Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Sunburnt ❯ house afire ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: heeropeacecraft 
Relena is worried about the destructive capacity of fear, while being in the grips of it herself. Her one faithful friend subtly betrays her.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 12.03.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 282 | Status: Completed
Relena is worried about the destructive capacity of fear, while being in the grips of it herself. Her one faithful friend subtly betrays her.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 12.03.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 282 | Status: Completed
It was two in the morning and her body felt bruised from fatigue. She lifted her head from its awkward angle on the desk and groggily wiped away the saliva that had dribbled and pooled between her mouth and the hand on which it was resting. As she turned to get a better look at the clock, the muscles in her neck seized up, and she let out a soft cry of pain. A knock sounded on the door, and she remembered that that was what had woken her in the first place. She tidied her hair quickly, and smoothed the front of her blouse. Clearing her throat quietly she picked up the file that she'd been reading before falling asleep.
"Yes, come in."
A black suit, necktie, wrinkled hand on the doorknob. It was only Pagan, her butler and permanent companion.
"Hello Pagan, what can I do for you?"
With raised eyebrows and a stiff back, the gray haired man who had taught her right from wrong for as long as she could remember sniffed slightly and a familiar look of amusement flitted across his mustached face.
"Miss Relena, if you want to perform your best, you must allow for proper rest. I think you might find it more comfortable to sleep in your bed."
She started in surprise, feeling like a child caught telling a lie. She looked up at his familiar, wrinkled face and smiled sheepishly.
"How did you know I fell asleep?"
With a twinkle of mischief in his eye Pagan drew himself up to his most pompous height, and replied, "Miss Relena, I have been watching over you for almost twenty years. It is my job to know such things."
She looked at him, trying to figure out just what he found so amusing, but realized that she really was just too tired and that once again Pagan was right. She needed to go to bed. She stood up from the desk and stifled a yawn.
"Thank you Pagan."
"Will that be all Miss?"
"Yes Pagan, thank you."
He glanced fondly at her before closing the door and bidding her good night.
She yawned aloud this time and tidied the files on her desk. Before switching off the lights and repairing to her rooms, she stopped to gaze out of her bulletproof window, searching for Mars in the night sky. It must be rising late. The moon was up and illuminating a bank of clouds which tore gently at the edges while passing in front of the silver crescent. Such beauty, a beauty which occurred whether you stopped to notice it or not made her chest constrict in pain. She closed her eyes and let the feel of cool glass against her forehead calm the wash of unwelcome emotion.
She pulled her weight back and stared critically at her reflection in the glass. After a few seconds she noticed a pink line running from her forehead to her nose and the remains of a handprint on her right cheek.
"What? Oh! So that's what Pagan found so entertaining!"
She harumphed slightly in a mixture of indignation and amusement, and made a note never to nap facedown on her desk again. With a final look at the moon, she turned and headed for bed.
This mansion, the Peacecraft mansion, seat of the former Sank Kingdom was immense. It held almost one hundred and fifty guest bedrooms, an entire wing for the servants, two ballrooms, a library, a conservatory, twelve conference rooms, countless storerooms, an enormous kitchen, four large dining rooms, enough offices to house her entire administrative staff, expansive gardens and much, much more.
It also held a tunnel leading to an underground mobile suit hangar that could shelter the entire population of the Sank Kingdom in an emergency. The hangar was now used to store grain and emergency supplies in case her efforts to ward off another war proved futile. It was probable that they would indeed be used one day. No matter how hard she worked, there was always that possibility.
Her thoughts were running towards the morbid end of her emotional spectrum as she made her way through the mostly deserted halls to her quarters. She knew that in theory she was safe. Heero and his security team kept the mansion in an invulnerable state of defense at all times, but this place haunted her. Ever since moving here almost five years ago it had haunted her sleep with nightmares of screaming and fire and faces torn with pain. The memory of running. Walking alone through its endless halls at night when she was already so tired made her legs weak with inutile adrenaline, and she felt the space between her shoulder blades grow tight and cold. This fear was insufferable! She clenched her fists in defiance, willing her body forward at a regular pace. She was feeling lightheaded and tried taking deeper breaths to calm her nerves.
"Relena."
The familiar monotone of his voice made it through her wave of panic and caused her to look around for the source.
"Heero?"
He was there, in the shadow of a storeroom door. The unruly mop of his dark hair dropped in places to almost obscure his eyes, and as usual he had the odd appearance of being perfectly clean and ordered even though his clothes were old and at best casual in nature. She'd given up trying to make him wear respectable attire years ago and now acknowledged that this was how he was, and this was how he felt comfortable. Her aristocratic upbringing still cringed slightly, however, to see such a beautiful, stately man with such an important and often public job looking like he only owned one shirt and one pair of jeans.
Relena smiled to herself. I feel better already.
"I'll walk you to your room."
Her smile grew and she nodded gratefully to him. As they walked, she told him about her latest problem. "The terraforming project on Mars has hit a snag. It's been found out that my brother is there and that he's actually in charge of daily operations for the project. People are suddenly convinced that he is secretly stockpiling an army of mobile suits and armaments and recruiting soldiers to start a new war. Only this time they think he plans to attack both the Earth and all of the colonies, leaving Mars as the only livable place in the solar system. It's ridiculous, sad. The old fear is still there. What they don't realize is that it's their fear that causes war in the first place. So now there is a proposal going around to augment the Preventers with greater numbers and more powerful weapons. They don't realize that what they're asking for is just another standing army. They've found a new threat, and they're reacting in the same old way. Their eternal fear of others causes them to act aggressively and irrationally. Some of the old generals of OZ and the Earth Sphere Alliance are getting involved. Some people have proposed sending a force to Mars and executing Milliardo for crimes against humanity. Some have had the decency to suggest having a trial first."
Relena was sure that Heero, the head of her security staff, and an obsessive information tracker, already knew everything she was telling him. In fact, he probably knew more than she did. That was part of the reason she talked to him about matters that very few people even knew about. She trusted him completely, and knew that he would always give her an informed and bluntly honest response. In a way, he was her best advisor. He often disagreed flat out with her decisions, and her methods of solving problems, but his understanding of a situation, no matter how different from her own was always an essential part of her thinking.
She looked over to Heero, waiting for his response and noticed that he looked a little on edge. Noticing Heero's emotional responses was an art, and she felt an odd bit of pride in being one of the few people with any skill at it. His apparent reaction to any given situation was usually stoicism or a menacing growl of anger. But the Vice Foreign Minister of Earth was a natural master of human relations, and she had watched her warrior friend for enough time to be able to pick up on the subtle changes in his mood. She was aware that this ability of hers often disturbed him, and tried not to strip away his sense of emotional security by using it too often. But this was important, not just because people were threatening her poor brother, who had fled all the way to Mars just to escape the bulk of humanity, but because they were willing to escalate the solar system's military force in order to do it.
"What's the matter Heero?"
He looked at her sideways, not turning his head but rather quickly darting his eyes in her direction and then continuing to stare ahead.
"Nothing."
She stopped in the middle of the hallway they were in, forcing him to stop and face her.
"My God, Heero. You don't agree with them, do you?"
She was faced with Heero at his most impassive. Completely unreadable.
"Heero, my brother Milliardo no longer wishes to fight. I gave him the Mars project as a way to disappear again, a way to start over in anonymity with someone who loves him by his side. The things he did during the war were horrible, but he would never work to bring about such a conflict again. In his extreme way, he fought to end all fighting. He and Noin fought against Marimeia's army along with you and the other gundam pilots just a year after the end of the war and they didn't kill a single person. My brother is finally healing from a life spent in hate and revenge. He's working like us to create a new world free of fear. How can you condemn him and forgive yourself?"
She immediately wished she could take back her last statement. If there was one thing she was certain of, it was that Heero Yuy never forgave himself for anything, and he certainly hadn't forgiven himself for the inevitable innocents who he'd killed along with his enemies during the war. But did he really believe her brother was still his enemy? Was Milliardo still just Zechs Merquise, the would-be destroyer of Earth in his eyes?
"Heero, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to judge you. Please forgive me." She waited for some kind of acknowledgment to her apology, but didn't notice anything but a tired look in his eyes. She was one of the few people who realized that even though Heero Yuy, former pilot of the brutal machine Wing Zero never let his feelings interfere with the ruthless acts required to achieve the greater good, it didn't mean the feelings weren't there. She also knew that this conflict between ruthlessness and kindness within him caused him nothing but pain when his mind was unoccupied with work. She was attacking him out of fear and that made her no better than anyone else. "Please, tell me...do you really believe my brother is still trying to destroy the Earth?"
"I don't think Zechs has any desire to conquer."
"Then what is it, Heero? Something is bothering you."
He turned to face her and for a moment she saw the tantalizing flicker of something almost spiritual flash in his eyes, as though he were about to offer confession before his god.
"You're the only one who doesn't deserve to be executed, Relena."
His accusation of virtue hung before her, masking her, obliterating her. There was no way for her to break through. She had tried in the past, but her humanity, her faults, her weakness and doubt, all her self-loathing were trapped in a cocoon of purity that the world spun around her every hour of her life. She saw it in people's faces, the image they had of her in their minds, of an untouchable being who floated before them in a shining shroud of hymnal beauty. The avatar of peace. Only a few people seemed capable of treating her as a person anymore, and it hurt her as a betrayal to hear Heero speak to her of her innocence.
Suddenly the solace she found in his company was gone and she became aware once again of the halls, the endless, curtained, tasseled, rebuilt walls of her private hell. Looking around her, she realized that she was nearly to her personal suite and that knowledge gave her the confidence to make it the rest of the way on her own.
"Thank you for your company Heero. I will walk the rest of the way alone. Good night."
She repressed the urge to break into a dead run for her door, and instead focused solely on her destination and never once looked back to see the frustration marring the features of her chief of security's face.
"Yes, come in."
A black suit, necktie, wrinkled hand on the doorknob. It was only Pagan, her butler and permanent companion.
"Hello Pagan, what can I do for you?"
With raised eyebrows and a stiff back, the gray haired man who had taught her right from wrong for as long as she could remember sniffed slightly and a familiar look of amusement flitted across his mustached face.
"Miss Relena, if you want to perform your best, you must allow for proper rest. I think you might find it more comfortable to sleep in your bed."
She started in surprise, feeling like a child caught telling a lie. She looked up at his familiar, wrinkled face and smiled sheepishly.
"How did you know I fell asleep?"
With a twinkle of mischief in his eye Pagan drew himself up to his most pompous height, and replied, "Miss Relena, I have been watching over you for almost twenty years. It is my job to know such things."
She looked at him, trying to figure out just what he found so amusing, but realized that she really was just too tired and that once again Pagan was right. She needed to go to bed. She stood up from the desk and stifled a yawn.
"Thank you Pagan."
"Will that be all Miss?"
"Yes Pagan, thank you."
He glanced fondly at her before closing the door and bidding her good night.
She yawned aloud this time and tidied the files on her desk. Before switching off the lights and repairing to her rooms, she stopped to gaze out of her bulletproof window, searching for Mars in the night sky. It must be rising late. The moon was up and illuminating a bank of clouds which tore gently at the edges while passing in front of the silver crescent. Such beauty, a beauty which occurred whether you stopped to notice it or not made her chest constrict in pain. She closed her eyes and let the feel of cool glass against her forehead calm the wash of unwelcome emotion.
She pulled her weight back and stared critically at her reflection in the glass. After a few seconds she noticed a pink line running from her forehead to her nose and the remains of a handprint on her right cheek.
"What? Oh! So that's what Pagan found so entertaining!"
She harumphed slightly in a mixture of indignation and amusement, and made a note never to nap facedown on her desk again. With a final look at the moon, she turned and headed for bed.
This mansion, the Peacecraft mansion, seat of the former Sank Kingdom was immense. It held almost one hundred and fifty guest bedrooms, an entire wing for the servants, two ballrooms, a library, a conservatory, twelve conference rooms, countless storerooms, an enormous kitchen, four large dining rooms, enough offices to house her entire administrative staff, expansive gardens and much, much more.
It also held a tunnel leading to an underground mobile suit hangar that could shelter the entire population of the Sank Kingdom in an emergency. The hangar was now used to store grain and emergency supplies in case her efforts to ward off another war proved futile. It was probable that they would indeed be used one day. No matter how hard she worked, there was always that possibility.
Her thoughts were running towards the morbid end of her emotional spectrum as she made her way through the mostly deserted halls to her quarters. She knew that in theory she was safe. Heero and his security team kept the mansion in an invulnerable state of defense at all times, but this place haunted her. Ever since moving here almost five years ago it had haunted her sleep with nightmares of screaming and fire and faces torn with pain. The memory of running. Walking alone through its endless halls at night when she was already so tired made her legs weak with inutile adrenaline, and she felt the space between her shoulder blades grow tight and cold. This fear was insufferable! She clenched her fists in defiance, willing her body forward at a regular pace. She was feeling lightheaded and tried taking deeper breaths to calm her nerves.
"Relena."
The familiar monotone of his voice made it through her wave of panic and caused her to look around for the source.
"Heero?"
He was there, in the shadow of a storeroom door. The unruly mop of his dark hair dropped in places to almost obscure his eyes, and as usual he had the odd appearance of being perfectly clean and ordered even though his clothes were old and at best casual in nature. She'd given up trying to make him wear respectable attire years ago and now acknowledged that this was how he was, and this was how he felt comfortable. Her aristocratic upbringing still cringed slightly, however, to see such a beautiful, stately man with such an important and often public job looking like he only owned one shirt and one pair of jeans.
Relena smiled to herself. I feel better already.
"I'll walk you to your room."
Her smile grew and she nodded gratefully to him. As they walked, she told him about her latest problem. "The terraforming project on Mars has hit a snag. It's been found out that my brother is there and that he's actually in charge of daily operations for the project. People are suddenly convinced that he is secretly stockpiling an army of mobile suits and armaments and recruiting soldiers to start a new war. Only this time they think he plans to attack both the Earth and all of the colonies, leaving Mars as the only livable place in the solar system. It's ridiculous, sad. The old fear is still there. What they don't realize is that it's their fear that causes war in the first place. So now there is a proposal going around to augment the Preventers with greater numbers and more powerful weapons. They don't realize that what they're asking for is just another standing army. They've found a new threat, and they're reacting in the same old way. Their eternal fear of others causes them to act aggressively and irrationally. Some of the old generals of OZ and the Earth Sphere Alliance are getting involved. Some people have proposed sending a force to Mars and executing Milliardo for crimes against humanity. Some have had the decency to suggest having a trial first."
Relena was sure that Heero, the head of her security staff, and an obsessive information tracker, already knew everything she was telling him. In fact, he probably knew more than she did. That was part of the reason she talked to him about matters that very few people even knew about. She trusted him completely, and knew that he would always give her an informed and bluntly honest response. In a way, he was her best advisor. He often disagreed flat out with her decisions, and her methods of solving problems, but his understanding of a situation, no matter how different from her own was always an essential part of her thinking.
She looked over to Heero, waiting for his response and noticed that he looked a little on edge. Noticing Heero's emotional responses was an art, and she felt an odd bit of pride in being one of the few people with any skill at it. His apparent reaction to any given situation was usually stoicism or a menacing growl of anger. But the Vice Foreign Minister of Earth was a natural master of human relations, and she had watched her warrior friend for enough time to be able to pick up on the subtle changes in his mood. She was aware that this ability of hers often disturbed him, and tried not to strip away his sense of emotional security by using it too often. But this was important, not just because people were threatening her poor brother, who had fled all the way to Mars just to escape the bulk of humanity, but because they were willing to escalate the solar system's military force in order to do it.
"What's the matter Heero?"
He looked at her sideways, not turning his head but rather quickly darting his eyes in her direction and then continuing to stare ahead.
"Nothing."
She stopped in the middle of the hallway they were in, forcing him to stop and face her.
"My God, Heero. You don't agree with them, do you?"
She was faced with Heero at his most impassive. Completely unreadable.
"Heero, my brother Milliardo no longer wishes to fight. I gave him the Mars project as a way to disappear again, a way to start over in anonymity with someone who loves him by his side. The things he did during the war were horrible, but he would never work to bring about such a conflict again. In his extreme way, he fought to end all fighting. He and Noin fought against Marimeia's army along with you and the other gundam pilots just a year after the end of the war and they didn't kill a single person. My brother is finally healing from a life spent in hate and revenge. He's working like us to create a new world free of fear. How can you condemn him and forgive yourself?"
She immediately wished she could take back her last statement. If there was one thing she was certain of, it was that Heero Yuy never forgave himself for anything, and he certainly hadn't forgiven himself for the inevitable innocents who he'd killed along with his enemies during the war. But did he really believe her brother was still his enemy? Was Milliardo still just Zechs Merquise, the would-be destroyer of Earth in his eyes?
"Heero, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to judge you. Please forgive me." She waited for some kind of acknowledgment to her apology, but didn't notice anything but a tired look in his eyes. She was one of the few people who realized that even though Heero Yuy, former pilot of the brutal machine Wing Zero never let his feelings interfere with the ruthless acts required to achieve the greater good, it didn't mean the feelings weren't there. She also knew that this conflict between ruthlessness and kindness within him caused him nothing but pain when his mind was unoccupied with work. She was attacking him out of fear and that made her no better than anyone else. "Please, tell me...do you really believe my brother is still trying to destroy the Earth?"
"I don't think Zechs has any desire to conquer."
"Then what is it, Heero? Something is bothering you."
He turned to face her and for a moment she saw the tantalizing flicker of something almost spiritual flash in his eyes, as though he were about to offer confession before his god.
"You're the only one who doesn't deserve to be executed, Relena."
His accusation of virtue hung before her, masking her, obliterating her. There was no way for her to break through. She had tried in the past, but her humanity, her faults, her weakness and doubt, all her self-loathing were trapped in a cocoon of purity that the world spun around her every hour of her life. She saw it in people's faces, the image they had of her in their minds, of an untouchable being who floated before them in a shining shroud of hymnal beauty. The avatar of peace. Only a few people seemed capable of treating her as a person anymore, and it hurt her as a betrayal to hear Heero speak to her of her innocence.
Suddenly the solace she found in his company was gone and she became aware once again of the halls, the endless, curtained, tasseled, rebuilt walls of her private hell. Looking around her, she realized that she was nearly to her personal suite and that knowledge gave her the confidence to make it the rest of the way on her own.
"Thank you for your company Heero. I will walk the rest of the way alone. Good night."
She repressed the urge to break into a dead run for her door, and instead focused solely on her destination and never once looked back to see the frustration marring the features of her chief of security's face.