Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Tank Police Division 195 ❯ Une's Obstacle Course ( Chapter 3 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Kaori 
Punishment! OHNOES!!
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Police | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 10.18.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 303 | Status: Completed
Punishment! OHNOES!!
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Adventure / Police | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 10.18.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 303 | Status: Completed
Tank Police Division 195
Chapter Three: Une's Obstacle Course
Get offa that file cabinet!
No!
Come down now! Don't make me get my gun!
It had been like this all morning: Captain Scot chasing some runaway or lost child that the Child Welfare officers brought in for him to mind. Sometimes he
wondered whether the parents of some of these children didn't leave them on
purpose. (1)
This couldn't possibly get any worse. The Captain muttered. As if on cue, Chief Une herself walked in, a big smirk on her face.
Are you having fun, Captain? she asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.
I loathe you Scot growled.
I'm sure you do. Une drawled. But I outrank you so it doesn't matter.
Do you get off on making people suffer?
Wouldn't you just love to know? the smirk was back and now upgraded to wicked grin. As much as I'm enjoying this, I didn't come here just to torment youWellactually I did, but I also found a way to torment your destructive new recruits and that smart-aleck sergeant of yours. Captain Scot blanched as the grin got upgraded once again from wicked to evil.
AAAGGGHHHH!! AUUUGH!!! OUCH!! SHIT!!! DAMMIT!! These screams and curses are brought to you courtesy of the thirty pellet guns (2) currently shooting at the five new officers and Sergeant Peacecraft.
Une had decided that some disciplinary training was in order and called in a favor to a friend of hers in the army and procured the use of the military testing ground for prototype androids. At least she was a little humane and asked her friend to replace the lasers, bombs, high explosives, and acid traps with pellet guns, gas bombs, firecrackers, and tar pits.
The testing ground itself contained (in addition to the ridiculous amount of booby traps and mechanical snipers) a number of obstacles that you had to pass in order to get to the exit. First was a serried of assault walls of varying
heights, and a maze followed by a minefield. The poor tank police officers had been assaulted with pellet guns at every wrong turn in the maze and inside the minefield, they had stepped on almost every gas-filled mine trying to escape
the pellet-gun toting robots that had followed them out of the maze. After that, they had to cross a pit using a zig-zag balance beam. Falling in resulted in a tar bath, and attempting to go around the pit meant being shot at with more pellet guns.
It turned out that Officers Barton, Chang, and Maxwell had excellent balance; easily navigating the snaking beam. Sargeant Peacecraft, Officer Yuy, and Officer Winner had a more difficult time of it; they had been forced to proceed
slowly and stumbled at almost every step. Duo and Wufei's taunting didn't help much either
Now what do you suppose we have here, Chang? Duo asked Wufei, loud enough for the men on the beam to hear.
I'd say onnas on a board. Wufei drawled.
It's not woah funny you guys! Quatre glared, desperately trying to keep his balance.
It is from this end! Wufei and Duo chorused.
Honestly, you look like a bunch of hula dancers on a wire! Duo chuckled.
When I get over there I'm going to shove you into this pit! Heero threatened.
Nobody's shoving anybody into anything until we get out. Milliardo growled as he reached the end of the beam, the other two closely behind. Let's get to the next obstacle.
The next hurdle was a fifty foot wall with several handholds and footholds, much
like the ones used for indoor rock climbing.
Oh man Duo moaned. How many more of these stupid walls are we going to have to climb?
Injustice. Wufei muttered. I'm almost positive that this violates at least four of our human rights.
Complaining isn't going to make it go away, you know. Heero said.
That's not going to stop us from doing it. Duo pointed out. Quatre got a grip on the handholds.
Come on, let's get this over with. He sighed.
Halfway up the wall however
KACHINK WHIRRRRR
What was that? Milliardo twitched.
I don' know, and I don't wanna. Trowa said, worriedly. Let's just keep climbing before oh hell The green-eyed man found himself staring up the barrel of what could only be a gas gun protruding from a panel in the wall.
FSSSSHHHH
WAAGH! the surprise at being sprayed with mild tear gas (never mind the gas itself) caused Trowa to lose his grip. Luckily, Heero and Wufei managed to catch him as he fell past.
Are you all right? Wufei asked as Trowa got a grip on the wall.
I'll be a lot better once we get out of here.
As they continued up the wall, a few more panels opened up and sprayed at the person beneath it. They had learned from the first experience, however, to tuck their heads down and hold their breath when that happened so no one else fell off the wall.
So it went, one obstacle and several booby traps followed by more obstacles and booby traps until
I think this is the last one. Quatre said. They had been in the obstacle course for about four hours now and they were pretty tired.
What makes you say that? Trowa asked.
Well, that exit sign over there for starters.
Ah.
Whoever designed this thing has an unhealthy obsession with booby traps. Duo muttered. I've inhaled so much gas I'm afraid I'll blow up if I get near an open flame.
Une must die Une must die.. Une must dieHeero chanted inwardly.
At least it's not another wall. Wufei commented. I'm so sore from being shot at that I couldn't possibly climb another one.
It's a pit, it's just as bad. Milliardo grumbled. You have to climb down into it and climb back out to get to the other side.
I can jump that no problem.
So can I. Trowa challenged. The two glanced at each other, steely glints in their eyes.
Geez, you sound like Academy boys. Milliardo snorted. No offense, Quatre.
It's all right. They do sound like stupid show-offs. Quatre sighed. Everybody knows most of the Police Academy student body are either show-off apple-polishers, overachieving zealots, rich kids whose parents think they need discipline.
And which category do you fall into? Quatre chuckled at the question.
Me? I'm a disinherited rich kid that wants to make living a little less dangerous. Duo's voice interrupted the thoughtful conversation.
Oi! If you're gonna jump do it and get on with it, quit staring at each other like you're some kind of weird gladiators!
Mind your own business! Wufei barked. Before Duo could retort, Heero swung by them and onto the other side of the pit.
Where did you find that rope? Milliardo demanded.
It was there the whole time. You all were just too busy running your mouths to notice. Heero swung the rope back across the pit. Now if you're through chatting I want to get out of here.
Sally and Noin were waiting for them outside the testing facility. How was it? Noin asked.
If murder wasn't a crime, I'd kill Une for this. Wufei stated. The others grunted their agreement.
We're tired, bruised, sore, ticked off, and hungry. Duo listed on his fingers/ This day couldn't possibly get any crappier.
Actually Sally said, hesitantly. Une asked us to tell you that she's docking your pay for a month to help compensate for the damage you caused.
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (3)
Two military personnel patrolling the perimeter looked up at what sounded like the tortured scream of a wild animal. Eh, close enough..
(1) Before you jump down my throat my mother was a Social Worker at one point. After school I had to hang around her workplace until she got off, so they made me keep the kids there company while they were waiting to get processed. Some of them were really awful bastards and the kid in this fic is based on them.
(2) Ever go paintballing and get shot in the ass? Imagine that kind of pain all over
(3) It's the fanfic's theme song!
Chapter Three: Une's Obstacle Course
Get offa that file cabinet!
No!
Come down now! Don't make me get my gun!
It had been like this all morning: Captain Scot chasing some runaway or lost child that the Child Welfare officers brought in for him to mind. Sometimes he
wondered whether the parents of some of these children didn't leave them on
purpose. (1)
This couldn't possibly get any worse. The Captain muttered. As if on cue, Chief Une herself walked in, a big smirk on her face.
Are you having fun, Captain? she asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.
I loathe you Scot growled.
I'm sure you do. Une drawled. But I outrank you so it doesn't matter.
Do you get off on making people suffer?
Wouldn't you just love to know? the smirk was back and now upgraded to wicked grin. As much as I'm enjoying this, I didn't come here just to torment youWellactually I did, but I also found a way to torment your destructive new recruits and that smart-aleck sergeant of yours. Captain Scot blanched as the grin got upgraded once again from wicked to evil.
AAAGGGHHHH!! AUUUGH!!! OUCH!! SHIT!!! DAMMIT!! These screams and curses are brought to you courtesy of the thirty pellet guns (2) currently shooting at the five new officers and Sergeant Peacecraft.
Une had decided that some disciplinary training was in order and called in a favor to a friend of hers in the army and procured the use of the military testing ground for prototype androids. At least she was a little humane and asked her friend to replace the lasers, bombs, high explosives, and acid traps with pellet guns, gas bombs, firecrackers, and tar pits.
The testing ground itself contained (in addition to the ridiculous amount of booby traps and mechanical snipers) a number of obstacles that you had to pass in order to get to the exit. First was a serried of assault walls of varying
heights, and a maze followed by a minefield. The poor tank police officers had been assaulted with pellet guns at every wrong turn in the maze and inside the minefield, they had stepped on almost every gas-filled mine trying to escape
the pellet-gun toting robots that had followed them out of the maze. After that, they had to cross a pit using a zig-zag balance beam. Falling in resulted in a tar bath, and attempting to go around the pit meant being shot at with more pellet guns.
It turned out that Officers Barton, Chang, and Maxwell had excellent balance; easily navigating the snaking beam. Sargeant Peacecraft, Officer Yuy, and Officer Winner had a more difficult time of it; they had been forced to proceed
slowly and stumbled at almost every step. Duo and Wufei's taunting didn't help much either
Now what do you suppose we have here, Chang? Duo asked Wufei, loud enough for the men on the beam to hear.
I'd say onnas on a board. Wufei drawled.
It's not woah funny you guys! Quatre glared, desperately trying to keep his balance.
It is from this end! Wufei and Duo chorused.
Honestly, you look like a bunch of hula dancers on a wire! Duo chuckled.
When I get over there I'm going to shove you into this pit! Heero threatened.
Nobody's shoving anybody into anything until we get out. Milliardo growled as he reached the end of the beam, the other two closely behind. Let's get to the next obstacle.
The next hurdle was a fifty foot wall with several handholds and footholds, much
like the ones used for indoor rock climbing.
Oh man Duo moaned. How many more of these stupid walls are we going to have to climb?
Injustice. Wufei muttered. I'm almost positive that this violates at least four of our human rights.
Complaining isn't going to make it go away, you know. Heero said.
That's not going to stop us from doing it. Duo pointed out. Quatre got a grip on the handholds.
Come on, let's get this over with. He sighed.
Halfway up the wall however
KACHINK WHIRRRRR
What was that? Milliardo twitched.
I don' know, and I don't wanna. Trowa said, worriedly. Let's just keep climbing before oh hell The green-eyed man found himself staring up the barrel of what could only be a gas gun protruding from a panel in the wall.
FSSSSHHHH
WAAGH! the surprise at being sprayed with mild tear gas (never mind the gas itself) caused Trowa to lose his grip. Luckily, Heero and Wufei managed to catch him as he fell past.
Are you all right? Wufei asked as Trowa got a grip on the wall.
I'll be a lot better once we get out of here.
As they continued up the wall, a few more panels opened up and sprayed at the person beneath it. They had learned from the first experience, however, to tuck their heads down and hold their breath when that happened so no one else fell off the wall.
So it went, one obstacle and several booby traps followed by more obstacles and booby traps until
I think this is the last one. Quatre said. They had been in the obstacle course for about four hours now and they were pretty tired.
What makes you say that? Trowa asked.
Well, that exit sign over there for starters.
Ah.
Whoever designed this thing has an unhealthy obsession with booby traps. Duo muttered. I've inhaled so much gas I'm afraid I'll blow up if I get near an open flame.
Une must die Une must die.. Une must dieHeero chanted inwardly.
At least it's not another wall. Wufei commented. I'm so sore from being shot at that I couldn't possibly climb another one.
It's a pit, it's just as bad. Milliardo grumbled. You have to climb down into it and climb back out to get to the other side.
I can jump that no problem.
So can I. Trowa challenged. The two glanced at each other, steely glints in their eyes.
Geez, you sound like Academy boys. Milliardo snorted. No offense, Quatre.
It's all right. They do sound like stupid show-offs. Quatre sighed. Everybody knows most of the Police Academy student body are either show-off apple-polishers, overachieving zealots, rich kids whose parents think they need discipline.
And which category do you fall into? Quatre chuckled at the question.
Me? I'm a disinherited rich kid that wants to make living a little less dangerous. Duo's voice interrupted the thoughtful conversation.
Oi! If you're gonna jump do it and get on with it, quit staring at each other like you're some kind of weird gladiators!
Mind your own business! Wufei barked. Before Duo could retort, Heero swung by them and onto the other side of the pit.
Where did you find that rope? Milliardo demanded.
It was there the whole time. You all were just too busy running your mouths to notice. Heero swung the rope back across the pit. Now if you're through chatting I want to get out of here.
Sally and Noin were waiting for them outside the testing facility. How was it? Noin asked.
If murder wasn't a crime, I'd kill Une for this. Wufei stated. The others grunted their agreement.
We're tired, bruised, sore, ticked off, and hungry. Duo listed on his fingers/ This day couldn't possibly get any crappier.
Actually Sally said, hesitantly. Une asked us to tell you that she's docking your pay for a month to help compensate for the damage you caused.
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (3)
Two military personnel patrolling the perimeter looked up at what sounded like the tortured scream of a wild animal. Eh, close enough..
(1) Before you jump down my throat my mother was a Social Worker at one point. After school I had to hang around her workplace until she got off, so they made me keep the kids there company while they were waiting to get processed. Some of them were really awful bastards and the kid in this fic is based on them.
(2) Ever go paintballing and get shot in the ass? Imagine that kind of pain all over
(3) It's the fanfic's theme song!