Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Crow: Shinigami ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: You'll notice messages involving my ex-muse (Malysa) and my inner child (Kit); these go back to when I originally started writing "TC:S" and I decided to keep them in. After chapter 5 (if I write more from there) You won't see those anymore, or at least, not ones involving Malysa.

Warnings:

Yaoi (3+4), Angst, Self-Mutilation, a bit of OOC, Alternate Timeline*.

DISCLAIMER:

Characters, Not mine (except Nathan Williams [who is not in this chapter], the particular crow in this story, and maybe a few extras).

The Crow concept, also not mine (but I've tweaked it a little; I never let the truth get in the way of a good story).

This fic, MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!

Malysa & Kit: ah-hem.

Errr...well...you two are sort of me...eh-heh... onwiththestory!

Chapter 1

Heavyarms' ammunition had long since run out, and the Gundam fought now only with the blade that was its auxiliary weapon; Heavyarms was badly worn, but still held its ground.

Sandrock was in worse condition; having lost one of its blades fairly early in the fight its performance had been severely impaired. The external sensors, though not completely useless, had been damaged, and now the visual input flickered in and out.

They were still grossly outnumbered, and the battle was only going downhill for the two exhausted Gundam pilots.

"Trowa, I want you to retreat."

The brown haired pilot of Heavyarms looked down at the communication screen, and the golden haired boy who piloted Sandrock.

"What?" Trowa asked, softly. His attention was momentarily taken as he dispatched another mobile suit. He listened as his partner explained.

"Sandrock is too badly damaged to fight much longer, or to realistically escape," Trowa looked back at the screen sharply. The other boy lowered his eyes, gathering himself, before looking back into the screen, his aqua eyes meeting the visible green one, trying desperately to communicate everything in his heart, everything he had no time to say, to his partner.

"I am going to self-destruct."

"Quatre." Trowa whispered, closing his eyes against the pain that filled his heart.

"Never forget, I love you." Quatre whispered, looking away from the communication screen. "Get out of here, Trowa."

"No." Trowa's eyes opened, a determined expression in them. "I'm staying with you." Quatre looked back at Trowa incredulously. "We fight together, no matter what."

A tear streaked Quatre's cheek, as drew a shaky breath. "I understand." He smiled softly at his partner, before turning back to the battle at hand.

A flash of green was the only forewarning before two of the Leos abruptly exploded.

"What-!?!" Quatre gasped, his eyes widening at what he saw. "Impossible!!!"

Through the smoke, an unmistakable black and white Gundam appeared, glowing green scythe in hand.

"Deathscythe." Trowa murmured.

"Hey, guys!" A familiar face appeared on the communication screen, complete with manic grin. "Miss me?"

"Duo!" Quatre exclaimed. "Is it really you?"

"Who were you expecting, Relena?" Duo's grin became impossibly wider. "Let's kick some ASS!!!" The screen flickered off and Deathscythe proceeded to decimate the enemy mobile suits in record time.

'He's improved.' Trowa noted, watching Deathscythe's swift movements. 'A lot.'

~*~

"What happened, Duo?" Quatre asked, when they returned to the safehouse. "You've been missing for a year; Heero told us you'd been killed. Where have you been all this time?"

"I'm kind of fuzzy about what happened when I went to rescue Heero; I know that I was shot, and I think remember falling out a window; the next thing I remember clearly is waking up on a beach. It took me the rest of the time to recover from my injuries and get back in shape.

"A week ago I recovered Deathscythe from where I hid it, but the long distance communications are shot and I haven't had time to fix them." Duo shrugged. "And it was pure chance that I was there at the right time to help you guys.

"Speaking of Heero, where is he?" Duo asked.

"On a mission." Trowa said.

"Nice to know he got out alright." Duo said. "When's he due back?"

"We're not sure," Quatre said. "Sometimes we go for a month at a time without even hearing from him; we don't see WuFei too frequently either. Trowa and I are the only ones who've stuck together. Things sort of fell apart after you disappeared [1]."

"What happened?"

"Well, Heero started getting careless after...he got out of that hospital," Quatre explained. "He just couldn't focus on the missions. I think he felt guilty over what happened to you...what we thought had happened to you, anyway."

"And WuFei?" Duo asked. "Wait, no. Let me guess. He ranted and raved about justice and then went after Treize?"

"How did you guess?" Quatre said, with a brief smile. "Aside from that, the war with OZ has been a stalemate, we've kept them from accomplishing much but it's like fighting an uphill battle; our disadvantage is becoming clear."

"I guess it'll take all five of us to win the war, huh?"

"I hope so; I wouldn't want things to keep going as they are." Quatre said. "It's good to have you back, Duo."

"It's good to be back," Duo said. "I've been pretty lonely this last year."

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Nah. I need to get to work repairing Deathscythe." Duo headed back out. "See ya later."

Quatre frowned as the door shut behind the Deathscythe pilot.

"What's wrong, Quatre?" Trowa asked.

"Trowa, have you ever known Duo to refuse food?"

"It's been a year, people change."

"I know, but it's not just that," Quatre tried to explain. "Something about him feels...wrong."

"Do you think he's a traitor?"

"No!" Quatre shook his head emphatically. "I guess I'm just worried about him, that's all. It just doesn't quite feel real that he's alive. It's like a dream I'm expecting to wake up from at any moment."

Trowa gently pulled the smaller pilot into his embrace holding him tightly to reassure himself that the other boy was really there, and not lying in bloody pieces on the battlefield.

"Trowa…" Quatre said softly, his voice choked with emotion, looking up into the face of the man he loved so deeply.

The kiss was gentle, chaste at first, and then it deepened into a near-desperate fervor, fear of loss almost tangible between the two.

~*~

Duo finished the repairs on his Gundam, and wondered what to do with himself next. Too much time; not enough. Duo fingered the crucifix in his pocket, thoughtfully. 'Maybe I should go into town and get the chain fixed.' But a large part of him disagreed with the notion; the broken chain was symbolic.

'Of what, I wonder? My missing memories, or...' He did not want to think about that.

'If I'm not careful, someone will notice. They have enough problems without burdening them with mine.'

Duo thought about the strain he had seen in the faces and eyes of his fellow pilots; the ongoing war had taken its toll on them; all the more reason to finish it quickly.

'No,' he thought, as he watched the last rays of sunlight begin to fade. 'I definitely do not want them to find out what happened to me.'

~*~

"Do you think I should go find him?" Quatre asked, looking out the window into the night.

Trowa shook his head, in response.

"I suppose. He can take care of himself, after all."

Quatre paced a little, before looking back outside.

"But don't you think we should wait up for him?" The blonde boy asked. Trowa looked decidedly amused. "That way, if it gets too late then we can go find him and-OH!"

"I think we should go to bed." Trowa said to the boy whom he had, quite unexpectedly and quite literally, swept off his feet.

"Oh." Quatre said. "Okay."

~*~

Duo was perched, birdlike, on a thick tree branch, his amethyst eyes regarding the stars somberly. Slowly his eyes lowered to the pale flesh of his wrist, making out the vein.

Vaguely, he recognized that he was in one of his 'moods' again; but he was too preoccupied with unbuttoning his shirt to care. Once his shirt was unbuttoned he pulled the hair elastic off the end of his braid and shook his hair out, letting the breeze play with it. Finally, Duo reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a switchblade.

~*~

The blonde boy abruptly sat up in bed, waking the brunette who was sharing the bed with him.

"Quatre?" Trowa asked, concerned.

The smaller boy bolted from the bed, pulling on a shirt. Trowa was immediately beside him.

"What is it?"

"Something's wrong!" Quatre took a deep breath to calm himself. "It's okay, go back to bed; I'm just going to find Duo."

"I'm going with you."

"No, that's not necessary, I'll be right back."

~*~

Blood, so dark as to be nearly black, sluggishly welled up from the deep cuts along the veins in Duo's wrists. Unsatisfied, he made a jagged tear across his chest as well, deep enough that the knife encountered bone.

Noticing that the cuts on his wrists were starting to close he slashed them again, then, almost as an afterthought, Duo stabbed the knife into his left thigh. [2]

~*~

Quatre ran in the direction that he thought Duo had taken, his unease increasing by the second. He stopped at the base of the tree Duo was perched in, looking around for the other pilot.

There wasn't a sound as Duo landed behind him.

"Something wrong, Quatre?"

The Sandrock pilot whirled suddenly, startled by the other's voice.

Duo stood, silhouetted by the rising moon, with his shirt open and fluttering around him, his loose hair almost floating in the breeze, and his face hidden in shadow, though, somehow, Quatre could see his eyes clearly.

"Are you alright, Duo?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I know there's something wrong with you!"

"You have plenty of things to worry about without worrying about me."

"Duo, please tell me; I need to know, I want to help you!"

"It's far too late to help me."

Duo sighed, shaking his head slightly. "Go back to bed, Quatre, I'm in a strange mood tonight; I doubt I'll be very good company."

Reluctantly, Quatre went back to the house, never noticing the bloody switchblade Duo still held.

~*~

Duo held out his hand and an amethyst-eyed crow landed on it, its talons digging into Duo's flesh, though Duo didn't seem to notice. The crow seemed to glare at him with amethyst eyes as bright as Duo's.

"Don't look at me like that," Duo said. "I know you hate it when I do stuff like that, but it's none of your business."

Duo turned, the moonlight catching his unnaturally white skin, the dark shadows around his slightly glowing eyes, and the black-lipped grin that seemed to be painted onto his face.

The bird croaked at him, and then took to the air once again.

Notes:

* Naturally, with Duo's death, the war would take a different course and might still be going on a year later; I haven't decided the exact divergence point, since I've only seen up to episode 10 (on DVD because Duo's dubbed voice sends me into convulsions).

- Modern amendment: I've now seen the whole series; I'm working on figuring out that divergence point. Duo still met Hilde in this, but I think the story diverged sometime before then; additionally, Une's still an unscrupulous bitch.

- MM.org amendments:

1. As I said previously, I hadn't seen the whole series when I started on this; in fact, I'd only seen 10-15 eps. I noticed that the pilots weren't really a team until the very end; they all worked together a couple of times, but for the most part they fought alone or in pairs. In this reality they were an actual team from fairly early on.

2. I just realized that I haven't given an explanation yet (and I've written up to chapter 5) for Duo's self-mutilation. There is a reason he's doing this, I'll try to address it as soon as possible.