Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Cost of Honour Trilogy #1 - Payment Demanded ❯ Chapter 1
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Calic0cat 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Angst | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 04.26.2003 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.6K | Visits: 698 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Angst | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 04.26.2003 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.6K | Visits: 698 | Status: Completed
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Title: #1 - Payment Demanded
Part: 1/2
Series: The Cost of Honour Trilogy
Author: Calic0cat <calic0cat@fastmail.fm>
Story Started: Feb. 2, 2003
Story Finished: April 23, 2003
Genre: Yaoi, Angst, Sap, Romance
Pairings (more-or-less in chronological order): 5x2, 3x4 implied, 5xOC (het), 1+2+1
Rated: PG-13
Warnings: AU, OOC, Swearing, Angst
Archives: At Lev's Lair http://www.gwaddiction.com/levlair/ and at http://calic0cat.freeservers.com (my site) and at Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves.
Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said.
Notes: Post-series & post-EW. AC 199, everybody except Quatre is working for the Preventers.
'Thinking'
"Speaking"
************ Time passing or scene change
Author's Notes: Feedback is appreciated.
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"Fei? What is it?" Duo demanded anxiously. Seeing his lover pale and start shaking uncontrollably as the result of opening a letter was *seriously* disturbing.
"My clan - Meilan's clan - some of them are alive..." Wufei said in disbelief.
"Fei - that's wonderful news!" Duo exclaimed. Wufei had blamed himself for the loss of all those lives ever since the colony had chosen to self-destruct rather than be used against him. To find out that at least some of his clan - and that of his dead wife - were alive was incredible news. "Why'd they take so long to let you know?"
"They couldn't find me," Wufei answered distractedly, re-reading the letter. "The security that Heero set up for all five of us kept them from being able to verify I was even alive. Sending a letter to Preventers HQ addressed to me was a long-shot."
Looking up from the letter, Wufei said, "The surviving elders want me to meet with them. They've enclosed directions to set up the meeting if I actually received the letter."
Sensing some hesitance on Wufei's part, Duo asked gently, "Are you going to go?"
"I... I must. Honour and duty to my clan demands it," the Chinese youth answered.
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"NO!"
Duo winced, hurt by Wufei's vehement rejection of his offer. He had thought to support Wufei the same way that Wufei had supported him when he returned to L2 to lay his memories to rest.
"I'm sorry Duo," Wufei apologized quietly, rising to embrace him. "The elders have requested that I come alone to meet with them and I must honour that request. They undoubtedly have their reasons."
Duo willingly responded to Wufei's embrace, contentedly laying his head against Wufei's shoulder. "It's okay, Fei. I understand. Your honour's one of the things I love about you. I can't fault you for acting according to it."
"Thank you... I love you, Duo. Always..." Wufei answered before tilting Duo's head back and kissing him deeply, almost urgently. Something about the kiss and the lovemaking that followed disturbed Duo at the time, but he did not put a name to that additional element then. That came later - after finding out the *cause* of it. Only after finding out exactly why the elders had summoned Wufei did Duo understand why his passion had been tinged with desperation.
***
A shadow fell across Heero's desk. Without even looking, he knew who it was. He and Duo had been partners long enough that he could pick him out of a crowd blindfolded. And if Heero wished that they were more than partners, he knew that would never happen. He had been too slow in figuring out his deepening feelings for the first friend he'd ever had and best partner he could ever hope for. By the time he'd realized he loved Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei had already wooed him and won his heart. And Heero loved Duo too much to hope for the destruction of that happiness, even if that was the only way he would ever have his own.
Being Duo's best friend was enough. It had to be. Though it could be very, very difficult at times, listening to Duo's rapturous description of the romantic evening Wufei had planned or some other event in their lives together. At least Duo's conversation during this week-long mission had been focussed on his curiosity over exactly what was going on at Wufei's meeting with his clan elders. Duo had barely been able to stand waiting till they finished briefing Une on their mission before dashing off to find Wufei. Heero was actually surprised that he was back this soon. He'd expected to have the entire report typed up before Duo returned.
"I've got the first half of the report finished, Duo. Just grab it off the printer and check it over to see if I've left anything out," Heero said distractedly. The shadow didn't move. Heero looked up from his work. "Duo?"
One look told Heero something was terribly, horribly wrong. Jumping up from his desk, he crossed the room to close and lock the door and shut the blinds before turning back to his partner. Raking his eyes over Duo's white face and wide, fever-bright eyes, Heero reached out to stop Duo's frantic twisting of his braid. "Duo, what is it? What's wrong? Did something happen to Wufei?"
Duo choked out a half-laugh, half-sob. "Did something happen to Wufei?" he echoed. "Did something happen to Wufei?" His voice rose with each repetition, breaking as he started to laugh hysterically before choking the laughter off again with an obvious effort. "I guess you could say that, Heero."
Duo's suddenly unnaturally calm voice contrasted sharply with his wild-eyed expression. Heero didn't know what to say or do. 'If Wufei had been killed or seriously injured while we were gone, Une would have broken the news in private but made certain I or one of the others knew and was there,' he thought. So it couldn't be that. But whatever had happened, it had to be very, very bad. Duo was on a razor-thin edge right now. Heero did not think he had *ever* seen Duo this close to a complete breakdown. Not sure if he was doing the right thing, he coaxed gently, "Tell me."
"My lover got fucking *engaged* while I was gone, *that's* what happened, Heero," Duo spat out, swinging from near tears to enraged in an instant. "His fucking clan elders informed him that the sister of his dead wife had survived and it was his goddamned duty to marry her. And does my adoring lover tell them no, he's sorry, he doesn't swing that way and he's already *in* a committed relationship? Oh no, of course not, that would tarnish his goddamned bloody fucking *honour*!"
Duo's voice had risen as he spoke. He sprang across the office to snatch the large photo of himself and Wufei on their first day in their new house off his desk and fling it clear across the office to smash against the wall. Glass shattered and flew everywhere. Duo grabbed the next memento from his desk, a glass paperweight that Wufei had given him, and dashed it to the tile floor at his feet, smashing it as well, before crumpling to the floor himself, heedless of the glass shards being ground into his legs and hands.
Heero listened in growing horror as Duo spoke. This was quite possibly *worse* than if Wufei had been killed. If Wufei felt that his honour compelled him to go through with the marriage, he would do it, no matter the cost. And the cost to Duo would be high. Very, very high. Losing Wufei to death would have been terrible, but at least it would not have been Wufei's *choice* to leave Duo. Duo had suffered so many losses in his short life and had always managed to bounce back, injured but not broken. This loss - this loss might be the one that finally finished the job.
When Duo dropped to the floor in the midst of the shattered glass and started rocking back and forth, Heero sprang forward with a cry of protest. "Duo!" Scooping his partner off the floor, Heero deposited Duo in his own chair. "Fuck," he muttered at the amount of blood seeping through Duo's pants and slicking his palms. Glass shards glittered through the red liquid. Grabbing his phone, Heero punched in an extension. 'Come on, Trowa, pick up...' he urged silently.
"Hello?"
"Quatre? What are you - never mind. Is Trowa there?" Heero demanded. Quatre didn't work for Preventers, but at the moment Heero didn't care why he was there and answering Trowa's phone for him. He was just grateful to have another friend to fall back on. Duo was going to need all of them.
"Yes, just..."
"No, don't bother getting him. Just have him bring a first aid kit - the field use type - and come to my office immediately. You too. Do *NOT*, I repeat, do *NOT* bring Chang."
"What..."
"*NOW*, Quatre!" Heero snarled before slamming the phone back down.
Throughout Heero's conversation, Duo had simply sat and rocked, arms wrapped around himself, staring unseeingly across the room. He had flinched slightly at Heero's mention of Wufei, but no other reaction was visible.
"Duo?" Heero said gently, trying to pull Duo's hands away from him before he ground the glass in any deeper. "Duo... Don't. You're hurting yourself. Please - let me help you."
"Help me?" Duo whispered so softly Heero had to strain to hear him. "You can't help me, Heero... Nobody can... Fei *is* his honour - if he does this, I lose him; but if he refuses and tarnishes his honour, it'll destroy him, it'll destroy *us*, and I'll lose him anyway... No, Heero, you can't help me... Nobody can... I should've known better... I'm not allowed to keep anything, not allowed to be happy..." Duo averted his face, voice trailing off in a mixture of despair and resignation.
The rattling doorknob reminded Heero that he had locked the door. With a worried glance at Duo, he rose and hurried to the door, parting the mini-blinds over the glass to check who was there before opening it. Quatre and Trowa, and, thank god, no sign of Chang. Heero hoped Chang had the sense to *stay* away. Despite his understanding of what would drive the Chinese youth to abandon Duo and obey his clan elders, Heero wanted nothing more than to beat him to a bloody pulp at the moment. And that would definitely *not* help Duo in the slightest.
Opening the door, Heero admitted Quatre and Trowa to the office. Quatre made a distressed sound the instant he spotted Duo's huddled form and started towards him. Heero caught his elbow to restrain him while shoving the door shut and relocking it with his other hand. "Quatre, wait," he said in a warning tone.
Trowa turned to look at Heero as well. Glass crunched under his shoes as he moved, catching both his and Quatre's attention. "What the hell..." Trowa breathed softly, gazing around the office at the broken glass everywhere and the bent picture frame laying near his feet.
Heero took a steadying breath, then said flatly, "You may have heard that some of Chang's clan turned up alive." Nods from both other ex-pilots indicated their knowledge. "The elders have informed him that it is his duty to wed the sister of his dead wife. Honour demands that he obey their wishes. Duo was just informed of the engagement."
"Oh Allah," Quatre moaned in sympathy.
"He smashed the paperweight and collapsed on the shards," Heero said. "That is why I requested that you bring the first aid kit Trowa. He may require more treatment than that, but I am afraid that Sally would wish to hospitalize him and I do not think that would be wise at the moment." That was an understatement. Duo never reacted well to either hospitals or tranquillizers and Sally would most likely take one look at him and order both. She meant well, but she had never learned to make sufficient allowances for the unique backgrounds of either Duo or himself.
Duo barely reacted to the presence of any of them, even when Heero and Trowa began the slow process of removing slivers of glass from his hands. Quatre could not stand to watch for long and ended up taking Heero's office key and leaving in search of a dustpan and broom to clean up the worst of the glass before anyone else got hurt.
Throughout the entire process of removing the glass and cleaning and bandaging the cuts, Duo barely even flinched. 'It's like he's not even here,' Heero thought worriedly. 'He's retreated so far into himself that I don't think he's aware of anything that's going on around him.' Even slicing open Duo's pantlegs and cutting them off just above the knee in order to tend to his legs didn't draw a reaction from Duo.
"Sally will have our heads if she finds out about this," Trowa muttered, preparing to stitch up a particularly nasty gash near Duo's knee.
"And letting her see him like this would be better?" Heero answered grimly.
Trowa simply said, "Keep his leg steady," and tightened his jaw in response.
Trowa's caution was unnecessary. Only the tiniest of twitches passed through Duo's leg as Trowa closed the gash with neat, tiny stitches. By the time they finished bandaging his legs, however, Duo had started to shake.
"Shock," Trowa said grimly.
"No shit," Heero growled back. "Go find a blanket or something I can wrap him in to get him out of here."
Seeing that Quatre had finished cleaning up the worst of the glass, Heero ordered him, "Go get him a coffee from the pot. Decaffeinated but heavy on the cream and sugar."
Voice gentling again, Heero lifted Duo's chin and said, "Duo, where do you want to go? Do you want to go home?" Hell, he hoped not. It was well past quitting time and Chang would almost certainly be there. He didn't think Duo was ready to face his - lover? ex-lover? housemate? - and he *knew* that *he* wasn't.
"Home? Don't have a home..." Duo murmured quietly. "Not anymore... Can't go back there..."
Eyes narrowing, Heero asked, "Did Wufei tell you that?"
Duo shook his head silently before adding, "Too many memories... Can't go there... Hurts too much..."
"Alright," Heero said, forcing his anger on Duo's behalf down again. Duo had been so excited over building that house with Wufei. It wasn't fair that losing Wufei was going to cost him his dream house too. "Where would you like to go then?" No response.
Quatre had returned with the coffee and managed to coax Duo into swallowing a few mouthfuls. After it became clear that he wasn't going to get any more into Duo, he picked up Heero's line of questioning, asking, "Would you like to come home with me, Duo? I have plenty of room..."
Duo shook his head violently in response. Heero understood why. Duo and Wufei had lived at Quatre's while their house was being built. There would be too many memories there. "Then I guess you'll just have to put up with staying with me," Heero said firmly. He wasn't offering a choice. Trowa lived with Quatre, so unless Duo came home with him they would have to let someone else see the shape he was in and Heero didn't think that would be a wise decision at the moment.
Just then Trowa returned with a blanket and handed it to Heero. Heero wrapped it around Duo as he swept him up in his arms.
"Rashid is waiting out front," Trowa told Heero. "The car is already warmed up and you won't have to worry about driving."
Heero nodded in acknowledgement. His car had been sitting in the Preventers' underground parking garage all week and would be thoroughly chill and damp inside. "Let's go."
***
Wufei dropped his head into his hands as the door to his office very quietly snicked shut behind Duo. 'Oh god...' He had dreaded this day since the moment he had accepted his grim duty. Walking out of that meeting with the clan elders, he had half wished that he would be hit by a car or struck by a bolt of lightning. Something, *anything*, to avoid having to look the man he loved in the eyes and inform him that he was now engaged to wed someone else.
But nothing had happened and he had just had to very calmly inform his lover that he was abandoning him. That he was turning his back on their life together and obediently following his clan's wishes like the well-trained scion they had raised him to be. That he was turning his back on a life of love to take up one of duty. That... '*Enough!* You have *no choice*, Chang. You never *have*. Your life was laid out for you from the day that you were born and no amount of wishing is going to change that.'
A muffled crash and the distant tinkling of breaking glass brought Wufei out of his chair and sent him towards his door, only to jerk to a halt again. He *knew* what - or rather, *who* - was undoubtedly the cause of the sounds. But he had given up the right to comfort Duo when he had told him that it was over between them. His presence now could only make things even more painful for both of them. 'His partner will look after him. Yuy is Duo's best friend. He will help him get through this.'
Thinking of partners reminded Wufei that his own partner was due back at their office soon. He was in no condition to face anyone right now. A single smart-ass comment from Zechs would be all it would take to snap the frail thread of self-control he had left. Wufei gathered up his jacket and was out the door, just in time to see Quatre and Trowa vanishing into Heero and Duo's office. 'A first aid kit? Oh god, Duo... I'm sorry, love. So very, very sorry...'
***
Brow furrowed in concern, Heero laid another blanket over Duo's huddled form. Duo hadn't spoken since they left Preventers HQ several hours ago. Heero had managed to get a few spoonfuls of soup and a few mouthfuls of hot chocolate down him, but that was it. And although Duo was curled up tightly on the bed, he wasn't sleeping. His eyes were wide open, staring at nothing.
The sound of a key in his door drew Heero's attention and he slipped quietly from the room. No doubt that was Trowa and Quatre, back from retrieving at least some of Duo's belongings from the house.
"Where's Quatre?" he asked in surprise as Trowa entered alone, laden with a suitcase and a box full of music CDs and so on.
"He stayed there," Trowa answered. "Wufei's a mess, though nowhere near as bad as Duo is," he sighed. "Quatre is going to check out your suggestion, but I doubt that it will do any good."
"I know. But it's all I can think of," Heero said. Knowing that he would himself be unable to face Wufei without decking him, Heero had suggested that Quatre find out whether the marriage agreement was verbal only or in writing and what the exact wording was. Maybe - just maybe - there would be a loophole somewhere that would allow Wufei a way out of the marriage with his honour intact. But he doubted it. The Long clan was well known for its scholars - including those specializing in law - as well as its warriors.
***
"Quatre, it's no use. There will not be any loopholes. Honour demands that I fulfill the marriage agreement and obey the clan elders' wishes. It is as simple as that," Wufei stated, fighting to keep his voice level. 'Do you not think that I have not already considered this, Quatre?! If there were a way out of this with my family's honour intact, I would have taken it in a heartbeat!'
He had certainly looked for a way. Initially, Wufei had simply refused the elders' request that he wed Long Jun. He had pointed out - with a degree of calm that surprised himself - that he had fulfilled the agreement in marrying Meilan all those years ago. His obligation died with her as far as he was concerned.
Wrong. The elders had produced the actual agreement and showed him where it quite clearly stated that he was to wed "the heir to the Long clan" - *not* specifically Meilan - and that the union was to produce an heir to both families. They had then gone on to point out that, had he done his duty at the time and produced an heir despite his and Meilan's youth, he *would* have been free of the agreement upon Meilan's death. Without an heir, however, the agreement simply passed to the next "heir to the Long clan" and he was required to marry *her*.
Wufei had argued and debated the issue with them for hours, calling on every bit of scholarly learning that he had. In return, he had been reminded that his entire education had been provided in preparation for his role as husband to the Long clan heir. That by not producing an heir with Meilan he had already failed in his duty once. That he had also failed by resisting his role as a Gundam pilot and that that failure had led to Meilan's death. That the colony had self-destructed because of him and that he owed the clan a debt for the deaths of those who died with it. That he had already tarnished the honour of the Chang family with those failures and that the only way to restore it was to do his duty now by honouring the marriage agreement.
In the end, he had been forced to admit defeat. There was no way out. He would have to honour the agreement and marry Long Jun. Whatever the cost to himself and to Duo.
"Wufei... Wufei!"
Abruptly recalled to the present, Wufei snapped sharply, "Leave it be, Quatre! You cannot fix everything. You will simply have to accept that this is one of those things that you cannot. Duo is strong. With the help of you and his other friends, he will recover from this as he has from his other losses."
"Will he, Wufei? Are you certain of that?" Quatre asked softly.
'God, Quatre, I hope so...' Wufei thought painfully. He was far from certain that Duo would bounce back so easily. Remembering the way that those expressive blue-violet eyes had gone from excited curiosity to shocked disbelief and finally to betrayed pain, Wufei very much feared that he had dealt the final blow to Duo's indomitable spirit. Aloud, however, he only said, "Of course he will, Quatre. Duo is too strong to allow a lover's betrayal to keep him down for long."
Quatre shook his head slightly, clearly no more convinced by Wufei's words than Wufei himself was. "And what of you, Wufei? Who will be there to help you?"
Wufei's breath caught painfully at the question. Gruffly, he growled out, "No one, Quatre. I do not require any help. I am doing my duty and upholding my family's honour. That will be sufficient." It would have to be because it was all he would ever have. The only "help" he wanted or needed came in the form of a loving, cheerful youth with expressive violet eyes and a glorious cascade of chestnut silk hair. And that was someone that he no longer had any right to.
***
"Despite Wufei's objections that it was useless, I've sent a copy of the written marriage agreement to five different lawyers now and not one of them has managed to find a loophole in it. Chang Wufei - named together with a full listing of his lineage reaching back generations - is to marry the heir to the Long clan. Their child is to be heir to both families. Should one or both of them die before producing an heir, the families remain separate but what happens depends on who dies. As Wufei is mentioned by name, his death would cancel the agreement. The death of Meilan, however, merely meant that the agreement passed to the new heir. They have covered virtually every possible contingency." Quatre rubbed his eyes wearily and sighed, "There's no way out of it other than Wufei refusing to honour the agreement."
"Shit," Heero swore. "What if the sister refuses to go through with it?"
"Unlikely," Quatre said, shaking his head. "And even if she did, that would automatically pass both the position of heir and the obligation to the next in line."
"Fuck."
Trowa stirred and raised his head to say quietly, "There is no way out for them, then, is there."
There was no response to that statement. All three of them knew too well the value Wufei placed on his family's honour.
Heero slumped in his chair. They were all out of ideas. Nothing more could be done. Tomorrow morning, Chang Wufei would leave the Preventers to join the Long clan on its new, still-under-construction colony and by the end of the month he would be married to Long Jun. And two lives - no, three, as Heero could not see how a husband in love with someone else would be a good thing for Jun - would be ruined because of a bunch of tradition-bound old fools and a thick-skulled idiot who couldn't seem to see that his own personal honour had nothing to do with an agreement signed by his parents when he was a mere infant and *everything* to do with standing up for the commitment that he himself had made in wooing and winning the man he loved.
It wasn't as if they hadn't tried to convince Wufei. All three of them had tried at some point over the past few days. Heero had very nearly come to blows with him over it. Only the realization that Wufei would not fight back - would, in fact, *welcome* being beaten to a pulp over this - had stopped him.
Instead, Heero had stepped back, looked Wufei straight in the eye, and let his own feelings for Duo show through as he told him, "You're a fool, Chang. An idiotic fool. You have the most precious thing in the world, the one thing I would give *anything* to possess, and you're going to let him go because of a stupid piece of paper, an agreement that you had no part in making."
Seeing the dawning comprehension in Wufei's eyes, Heero nodded grimly in acknowledgement before continuing in a fierce tone, "Had I ever had the slightest notion that you would do this to him, I would have fought tooth and nail to steal him from you when I first realized I loved him. But he was happy, genuinely, truly happy, in a way that I had never seen him before and I would never have taken that away from him. He's lost too much in his life as it is. His strength in coming through those losses as the wonderful, caring, generous person he is will never cease to amaze me. I just hope he has enough of that strength left to handle this loss too." With that, Heero turned to leave Wufei's office, then turned back for a moment and threw a vid-disk on his desk. "Before you go running off to your 'honourable' new life, I suggest you take a look at that. Take a look and see the cost of your 'honour'."
It had been a last-ditch effort. Heero had left a camera recording while first he, then Quatre, coaxed an almost completely unresponsive Duo into eating a few bites of food or swallowing a bit of a protein drink. While they had brushed and braided his hair and changed his clothes and tried to get him to talk to them. While Duo simply lay curled up on the bed or sat huddled in a blanket and stared blankly into space. But it hadn't worked. Whether Wufei had not watched the disk or whether it had simply not been enough to change his mind, Heero did not know. It did not really matter. Either way, he had failed. Failed to protect Duo's happiness. And Duo...
Duo had lost yet another person he had dared to love.
***
Wufei closed and sealed the last box of belongings and placed it with the others. The shipping company would be there to pick them up soon. He looked around the room one last time, checking for anything that he had overlooked, but there was nothing. Nothing that he dared take with him, that is. The photos in the face-down frames were still too painful to look at and he could not be certain of keeping something like that out of sight of his soon-to-be wife. To subject her to indisputable evidence that his heart lay elsewhere would be exceedingly unjust. This situation was no more *her* fault than his own. Their fates had been sealed long before they were old enough to comprehend what the word "marriage" even meant.
The vid-disk on the table drew his gaze yet again. He had not dared watch it. He could not afford to weaken his resolve any further. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know just what was on it that could make Heero speak of honour in such a disparaging fashion. Particularly after finding out that Heero had been in love with Duo all this time but had kept his silence rather than risk damaging the happiness Duo had already found. Heero was a man of honour himself. For him to have spoken of it in such a derogatory manner... 'Whatever it is, it has to be bad...' Wufei thought, staring at the accusing disk.
Reaching an abrupt decision, Wufei rose and picked up the vid-disk. He could not carry it with him any more than he could carry the photos. But - perhaps there was a way to keep a few reminders where he could view them when the longing became too great. And while this would certainly not be a *good* reminder, it would perhaps be an important one. Should he begin to feel sorry for his own losses, watching the disk might remind him that he was not the only one to pay the price. It would perhaps serve to increase his resolve to fulfill his duty rather than allow Duo's pain to have been for nothing.
Powering up his laptop, Wufei began selecting files. Photos and short video clips. Email messages. A copy of the contents of the mysterious vid-disk. His hacking skills were no match for Yuy's, but he could easily manage to hide some personal files on the net in such a way that only he could access them. He could not give up *all* of his mementos of Duo. Surely the pain would eventually fade to a level where he could remember the good times fondly without drowning in sorrow. It *had* to.
***
"Thank you, Quatre," Heero said quietly. "I will tell him. Goodbye."
"He did it, didn't he."
Heero turned sharply from the now-dark vid-phone. He could barely believe that flat, dull voice, harsh from disuse, belonged to Duo. Meeting Duo's shadowed eyes, Heero said simply, "As of 0900 this morning, Chang Wufei and Long Jun are married. Quatre and Trowa attended the wedding in case Chang came to his senses and needed their support, but he did not."
Duo closed his eyes and swallowed convulsively.
"I'm sorry, Duo," Heero said unhappily. "We tried everything we could think of."
Duo shook his head slightly as he choked out, "It's not your fault, 'Ro. I *knew* Fei's honour was the most important thing in the world to him. I *knew* that. And I fell in love with him anyway. Hell, I was even dumb enough that his honour was one of the things that *made* me fall in love with him.
"It's my own damn fault. I should know better by now. I'm not supposed to be loved. Not supposed to be happy. Not supposed to get to *keep* anyone or anything. Not supposed to have a damn *home*." Duo laughed bitterly, "Y'know what the best part is, Heero? Today would've been our second anniversary as a couple. Happy fuckin' anniversary to me."
Heero stepped forward and pulled Duo into a tight hug, heart aching at his inability to do anything to fix this. Duo allowed the hug but did not relax into it or hug back, something that set off a definite warning in Heero's mind. Duo had been withdrawn and silent, but he had never shed a single tear in the entire time since finding out that Wufei was leaving him. And now he was eerily calm and cool. The whole thing had Heero worried. Very worried.
And Heero was even more worried when the very next day Duo calmly informed Une that he was "done acting like a melodramatic, lovesick teenager and ready to return to duty". But that didn't mean he could do a damn thing to stop it. Heero was afraid that if he tried, Duo would simply request a change of partners and then Heero would not be there to watch his back and prevent what he was all too certain would happen. He knew the signs all too well. Duo was looking for an excuse to self-destruct.
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Title: #1 - Payment Demanded
Part: 1/2
Series: The Cost of Honour Trilogy
Author: Calic0cat <calic0cat@fastmail.fm>
Story Started: Feb. 2, 2003
Story Finished: April 23, 2003
Genre: Yaoi, Angst, Sap, Romance
Pairings (more-or-less in chronological order): 5x2, 3x4 implied, 5xOC (het), 1+2+1
Rated: PG-13
Warnings: AU, OOC, Swearing, Angst
Archives: At Lev's Lair http://www.gwaddiction.com/levlair/ and at http://calic0cat.freeservers.com (my site) and at Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves.
Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said.
Notes: Post-series & post-EW. AC 199, everybody except Quatre is working for the Preventers.
'Thinking'
"Speaking"
************ Time passing or scene change
Author's Notes: Feedback is appreciated.
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"Fei? What is it?" Duo demanded anxiously. Seeing his lover pale and start shaking uncontrollably as the result of opening a letter was *seriously* disturbing.
"My clan - Meilan's clan - some of them are alive..." Wufei said in disbelief.
"Fei - that's wonderful news!" Duo exclaimed. Wufei had blamed himself for the loss of all those lives ever since the colony had chosen to self-destruct rather than be used against him. To find out that at least some of his clan - and that of his dead wife - were alive was incredible news. "Why'd they take so long to let you know?"
"They couldn't find me," Wufei answered distractedly, re-reading the letter. "The security that Heero set up for all five of us kept them from being able to verify I was even alive. Sending a letter to Preventers HQ addressed to me was a long-shot."
Looking up from the letter, Wufei said, "The surviving elders want me to meet with them. They've enclosed directions to set up the meeting if I actually received the letter."
Sensing some hesitance on Wufei's part, Duo asked gently, "Are you going to go?"
"I... I must. Honour and duty to my clan demands it," the Chinese youth answered.
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"NO!"
Duo winced, hurt by Wufei's vehement rejection of his offer. He had thought to support Wufei the same way that Wufei had supported him when he returned to L2 to lay his memories to rest.
"I'm sorry Duo," Wufei apologized quietly, rising to embrace him. "The elders have requested that I come alone to meet with them and I must honour that request. They undoubtedly have their reasons."
Duo willingly responded to Wufei's embrace, contentedly laying his head against Wufei's shoulder. "It's okay, Fei. I understand. Your honour's one of the things I love about you. I can't fault you for acting according to it."
"Thank you... I love you, Duo. Always..." Wufei answered before tilting Duo's head back and kissing him deeply, almost urgently. Something about the kiss and the lovemaking that followed disturbed Duo at the time, but he did not put a name to that additional element then. That came later - after finding out the *cause* of it. Only after finding out exactly why the elders had summoned Wufei did Duo understand why his passion had been tinged with desperation.
***
A shadow fell across Heero's desk. Without even looking, he knew who it was. He and Duo had been partners long enough that he could pick him out of a crowd blindfolded. And if Heero wished that they were more than partners, he knew that would never happen. He had been too slow in figuring out his deepening feelings for the first friend he'd ever had and best partner he could ever hope for. By the time he'd realized he loved Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei had already wooed him and won his heart. And Heero loved Duo too much to hope for the destruction of that happiness, even if that was the only way he would ever have his own.
Being Duo's best friend was enough. It had to be. Though it could be very, very difficult at times, listening to Duo's rapturous description of the romantic evening Wufei had planned or some other event in their lives together. At least Duo's conversation during this week-long mission had been focussed on his curiosity over exactly what was going on at Wufei's meeting with his clan elders. Duo had barely been able to stand waiting till they finished briefing Une on their mission before dashing off to find Wufei. Heero was actually surprised that he was back this soon. He'd expected to have the entire report typed up before Duo returned.
"I've got the first half of the report finished, Duo. Just grab it off the printer and check it over to see if I've left anything out," Heero said distractedly. The shadow didn't move. Heero looked up from his work. "Duo?"
One look told Heero something was terribly, horribly wrong. Jumping up from his desk, he crossed the room to close and lock the door and shut the blinds before turning back to his partner. Raking his eyes over Duo's white face and wide, fever-bright eyes, Heero reached out to stop Duo's frantic twisting of his braid. "Duo, what is it? What's wrong? Did something happen to Wufei?"
Duo choked out a half-laugh, half-sob. "Did something happen to Wufei?" he echoed. "Did something happen to Wufei?" His voice rose with each repetition, breaking as he started to laugh hysterically before choking the laughter off again with an obvious effort. "I guess you could say that, Heero."
Duo's suddenly unnaturally calm voice contrasted sharply with his wild-eyed expression. Heero didn't know what to say or do. 'If Wufei had been killed or seriously injured while we were gone, Une would have broken the news in private but made certain I or one of the others knew and was there,' he thought. So it couldn't be that. But whatever had happened, it had to be very, very bad. Duo was on a razor-thin edge right now. Heero did not think he had *ever* seen Duo this close to a complete breakdown. Not sure if he was doing the right thing, he coaxed gently, "Tell me."
"My lover got fucking *engaged* while I was gone, *that's* what happened, Heero," Duo spat out, swinging from near tears to enraged in an instant. "His fucking clan elders informed him that the sister of his dead wife had survived and it was his goddamned duty to marry her. And does my adoring lover tell them no, he's sorry, he doesn't swing that way and he's already *in* a committed relationship? Oh no, of course not, that would tarnish his goddamned bloody fucking *honour*!"
Duo's voice had risen as he spoke. He sprang across the office to snatch the large photo of himself and Wufei on their first day in their new house off his desk and fling it clear across the office to smash against the wall. Glass shattered and flew everywhere. Duo grabbed the next memento from his desk, a glass paperweight that Wufei had given him, and dashed it to the tile floor at his feet, smashing it as well, before crumpling to the floor himself, heedless of the glass shards being ground into his legs and hands.
Heero listened in growing horror as Duo spoke. This was quite possibly *worse* than if Wufei had been killed. If Wufei felt that his honour compelled him to go through with the marriage, he would do it, no matter the cost. And the cost to Duo would be high. Very, very high. Losing Wufei to death would have been terrible, but at least it would not have been Wufei's *choice* to leave Duo. Duo had suffered so many losses in his short life and had always managed to bounce back, injured but not broken. This loss - this loss might be the one that finally finished the job.
When Duo dropped to the floor in the midst of the shattered glass and started rocking back and forth, Heero sprang forward with a cry of protest. "Duo!" Scooping his partner off the floor, Heero deposited Duo in his own chair. "Fuck," he muttered at the amount of blood seeping through Duo's pants and slicking his palms. Glass shards glittered through the red liquid. Grabbing his phone, Heero punched in an extension. 'Come on, Trowa, pick up...' he urged silently.
"Hello?"
"Quatre? What are you - never mind. Is Trowa there?" Heero demanded. Quatre didn't work for Preventers, but at the moment Heero didn't care why he was there and answering Trowa's phone for him. He was just grateful to have another friend to fall back on. Duo was going to need all of them.
"Yes, just..."
"No, don't bother getting him. Just have him bring a first aid kit - the field use type - and come to my office immediately. You too. Do *NOT*, I repeat, do *NOT* bring Chang."
"What..."
"*NOW*, Quatre!" Heero snarled before slamming the phone back down.
Throughout Heero's conversation, Duo had simply sat and rocked, arms wrapped around himself, staring unseeingly across the room. He had flinched slightly at Heero's mention of Wufei, but no other reaction was visible.
"Duo?" Heero said gently, trying to pull Duo's hands away from him before he ground the glass in any deeper. "Duo... Don't. You're hurting yourself. Please - let me help you."
"Help me?" Duo whispered so softly Heero had to strain to hear him. "You can't help me, Heero... Nobody can... Fei *is* his honour - if he does this, I lose him; but if he refuses and tarnishes his honour, it'll destroy him, it'll destroy *us*, and I'll lose him anyway... No, Heero, you can't help me... Nobody can... I should've known better... I'm not allowed to keep anything, not allowed to be happy..." Duo averted his face, voice trailing off in a mixture of despair and resignation.
The rattling doorknob reminded Heero that he had locked the door. With a worried glance at Duo, he rose and hurried to the door, parting the mini-blinds over the glass to check who was there before opening it. Quatre and Trowa, and, thank god, no sign of Chang. Heero hoped Chang had the sense to *stay* away. Despite his understanding of what would drive the Chinese youth to abandon Duo and obey his clan elders, Heero wanted nothing more than to beat him to a bloody pulp at the moment. And that would definitely *not* help Duo in the slightest.
Opening the door, Heero admitted Quatre and Trowa to the office. Quatre made a distressed sound the instant he spotted Duo's huddled form and started towards him. Heero caught his elbow to restrain him while shoving the door shut and relocking it with his other hand. "Quatre, wait," he said in a warning tone.
Trowa turned to look at Heero as well. Glass crunched under his shoes as he moved, catching both his and Quatre's attention. "What the hell..." Trowa breathed softly, gazing around the office at the broken glass everywhere and the bent picture frame laying near his feet.
Heero took a steadying breath, then said flatly, "You may have heard that some of Chang's clan turned up alive." Nods from both other ex-pilots indicated their knowledge. "The elders have informed him that it is his duty to wed the sister of his dead wife. Honour demands that he obey their wishes. Duo was just informed of the engagement."
"Oh Allah," Quatre moaned in sympathy.
"He smashed the paperweight and collapsed on the shards," Heero said. "That is why I requested that you bring the first aid kit Trowa. He may require more treatment than that, but I am afraid that Sally would wish to hospitalize him and I do not think that would be wise at the moment." That was an understatement. Duo never reacted well to either hospitals or tranquillizers and Sally would most likely take one look at him and order both. She meant well, but she had never learned to make sufficient allowances for the unique backgrounds of either Duo or himself.
Duo barely reacted to the presence of any of them, even when Heero and Trowa began the slow process of removing slivers of glass from his hands. Quatre could not stand to watch for long and ended up taking Heero's office key and leaving in search of a dustpan and broom to clean up the worst of the glass before anyone else got hurt.
Throughout the entire process of removing the glass and cleaning and bandaging the cuts, Duo barely even flinched. 'It's like he's not even here,' Heero thought worriedly. 'He's retreated so far into himself that I don't think he's aware of anything that's going on around him.' Even slicing open Duo's pantlegs and cutting them off just above the knee in order to tend to his legs didn't draw a reaction from Duo.
"Sally will have our heads if she finds out about this," Trowa muttered, preparing to stitch up a particularly nasty gash near Duo's knee.
"And letting her see him like this would be better?" Heero answered grimly.
Trowa simply said, "Keep his leg steady," and tightened his jaw in response.
Trowa's caution was unnecessary. Only the tiniest of twitches passed through Duo's leg as Trowa closed the gash with neat, tiny stitches. By the time they finished bandaging his legs, however, Duo had started to shake.
"Shock," Trowa said grimly.
"No shit," Heero growled back. "Go find a blanket or something I can wrap him in to get him out of here."
Seeing that Quatre had finished cleaning up the worst of the glass, Heero ordered him, "Go get him a coffee from the pot. Decaffeinated but heavy on the cream and sugar."
Voice gentling again, Heero lifted Duo's chin and said, "Duo, where do you want to go? Do you want to go home?" Hell, he hoped not. It was well past quitting time and Chang would almost certainly be there. He didn't think Duo was ready to face his - lover? ex-lover? housemate? - and he *knew* that *he* wasn't.
"Home? Don't have a home..." Duo murmured quietly. "Not anymore... Can't go back there..."
Eyes narrowing, Heero asked, "Did Wufei tell you that?"
Duo shook his head silently before adding, "Too many memories... Can't go there... Hurts too much..."
"Alright," Heero said, forcing his anger on Duo's behalf down again. Duo had been so excited over building that house with Wufei. It wasn't fair that losing Wufei was going to cost him his dream house too. "Where would you like to go then?" No response.
Quatre had returned with the coffee and managed to coax Duo into swallowing a few mouthfuls. After it became clear that he wasn't going to get any more into Duo, he picked up Heero's line of questioning, asking, "Would you like to come home with me, Duo? I have plenty of room..."
Duo shook his head violently in response. Heero understood why. Duo and Wufei had lived at Quatre's while their house was being built. There would be too many memories there. "Then I guess you'll just have to put up with staying with me," Heero said firmly. He wasn't offering a choice. Trowa lived with Quatre, so unless Duo came home with him they would have to let someone else see the shape he was in and Heero didn't think that would be a wise decision at the moment.
Just then Trowa returned with a blanket and handed it to Heero. Heero wrapped it around Duo as he swept him up in his arms.
"Rashid is waiting out front," Trowa told Heero. "The car is already warmed up and you won't have to worry about driving."
Heero nodded in acknowledgement. His car had been sitting in the Preventers' underground parking garage all week and would be thoroughly chill and damp inside. "Let's go."
***
Wufei dropped his head into his hands as the door to his office very quietly snicked shut behind Duo. 'Oh god...' He had dreaded this day since the moment he had accepted his grim duty. Walking out of that meeting with the clan elders, he had half wished that he would be hit by a car or struck by a bolt of lightning. Something, *anything*, to avoid having to look the man he loved in the eyes and inform him that he was now engaged to wed someone else.
But nothing had happened and he had just had to very calmly inform his lover that he was abandoning him. That he was turning his back on their life together and obediently following his clan's wishes like the well-trained scion they had raised him to be. That he was turning his back on a life of love to take up one of duty. That... '*Enough!* You have *no choice*, Chang. You never *have*. Your life was laid out for you from the day that you were born and no amount of wishing is going to change that.'
A muffled crash and the distant tinkling of breaking glass brought Wufei out of his chair and sent him towards his door, only to jerk to a halt again. He *knew* what - or rather, *who* - was undoubtedly the cause of the sounds. But he had given up the right to comfort Duo when he had told him that it was over between them. His presence now could only make things even more painful for both of them. 'His partner will look after him. Yuy is Duo's best friend. He will help him get through this.'
Thinking of partners reminded Wufei that his own partner was due back at their office soon. He was in no condition to face anyone right now. A single smart-ass comment from Zechs would be all it would take to snap the frail thread of self-control he had left. Wufei gathered up his jacket and was out the door, just in time to see Quatre and Trowa vanishing into Heero and Duo's office. 'A first aid kit? Oh god, Duo... I'm sorry, love. So very, very sorry...'
***
Brow furrowed in concern, Heero laid another blanket over Duo's huddled form. Duo hadn't spoken since they left Preventers HQ several hours ago. Heero had managed to get a few spoonfuls of soup and a few mouthfuls of hot chocolate down him, but that was it. And although Duo was curled up tightly on the bed, he wasn't sleeping. His eyes were wide open, staring at nothing.
The sound of a key in his door drew Heero's attention and he slipped quietly from the room. No doubt that was Trowa and Quatre, back from retrieving at least some of Duo's belongings from the house.
"Where's Quatre?" he asked in surprise as Trowa entered alone, laden with a suitcase and a box full of music CDs and so on.
"He stayed there," Trowa answered. "Wufei's a mess, though nowhere near as bad as Duo is," he sighed. "Quatre is going to check out your suggestion, but I doubt that it will do any good."
"I know. But it's all I can think of," Heero said. Knowing that he would himself be unable to face Wufei without decking him, Heero had suggested that Quatre find out whether the marriage agreement was verbal only or in writing and what the exact wording was. Maybe - just maybe - there would be a loophole somewhere that would allow Wufei a way out of the marriage with his honour intact. But he doubted it. The Long clan was well known for its scholars - including those specializing in law - as well as its warriors.
***
"Quatre, it's no use. There will not be any loopholes. Honour demands that I fulfill the marriage agreement and obey the clan elders' wishes. It is as simple as that," Wufei stated, fighting to keep his voice level. 'Do you not think that I have not already considered this, Quatre?! If there were a way out of this with my family's honour intact, I would have taken it in a heartbeat!'
He had certainly looked for a way. Initially, Wufei had simply refused the elders' request that he wed Long Jun. He had pointed out - with a degree of calm that surprised himself - that he had fulfilled the agreement in marrying Meilan all those years ago. His obligation died with her as far as he was concerned.
Wrong. The elders had produced the actual agreement and showed him where it quite clearly stated that he was to wed "the heir to the Long clan" - *not* specifically Meilan - and that the union was to produce an heir to both families. They had then gone on to point out that, had he done his duty at the time and produced an heir despite his and Meilan's youth, he *would* have been free of the agreement upon Meilan's death. Without an heir, however, the agreement simply passed to the next "heir to the Long clan" and he was required to marry *her*.
Wufei had argued and debated the issue with them for hours, calling on every bit of scholarly learning that he had. In return, he had been reminded that his entire education had been provided in preparation for his role as husband to the Long clan heir. That by not producing an heir with Meilan he had already failed in his duty once. That he had also failed by resisting his role as a Gundam pilot and that that failure had led to Meilan's death. That the colony had self-destructed because of him and that he owed the clan a debt for the deaths of those who died with it. That he had already tarnished the honour of the Chang family with those failures and that the only way to restore it was to do his duty now by honouring the marriage agreement.
In the end, he had been forced to admit defeat. There was no way out. He would have to honour the agreement and marry Long Jun. Whatever the cost to himself and to Duo.
"Wufei... Wufei!"
Abruptly recalled to the present, Wufei snapped sharply, "Leave it be, Quatre! You cannot fix everything. You will simply have to accept that this is one of those things that you cannot. Duo is strong. With the help of you and his other friends, he will recover from this as he has from his other losses."
"Will he, Wufei? Are you certain of that?" Quatre asked softly.
'God, Quatre, I hope so...' Wufei thought painfully. He was far from certain that Duo would bounce back so easily. Remembering the way that those expressive blue-violet eyes had gone from excited curiosity to shocked disbelief and finally to betrayed pain, Wufei very much feared that he had dealt the final blow to Duo's indomitable spirit. Aloud, however, he only said, "Of course he will, Quatre. Duo is too strong to allow a lover's betrayal to keep him down for long."
Quatre shook his head slightly, clearly no more convinced by Wufei's words than Wufei himself was. "And what of you, Wufei? Who will be there to help you?"
Wufei's breath caught painfully at the question. Gruffly, he growled out, "No one, Quatre. I do not require any help. I am doing my duty and upholding my family's honour. That will be sufficient." It would have to be because it was all he would ever have. The only "help" he wanted or needed came in the form of a loving, cheerful youth with expressive violet eyes and a glorious cascade of chestnut silk hair. And that was someone that he no longer had any right to.
***
"Despite Wufei's objections that it was useless, I've sent a copy of the written marriage agreement to five different lawyers now and not one of them has managed to find a loophole in it. Chang Wufei - named together with a full listing of his lineage reaching back generations - is to marry the heir to the Long clan. Their child is to be heir to both families. Should one or both of them die before producing an heir, the families remain separate but what happens depends on who dies. As Wufei is mentioned by name, his death would cancel the agreement. The death of Meilan, however, merely meant that the agreement passed to the new heir. They have covered virtually every possible contingency." Quatre rubbed his eyes wearily and sighed, "There's no way out of it other than Wufei refusing to honour the agreement."
"Shit," Heero swore. "What if the sister refuses to go through with it?"
"Unlikely," Quatre said, shaking his head. "And even if she did, that would automatically pass both the position of heir and the obligation to the next in line."
"Fuck."
Trowa stirred and raised his head to say quietly, "There is no way out for them, then, is there."
There was no response to that statement. All three of them knew too well the value Wufei placed on his family's honour.
Heero slumped in his chair. They were all out of ideas. Nothing more could be done. Tomorrow morning, Chang Wufei would leave the Preventers to join the Long clan on its new, still-under-construction colony and by the end of the month he would be married to Long Jun. And two lives - no, three, as Heero could not see how a husband in love with someone else would be a good thing for Jun - would be ruined because of a bunch of tradition-bound old fools and a thick-skulled idiot who couldn't seem to see that his own personal honour had nothing to do with an agreement signed by his parents when he was a mere infant and *everything* to do with standing up for the commitment that he himself had made in wooing and winning the man he loved.
It wasn't as if they hadn't tried to convince Wufei. All three of them had tried at some point over the past few days. Heero had very nearly come to blows with him over it. Only the realization that Wufei would not fight back - would, in fact, *welcome* being beaten to a pulp over this - had stopped him.
Instead, Heero had stepped back, looked Wufei straight in the eye, and let his own feelings for Duo show through as he told him, "You're a fool, Chang. An idiotic fool. You have the most precious thing in the world, the one thing I would give *anything* to possess, and you're going to let him go because of a stupid piece of paper, an agreement that you had no part in making."
Seeing the dawning comprehension in Wufei's eyes, Heero nodded grimly in acknowledgement before continuing in a fierce tone, "Had I ever had the slightest notion that you would do this to him, I would have fought tooth and nail to steal him from you when I first realized I loved him. But he was happy, genuinely, truly happy, in a way that I had never seen him before and I would never have taken that away from him. He's lost too much in his life as it is. His strength in coming through those losses as the wonderful, caring, generous person he is will never cease to amaze me. I just hope he has enough of that strength left to handle this loss too." With that, Heero turned to leave Wufei's office, then turned back for a moment and threw a vid-disk on his desk. "Before you go running off to your 'honourable' new life, I suggest you take a look at that. Take a look and see the cost of your 'honour'."
It had been a last-ditch effort. Heero had left a camera recording while first he, then Quatre, coaxed an almost completely unresponsive Duo into eating a few bites of food or swallowing a bit of a protein drink. While they had brushed and braided his hair and changed his clothes and tried to get him to talk to them. While Duo simply lay curled up on the bed or sat huddled in a blanket and stared blankly into space. But it hadn't worked. Whether Wufei had not watched the disk or whether it had simply not been enough to change his mind, Heero did not know. It did not really matter. Either way, he had failed. Failed to protect Duo's happiness. And Duo...
Duo had lost yet another person he had dared to love.
***
Wufei closed and sealed the last box of belongings and placed it with the others. The shipping company would be there to pick them up soon. He looked around the room one last time, checking for anything that he had overlooked, but there was nothing. Nothing that he dared take with him, that is. The photos in the face-down frames were still too painful to look at and he could not be certain of keeping something like that out of sight of his soon-to-be wife. To subject her to indisputable evidence that his heart lay elsewhere would be exceedingly unjust. This situation was no more *her* fault than his own. Their fates had been sealed long before they were old enough to comprehend what the word "marriage" even meant.
The vid-disk on the table drew his gaze yet again. He had not dared watch it. He could not afford to weaken his resolve any further. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know just what was on it that could make Heero speak of honour in such a disparaging fashion. Particularly after finding out that Heero had been in love with Duo all this time but had kept his silence rather than risk damaging the happiness Duo had already found. Heero was a man of honour himself. For him to have spoken of it in such a derogatory manner... 'Whatever it is, it has to be bad...' Wufei thought, staring at the accusing disk.
Reaching an abrupt decision, Wufei rose and picked up the vid-disk. He could not carry it with him any more than he could carry the photos. But - perhaps there was a way to keep a few reminders where he could view them when the longing became too great. And while this would certainly not be a *good* reminder, it would perhaps be an important one. Should he begin to feel sorry for his own losses, watching the disk might remind him that he was not the only one to pay the price. It would perhaps serve to increase his resolve to fulfill his duty rather than allow Duo's pain to have been for nothing.
Powering up his laptop, Wufei began selecting files. Photos and short video clips. Email messages. A copy of the contents of the mysterious vid-disk. His hacking skills were no match for Yuy's, but he could easily manage to hide some personal files on the net in such a way that only he could access them. He could not give up *all* of his mementos of Duo. Surely the pain would eventually fade to a level where he could remember the good times fondly without drowning in sorrow. It *had* to.
***
"Thank you, Quatre," Heero said quietly. "I will tell him. Goodbye."
"He did it, didn't he."
Heero turned sharply from the now-dark vid-phone. He could barely believe that flat, dull voice, harsh from disuse, belonged to Duo. Meeting Duo's shadowed eyes, Heero said simply, "As of 0900 this morning, Chang Wufei and Long Jun are married. Quatre and Trowa attended the wedding in case Chang came to his senses and needed their support, but he did not."
Duo closed his eyes and swallowed convulsively.
"I'm sorry, Duo," Heero said unhappily. "We tried everything we could think of."
Duo shook his head slightly as he choked out, "It's not your fault, 'Ro. I *knew* Fei's honour was the most important thing in the world to him. I *knew* that. And I fell in love with him anyway. Hell, I was even dumb enough that his honour was one of the things that *made* me fall in love with him.
"It's my own damn fault. I should know better by now. I'm not supposed to be loved. Not supposed to be happy. Not supposed to get to *keep* anyone or anything. Not supposed to have a damn *home*." Duo laughed bitterly, "Y'know what the best part is, Heero? Today would've been our second anniversary as a couple. Happy fuckin' anniversary to me."
Heero stepped forward and pulled Duo into a tight hug, heart aching at his inability to do anything to fix this. Duo allowed the hug but did not relax into it or hug back, something that set off a definite warning in Heero's mind. Duo had been withdrawn and silent, but he had never shed a single tear in the entire time since finding out that Wufei was leaving him. And now he was eerily calm and cool. The whole thing had Heero worried. Very worried.
And Heero was even more worried when the very next day Duo calmly informed Une that he was "done acting like a melodramatic, lovesick teenager and ready to return to duty". But that didn't mean he could do a damn thing to stop it. Heero was afraid that if he tried, Duo would simply request a change of partners and then Heero would not be there to watch his back and prevent what he was all too certain would happen. He knew the signs all too well. Duo was looking for an excuse to self-destruct.
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