Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Sweet Innocence ❯ Sweet Innocence ( One-Shot )

Title: Sweet Innocence

By: Squall-sama

Warning: 1x4, NC-17, strong language, LEMON, Angst, sap, fluff

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't sue me, Bandai/Sunrise does-not me!!

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~Sweet Innocence~

Quatre, I like saying that, Quatre… Quatre… it's soothing, it calms the rage in my soul. Quatre, I've been sitting here, at my laptop, for the past seven hours, doing nothing but stalling…. Hm! Imagine that, the great Heero Yuy, stalling? I can't imagine what Duo would think… no, I know what he would be thinking right now, 'Oh my God! Somebody call the State Senate-call OZ-call the Romafeller foundation! Heero Yuy is stalling because he's scared!'

Yes, that's right, I'm scared… for the first time in my life, I'm scared to death of what will happen next; I'm perched at the edge of my swivel chair, gun cocked and only a split second away from being fired by my twitching fingertips, sweat rolling in beads down my frowning forehead and my brain in overdrive trying to figure out what to say… to you. God! What am I supposed to say? I don't know, I can't think, I can't breathe, I can't move…. My steel-packed body is so tense and wound-up, fighting the urge to volt for the glass doors and throw myself to the edge and over the spiraling railing of my second story suite, that it hurts with a bloody passion; not even all of Doctor J's experiments and tortures could add up to the pain I'm feeling right now.

If it sounds like I'm at a loss for words-you're right, I am… but I assure you, that's an understatement to how hard it is for me to say these things right now. Hell! I can't even tell you strait forward… no, I can't even say it in writing. Damn it I wish I could just say it! But… I can't, yes I can, I can do it-I'm the 'Perfect Soldier' for Christ Sakes!!

I can do anything… right? Quatre, you tell me, tell me it's true and tell me I'm strong and I can do anything…… tell me? No, that would just make me weak… but, I already am weak-I can't even tell you what I want to. Why is it so difficult, why is it that every time I look into those breathtaking cerulean depths of your crystalline eyes, or hear every single tiny syllable uttered from your lush pink lips, or dream of running my blood-stained calloused hands over that silky-sweet flesh, all my hopes and dreams only become more distant and less likely to happen? Why do I just sit down and take the torture and the pain?

I don't want to! Christ, any pain-any torture would be better than this; I would endure a thousand lifetimes of fighting and killing and torture and pain if only… if only I could… have you. There I said it, I finally said it, do you hear me!? I want you! I want you so badly it fucking hurts and I'm weeping in my sleep even, just to hold your delicate body within my crushing embrace.

I cry for you to notice me, no, not the every-day, 'Hi, Heero, how are you today?' notice, but the, 'I'm in love with you too' notice. I hate how you ignore me, I hate how you put all of your focus and attention on each and every single goddamn person, giving them your fullest attention and consideration each time… but you never do it for me, why? All I want is for you to look at me just once with that same amount of compassion and attentiveness that you do for everyone else, is that so much to ask? I guess you can say I'm jealous, I want you all to myself-I always have, even during the war… I was so jealous of Trowa, how he could get so close to you and you would let him-I hated him for it. I still don't know if I'm making sense to you… I'm not even making sense to myself.

Can you understand how I'm feeling? Have you ever wanted something so badly, that you would go to the greatest risks just to have it? That's how I feel about you… I would do anything-positively anything to have just an ounce of your love within my grasp. I would fly to the farthest reaches of the Universe just to hear you say one single word just for me; I would die a thousand times over just to hold you close to me-or even hold your delicate hand in mine. I would give up the world, everyone's freedom and start a war all over again, if only I could know that you care even the slightest bit about me.

I can't help this, I can't fight this retched feeling inside my heart and soul-it hurts, I want to cry every time I awaken from another one of my wet dreams-about you. Yet at the same time, I hope, I dream of you again, panting and moaning my name beneath me as I drive you insane with lust and pleasure, when I fall asleep. I wish I really could do that, I wish I could rip all the clothing from your fair body and my own and crush our naked limbs together in a bruising embrace as I plunder your sweet, delicate lips and mouth with my own. I want to touch your skin-your body in the most intimate of ways, slowly trailing wet kisses down your graceful, curved neck and to the two pink little nipples I know would be hard upon your perfect chest, nipping at them and suckling them adoringly. I would trail my nimble fingers down your lithe frame, across the smooth, taught planes of your stomach to your inner thighs, just below your aching manhood that I would leave to pleasure later.

I would revel in your cries of pleasure and moans of passion as I slip my calloused fingers within your tight body, preparing you for what's to come-I wouldn't want to hurt you-I would never harm you, I would sooner die first that hurt the most precious thing in my life. I would cover your body in tender, loving kisses as I drove my aching organ inside your secret passage, taking you to the hilt, like I always thought I would do if I ever got the chance. You would scream out my name and grip my messy mass of chocolate locks in your tiny, desperate fingers, digging your nails into my back as well…. I would kiss the tender flesh where your beautiful shoulder and neck connect and murmur incoherent, loving non-sense words in your ear, all the while, sheathing and unsheathing my straining manhood within your velvety tightness. When it was time for you to release your passion and you could hold it back no more, you would scream out my name, squeezing your eyes shut and grabbing hold of my body as if it were the only thing holding you to this world and then your sweet pearly essence would flow between us and mine would flow within you, marking you as mine-as my property, my own to love and cherish, and pleasure for the rest of eternity.

When it is all over, we would curl up together, you resting your head on my chest, your arms wrapped around my stomach in that endearing manner that all lovers do and I would twine my legs around your own, and encircle your delicate little body within my strong, protective embrace, unconsciously running my fingers through that unimaginably soft, golden-blond hair, all the while whispering 'I love you's' to each other……

I wish that could happen; I wish you could see me in your heart the way I see you in mine. I want you to see me as you saw me in the war-not as our leader, not as the 'Perfect Soldier', but as the young man you admired and loved, just as I loved you and admired you ever since we met. Yes, you inspired me-all of the Gundam Pilots did, but you the most… and I never forgot that innocent, frightened look you gave me when I entrusted the ZERO system to you. I wanted to cry when you begged me silently to lead us instead of you… but you did it perfectly, just like I knew you would, and I never forgot that. I don't think I'll ever forget anything about you, even if you did decide to ignore me the rest of our lives… or worse, leave me behind.

I fear that the most, the thought that someday you will get tire of me tagging along and you will leave me behind for another, or just to get on with your life…. I don't want that-gods I don't want that! I want you by my side-always! I never want you to leave me… even if you never do acknowledge my love and adoration for you… I'll always be by your side to protect you and keep you strong, if not for my benefit than for your own. I guess I never was good at expressing my feelings huh?

But… I think I can say it now, I'm not scared of what may come if I do…… I just hope you can forgive me, my dear, precious, Little Quatre…

I Love You.

~Owari~

Okay, here it is. Ever since I wrote this I have really wanted someone-anyone to make a reply ficcie to this-as if Quatre was replying to Heero's needs! Just for fun, nobody has to do it; I just thought it would be kinda neat if somebody did write the other half to this.

I also want to thank those of you who did write the reply to this pathetic little thing-I worship you all! And perhaps some day I might just write a reply back to all of you!! =^_~=