Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Ten Years ❯ Chapter 4
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: deathangel125 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.27.2012 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 335 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.27.2012 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 335 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimers and warnings in first part.
TEN YEARS – PART 4
Yawning widely, Duo knocked on Trowa’s apartment door with one hand, grasping a duffel bag with the other. Blinking his eyes, he shook his head in an attempt to dispel some of the weariness that had badgered him all day. He was yawning again when Trowa opened the door, dressed casually in jeans and a tank top. Duo blamed the urge to lick his lips on lack of sleep when he discovered Trowa’s feet were bare on the fake hardwood floor.
“Right on time,” Trowa smiled, stepping aside so Duo could enter and shutting the door behind him. “The food will be here in a few minutes.”
Moving to the small living room that had become familiar as his own house over the years, Duo dropped his bag to the floor and sat on the couch he had gone with Trowa to pick out. “You look good,” he observed softly, blushing as he removed his shoes out of habit.
Instead of being insulted, Trowa smiled crookedly, “So do you, but you also look tired.”
“Had some trouble sleeping last night, that’s all.”
“Want to talk about it?”
There wasn’t a force in heaven or hell strong enough to make him admit thoughts of Trowa had kept him up most of the night. “Not really.”
“You already talked to Heero.”
Clearly hearing the anger and the hurt in Trowa’s tone, Duo tilted his head. “I didn’t need to talk to Heero. I already knew what kept me awake.” Pulling his legs under his body, he met Trowa’s eyes, willing the other man to understand. “I don’t tell Heero everything.”
“It seems like it.”
“When Heero moved in we both had a lot of baggage. We made a promise not to keep secrets from each other. If we hadn’t, the things we kept buried would have eaten us from the inside out. I know I can talk to him about whatever’s bothering me and he knows he can do the same.”
“So you talk about the things you think are important?”
“That sums it up pretty well. I’m not going to tell him I have a tangle in my hair or some shit like that.”
“He thought you needed to know Wufei and I had some trouble?” Trowa’s eyes were intense, searching Duo’s face as he waited for a reply.
Realizing they were going to discuss the previous evening, Duo sighed heavily, “Listen, I’m sorry I worried about you. I didn’t know it bothered you so much. I doubt I can stop worrying about you, or Wufei for that matter, but I’ll do my best not to show it again.”
“You hide a lot of your feelings, don’t you?”
The abrupt question caught Duo off guard as Trowa came to sit beside him. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I don’t mind if you worry about me, Duo. It’s kind of nice, actually,” Trowa changed the subject, making Duo even more anxious about what the other man knew. “It just bothers me that Heero told you. It’s none of his business since we were both fine. I don’t see how he thought you needed to know.”
“Heero’s in love with your partner; that makes it his business.”
“That is Heero’s business,” Trowa stated firmly. “Telling you was not. We were safe. You didn’t need to worry. I don’t want you to worry; not if there’s no reason for it.”
“So you want me to worry, but only on your terms. You don’t mind if I talk to Heero as long as it doesn’t concern you.” Taking his shoes, Duo stood as the doorbell rang. “Just so you know, your wishes are duly noted and you can go to hell.”
“What are you doing?” Trowa demanded when Duo grasped the doorknob.
“What I should have done in the first place. I’m going to a hotel.” Yanking the door open he glared at the delivery boy hard enough to have him stepping back. “It’s his food,” he jerked a thumb at Trowa, walking away as he heard Trowa’s panicked voice.
He barely made it to the stairwell before Trowa caught up with him. “Please come back, Duo. We need to talk.”
“I don’t have a reason to stay.”
Trowa cursed softly, placing his hand on Duo’s arm only to have it jerked away. “Come back and at least eat dinner. I won’t bring up Heero again, okay? After eating you can still leave if you want to.”
They made it through the evening, but it was strained. Duo hadn’t felt uncomfortable with Trowa in years and the stress he felt the next day from his night with Trowa had him snapping at the slightest thing. It was a blessing when his students left for the holiday break, giving him some much needed personal time to deal with the tension he was feeling.
After locking up his classroom, he made his way out of the building and began the long walk home. When the wind blew through his thin coat, he shivered, pulling it closer. “You should pay more attention to the weather, Maxwell,” teased Wufei, coming to walk beside him seemingly out of nowhere.
“You followin’ me, Chang?”
Wufei smiled, something he wouldn’t have done several years before, believing he had to compete with Duo for Heero’s affection. “I’m not following you, but our meeting isn’t a coincidence. I wanted to thank you.”
“For what?”
Seeing Wufei duck his head and blush, Duo snickered. After walking a full block the other man raised his head, but kept his gaze straight forward. “I don’t think I ever told you how much I appreciated your…encouragement regarding Heero. If it hadn’t been for you, I doubt I ever would have gotten the nerve to finally tell him how I felt. When he first moved in with you, I was worried I had lost my chance with him forever.”
“Heero’s my best friend, Wufei. He’s never been more than that.”
“I know that and have known that since you told me to get my head out of my ass.”
Laughing at the choice of words, Duo shook his head, “I never said that to you, man. I enjoy breathing waaay too much.”
“It amounted to the same thing. I wanted to thank you not just for pushing me to take that risk, but in your continued support of our relationship. I…enjoyed having some time alone with Heero last night. It meant a lot to me and to Heero, to have the opportunity.”
At a spur of the moment decision, the long-haired man shrugged away the gratitude. “Then you should enjoy having the house to yourselves for Christmas.”
Wufei’s smile of pleasure turned to a frown of confusion, “I didn’t know you were planning to leave. Don’t you and Heero have a tradition you carry on every year?”
Smiling as he recalled the years spent decorating the house the week before Christmas, Duo hid his sorrow he would miss the ritual. “You can use it to practice for when you two get your own place,” he spoke, concealing his true feelings. Seeing Wufei’s worry he added, “Howard’s been after me to spend some time with him and with a few weeks free I thought I’d take the trip out.”
Shoving his hands in his pockets, Wufei fell silent for a moment. When they turned onto the road Duo’s house was on Wufei finally spoke, his voice strange. “I’m sorry things have not been going well between you and Trowa. Were you able to come to an understanding yesterday?”
The laugh Duo forced came out sounding suspiciously like a sob. “I don’t think there’s any point trying to come to an understanding, Wufei. Apparently, he’s not the person I thought he was. I believed we shared some things in common, but I was wrong. I don’t think there’s any point in trying to remain friends anymore,” he said softly, wondering if it was possible for a person’s heart to break more than once in a single lifetime.
“I think there is more to it than you know. You should take the time to talk to him before you leave, Duo. He wouldn’t want you to go like this.” Wufei stopped, putting a hand on Duo’s shoulder, forcing the smaller man to meet the concerned dark eyes. “He hides things almost as well as you do yourself, Duo. You have both hid from each other for too long.”
Looking at the other man, Duo saw the truth he had hidden reflected back at him in the dark depths. “Damnit, how long have you known? Did Heero say something?”
“You know better than that,” Wufei admonished, releasing Duo so they could begin walking again. “I have wondered why you never pursued Heero. You know you could have and I wouldn’t have had a chance if you had.”
“Honestly, Wufei. I was never interested in him.”
“You never…during the war?” Wufei blushed before giving a chuckle at Duo’s pained expression. “I’m assuming you didn’t suddenly realize you were gay after the war and you spent a lot of time together. It’s a valid question.”
“One you never bothered to ask Heero,” mused Duo, eyes turning to the ground. “To be honest, it never came up. I don’t know what would have happened if it had. I know it wouldn’t have lasted. There wouldn’t have been more than…sex,” he finished awkwardly.
It was surprising to hear a rueful chuckle from Wufei. After a moment where Duo stared solidly at his own moving feet, he glanced up as his friend spoke, “You couldn’t have feelings for Heero, could you? Not when you were already committed to someone else? Even if you didn’t realize you were committed to someone else?”
“Well hell, Wufei, why don’t you figure out all my secrets?” He dared a glance at the other man, “I guess it was like that even if I didn’t figure it out until way too late to do anything about it. By the time I finally managed to get my shit straight, it didn’t matter anymore.”
“You really think it doesn’t matter?”
Reaching his own house, Duo stopped and stuck his hands into his pockets. Looking at the road, he was brutally honest with his friend. “I’m guessing you know who I seem to be stuck on?”
“Trowa. You were hurt night before last. That’s when I figured out how you felt. No one other than the person you love would be able to wound you so deeply.” Wufei took a deep breath, but made no move to go up to the door, seemingly content to remain on the sidewalk with Duo, though they both knew Heero was inside. “I think you’re giving up and I don’t think you should.”
“I thought you were insane when you waited seven years to get Heero to take you seriously, Wufei. I’ve been waiting and hoping for almost ten. I can’t keep acting like nothing has changed, I can’t keep acting like I feel nothing. It’s killing me inside.”
Although Wufei seemed surprised by the sudden admission, he urged Duo, “Please speak to Trowa before you leave. When were you planning to depart?”
“Actually, I’m leaving tonight. I just have to confirm my flight arrangements.” He had to make them first, but he would be confirming afterward.
“Duo, are you certain about this?” By the look on Wufei’s face, he wasn’t fooled at all.
“Yeah, I am. Look, some time away may be just what I need to decide what I’m going to do next. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder and all that jazz. Who knows, Trowa might even call me to talk,” he suggested with a laugh he didn’t feel.
Leaving Wufei to tell Heero of his change in plans, Duo quickly ascended the stairs, closing his door to make a phone call. When Howard appeared on the screen Duo wondered if the bright shirts were what caused his eyes to go bad in the first place. “Hey, old man, what’cha up to?” he asked, not having to fake his pleasure at seeing the man that had taken him in without question.
“Same as usual, kid. Making a livin and wonderin’ when you’re gonna get your scrawny ass up here to see me.”
“Actually, I was hoping that invitation for Christmas was still open.”
Pushing the mirrored glasses up on his forehead, Howard peered at Duo with small eyes, critically evaluating his surrogate son. “You know you don’t have to ask, Duo. You’re always welcome. The other boys will be happy to see you, too,” he added, speaking of his crew, male and female alike. To Howard, they were all his boys.
“It means a lot to hear that. I’ll be heading out your way later tonight.”
“Need a ride from port?”
“Nah,” Duo smiled at how easy it was to return to the Sweeper ship that had been his home during his initial training, as well as occasional times in the years after the war. “I’ll get my own transpo. You just get my room ready for me.”
“It’s already ready, kid.”
After a few more minutes of small talk Duo signed off. He packed his bag with things he could use over and over and would take the strain of being washed in the industrial washers on the Sweeper ship. He had just finished getting his bag together and made arrangements to ride with a different salvage crew to where Howard’s ship was docked when Heero knocked on the door.
Knowing Wufei had already told his roommate of his intentions, he opened the door, stunned when Heero nearly choked him to death by hugging him fiercely. “Heero man, let go. I can’t breathe,” he rasped, wheezing once he was released. “What the hell?”
“I’m going to miss you. When do you plan to come back?”
Thrown off by the startling show of affection from a man that was still mostly reserved, Duo shrugged, rubbing the back of his head. “I don’t know. Classes don’t start again until after the beginning of the year, so I might stay until after New Year.”
“You’ll miss New Year’s Eve if you do that,” Heero studied him. “Are you sure?”
“Right now I’m not really sure of anything except I hurt, Heero. I’m so tired of hurting,” he admitted, sitting on the side of his bed carefully, almost certain he was going to fall apart pretty soon. He didn’t have the words to describe how painful it was to even think about Trowa no longer being part of his life.
Heero came to sit beside him, putting one arm around his shoulders. “No matter what happens between you and Trowa, I’ll always be here for you, even if I don’t live here.”
With tears in his eyes, Duo nodded and stood, retrieving his bag from where it sat on the floor beside the door. He was already walking down the stairs when the other man came running. “I don’t think you’re going to get very far without these,” Heero forced a smile as he jangled Duo’s keys. “I found them in the fridge this morning after you left.”
All of the emotions he had hemmed in threatened to break the tether he had around them. Taking the keys as if they were made of spun glass, he tucked them in his pocket and threw his arms around Heero, holding on tightly for several seconds before letting go and running for the door, pondering briefly why he seemed to feel the need to flee from a house he owned so often lately.
TEN YEARS – PART 4
Yawning widely, Duo knocked on Trowa’s apartment door with one hand, grasping a duffel bag with the other. Blinking his eyes, he shook his head in an attempt to dispel some of the weariness that had badgered him all day. He was yawning again when Trowa opened the door, dressed casually in jeans and a tank top. Duo blamed the urge to lick his lips on lack of sleep when he discovered Trowa’s feet were bare on the fake hardwood floor.
“Right on time,” Trowa smiled, stepping aside so Duo could enter and shutting the door behind him. “The food will be here in a few minutes.”
Moving to the small living room that had become familiar as his own house over the years, Duo dropped his bag to the floor and sat on the couch he had gone with Trowa to pick out. “You look good,” he observed softly, blushing as he removed his shoes out of habit.
Instead of being insulted, Trowa smiled crookedly, “So do you, but you also look tired.”
“Had some trouble sleeping last night, that’s all.”
“Want to talk about it?”
There wasn’t a force in heaven or hell strong enough to make him admit thoughts of Trowa had kept him up most of the night. “Not really.”
“You already talked to Heero.”
Clearly hearing the anger and the hurt in Trowa’s tone, Duo tilted his head. “I didn’t need to talk to Heero. I already knew what kept me awake.” Pulling his legs under his body, he met Trowa’s eyes, willing the other man to understand. “I don’t tell Heero everything.”
“It seems like it.”
“When Heero moved in we both had a lot of baggage. We made a promise not to keep secrets from each other. If we hadn’t, the things we kept buried would have eaten us from the inside out. I know I can talk to him about whatever’s bothering me and he knows he can do the same.”
“So you talk about the things you think are important?”
“That sums it up pretty well. I’m not going to tell him I have a tangle in my hair or some shit like that.”
“He thought you needed to know Wufei and I had some trouble?” Trowa’s eyes were intense, searching Duo’s face as he waited for a reply.
Realizing they were going to discuss the previous evening, Duo sighed heavily, “Listen, I’m sorry I worried about you. I didn’t know it bothered you so much. I doubt I can stop worrying about you, or Wufei for that matter, but I’ll do my best not to show it again.”
“You hide a lot of your feelings, don’t you?”
The abrupt question caught Duo off guard as Trowa came to sit beside him. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I don’t mind if you worry about me, Duo. It’s kind of nice, actually,” Trowa changed the subject, making Duo even more anxious about what the other man knew. “It just bothers me that Heero told you. It’s none of his business since we were both fine. I don’t see how he thought you needed to know.”
“Heero’s in love with your partner; that makes it his business.”
“That is Heero’s business,” Trowa stated firmly. “Telling you was not. We were safe. You didn’t need to worry. I don’t want you to worry; not if there’s no reason for it.”
“So you want me to worry, but only on your terms. You don’t mind if I talk to Heero as long as it doesn’t concern you.” Taking his shoes, Duo stood as the doorbell rang. “Just so you know, your wishes are duly noted and you can go to hell.”
“What are you doing?” Trowa demanded when Duo grasped the doorknob.
“What I should have done in the first place. I’m going to a hotel.” Yanking the door open he glared at the delivery boy hard enough to have him stepping back. “It’s his food,” he jerked a thumb at Trowa, walking away as he heard Trowa’s panicked voice.
He barely made it to the stairwell before Trowa caught up with him. “Please come back, Duo. We need to talk.”
“I don’t have a reason to stay.”
Trowa cursed softly, placing his hand on Duo’s arm only to have it jerked away. “Come back and at least eat dinner. I won’t bring up Heero again, okay? After eating you can still leave if you want to.”
They made it through the evening, but it was strained. Duo hadn’t felt uncomfortable with Trowa in years and the stress he felt the next day from his night with Trowa had him snapping at the slightest thing. It was a blessing when his students left for the holiday break, giving him some much needed personal time to deal with the tension he was feeling.
After locking up his classroom, he made his way out of the building and began the long walk home. When the wind blew through his thin coat, he shivered, pulling it closer. “You should pay more attention to the weather, Maxwell,” teased Wufei, coming to walk beside him seemingly out of nowhere.
“You followin’ me, Chang?”
Wufei smiled, something he wouldn’t have done several years before, believing he had to compete with Duo for Heero’s affection. “I’m not following you, but our meeting isn’t a coincidence. I wanted to thank you.”
“For what?”
Seeing Wufei duck his head and blush, Duo snickered. After walking a full block the other man raised his head, but kept his gaze straight forward. “I don’t think I ever told you how much I appreciated your…encouragement regarding Heero. If it hadn’t been for you, I doubt I ever would have gotten the nerve to finally tell him how I felt. When he first moved in with you, I was worried I had lost my chance with him forever.”
“Heero’s my best friend, Wufei. He’s never been more than that.”
“I know that and have known that since you told me to get my head out of my ass.”
Laughing at the choice of words, Duo shook his head, “I never said that to you, man. I enjoy breathing waaay too much.”
“It amounted to the same thing. I wanted to thank you not just for pushing me to take that risk, but in your continued support of our relationship. I…enjoyed having some time alone with Heero last night. It meant a lot to me and to Heero, to have the opportunity.”
At a spur of the moment decision, the long-haired man shrugged away the gratitude. “Then you should enjoy having the house to yourselves for Christmas.”
Wufei’s smile of pleasure turned to a frown of confusion, “I didn’t know you were planning to leave. Don’t you and Heero have a tradition you carry on every year?”
Smiling as he recalled the years spent decorating the house the week before Christmas, Duo hid his sorrow he would miss the ritual. “You can use it to practice for when you two get your own place,” he spoke, concealing his true feelings. Seeing Wufei’s worry he added, “Howard’s been after me to spend some time with him and with a few weeks free I thought I’d take the trip out.”
Shoving his hands in his pockets, Wufei fell silent for a moment. When they turned onto the road Duo’s house was on Wufei finally spoke, his voice strange. “I’m sorry things have not been going well between you and Trowa. Were you able to come to an understanding yesterday?”
The laugh Duo forced came out sounding suspiciously like a sob. “I don’t think there’s any point trying to come to an understanding, Wufei. Apparently, he’s not the person I thought he was. I believed we shared some things in common, but I was wrong. I don’t think there’s any point in trying to remain friends anymore,” he said softly, wondering if it was possible for a person’s heart to break more than once in a single lifetime.
“I think there is more to it than you know. You should take the time to talk to him before you leave, Duo. He wouldn’t want you to go like this.” Wufei stopped, putting a hand on Duo’s shoulder, forcing the smaller man to meet the concerned dark eyes. “He hides things almost as well as you do yourself, Duo. You have both hid from each other for too long.”
Looking at the other man, Duo saw the truth he had hidden reflected back at him in the dark depths. “Damnit, how long have you known? Did Heero say something?”
“You know better than that,” Wufei admonished, releasing Duo so they could begin walking again. “I have wondered why you never pursued Heero. You know you could have and I wouldn’t have had a chance if you had.”
“Honestly, Wufei. I was never interested in him.”
“You never…during the war?” Wufei blushed before giving a chuckle at Duo’s pained expression. “I’m assuming you didn’t suddenly realize you were gay after the war and you spent a lot of time together. It’s a valid question.”
“One you never bothered to ask Heero,” mused Duo, eyes turning to the ground. “To be honest, it never came up. I don’t know what would have happened if it had. I know it wouldn’t have lasted. There wouldn’t have been more than…sex,” he finished awkwardly.
It was surprising to hear a rueful chuckle from Wufei. After a moment where Duo stared solidly at his own moving feet, he glanced up as his friend spoke, “You couldn’t have feelings for Heero, could you? Not when you were already committed to someone else? Even if you didn’t realize you were committed to someone else?”
“Well hell, Wufei, why don’t you figure out all my secrets?” He dared a glance at the other man, “I guess it was like that even if I didn’t figure it out until way too late to do anything about it. By the time I finally managed to get my shit straight, it didn’t matter anymore.”
“You really think it doesn’t matter?”
Reaching his own house, Duo stopped and stuck his hands into his pockets. Looking at the road, he was brutally honest with his friend. “I’m guessing you know who I seem to be stuck on?”
“Trowa. You were hurt night before last. That’s when I figured out how you felt. No one other than the person you love would be able to wound you so deeply.” Wufei took a deep breath, but made no move to go up to the door, seemingly content to remain on the sidewalk with Duo, though they both knew Heero was inside. “I think you’re giving up and I don’t think you should.”
“I thought you were insane when you waited seven years to get Heero to take you seriously, Wufei. I’ve been waiting and hoping for almost ten. I can’t keep acting like nothing has changed, I can’t keep acting like I feel nothing. It’s killing me inside.”
Although Wufei seemed surprised by the sudden admission, he urged Duo, “Please speak to Trowa before you leave. When were you planning to depart?”
“Actually, I’m leaving tonight. I just have to confirm my flight arrangements.” He had to make them first, but he would be confirming afterward.
“Duo, are you certain about this?” By the look on Wufei’s face, he wasn’t fooled at all.
“Yeah, I am. Look, some time away may be just what I need to decide what I’m going to do next. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder and all that jazz. Who knows, Trowa might even call me to talk,” he suggested with a laugh he didn’t feel.
Leaving Wufei to tell Heero of his change in plans, Duo quickly ascended the stairs, closing his door to make a phone call. When Howard appeared on the screen Duo wondered if the bright shirts were what caused his eyes to go bad in the first place. “Hey, old man, what’cha up to?” he asked, not having to fake his pleasure at seeing the man that had taken him in without question.
“Same as usual, kid. Making a livin and wonderin’ when you’re gonna get your scrawny ass up here to see me.”
“Actually, I was hoping that invitation for Christmas was still open.”
Pushing the mirrored glasses up on his forehead, Howard peered at Duo with small eyes, critically evaluating his surrogate son. “You know you don’t have to ask, Duo. You’re always welcome. The other boys will be happy to see you, too,” he added, speaking of his crew, male and female alike. To Howard, they were all his boys.
“It means a lot to hear that. I’ll be heading out your way later tonight.”
“Need a ride from port?”
“Nah,” Duo smiled at how easy it was to return to the Sweeper ship that had been his home during his initial training, as well as occasional times in the years after the war. “I’ll get my own transpo. You just get my room ready for me.”
“It’s already ready, kid.”
After a few more minutes of small talk Duo signed off. He packed his bag with things he could use over and over and would take the strain of being washed in the industrial washers on the Sweeper ship. He had just finished getting his bag together and made arrangements to ride with a different salvage crew to where Howard’s ship was docked when Heero knocked on the door.
Knowing Wufei had already told his roommate of his intentions, he opened the door, stunned when Heero nearly choked him to death by hugging him fiercely. “Heero man, let go. I can’t breathe,” he rasped, wheezing once he was released. “What the hell?”
“I’m going to miss you. When do you plan to come back?”
Thrown off by the startling show of affection from a man that was still mostly reserved, Duo shrugged, rubbing the back of his head. “I don’t know. Classes don’t start again until after the beginning of the year, so I might stay until after New Year.”
“You’ll miss New Year’s Eve if you do that,” Heero studied him. “Are you sure?”
“Right now I’m not really sure of anything except I hurt, Heero. I’m so tired of hurting,” he admitted, sitting on the side of his bed carefully, almost certain he was going to fall apart pretty soon. He didn’t have the words to describe how painful it was to even think about Trowa no longer being part of his life.
Heero came to sit beside him, putting one arm around his shoulders. “No matter what happens between you and Trowa, I’ll always be here for you, even if I don’t live here.”
With tears in his eyes, Duo nodded and stood, retrieving his bag from where it sat on the floor beside the door. He was already walking down the stairs when the other man came running. “I don’t think you’re going to get very far without these,” Heero forced a smile as he jangled Duo’s keys. “I found them in the fridge this morning after you left.”
All of the emotions he had hemmed in threatened to break the tether he had around them. Taking the keys as if they were made of spun glass, he tucked them in his pocket and threw his arms around Heero, holding on tightly for several seconds before letting go and running for the door, pondering briefly why he seemed to feel the need to flee from a house he owned so often lately.