Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Definition of Love ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 2 )

The Definition of Love

Chapter 1

 

Author's Note: It's been a very, very long time since I've updated this. I wrote this as a sophomore in high school and I can't even remember what inspired me to write it, but I'm definitely not gonna let it die, especially not now that I have an equal amount of people expressing their interest on the fic as the people that say that it's sick and wrong. Woo hoo! And for those of you saying that it's sick and wrong, warning, there is incest in this fic (hence the warnings on the title page) and it's not going away since it's kind of the focus, so you might want to try a different fic. For those of you giving positive reviews, thank you so much! ^^

 

 

“Do you want to go to Hell, Heero?! Well, do you?! Do you want to turn out like him?!”

Heero shot awake, his mother's words ringing in his ears, even now, eight years later. He shuddered; his body covered in sweat and tossed the covers off of him. There was no way he was going back to sleep, not with the images from the mixture of memory and nightmare that was his last dream still in his head. He shivered in the cold air of his bedroom and got to his feet. He ran a hand through his thick, unruly hair. The nightmares tonight had been worse than usual, but he wasn't surprised. They had almost lived in their old house for ten years when his mother, for some strange reason, had decided a few weeks ago to pack everything up and move. They were all still adjusting to the change. Duo was the only one of them that had seemed overly excited by the move. He said that it was a chance to meet new people and create new memories. But, then, his little brother always had tried to get the best out of any situation. His mother had seemed bitter about moving, despite the fact that it had been her idea. She had snapped at Duo when he had said that he wasn't depressed about moving. Heero was neither happy nor sad about leaving. He didn't have any friends and wasn't leaving anything behind, but at the same time, he didn't see how things were going to be different here. Tomorrow he and Duo were going to high school, which would be a new experience for Duo, who had just turned fifteen a few months ago. Heero was bored with the whole `school' experience, despite the fact that he was only seventeen. He was too smart to be going to a public school, or at least Duo always said so. Heero didn't know if that were true, but he was bored in all of his classes and he felt that he knew more than the teachers, which was never a good attitude to have. Duo was all he had to keep him sane. Duo was also smart, though his intelligence seemed to be in the areas of art while Heero excelled in the more scholarly sections of math and science. There was a lot of area in Duo's interests for him to express himself which made his teacher's praise him as a genius while Heero was seen as a rebel delinquent. It seemed like Duo was the only one who understood that it was more a case of being too smart than being a smartass. His mother, on the other hand, didn't understand either of them. She had made it perfectly clear that they were to act like normal children and not to act `oddly.' Whatever that meant. He and Duo had shared a laugh as soon as she had slunk off. Their mother got that way sometimes, though nowadays it seemed to be getting worse. Heero called it `fanaticism', but Duo hated that word. He said that it was just her getting along in her age and that she was lonely. Heero didn't care; he just wished that she would lay off of Duo. It seemed that most of her rants and scolding were at his little brother, despite the fact that he was a perfect angel. Tomorrow was going to be a chore. For as much as Duo was polite and friendly, ever since he was a kid, he seemed to attract trouble. It wasn't his fault, there was just something about him that attracted every asshole and bully and there was some quality to him that his mother seemed to resent. Heero, however, couldn't see anything bad about his little brother, though he would never admit this to his mother for two reasons. The first was that the woman had a voracious temper. It had gotten worse over the years, but she had been that way for as long as Heero could remember. He didn't dare argue with her over anything. He didn't consider her abusive, but she wasn't exactly above slapping one of them if they were `out of line'. The second was that, eight years ago, he had born the brunt of his mother's fury. Eight years ago, Heero had discovered that he had a crush on his little brother and eight years ago, his mother had found out. He would never give his mother a reason to doubt him again. He would never willingly bring down that indescribable rage ever again. He rubbed at the burn on the back of his right hand that he had had for so long that he had developed a bad habit of rubbing it when he was deep in thought. He looked at the clock. It was four in the morning, so he had two hours before anyone would be getting up. He wrapped his blanket around his shivering body and left his room. His feet seemed to lead him on their own will power to his brother's room.

Eight years ago, Heero had believed that he was in love with his brother, but he understood now that that had just been a phase. His nine year old mind was too immature to understand these things, but he understood them now. It was like an Oedipus complex, but he was over it now.

He looked down at his little brother's sleeping face. His muscles were relaxed in sleep and he looked completely relaxed. It had been a phase. Just a phase, but he was over it now. He didn't love his little brother, he didn't. Heero bit his lip, grinding it between his teeth until he tasted blood. Yes, Duo was beautiful and sweet and sometimes when he was looking at him, Heero's chest would ache painfully and the mere sound of his voice would make him shutter as he had when he was a child, but he didn't love him.

 

 

“Do you want to go to Hell?! You sick little beast! Do you want to be like him?”

 

“Here, right here, good boy. I love you so much…”

 

No, he didn't love Duo at all… and he would prove it.

 

 

End Chapter 1