding on that topic, saying that Wufei wouldn't want us to. I had yet to realize just what it was Quatre was seemingly hiding from us.

"Yeah, most of the people here are real friendly, I'm sure they'd let him stay until we can find him something… better." Duo shivered slightly from beneath me, causing me to wonder if his mind was back in the past, thinking about what had just happened only an hour ago. Wufei… would be running for a long while, it seemed. If he was so concerned about the polices help… then there wasn't any other option I could think of except to run away. I wondered if he would ever be completely safe from… whoever this boss of his was.

We walked into the slightly open door at the front… well, Duo, Trowa and Quatre walked, while me and Wufei were carried. I figured that Wufei was the better of us two, since he was lucky enough to be unconscious during all of this. I wasn't complaining anymore though, Duo's body created a nice shield from the cold wind outside.

The interior of the church was in a lot better condition then the outside. Everything seemed new and comfortable, making me wonder if the outer appearance was only to draw away thievery from those people who thought that the church was rich. But I was only thinking weird thoughts. The real reason lay with the people who attended the church, probably demanding that their seats be sanitary and such.

"Duo!" A young girl was approaching us now, drawing me out of my annoyed thoughts. She had two long spirals of hair coming down over the brown dress she wore. The thing that stood out the most about her though, was the black boots she wore, slightly showing under her dress. I recognized her, she went to our school.

"Hey! Sally, where's the sister?" Duo asked, his loud cheerful voice, so close to me, caused me to shiver slightly for some reason unbeknownst to me.

The girls eyes darted around nervously as she studied the five of us. "Not here. She went out to visit…" She paused slightly, cutting her own words off for some reason. "Well, she isn't here right now. What do you want?"

I could feel Duo's shoulders slump slightly and a quiet groan escaped his lips. "Shit-"

"Duo…"

"Sorry, sorry. Didn't realize I was swearing!" He moved over to one of the bench seats and the next thing I realized was that I was being deposited onto the hard surface. Duo then moved away from the rest of us, grabbing the Sally girls arm and pulling her away to talk. I don't know what they were saying, but Sally didn't look too pleased.

It was a few minutes later that they finally decided to stop their argument and come back to the rest of us. Sally went straight to where Trowa was standing to look at the unconscious Wufei. "Bring him back here." She said, motioning for Trowa to follow her. Quatre started to move along with them at first, but stopped as the girl gave him a warning glare.

"Where are they going?" Quatre finally asked when Trowa and Wufei disappeared behind a door on the far wall.

Duo sighed, running a hand through his hair, looking more than a little frustrated. "Sally's taking him to a room in the back. She's a little… uh… untrusting of anyone other than the people of the church. I'm surprised she even allowed us to stay this long."

Quatre didn't ask any further questions and so we were left in relative silence until Trowa came back. The boy looked a little troubled as he entered into the main room once again, minus the Sally girl.

"You alright Trowa?" Quatre asked seeing the strange emotions playing on the silent boys face. Duo quickly picked me up and followed along Trowa and Quatre who were walking out the door.

Trowa only shrugged in response, causing Duo to chuckle slightly. "Don't worry about him Q. He probably just got bossed around a bunch by Sally. She's been training to be a doctor, so she probably decided to test her skills on poor Wufei boy." He chuckled louder this time as we moved down the street, causing more than one head to turn in our direction with a frown.

"Is… that a bad thing?" Quatre asked, same worried look upon his face that had been there for most of today.

"Well… lets just hope she doesn't make Wufei believe he's got a broken arm, or better yet a broken foot."

"What are you talking about?" I couldn't hold back that question. Duo was really confusing sometimes.

"They used to have a gate on the side that I used to climb over all the time when going to visit them. Liked to hear their church singing and everything. One summer I fell off it and passed out. When I woke, she had me convinced I was dying with broken ribs and such. It was pretty frightening at the time." Duo admitted, laughing at the incredulous look Quatre was now giving him.

"And you left him… with her?" The blond asked nervously. "That crazy girl?"

I couldn't help but smirk slightly at Duo's next sentence. "Ah don't worry. She'll tell him the truth sooner or later." Wufei was definitely going to have a heart attack when he woke up. I was actually disappointed we weren't going to be there to witness it.

We made our way through the town, only stopping when we came to the place where we would split up. Duo became rather demanding that Trowa take Quatre home. Not that Trowa seemed to mind any. I think he was worried that Quatre would run into a pole somewhere along the lines of returning home, because of his current mind set. He looked nervous still, uneasy, and had a look upon his face that told you his mind was elsewhere.

"I can walk back by myself." I growled, as Duo started in the direction of the orphanage right after the departure of Quatre and Trowa.

"Sure, sure."

"I can walk. Now put me down."

"Nope, don't want ya to hurt your leg any more than it is. That cut needs to be cleaned out and I have a feeling that you aren't planning on doing just that when you get home." I didn't argue any further, seeing as he was just going to be stubborn as usual, or maybe he was wearing me down. I seemed to be letting his behavior slide, more and more these days. I internally groaned, before forcing my thoughts elsewhere. But the only other thought running through my mind was that Duo was probably going to get caught upon entering the orphanage.

But… upon entering, there was no one in sight. Duo managed to get me to my room without being seen… much to my annoyance. If someone were to actually see him, then he would have no choice but to leave. We weren't allowed to bring anyone here. It was against the dumb safety rules.

First thing Duo did after settling me down on my bed was leave to find a bathroom. He came back about five minutes later with a confused expression on his face and I was pretty sure he had gotten lost a couple times. In his hand was a small bowl of water which he was planning to use on my ankle. I was a little surprised when I noticed the amount of blood that had stained the earlier bandage. I guess the cut was deeper than I had at first assumed.

I didn't make a sound as Duo cleaned and rewrapped my ankle with an old shirt, even though it stung when the water touched the sore skin. I just watched Duo, watched as his eyebrows crinkled together in concentration. He hadn't really talked the whole time, just mumbled out some simple orders of 'put your foot up here,' 'don't move or this will hurt.' Looking to him, I realized that while I had been studying the finished bandage he had moved to lay down on my bed, hand behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.

"Heero…"

I moved over to sit beside him, somewhat concerned with why he was acting so strange. Somehow, I didn't think he was worrying about Wufei right now… he probably would have been sharing that concern if he was. It was just a guess, but something else was probably bothering him.

"Can I stay here?" He asked softly, eyes still staring at the cracks along the wall above. His voice sounded nervous, and looking down to his hand I realized that he was shaking slightly. Not from cold… no… I think… he was scared.

"I just… don't really want to-"

"You can stay." I said quickly, cutting off his words. He sighed in relief before finally turning to look at me, a smile lighting up his face.

"Thanks."

Somehow… I wanted to return that smile. But I held back… ignored the fast beatings of my heart as I watched him crawl under my covers. It wasn't late… but I was already exhausted. And by how Duo's breath seemed to even out after only a couple minutes, I figured he was probably just as tired.

Hesitantly, I crawled under the covers beside him, making sure that there was some distance between our bodies. That thought was thrown away instantly as Duo turned over suddenly, leaning his weight against me. I held my breath as I watched his sleeping face, only a couple inches away… so close… so warm. My eyes trailed down his body, as if on their own accord. They stopped suddenly though, caught on the small hole in the front of Duo's shirt, right by his stomach. A small hole… maybe a bullet hole?

I shook my head, clearing those impossible thoughts away. A nagging voice inside of my head was scolding me… I could faintly hear it calling me an idiot. But I ignored it… finding comfort in the warmth of Duo's body, my eyes closed and I fell asleep, unconsciously moving closer to my friend.

TBC.

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Wooo… ugh… don't have much to say. Next chapter will be the long awaited Wufei POV. *yawn* hope you liked, please review before hitting the X.

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