Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Tank Police Division 195 ❯ Tank Police Harrassment ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

I t's about time I updated this thing, ne? Oh yeah, congrats to Light02 who correctly guessed that the movie reference was to Dirty Harry. Light02 will be appearing as Andy, Une's errand boy. As for those of you who thought I was talking about Police Academy, I am fully aware that there is a Callahan in those movies but I wasn't thinking about him. Besides, Dirty Harry Callahan is so much cooler!

You forgot to read your fortune cookie. It says, You ' re shit out of luck.

Go ahead, make my day

I know what you ' re thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I ' ve kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you ' ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I f eel lucky? Well, do ya punk?

You gotta love an attitude like that!! Anyway, here is the next part. Hope you like it!



Tank Police Division 195
Chapter Five: Tank Police Harassment

You can't do that to us!

Yeah! We got rights, ya know!

I want a lawyer!

The group that had been at the crime scene walked into the pit to find Officer Yuy casually leaning against his tank while Officer Maxwell gleefully poked at the suspects with what looked like the pole used to clean the insides of the tanks' turrets. The criminals in question were trussed up from the ceiling by ropes. Quatre and the criminals themselves were the only ones that were disturbed by the scene.

Have they confessed to anything? Captain Scot asked.

No sir. Duo said, cheerfully.

Oh good, that would spoil the fun. The three suspects paled at this. I wonder how long it'll take them to talk.

Depends on the interrogation method. Noin said sardonically.

Well, I was hoping we could play piñata before we really got down to it. Duo said, still overly cheerful. Milliardo raised an eyebrow and smirked. Noin, Trowa, and Wufei also seemed to catch the implications of that statement.

But, Duo, Trowa began slyly. we don't have a piñata.

Sure we do Duo said, slowly making his way towards the third suspect. It's right upHERE! And with that, he viciously swung the pole and cracked one of the suspects in the solar plexus. The victim screamed and Quatre looked horrified.

Oh, I see Trowa said, nonplussed.

I'm not sure I remember how this game is played. Wufei mused, feigning innocence in the most malevolent manner possible. Could you explain it to me, Captain? The Captain smiled; his boys made him so proud.

Why I would be more than happy to explain it to you, Officer Chang. Officer Maxwell, the pole if you please.

Yes sir! Duo handed the pole to his commanding officer and went to stand next to Quatre.

Should we be doing this? the blonde asked his longhaired friend.

Relax, Q. It's perfectly okay. Besides, I checked the records and nobody's ever been killed by a Tank Police interrogation.

At least not yet. Milliardo added.

Oh no Quatre groaned.

Now you see, Chang, The Captain began, nonchalantly pacing in front of the dangling suspects and waving the pole around. the way this works is you take this here pole and CRACK Suspect number three got it in the ribs. You keep doing that until you get to the confession inside.

OhI get it now! Wufei nodded and took the pole from the Captain. You just swing and WHACK! Suspect number two got it hard in the thigh. Suspect number one, who had yet to be used as a piñata, took this opportunity to speak up.

This is inhuman! You can't treat us like this! as an afterthought he added. Besides, you're supposed to have blindfolds when you play piñata.

Shut up or we'll hang you upside down. Heero remarked coolly from his spot. Suspect number one blanched.

My turn! Noin cheered, gleefully relieving Wufei of the pole.

No! Please don't! The three suspects screamed in unison.

We'll talk! Just don't hit me! Suspect one begged. Noin pouted and put the pole down.

I never bet to have any fun. She sighed dramatically, as Milliardo and three other officers dragged the suspects to the interrogation room.

Well that was entertaining. Duo said.

Entertaining?! Quatre exclaimed. You beat up two suspects! Procedure clearly states that we should take suspects to the interrogation room after we've run them through processing, not beat them up like we were the Mob or something!

Newsflash, junior. That was processing. The Captain said.

But Quatre protested.

Look kid, let me tell you something. Those rules and procedures you're so fond of don't always work and usually end up causing a big revolving door to appear in front of the courthouse. Now the methods we employ may not be up to your high moral standards but they get results, and results is what we're concerned with. Quatre flinched. In case you haven't noticed, this city is a war zone and we're the front line. And without another word, the Captain stormed off and all the young blonde could do was stare after him. Noin put her hand on his s houlder.

He's got a point you know. We have to be tough with these guys. Not just for the victims' sake or for our own sakes, but for their own good. I for one can say for certain that even if they get let off in court,they'll think twice before they do so mething like that again.

I suppose Quatre sighed, still not completely convinced. I'm gonna hit the cafeteria, you guys coming with?

I have to write up a report. Noin said. Lord only knows that Captain Scot only does paperwork in the face of the Chief's wrath. I'll see you all later.

What about you guys?

Eh, why not. Trowa shrugged. The other three nodded in agreement.

The cafeteria wasn't overly crowded as most of the off-duty officers had gone home and almost everyone else was in the pit, on patrol, or at their desk. A lithe figure waved at them from a corner of the room; shoulder-length, black hair that never stayed in its ponytail framed his face. Eyes as blue as the sky on a clear day flashed with intelligence, wit and a little weariness. Hi guys. He greeted the group as they joined him at the table.

Hey, Andy. How goes it with the task master? Duo asked. Andy groaned.

I swear that woman needs a man or something to keep her occupied. So far she's made me go down to accounting eight times to make sure the bean counters have been doing their job correctly and as usual, the crazy brunette secretary starts hitting on me. Then, she sent me out for coffee and told me to pick up her laundry while I was at it.

What's so bad about that? Quatre asked.

Une gets her dry cleaning done at Bishop's which is on the other side of town. You try pedaling a bike across town in the rain and see how much you like it. Andy scowled.

Why don't you just take the subway? Wufei put in.

I prefer not to be mugged and left bleeding on the tracks, thank you. The younger man let out a long-suffering sigh. Oh well, another two years and I'll be able to afford a motorcycle. Then I won't have to worry about any of that anymore. Duo looked thoughtful.

Why wait that long? he asked.

What are you getting at? If you're thinking about me asking Une for a raise, then forget it. That woman's a real tightwad.

No, no, nothing like that. The braided man said quickly.
What if I build a bike for you? The others blinked at Duo in surprise.

Really? You mean it?! Andy gasped.

Sure, it's no problem. I used to work in a chop shop before the 113th picked me up. But you gotta do something for me in exchange. Andy looked skeptical.

Which is?

Just keep me informed of anything really big happening in Une's office.

But what if Une finds out?! I'd be toast!

You let me worry about that.

But

If something happens, I'll take full responsibility.

If you're surethen you got yourself a deal!

Great! Meet up with me once my shift ends and we'll discuss the details.

Okay then. Thanks a lot Officer Maxwell. Andy stood up and held out his hand, Duo shook it enthusiastically. I gotta go, so I'll see you later.

Once Andy had left, Heero smacked Duo upside the head. Idiot! What was all that about?

Ow! Duo complained. Didn't I say before that I would get my revenge on the Chief? This is a way to find my opportunity.

So it's all about vengeance then? Trowa asked in a bored but curious tone.

Well, not really. I also want to help Andy out. Think of it as a mutually beneficial agreement. Why do you care anyway? You hate Une as much as I do.

Good point. Trowa snickered. I just hope you don't do something that'll get us all in trouble.

Trouble is my middle name. Duo grinned.

I thought it was Jatvoror. Heero remarked dryly. Duo turned several shades of red, grabbed Heero by the collar and shook him violently.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING READING MY PERSONAL FILE?!!

I didn't, I stole your wallet and looked at your driver's license.

THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!

Jatvoror? Wufei snickered.

My father had an obsession with Vikings okay Duo growled. Heero smirked.

You're lucky I can't pronounce your first name.

You mean, Duo isn't his first name? Quatre asked, confused.

It's the short version, okay! Geez, what's the big deal!

Jatvoror Wufei snickered.

ALL RIGHT! THAT DOES IT!! Duo lunged for Wufei and the Chinese man jumped out of the way and ran for the door, the braided man hot on his heels screaming obscenities.

Well that was interesting. Trowa stated. And now I know to hang on to my wallet.

It's a little late for that. Heero grinned evilly and flashed what could only be Trowa's driver's license. Quatre burst out laughing.

Whatsnicker happened to your hair? HAHAHAHAHA!!! Quatre fell out of his chair, tears of mirth streaming down his face.

YUY!! Trowa roared.




And I think I'll end it there. * laughs * Heero's a little pickpocket.