Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Dancing Fortress ❯ Chapter One ( Chapter 1 )

I often have to wonder about the state of my life.

Consider the basic facts. I was born the only son in a family of nearly thirty, in a society that considers males to be just one small step above farm animals. To make matters worse, this family happened to be the royal family, which for as long as anyone could remember had never produced a son. Some of the more jealous of the duchesses and ladies at Court cited that little oddity as the result of some long-ago spell. Most of the country seemed to think it was a sign of divine favour, to have the bloodline free of pesky, inferior males. Either way, it was a well-known fact that only daughters were born to the Queen and her sisters.

But then came along little old me, and suddenly nobody knew what was going on anymore. Needless to say, I was a rather unwelcome addition to the family. No one ever talked to me if they could help it. Barely anyone even looked me at me directly-- though there were certainly enough sidelong glances directed my way, usually accompanied by the whispers of the glancers as they gossiped about me behind their hands, sharing whatever the latest rumour happened to be. And there were some very amusing ones, if I do say so. I nearly laughed myself sick over a few, once I was old enough to appreciate them for the complete and utter horse manure they were.

Before then-- well. Let's not get in to that.

So, in general, I grew up among people who tried very hard to pretend I didn't exist, yet couldn't really push me away completely since I was, after all, royalty. Male or no, a member of the royal family can't just be locked away in a closet and left to rot-- no matter how appealing the idea might have seemed to some. Such an upbringing certainly has some interesting effects on one's concept of self-worth. Surprisingly enough, I managed to make it through to my sixteenth birthday without trying even once to kill myself.

I think it was a relief to all parties involved when I announced to my family-- all of whom seemed to be quite uncomfortable with the fact that I was speaking to them at all-- that I intended to leave and pursue my own way through the world. I was of legal age, after all; there was nothing they could really do to stop me-- not that they tried. In fact, it wasn't even a day after I made my little announcement that I found myself thoroughly ousted from the palace grounds, generously equipped with everything I would need to go away as quickly as I possibly could.

I don't think I need to say that I didn't bother looking back.

So there I was, on my own in the crown city, high on the excitement of it all and naive as all hell. Looking back now, I realize just how lucky I was during those first few months on my own. I mean, I learned fairly quickly in my youth to take care of myself, since no one else was going to, but self-sufficient in the palace is entirely different from self-sufficient just about anywhere else. I hold no illusions for what my fate would have been, had not a great many people come forward to help me. It turned out that no small number of the men in the city-- repressed minority though they were-- were rather protective of me. I was their royal, in a sense. A trouble and embarassment for the women and so a secret source of guilty glee for the men. They were more than willing to offer me a bit of surreptitious help, simply on principle, and at the time I was more than happy to accept it, since it was nearly the first kindness I ever knew.

I like to think that the influence of those nameless townsfolk is a big part of what turned me into the well-balanced individual I am today. Y'know, as opposed to a lunatic, or a corpse. Like I said, I hold no illusions. I am continually surprised that I haven't turned out even more warped than I am.

In the end, I wound up on a wizard's doorstep, and was accepted into his school as a potential student. The school itself was nearly what I imagine a monastery would be like-- very peaceful, very quiet, filled with people too deeply engrossed in their own thoughts to be bothered with conversation. It bothered me for all of two days, until I realized that despite the fact that no one was talking to me, again, they weren't talking to each other, either-- nor were they talking about me behind my back. No one looked down on me, no one specifically turned away from me if I approached them. Hell, there were even women at the school, learning right alongside the men and not seeming to dislike the arrangement too much. It was-- surreal. I had to resist the urge to pinch myself on numerous occasions, near the beginning, just on the off chance that it was some bizarre dream.

Slowly, though, I learned, and grew, and came to understand the workings of the world outside of the palace and its city. So when I finally left the school-- six years after I arrived, with a Guild badge on my shoulder proclaiming me a mercenary mage for hire-- I was a far different person than the wide-eyed, withdrawn boy who had first entered those halls. I knew what I could expect from the world around me, and how to interact with those I met. Perhaps most importantly, I knew myself, for the first time in my life. I will be forever grateful to my teachers, for giving me that chance.

The life of a mercenary mage is exciting, I suppose, up to a point. After all, there is a world to be seen, wonders to be marvelled at, dangers to defeat and lovers to woo with tales of glory-- but maybe I'm a cynic at heart, because it wasn't long before it became just a job, to me. A job I was very good at, mind, and one I took no small satisfaction in doing and doing well. But I never adopted the patented smirk-and-swagger arrogance that plagues so many in my profession, never really felt like showing off my abilities or drawing attention to myself. Probably a side effect of my childhood. Oddly enough, it is to this attitude that I owe a great deal of my success. I gained a reputation for being efficient, fair and professional, unlike so many others, and as a result I was requested specifically on any number of more complicated jobs.

It was on one of these jobs that I met Heero, which in turn led me to where I am today.