Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Birthday Gag ❯ Heero's Birthday ( Chapter 1 )

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Duo tucked the two-way radio into his back pocket and left the kitchen, where Quatre and Trowa were sitting. This mission needed to be successful. It needed Quatre's strategic skills, Trowa's ability to make the right decisions and Duo's stealth skills. The mission was to find the perfect birthday present for Heero.

Duo headed for the stairs wearing a grin that made him look silly, one may even say that he looked ridiculous but Duo didn't care. He was about to break into the forbidden place, a place that had eighteen locks on the door, each with a different key. This forbidden place even needed a retinal and fingerprint scan to enter.

Duo made a quick scan of his surroundings. He pulled the radio out of his pocket.

"Area one clear."

In the kitchen Trowa snickered. "He makes it sound like an action movie."

Still wearing the stupid grin, Duo held the radio close to his side and continued his journey. He met Wufei halfway up the stairs.

" Maxwell, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Looking like what?"

Back in the kitchen, Quatre tried to imagine what Duo looked like right this moment. A hilarious picture of Duo dressed in camouflage gear came to mind. He bit his lit and stifled a giggle.

An audible crackle could be heard from the receiving end.

Wufei glared at Duo. "What was that?"

"Nothing!"

The radio crackled again. Duo mentally cursed at his two noisy comrades.

"Maxwell that sound is not nothing. Now spill!"

Duo looked down and stared at his feet, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse.

"You don't wanna know."

"Yes I do Duo. Tell me now."

"Ok ok! I farted! You happy now!" blurted Duo. "That noise? It was me, farting!!!"

Another crackle came from the radio, it was much louder than the other two.

Wufei screwed his face up in disgust at the noise. "That's the last time I ask you about anything in detail" he muttered and made his way to the lounge room.

In the kitchen, Quatre and Trowa were choking on muted laughter. Duo sure knew how to make some great excuses.

Duo kept his mind focused on his mission. He reached the top of the stairs and scuttled into the hallway. He pulled out the radio again.

"Hallway clear and stop laughing or face the wrath of Shinigami (1)."

Duo swept the hallway with his eyes. Good. The bathroom door was closed.

"Heero secured in sector B. Now approaching target."

Duo crouched and crawled silently on his hands and knees to Heero's room. He unlocked 15 of the locks using the lock picks he kept in his braid. He placed a piece of plastic with Heero's fingerprint onto the scanner.

"Fingerprint scan complete," said a mechanical voice. "Please state your name."

Duo pulled out a voice recorder and pressed play.

"Heero Yuy."

"Voice activation complete. Initiating retinal scan."

This was the tricky part. Duo held up an enlarged picture of Heero and positioned its eye over the scanner."

The scanner completed its job and the door clicked open.

"Welcome."

Duo belly rolled into Heero's room and quietly shut the door behind him. He looked around to make sure that there weren't any security cameras that were taping his actions before making his way towards Heero's bookshelf.

"This is 02. Do you copy?"

Quatre managed to spit out a yes before he burst into fits of laughter. Duo was taking this so seriously.

"Guys this is serious."

"Sorry Duo…I mean 02. Is there a bookshelf?"

"Yes, now copy this down…how to use a laptop, how to touch type, the meaning of life, emotions-are they good or bad?"

Trowa grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled down the titles as Duo cited them

"Peace: its real meaning, parenting…parenting??? Ok I don't even want to know…dressing appropriately, the art of cooking…ok that's it guys, I'm positive that Heero doesn't have that book. Over and out."

"That Heero doesn't have which book?" came a familiar monotone voice.

Duo turned round. "eep…uh hi Heero. Damn…am I in the wrong room again? Oh whoops, in that case I'm going to go -"

Heero leaned in and pressed his lips against Duo's. He had learnt that this was the quickest way to silence the chatty soldier during one of his past missions.

"Mmmmmppppphhhh!" Duo waved his hands wildly in the air, indicating that he needed oxygen. Heero broke the kiss.

"Are you going to tell me now?"

Duo took out his radio. "Sorry guys but you're going to have to get a refund. Heero doesn't need to learn the art of kissing."

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(1) Shinigami- God of Death