Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Definition of Love ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 6 )

The Definition of Love

Chapter 5

 

Author's Note: Ok, here are the boys' ages since some people have confessed to being confused: Heero is seventeen, Duo has just turned fifteen, Trowa is seventeen, Quatre is fourteen, and Wufei is sixteen. Duo and Heero are three years apart, because of their birthday placements, Heero won't turn eighteen for a few more months and Quatre is only fourteen because he has a late birthday. Recap: Quatre, Duo, and Heero are all freshmen though Heero is older. Trowa is a senior and Wufei is a junior. Relena is also a freshman but since it's a small town, they all know each other even if they are a few years apart.

 

 

Heero heard Duo's music from the kitchen as he set the table. He wasn't used to hearing this sort of music from his brother and the lyrics gave a heavy atmosphere to the home. He was glad when the music switched in the middle of the song, but the choice wasn't much better in his opinion. Heero sighed heavily. Duo was in a dark mood tonight. Sure enough, the next song made him want to march upstairs and demand what was wrong. The music was loud, but strangely, Eliza didn't yell at him to turn it off. The table was set and the smell of chicken was warm and thick in the air. Heero walked to the steps.

“Duo, dinner!” He yelled, yet the music didn't stop.

“Your brother will not be joining us for dinner,” their mother said from the kitchen in her cold, flat voice. Heero marched up to her.

“Why?” He demanded.

“He is being punished,” Eliza said simply as though that explained everything.

“But why?” Heero pressed. Not being allowed to eat dinner wasn't a usual punishment and Duo certainly wasn't a juvenile delinquent. Eliza narrowed her blue eyes at him.

“I am the parent here, Heero, or have you forgotten? If you want to keep questioning me, you can join your brother upstairs right now and save us both some time,” with that, she turned on her heel and dished up some food on her plate at the stove and sat down. Heero gritted his teeth, but followed her anyway.

 

*****

 

Heero did his and Duo's laundry as he waited for their mother to go to bed. When he was sure that she was in her room, he snuck into kitchen and warmed up the leftovers of dinner. By the time he was outside of Duo's room, his music was still playing but at a much reduced volume. Duo was sitting on his bed, reading something in one of their textbooks, his back to Heero. Heero turned off the music, but Duo didn't seem to notice.

“Duo?”

“I'm doing homework,” Duo murmured. Heero sighed. He had hoped that after talking to him after school, his little brother would have stopped hiding from him. Duo finally seemed to smell the food Heero had brought him and turned to look at it hungrily, giving Heero a good view of the red mark on his cheek. Heero put the plate down on Duo's desk and sat with him on the bed, looking intently at the mark.

“What the hell did she do?” Heero demanded. Duo just blinked at him, seeming confused, then remembered what was on his face. His back stiffened.

“Mom's gonna kill you when she finds out that you brought me food,” he tried to change the subject, but Heero was too stubborn.

“I mean it, Duo! What the hell were you two arguing about that she felt she had to hit you?!”

Duo just shrugged.

“We weren't arguing about anything.”

That was the truth and Duo was just as stubborn as his older brother. There was no way he was going to tell him anything.

“Then she hit you for no reason?!”

“Just get the hell out!” Duo suddenly snarled. Heero stared at him. Duo hardly ever raised his voice, especially to him.

“Fine,” he said in defeat, heading towards the door, “but eat your dinner. If you won't tell me what's going on, there's no reason for you to be punished, is there? Good night, Duo.”

“'Night, Heero,” Duo said, feeling his temper vanish, “thank you for the food.”

Heero just smiled back at him and closed the door behind him. He was sure that things would make more sense to him in the morning.

 

*****

 

“Good night, Rashid,” Quatre called to his bodyguard and chauffeur. The tall man bowed to him on his way out to the servant's housing.

“Good night, Master Winner.”

Quatre watched him go with a heavy sigh. It was sad how close he felt to the man, but he could never be anything more than `Master Winner.' He hated that. The man had been by his side since he was a toddler and his father treated the man like he treated all the other servants. Sometimes Quatre wondered about the so-called `benefits' of his `privileged' life. He had never been to the servant's quarters and wondered if it was as nice as this house. He doubted it. Somehow, his thoughts drifted to earlier today. He had thought that his first day of high school would have been a lot more imposing, but it wasn't so bad. A lot of his friends were older than him and already in high school, so at least he hadn't been alone and best of all, Trowa had been there. Despite his father's constant bullying, Trowa was his best friend and had been since they were kids. It was nice going to school with him. Then there was that new kid, Duo. Quatre hadn't expected to make new friends so quickly, but it had somehow been very easy. He was surprised that the subdued boy hadn't been scared away by how forward he had been, but there was something about him that made Quatre want to protect him and brighten his day. There was something in his eyes, he seemed broken and sad and he was sure that his older brother suddenly dating out of the blue hadn't helped him feel secure. That and Quatre really did like the long haired boy. His sisters would say that it was the rebellious streak in him, that he knew that his father would be against him being friends with someone so `common', but Quatre didn't think that he was that shallow. He also didn't think that Duo was quite as `common' as his father would think. Talking to Duo had been easy, much easier than the pompous, arrogant children that his father had tried to make Quatre's friends. Quatre's mind also wandered to Heero. It wasn't a good sign that Heero was dating Relena Darlian-Peacecraft, but he was only his friend's brother and Quatre certainly wasn't going to be the one to try to break them up, he just wished that Heero hadn't become so fixated so quickly. Duo had seemed so devastated when he had seen Heero kiss her that Quatre couldn't help but wonder what their relationship was like since he wasn't close at all to his own siblings. Giving Duo his cell phone had definitely been a spur of the moment decision, but seeing the violet eyed boy near tears had made something twist in Quatre's gut. His father was always accusing him of being weak and soft hearted, but Quatre couldn't help it, there was something about another person's pain that made him want to fix everything for them. As Quatre walked up the huge staircase to his room, he passed by his father, but neither of them said a word to each other.

 

*****

 

The next morning was just more of the same fair as far as Quatre was concerned. He got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, same old, same old. His father actually decided to grace him with his presence and was sitting at the breakfast table, reading the newspaper. It wasn't until Quatre had finished eating that he remembered that he was supposed to go over to Trowa's after school. They usually didn't meet at Trowa's home because his older sister seemed to have grudge against him for some reason, but Quatre couldn't invite him over while his father was here. Fortunately, he was leaving this weekend to go to some conference. There was no way he was going to subject Duo to his father's conservative views and stifling behavior. Quatre mused about how easy it must be for other people to bring their friends over while he had to constantly measure his friends up in his father's eyes to see if he would be willing to risk having them meet. He was a coward, he thought, a stronger person wouldn't care about what his father thought, but he didn't want his friends to suffer because his father had such high expectations out of him. Quatre couldn't care less about what his father expected of him. He liked his friends just fine, thank you. He hated this. It was a good thing that his father wasn't the type to ask how his first day at school had gone, because he wouldn't have been able to tell him anything. He was sure that his father wouldn't approve of his dislike to THE Relena Peacecraft and his friendship with a boy that no one knew anything about and `dressed like a punk', his father's words, of course. It was enough to make him want to scream, but his father would probably lecture him about that as well. He wondered if things would have been different if his mother were still alive or if she had been as uptight as his father. His older sister, Irea, said that she had been a very cool and nice woman, but when speaking of the dead, Quatre wasn't sure whose opinion he could trust.

Would he even need to tell his father that he wouldn't be coming home after school? He was sure that the man wouldn't notice his absence, but there was still that childish part of himself that made him tell his father his plans.

“I won't be coming home after school today. I have a previous engagement with a friend.”

Shahir Winner folded his newspaper and looked at his only son with intense brown eyes, a rare occurrence.

“Don't try to fool me, Quatre. You're going to see that circus boy, aren't you?” His father asked, his voice cold and clipped. Quatre narrowed his eyes at his father. He should deny it, he realized, it would be fairly easy to lie and sidestep this argument, but a strange perversity hit him.

“His name is Trowa, father, and he doesn't belong to the circus anymore and yes, I am seeing him after school.”

“No, you won't,” his father sighed heavily, “I should have put a stop to this years ago. You will not see him anymore. It is embarrassing, my only son, playing with some… some clown! The media would have a field day if they found out that this family had ties to that sort of person! Can't you think of this family for once? Your mother would be mortified, God rest her soul!”

Quatre clenched his fists so tightly that his neat nails dug into his skin.

“You have no say in who I befriend!” Quatre could feel the fight escalating out of control, but he no longer cared, “and you cannot keep me from seeing him!” Quatre got up to leave and his father smiled snidely.

“Oh, I can't? I'm your father! You will sit down and listen to me!”

“No, I won't,” Quatre snapped.

“If you don't, consider your allowance cancelled. You will have no access to any money, let's see how that… boy… likes you when you can't spend a cent!”

“I don't care!” Quatre yelled, “and for your information, Trowa isn't like those `friends' you forced me to play with when I was younger, he doesn't care about my money! I am so sick of your shit!”

“What did you say?” Shahir said, his voice a harsh whisper. Quatre didn't respond, he marched up the steps and gathered his things for school, then left the house. No one tried to stop him.

 

*****

 

Quatre had never had to walk anywhere before, but despite what most people thought, he was not the helpless, pathetic type of person that others in his social class were and he managed to find his way on the right road to school quite easily. He often wondered why his father had insisted on living in Arcadia. He supposed that it was because the town was so small and the people here respected each other's privacy. It was a wonder that Rashid hadn't shown up, but his father probably thought that he was incapable of walking to school on his own and thought that this would be a fitting punishment. Well, he was going to be pleasantly surprised. He hated having this sort of duality in his life. He loved his family. There had been times as a child that his father had been there for him and had acted as a father should, but as he had gotten older, those moments had slowly stopped happening. Still, he did love his father, even though they fought all the time. But, he also loved his friends and trying to choose between the two was literally impossible. He couldn't sacrifice one for the other; he just couldn't make up his mind on the subject. Then there was Trowa… If he really had to choose between his father and his best friend… he wasn't sure at the moment that his father would win, love and honor be damned.

 

*****

 

3:30 AM, Heero crept into Duo's room. He wasn't sure why tonight of all nights he had finally decided to do this, it was like some siren call and he couldn't pull away. He didn't dare to risk closing the door behind him in case the noise woke up his little brother. Duo's face was so soft and relaxed in sleep, his chestnut braid curled up on the pillow like a cat. Heero pressed his hand to Duo's cheek. He had touched his little brother hundreds of times, but this time was different, he could feel it. It was something in the air, some tension, it made his body feel tight and hot. Duo's skin was soft and pale in the dark room. His heart was pounding so hard, he worried that the younger boy would hear it and awaken, but he never did. Even as Heero leaned down to kiss him, he didn't wake up. Duo tasted sweet, like some sort of indescribable fruit and his mouth was moist. His first kiss… it felt so good, like everything he had wanted in his life had somehow been achieved in one single moment. He never wanted to be parted from those lips. As he kissed him, Heero felt Duo's hair with his fingertips. It was as silky as Heero had thought it would be. The thick braid was heavy, but like water at the same time. He wouldn't be satisfied with just touching his hair, he realized, and his hand started to explore his little brother's body. This was wrong, his mind screamed at the same time that his heart was screaming just how right it was. He could taste Duo's moans as he touched him through his pajamas, his chest, his stomach, his thighs… Heero shuddered with each new curve explored and touched, cataloging in his mind forever. His hand finally rested on Duo's groin, the little bulge there felt warm and comfortable in his palm. Not for the first time, Heero wondered if he looked the same as when he was three and they had used to bathe together.

Heero almost screamed as a large hand grabbed him by the back of his neck, pinching the skin hard enough to bruise and dragged him out of the room. The light of the hall was harsh and far too real as Heero was rudely brought out of his surreal moment in Duo's room as though he was waking from a dream, but the remaining warmth on his hand and moistness on his lips told him that it was no dream. The child cried out as his back was suddenly shoved into a wall. One of the large hands slapped him across the face and he looked into his mother's furious, crazy blue eyes.

“What do you think you're doiiing?!' She screeched so loudly that Heero feared that Duo would awake and hear them. What would he do if his brother knew what he had done? He would surely die of shame, he thought. Duo could never know…

“Do you want to go to hell?!” Another slap, “well?! Do you?!”

In that moment, Heero didn't care about heaven or hell. He just wanted to be with Duo!

“Do you want to turn out like him?!” Eliza screamed, shaking Heero against the wall by his pajamas, “do you want to end up like your bastard father?!”

Heero shook his head frantically. No, he wasn't like him! That was totally different… he loved Duo and he would never hurt him, and he would never hurt his mother, either. Not like that. He loved his family, even if it wasn't perfect sometimes…

His mother grabbed him by his hand, the same hand that had touched Duo so intimately, and dragged him to the kitchen.

“I will fix this,” he heard his mother muttering, “I'll fix this and everything will be perfect again. I'll nip it in the bud, yes, I couldn't save Jonathan, but I can save my son!”

Was she talking about Duo, or him? Heero couldn't tell, but the look in her eyes scared him. He had only seen that look a handful of times, and it was terrifying. He watched with huge blue eyes as she dragged him to the stove and turned it on low.

“No!” he cried, trying to break her grip. He screamed as she pressed his hand onto the hot stove top. He could feel it, a heat so hot, it felt like it was searing his bones and it throbbed… Finally, his hand was released and he brought it to his chest, cradling it as he looked up at his mother with a dazed stare of betrayal.

“Don't you look at me like that!” she hissed. She slapped him again and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him roughly.

“Now do you see what will happen to you if you do nasty things like that?! I can assure you that hell will feel much worse! I'm only thinking about your interests, Heero, so don't you dare look at me like that! Now, say it, say you will never touch your brother like that again! Your brother, for God's sake! Say it, Heero!”

Heero pushed her back, breaking away from her and ran to his room, feeling her running after him, but he was faster. He slammed the door behind him and locked it. He heard her pounding on the door and he slid to the floor, cradling his burnt hand and sobbing.

 

*****

 

When Heero awoke, he was disorientated and it felt like he had gone back in time. But, instead of pastel green walls, these walls were cream colored and the ceiling was higher, the door a light beige color, not the dark brown wood of the house he had grown up in. His mother was not pounding on the door and, though there were tears on his cheeks, his hand did not hurt, not really. He did feel it burning, but he knew that it was all in his head. It was just a dream, nothing more, but he curled his hand against his chest protectively anyway.

 

*****

 

Duo also had a nightmare, though his was less concrete and by the time he had awoken, he could barely understand it. All he could really remember was someone talking about a `perfect family', the smell of Jasmine tea, and a much younger Heero playing baseball. When he woke, he was groggy and very confused and feeling depressed from his dream, though he couldn't really remember it or why it would make him feel that way. It didn't matter anyway. `Perfect family', what a load of shit. No one's family was perfect, even back when his father had been around, they had had problems. He shook his head. He didn't want perfect, but he did wish that things were different. He wished that his father was back and he wasn't consumed by guilt about what had happened, he wished that his mother and Heero were happy. But Duo knew that wishing didn't solve anything and rolled out of bed. He got dressed and got his bag together for school. He forgot what his mother had said to him last night about not being allowed downstairs and took his dirty dish from last night downstairs to the kitchen. As he cleaned up the mess and put it in the dishwasher, he vowed that he would apologize for what he had said last night. He had been selfish, it wasn't her fault that his dad wasn't around anymore and it had to be hard for her. She wasn't in the kitchen, so he looked for her in the den and saw that she had a fire going, which was strange because the cold weather wasn't supposed to start up until next week, but he ignored that oddness of it. She was sitting in front of the fire with her back to him, but he could still see what she was doing. She was looking through an old photo album, pausing every so often to look at a picture. Her eyes suddenly settled on a page and her features tightened. He watched in shock as she suddenly tore out the page.

“Mom, what are you-?” Duo approached her, but she didn't seem to notice as she tossed the page of photos into the fire. Duo gaped as he watched the photographs curl and burn. He watched as she flipped through more pages, coming across another one that seemed to catch her eye. Duo leaned forward and saw that the page was filled with photos of his father's family. There was his grandfather and grandmother, who had died when Duo was just a toddler and he barely remembered them at all. There were two of his aunts, Aunt Sheryl and Aunt Rosie; neither he had seen in the last five years. There were even a few pictures of his father when he was a bit younger, his arms wrapped around his cousin, Magdalene, both of them laughing like teenagers, their bright blue eyes staring at him from the photograph. As Magdalene's eyes stared at Duo, he gasped, feeling as though he had been punched. It had been four years since he had seen his great cousin. Out of all of his relatives on his father's side, he remembered Magdalene most of all, she was also the one that had visited the most frequently.

 

*****

 

“Is a great cousin reeeeally old?” Duo asked his father. Jonathan laughed happily as they walked downstairs, running a large hand through his shaggy chestnut hair.

“No kiddo, she's younger than your mom.”

That admission made Duo's eyes widen almost comically.

“Wow! Does she look like mommy, too?”

His father shook his head.

“No, she looks just like you.”

As they came into the living room, Duo gasped as he saw his `great cousin' for the first time. His father was right, she did look just like him! Her eyes were blue instead of violet and her long hair was curly while his was straight, but beyond that, there were a lot of similarities. She wore a pure white dress and as she kneeled down to greet the small boy, she smiled prettily.

“Hello, Duo, I'm Magdalene(1).”

They shook hands and Duo saw that her hand was kind of small and slender.

“Magdalin?” Duo struggled with the name. Magdalene giggled and patted his head.

“You can call me Maggie, ok, sweetie?”

 

*****

 

Maggie watched with wide eyes as her nephew slipped off the monkey bars and fell onto the ground with a thud. Duo sobbed as pain stung in his knee, the skin had come off and he was bleeding badly. Maggie got to him quickly and swept him up into her arms.

“Are you alright?” She asked, panicked. She was babysitting Heero and Duo while their parents went out to the movies. It was common for her to come over and play with them and neither she nor the children minded her presence. She didn't have any children of her own and enjoyed their company, but in times like this, she seemed to struggle with knowing what to do.

“I want Heero!” Duo sobbed in pain.

“Alright, let's go find your brother,” Maggie said, starting to panic.

 

*****

 

Duo watched, enthralled as Maggie read a book in the living room, sipping at some strange colored liquid in a china cup. Whatever she was drinking smelled funny, like grass.

“Wha's that?” Duo asked. Maggie looked at him with a bright smile.

“It's tea, dear. Would you like to try some?”

“Yeah!” Duo said excitedly.

 

*****

 

Duo felt tears prickling at his vision. He watched as his mother went to tear the page of photos out like the last one and he grabbed her arm in a tight grip.

“Stop it!” He yelled, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. His breath came out in pants and he felt himself start to hyperventilate. Spots of grey and black came over his eyes and he held onto his mother's arm tight enough to bruise, a force that he had never used before, especially on her. She looked at Duo in shock and pain.

“Stop that!” Duo screamed in a panic, “If you do that, it's like she never existed!” The tears broke, pouring down his cheeks as his breath hitched in his throat. Eliza's face twisted into a snarl and she pushed him away, but he refused to let go of her, instead trying to wrestle the photo album away from her.

“What the hell is going on?!” Heero yelled as he ran into the room.

“Get your brother off of me!” Eliza snarled, but startled by Heero's sudden appearance. Duo took that moment as her fingers loosened their grip on the album to grab it from her and ran out of the room with it.

“Duo!” Heero took off after his brother as he fled the house with the red leather book.

 

*****

 

Duo didn't care that someone was chasing him, all he knew was that he had to save these pictures. That was the only thing that was important right now. He felt someone's hand on his arm, pulling him to a stop and he almost tripped.

“No!” He cried, struggling against the person

“Duo, relax!”

Duo did just that as he realized that it was not his mother that had followed him down the street, but his brother. Heero would understand…

“She was burning dad's pictures,” he murmured. Heero's brow furrowed in confusion. Why would Duo care if their father's picture was destroyed…

“Oh,” it finally dawned on him, “you mean Maggie?”

Duo nodded, wrapping his arms around the leather book and hugging it close to his chest. Heero sighed.

“Are there any pictures of her left in there?”

Duo nodded again and Heero felt something tight loosen inside of him. He didn't want to think about what would happen to Duo if their mother had succeeded.

“But I can't protect her from mom!” Duo cried. Heero put a hand on his arm, feeling him shake.

“Yes, we can. There must be someplace we can hide it.”

Duo looked up at him, his wide eyes full of hope.

“We can?”

“Of course. She'll be safe, Duo, I promise.”

Heero felt Duo's muscles relax and that wild, almost crazy desperateness in his eyes started to ebb. He watched as his little brother reverently put the photo album into his book bag.

“Come one, neither of us has had breakfast. I'll buy us some bagels.”

“Ok,” Duo said, subdued. That spoke to Heero more than the shaking. Usually Duo would fight with him about buying him anything, especially when he could afford it. It scared him when his brother got like this, it was almost like he was in shock. He hoped that some hot food would perk him up. As they walked down the street, Heero cursed their mother in every way that he knew.

 

*****

 

That look in his eyes… that desperateness that was almost insanity… it was so much like his, Eliza thought as she looked into the flames. She wondered if she could burn the whole house down, burn away her old life and just leave. It would be so easy… but she had thought that moving away would make things better, but she could never forget. She had never thought that she would be a single mother. Things like that you heard on TV, but to have it actually happen! She bit her lip. Duo looked so much like his father, sometimes she had to remind herself that it was her son, not her husband. No, ex-husband, he wasn't around anymore. That was Duo's fault, so shouldn't she call that suicide? He did look an awful lot like him… what was it about the Maxwell family and that annoying beauty? Even Jonathan's sisters had had it. She had always looked at Duo and Jonathan together and thought how beautiful they were, but now that was a curse. She couldn't pretend that her son was her husband, it could never work that way, could it? No, her son was a poor substitute for the real thing, and then there was that strange defiance in his eyes. Jonathan had never had that look. Craziness, yes, but Duo's eyes were different, like how his were violet and her husband's had been blue. It was just different enough for her to break the spell of memory. She hated him for that, he had no right to remind her of all things he had taken away from her! That creature who had taken her husband away from her forever…

 

*****

 

As the northern street they were on converged with a western one, Duo spotted someone walking ahead of them and ran to him. Heero was startled momentarily until he realized that it was the blonde boy Duo had befriended yesterday. Jealousy hit him like a storm as the two boys chatted easily. Why did he feel that way? This was Duo's new friend, not a bully or enemy that needed to be beaten to protect his brother. It was no wonder that Duo had been out of sorts yesterday with his jealousy with Relena, and that jealousy had been understandable, unlike this, which, in Heero's mind, was just foolish. Well, he wasn't going to let it get the best of him. If this was Duo's friend, then he would just have to put aside his feelings and try to get along with him. He told himself that it was a good thing that Duo had made a friend so quickly, that the blonde seemed to be a good person, but it was no use, even as he joined them and shook the blonde's hand, jealousy reared its ugly head to take a great big bite out of his ass. This was not going to be pleasant. He wanted the pretty blonde boy away from his brother! A dark thought hit him; what if the boy wasn't so pretty, would he have been as jealous? But that didn't make any sense! What difference did it make if Duo's friends were attractive, and why did he even think that the blonde was pretty? Boys weren't pretty, especially if you were straight.

“Quatre, this is my older brother, Heero. Heero, this is my friend, Quatre.”

Heero nodded to Quatre, who smiled brightly. Oddly enough, that smile made him feel a little better, but the jealousy stayed.

“What happened to your driver?” Duo asked. Quatre waved his hand like it was no big deal.

“My father and I had a fight, so I left earlier than I usually do. He's probably going to make me walk to and from school as punishment,” Quatre rolled his green-blue eyes and Duo laughed. Heero felt his chest tighten. He had never heard Duo laugh with anyone but him.

“Yeah, I just had to get out of the house before my mom and I got into a big argument,” Duo said. It wasn't exactly a lie, Heero thought, and it was a good thing that Duo had gotten out of there before there mother had done something violent. He vowed to make sure to not leave his brother's side after school to make sure that she wouldn't try to hit him for what he had just pulled with the album. Though, really, he had every right to. They didn't have much to remember their relatives by, just pictures, and Heero knew how important it was to Duo.

“Heero, I've invited Duo to my house this weekend, would you like to come as well?” Quatre asked.

“He can't,” Duo murmured looking at the ground as they walked, “he has a date with Relena.”

Heero winced. Duo actually wanted him to come with them? He was sure that it would be more enjoyable than him going on a date with a girl he didn't even know… but he had promised her and Duo would never let him back out of it. Still, he was suddenly regretting ever meeting Relena Darlian-Peacecraft for just this moment. Here was an excuse to get out of the house with Duo without their mother hounding him about it. After all, he was sure that if Quatre was there, she wouldn't have a problem with it. What was it about women that made him feel so hesitant, but he was able to feel so relaxed with his male brother and male friend? Being with women was such a show, like a game of chess, every move had to be thought out and he hated that manipulative behavior. But with guys, he could just be himself, he didn't have to wear a mask just to keep a friendship going. He felt more confident with his brother and as for Quatre, he was sure that the blonde would like him as a friend. He seemed to like Duo, of course, who could not like Duo? But, if Duo liked the person that Heero really was, then Quatre might like him, too. If he was friends with Quatre, maybe this strange jealousy would go away, but beyond that, as he saw Duo chatting with him so happily, he realized that he wanted a friend like that, someone he could talk to, not because he had something important to say, but because he enjoyed his company.

“Oh,” Quatre said with wide eyes, “I had totally forgotten about that! I'm sorry, Heero.”

Heero nodded.

`But not as sorry as I am,' he thought. He almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. He was dreading a date with a beautiful girl and wanted to hang out with his little brother and new friend instead, and said new friend, instead of congratulating him on getting a girl friend as pretty as Relena, was apologizing for the same thing that Heero was hesitant about! He wasn't sure if he and Quatre were on the same wave length or if it was just luck.

“Quatre!” A deep voice called from behind them. Heero spun around and saw the green eyed boy from yesterday joining them on the street. Quatre's sea green eyes lit up and he bounced like a puppy.

“Trowa!” Quatre ran over to the much taller boy and hugged him, speaking so quickly Heero was amazed that the other boy could understand him, asking him about his morning and how his sister was. Heero smirked and shook his head. Quatre reminded him of what Duo had been like as a child. That thought made Heero frown. Duo didn't act like that very much anymore. He didn't understand why that bothered him so much. Duo was a teenager now and it was a given that he wouldn't be the same as when he was little. And with everything that had happened, Duo had every reason to be more reserved than he had been, but Heero missed that bright eyed exuberance for life that his brother had once had.

Heero blinked as he saw someone running after Trowa. It couldn't be…

“Wufei?” Heero said in amazement. The Chinese boy that he had met yesterday finally caught up and glared at Trowa.

“Barton! Do you think that you could slow down for the rest of us?” He growled. Yep, it was Wufei, alright. Trowa raised an eyebrow at him.

“You should walk faster, then,” he quipped. Wufei grumbled something in Mandarin. Quatre beamed at him and bowed.

“Good morning, Wufei.”

Wufei returned the bow.

“Winner,” his dark brown eyes fell on Heero, “and Yuy, it's good to see you again.”

Heero nodded.

“You live down here?”

Wufei shook his head.

“No, this street just crosses with mine. I live on the lake.”

“That must be great!” Duo said excitedly. He thought of having a house on the water, the quiet serene landscape of a lake, the silence only broken by the various sounds of nature, waking each morning to the placid waters and smell of fresh water. He wished that he could live in a place like that.

“You must be Duo,” Wufei said, shaking Duo's hand.

“Uh, yeah…” Duo looked confused.

“He's in my math class,” Heero explained.

“Heero, this is Trowa Barton, Duo, this is Chang Wufei.” They all shook each other's hands. Duo quirked his head to the side as he looked at Wufei.

“You're Chinese, right? So your family's name is Chang?”

Wufei smiled at him. Usually people would be too frightened of him to ask such questions. Was this boy completely oblivious or did he just not care?

“Yes, though not many Americans realize that.”

Duo blushed.

“Well, our mom's half Japanese.”

Wufei looked at Heero.

“That explains your brother, but you don't look anything like him and I assume you don't look much like you're mother, either.”

“No,” Duo said with an odd, small smile, “I look like my dad, he's all American.”

Heero rolled his eyes.

“If anyone has to do a report on genetics, you can just interview our family,” Heero muttered. It was true, he had his mother's Asian looks and English blue eyes and dark brown hair and Duo had their father's straight, chestnut hair. Though Duo looked a lot like their father, no one could say that Duo's odd violet eyes were anyone's but his.

“How do you three know each other?” Duo asked, “I know that Quatre and Trowa met when they were kids and Quatre went to the circus and Trowa was performing there,” Duo said for Heero's benefit, who looked interested at the mention of the tall boy being an ex-circus performer, “but how are you guys and Wufei friends?”

To Heero and Duo's amusement, Trowa started to laugh, a strained and rare sound, but beautiful, Wufei looked ashamed, and Quatre blushed, which was slightly startling with his pale complexion.

“Ok, there has to be a good story there,” Duo said. Trowa grinned.

“We went to the same middle school together.”

Wufei groaned.

“Barton…” he warned.

“Our middle school was under construction that year, so the third graders got to go to the middle school a year early. Quatre and I, as you said, Duo, had already known each other. Well, on Quatre's first day, he backed into Wufei at lunch and spilled Wufei's food all over him. Wufei beat him up.”

Heero and Duo's eyes were wide as they heard the tale. Wufei groaned again.

“I was such a stupid… punk back then!” Wufei bemoaned, “I was in fifth grade and I had just moved here with my family from California but because of my looks everyone assumed I was from China and got picked on all the time. I had to prove that I wasn't a push over just to make the bullying stop and since then, everyone's been afraid of me,” Wufei explained with a strange mix of pride and shame in his voice. Duo nodded.

“Everyone in my middle school thought that I was weak because I look a bit… feminine. Even after I proved that I could take care of myself, people continued to make that distinction for the three months that I was there. It drove me up the wall, all the bullying and fighting.”

“Then, what happened?” Quatre asked with wide eyes.

“I showed up at his school,” Heero said, “and I told everyone that the next person to pick on my little brother would learn that the `touch of death' was indeed a real thing.”

Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre stared at the blue eyed boy in shock, not noticing Duo as he tried to contain his laughter.

“You know martial arts?” Trowa asked.

“No,” Heero said slyly, “they just assumed that because I looked Asian, I would know how to fight.”

Wufei laughed.

“But how did you become friends if you beat up Quatre?”

Wufei shrugged.

“I found out that I had blown the whole thing out of proportion, apologized profusely, and explained why I had done what I did. When Trowa refused to forgive me for beating up his best friend, I followed the two of them around until they finally either forgave me or paid me back for the injustice I had done to Quatre.”

“Oh, great,” Duo grumbled, “just what I need, another stubborn male.”

Heero grinned.

“You know you love us.”

The five of them laughed as Duo swatted his brother over the head with his (now very heavy) book bag. They walked to school in a cluster, Quatre pointing out various restaurants that Heero and Duo could afford to visit and Wufei told them stories of their days during middle school. Duo listened to him with great interest. He had not had friends in middle school and wondered what it would have been like if he had gone to school here. After being picked on for so long, he had a hard time trusting his so-called `classmates'. Some were terrified of his brother, others wanted to cozy up to him to be friends with his very attractive, very aloof older brother, and others still thought that he was bullying material, though he was now off limits and refused to be seen with him. After a little while, he had gained a few acquaintances that he had hung out with, but he had never felt very close to them. He was glad to see that he wasn't the only one in this strange group that had been bullied. Duo suddenly realized that with Trowa, Wufei, and Heero at his side, no one would dare to do anything at this school and wasn't sure if he liked that or not. It was nice to have some security at the same time he neither liked to have his friends fight his battles nor wanted them to think he only wanted them to be friends because he was using them. He liked Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei. Trowa and Quatre were the first real friends he had ever had. Before even knowing him, they had reached out and tried to make him feel better. Quatre was so bright and kind, and Trowa, though quiet, was just as kind and when he looked at the tall senior, he realized that Trowa had something in his eyes that reminded him of himself. Wufei was strong willed and honorable, reminding Duo greatly of Heero.

“So, no one still talks to you at school?” Duo asked Wufei.

“Yes. With the exception of you two, all of the people at this school, I went to middle school with. They remember that I am unapproachable and… volatile. In fact, I believe that they will be shocked that you two are talking to me,” Wufei smirked, “why you are, I don't know.”

Heero shrugged.

“Just because you are tough, it doesn't make you a bully.” Heero said.

“You seem like a good person,” Duo said quietly, “not many people have the strength of character to admit when they're wrong and not many juniors would be willing to befriend freshmen.”

Wufei snorted.

“That whole age-class system is ridiculous,” he muttered, “I do not see any point to hazing, it only creates a greater rift between the underclassmen and upperclassmen.”

“You just… don't seem scary to me,” Duo said. Wufei looked at him, shocked, and ruffled the younger boy's hair, much to Duo's annoyance. There was something about the violet eyed boy that spiked Wufei's protective instincts. There was something in those eyes that was vulnerable and dark at the same time there was also a deep strength that just begged to be brought out and Wufei vowed to be the one to do that. After all, it wasn't everyday a freshman told him he `didn't seem scary.'

“Is Relena scared of you, too?” Heero asked, amused at the thought of a confident girl like Relena scared of Wufei. True, the boy seemed fierce and exotically distant from their other classmates, but Duo was right, from what he had seen so far, Wufei wasn't so scary. Hell, their mother was scarier than the Chinese-American boy!

Wufei made an odd choking noise at the mention of Heero's new girlfriend.

“That woman…” he muttered, “don't ask me questions about that girl.”

Heero stared at him, puzzled. What could Wufei have against the sweet girl?

The school loomed ahead of them and for a brief moment Duo worried that perhaps this new, odd group they had created would disperse once they entered the school grounds. He had seen it often enough, groups of friends that only existed on the outside because they were too ashamed to be seen with each other in the alien world of `school'. However, they stayed close to each other. It was so strange, he had never thought that finding people he genuinely liked would be so easy. Duo wondered if he was so lonely that creating such friendships was automatic or if there was something special about these boys.

 

*****

 

The pleasant conversation they had been having about the newest crime drama Wufei had seen and how impractical it was, quickly stopped as they reached Heero and Duo's locker and saw that Relena Darlian was waiting for them, or rather, Heero.

“Good morning, Relena,” Quatre said diplomatically. Relena looked at him for a moment, her eyes suddenly cold and a little bit surprised, as though she couldn't imagine why Quatre would ever speak to her. Then, her eyes fell on Heero and her whole demeanor changed.

“Heero!” She said happily, her whole face lighting up. Heero was momentarily taken back by her expression. He was only used to Duo greeting him that way, so he completely forgot how rude the girl had been a few seconds earlier.

“Hi, Relena,” he said with a soft smile. Quatre watched Duo carefully and frowned when he saw Duo looking away from Heero and Relena.

“I have to talk to you for a minute,” the blonde girl said, grabbing Heero's hand and pulling him away from his friends and brother. Duo watched him go with a subdued look in his eyes. Wufei put a hand on his shoulder.

“Sooner or later your brother will learn a few things about the reality of that woman. He seems smart, so I'm sure that he won't be led astray merely by a pretty smile. Until then, it is natural to feel a bit… displaced. Give it a few days and you're bound to feel better about the changes,” Wufei said.

Duo blinked at Wufei's cryptic comments but nodded. He didn't fully understand what he was saying, but it made him feel better anyway. Still, he felt jealous at how Relena had just pulled Heero away to do who knows what and Heero hadn't even said goodbye. But, he remembered the promise Heero had given him, that Duo would always be the most important thing in his life and that no girl, no matter how charming and pretty, would change that. Duo smirked. Besides, he had seen sides of Heero that that woman never would, he thought triumphantly. Relena Darlian might have Heero kisses for now, but he had his tears and screams and laughter, and Relena would never be able to say that.

“We'll meet you in gym, ok?” Quatre waved as he and Trowa left for their own lockers, each in a different direction. Duo waved back and turned to fiddle with his own lock, but Wufei stood next to him.

“You know who the Winners are, don't you?” Wufei asked. Duo shrugged.

“Quatre told me that his family is rich.”

Wufei's brown eyes narrowed.

“You're not upset by that?”

Duo looked at him, trying to read what Wufei's real thoughts were.

“If you're asking if the reason why we're friends is because he's loaded, the answer is no,” Duo turned back to his locker and stashed some of his heavier books inside, “Quatre was the first person at this school to be nice to me. He didn't know me, but he talked to me. At that moment, I knew that he was a good person and that I wanted to be his friend. He didn't tell me about his family until later. Money doesn't hold much sway for me.”

Wufei nodded.

“Good, because I like you and Trowa and Quatre like you, too. It would suck if I would have to teach you some manners. I have absolutely no patience for people like that.”

Duo smirked.

“Don't worry, if I ever become that shallow, I give you my express permission to beat me up.”

Wufei clapped him on the back.

“See you at lunch.”

Duo stared at him in confusion, then schooled his expression.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot, you only have classes with Heero. See ya, then.”

Wufei left and Duo closed his locker. Heero still hadn't showed up. Duo sighed. He had a feeling that it was going to be a long day; he could feel a headache coming on.

 

*****

 

Heero allowed himself to be pulled into an empty classroom by his girlfriend and even shut the door behind him. He remembered in his last high school how girls would bring their boyfriends into classrooms and make out with them, but Relena had said that she wanted to talk. But, then again, what else would she say in front of other people. But Relena didn't seem like the type of girl to do that. Suddenly, it hit him. He had a girlfriend now and as a boyfriend, he would be required to do all sorts of intimate things with her. Why did that thought scare him so much? He should be excited at the thought of a beautiful girl luring him into an empty room to be `intimate', yet he would much rather just talk. He wondered if it was because he was nervous. This was, after all, the first relationship he had ever had. He had had no use for girls in high school or middle school and had, for the most part, just ignored them. Sex was a mystery to him, he knew that it was supposed to be something that he, as a teenage boy, thought about all the time, but it was also something that he was only familiar with in his dreams and by the time he awoke, he remembered very little of those dreams, only that they had been very intense, making him occasionally wake up with an erection that he would banish with uncomfortable thoughts and a cold shower. It was an embarrassing thing to admit, he was seventeen and he had only kissed. Once. And he wasn't exactly sure that he could tell anyone about that kiss, no he was positive of that. `I'm sorry, I'm a total virgin, but I did kiss my little brother once when he was six!' That wouldn't go over very well.

He came out of his thoughts as he realized that Relena was staring at the back of his hand, specifically at the burn there.

“Heero, how did this happen?” She demanded. Heero pulled his hand out of hers.

“It's just a dumb kid thing,” he reassured her. She looked at him uneasily, but let it go.

“You wanted to talk to me?” He asked. Relena bit her lip, clearly uncomfortable.

“Heero, why were you with Quatre Winner and Trowa Barton this morning?” She blurted out.

“Well, they're my brother's friends and now… I guess they're my friends now, too,” Heero said, perplexed, “why?”

Relena frowned.

“You can't be friends with those two or Wufei, either,” she said, flicking her long blonde hair over her shoulder. Heero narrowed his eyes and she froze, sensing the danger in those blue eyes.

“And why is that?” He managed to say with a bare minimum of hostility. Relena paled, realizing that she had upset him, but couldn't figure out why.

“They're… last year, they did something really, really horrible! Because of Quatre's father,” she spat, “no one talks about it, but it happened nonetheless! And you just can't hang out with those people! I don't want you to think that I'm being cruel, but I'm just looking out for you, Heero. If you're brother wants to get caught up with them, that's fine, it isn't normal for one to be around one's little brother so much, anyway.”

Heero's eyes hardened.

“Relena,” he said coldly, “I like you, I really do, but don't you dare presume to tell me what to do!”

Relena took a step back away from him and the cold fury that was radiating from him.

“I've spent my whole life being ordered around by my mother, and you are certainly not her! I will hang out with my brother if I please and who I befriend is none of your business! If you honestly can stand there and order my around and not see anything wrong with that, then I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work out between us.”

Heero felt bad when Relena started to cry, but he kept going anyway.

“You can't even give me a real reason why Quatre and Trowa are such bad people. I've done terrible things, too, yet you seem to like me just fine. I'm going to go to class now and I will talk to who I please without your permission,” Heero spun on his heel, marching out of the classroom and slamming the door behind him. As he left, Relena's expression changed from the broken hearted, sweet girl to one of cold frustration. Her hands curled into fists. Heero had left. He had broken up… with her. No, she smiled, she had misjudged him, but that didn't matter. Before the end of the day she would make things right again. Heero Yuy would come back to her, she was sure of it.

 

*****

 

Heero refused to talk about what he and Relena had done or talked about, but Duo could tell he was mad. Not at him, thankfully, but through the entire day, fury seemed to boil underneath his cool exterior. He broke pencils, through the basketball in gym a little too hard, and had seemed sullen in classes. When he was with Duo and one of their new friends in between classes, he was slightly calmer and more receptive, as though he was making up for something, but Duo didn't pry. He knew that sooner or later, Heero would tell him. They were terrible at keeping secrets from each other. The cafeteria was crowded as always, but as Wufei joined them, the crowd gave them a few feet of space. It was amusing to watch, even as they were given wide eyed stares and people whispered to each other as the five of them sat down together.

“I'm sorry about this,” Wufei muttered. Duo smiled at him.

“Just ignore them, I am.”

With that, the mood at their table lifted and Heero and Trowa watched in amusement as Quatre, Duo, and Wufei started to duel each other with their French fries. It wasn't until Duo managed to catapult some ketchup on Heero's cheek using one of his fries that the other two joined in.

Heero stopped playing when he saw a boy stop behind Wufei.

“Hey, killer, finally find some new victims, huh?”

Wufei turned on his seat to look at the boy.

“Go away, Zeke,” he snarled. The boy, who was a good foot taller than Wufei with brown eyes and slightly spiky brown hair that was streaked a pale green, just grinned down at him.

“Was'sa matter, chink? Don't ya know you don't scare me like all these puppy dogs?” His brown eyes moved to Trowa and Quatre, “and if it ain't the poofters! I guess killer, here, is the only one that would be brave enough to sit next to you! Hey, killer, you gone over to the dark side?” the obnoxious boy sneered. Heero watched in confusion as their three new friends just looked at each other with annoyed expressions but didn't try to make the boy leave. Then, those sharp brown eyes fell on his little brother and Heero felt his blood turn cold. Duo stiffened as he felt a large hand grip his shoulder.

“Well, aren't you the cutest little thing. Darlin', if you ever get tired of these sick fucks, you can always hang out at my table,” a hot voice whispered in his ear. Heero's blood turned from ice to fire and it took every ounce of self restraint not to leap over the table and beat the ever loving crap out of this officious prick. Duo grabbed Zeke's hand on his shoulder and twisted it, making the taller boy cry out in pain.

“Touch me again and I'll show you just how much of a `sick fuck' I can be,” Duo released his hand and the green haired boy stumbled back, looking at his wrist as bruises started to form. The boy looked like a princess, but he was strong!

“Now, you heard Wufei, be a good little boy and shoo,” Duo said, returning to his meal, dismissing Zeke without so much as a glance. Zeke glared at him, but the look in Heero's eyes stopped him and he retreated.

Heero, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei stared at Duo in shock as he munched on his fries as though nothing had happened. Heero had never seen his brother like that before. It made him feel excited, his chest tight, and his blood pumping. Duo always was so subdued, usually when he was picked on, he didn't fight back. But, Zeke had been picking on his friends, too, Heero realized, and Duo had never had any serious friends to defend so maybe this was a natural reaction.

“We usually just ignore him,” Quatre explained, “for the past year he's been bullying us, but it never seemed worth the effort to fight back.”

Heero remembered Relena's words, `last year they did something really, really horrible' and he couldn't help but feel curious, but didn't say anything.

Wufei snorted.

“It was worth it now seeing the look on his face,” Wufei patted Duo's arm, “thank you.”

Duo shrugged, but blushed.

“I just hate guys like that. He had no right to say those things.”

“All five of us should do something over the weekend!” Quatre said suddenly, “I've already invited Duo over, but it'll be even more fun if all of us were there!”

Duo seemed to perk up at that thought.

“Your father won't be there?” Trowa asked. Quatre shook his head.

“He'll be gone for the weekend.”

Duo wondered what was so bad about having his father there.

“I'm game,” Wufei said, “I have to tell my grandparents, but I'm sure they'll agree.”

“Me, too,” Trowa said, “Cathy won't be happy about it, but she seldom is happy about anything. I'm sure I can sneak over for the weekend.”

Heero looked at Duo.

“You sure we can go? I doubt Mom will be happy about it.”

Duo rolled his eyes.

“I bet that we could disappear right now and she wouldn't notice.”

Trowa and Wufei looked at the pair sadly, but Quatre knew what that was like. Duo looked at Heero oddly.

“Besides, Heero, you have that date with Relena, remember?”

Heero almost smacked himself in the head. He had gotten so caught up with his friends he had forgotten all about her.

“Actually,” he admitted, “I might not go at all.”

The four of them looked at Heero in surprise.

“She's kind of clingy and we just had a big fight… to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I want to be her boyfriend anymore.”

Duo smiled brightly and Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei shared a knowing look. At least that was one good thing about his fight with Relena, Heero thought, he could make his brother and friends happy. He knew that she made Duo uncomfortable, but why did the other three dislike her so much? He wasn't sure that having a girlfriend that his friends didn't like was a good idea.

“Well, if you two do end up together, don't let her boss you around, Heero,” Quatre warned him, “she loves controlling people and is very bossy.”

Trowa gave him a warning look. Heero looked at the blonde with wide, shocked eyes.

“But, she doesn't seem like the type of person that would do that…” Heero said, unsure. Quatre didn't seem like the type of person to lie, either and Relena had tried to order him around earlier…

“She's a true politician,” Quatre said cryptically, “how she looks and how she really is… only a handful of people will ever know.”

If possible, Heero looked even more confused.

“But… I don't think she's that bossy…”

Heero's mind wandered to that night, years ago when his mother had caught him touching Duo and had burned his hand. She had said that she wanted what was best for him, but that was what was going through Relena's mind, too, right? Just because she claimed she wanted what was best for him didn't mean that she wouldn't hurt him. Heero caught Duo looking at him in concern and had to look away. He couldn't bear to think of that night with his brother only two feet away. What if Duo knew what he was thinking? That was absurd, of course, but Heero couldn't help but feel ashamed and nervous about thinking such secret thoughts here in front of everyone. Such things belonged in the privacy of his room, late at night, and nowhere else.

“I'm not Relena,” he heard Quatre say and looked at him, “I won't tell you who you can date.”

Heero blushed when he realized that Quatre knew exactly what he and Relena had discussed.

“But I will give you this piece of advice: don't get swept up by her charm,” with that, Quatre continued eating, telling Heero that he wasn't going to interfere any further. Heero was confused by the comment, but was also relieved that Quatre seemed to understand just what had been bothering him. That was the difference between his friends and Relena, she expected him to do what she told him to do and they let him come to his own conclusions. If that was any indication for the sort of relationship he would have had with her, perhaps it was a good thing they had had a fight so early in their relationship.

 

*****

 

Home Ec, Heero decided, was clearly a torture session for males, or rather, males like him. Sewing, cooking… how on earth did women have an understanding of these things when he couldn't even understand the words they used? He would never survive as a husband, he decided. Duo, on the other hand, while he struggled with the sewing, had the cooking down, but since he did it so much at home, Heero wasn't surprised. They each had their own stations, which were assigned alphabetically, so he and Duo were together once again. Heero didn't mind at all. He was sure that it was Duo's skills alone that would get him a passing grade. There were three people a station and the other person was a petit blonde named Sylvia who could sew pretty well, but was even worse than Heero at cooking and she never followed the teacher's instructions with what she sewed, claiming that handkerchief's were the only thing worthy for a girl to sew. At this Duo would roll his eyes and make a joke that he would learn how to sew just so he could sew her into a couch. So, when a tall blonde girl that Heero had never seen before approached their station, he was on alert. That alert only grew at the sight of her forked eyebrows(2) and strange, dusty blue colored eyes.

“Heero Yuy?”

Duo watched her out of the corner of his eye, but continued to chop carrots for the stew that they were supposed to be making.

“Yes?” Heero asked. The girl smiled at him, but it didn't quite meet her eyes.

“I have a message for you from Relena.”

Heero sighed and Duo's back stiffened at the sound of her name.

“Give it to me,” he said in a bored tone. The girl didn't seem putout by his attitude and instead smiled wider.

“She wants to meet you after school to discuss what happened this morning,” she said sweetly. Heero thought about it. Did he really want to meet with Relena again? He was positive that she would try to win him back and he wasn't totally positive he wanted to have her back. Sure, he knew absolutely nothing about her and it probably wasn't fair to dismiss her after only one day, but Quatre's words stuck with him.

“Alright, I'll meet with her,” Heero said and watched as the blonde flitted off to wherever she had come from. He turned back to Duo, who was chopping the carrots a bit harder than he had been before. Heero sighed again.

“You're mad at me.”

Duo shook his head and stopped chopping. Sylvia watched them from where she was making the broth.

“I just don't like the idea of this girl having this much pull over you.”

“She doesn't,” Heero protested. Duo looked him in the eye.

“No? Then why is it the second she asks to meet with you, you jump?”

If anyone else had said such a thing, Heero would have punched them.

“I just want to be fair to her,” Heero explained, “if she wants to apologize, I should give her the chance to.”

“Promise me something.”

“Alright.”

“Promise me that you're trying so hard with this girl because you really want to be with her, not because you feel you have to.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Heero snapped, “of course I want to be with her! Why else would I be doing this?!”

Duo looked at him with an odd expression that Heero just couldn't read.

“Ok, then meet her today. But, Heero, you have to be honest with her, but mostly be honest with yourself.”

Heero huffed. He was so sick of people being so cryptic with him today. Relena knew something about Quatre and Trowa, but wouldn't say what except that it was something `really, really horrible', Quatre knew something about Relena, but only said that she was `a true politician', and now Duo knew something about himself but only told him to `be honest'. How the fuck could he be honest when he had no idea what Duo was talking about?!

Heero took a deep breath and reined in his anger. This was Duo, after all, and he had always had problems understanding his logic.

“Duo, I promise you that I'll be honest with her. I also promise that, even if we do patch things up, I'll be at Quatre's Friday.”

Duo seemed to relax a little.

“Alright,” he said, unsure, “but don't cut your date short just because of me.”

Heero smirked.

“No problem, squirt.”

Duo growled at the pet name and flicked a piece of carrot at him, which got stuck on Heero's cheek. Heero picked it off and through it in the sink.

“Nice shot. I don't know how long this thing with Relena will last, so don't wait up for me.”

“If Quatre's driver doesn't show, we can walk home together,” Duo said, disappointed that Heero wouldn't walk home with him. This felt so wrong. He was actually telling Heero things that would result in him dating that… girl. That and he didn't like the idea of Heero being alone with her. He felt nauseous at the thought of him just kissing her… let alone the other stuff.

 

*****

 

Walking home with Quatre instead of his brother felt like a betrayal of sorts, but it wasn't unpleasant. Quatre immediately noticed that there was something on Duo's mind.

“What's wrong?” Quatre asked him.

“There's something wrong with Heero,” Duo said, “I think he's unhappy.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Well, I can understand why he got so mad at Relena, but breaking up with her seemed a little harsh. He started dating her without even getting to know her and now he's thinking of getting back together with her just as easily. It's like he can't make up his mind. Also, he said that he would be with us Friday instead of being with her. Isn't that strange? I mean, I'd never date someone unless I really, really liked them and if I liked them, I'd want to spend as much time as I could with them, right?”

Quatre nodded, his eyes far off as if he was thinking of something far away.

“But Heero seems hesitant about this date and wants to spend time with us instead. It's just weird. I don't think he's very happy with her.”

“He could also just be nervous,” Quatre said, playing the devil's advocate, “if he hasn't dated a lot, he could be nervous to make a good impression. He could want to be with us instead because it's something that he's more familiar with.”

Duo nodded.

“Yeah, Heero's never been on a date before, to my knowledge.”

“Eh?!” Quatre asked in shock, “that's really surprising. I mean, Heero seems like the type of guy that would have a ton of girls hanging off of him whether he likes it or not,” Quatre eyed his friend, “but then again, so do you. Have you ever been on a date?”

Duo blushed.

“Well, Heero has had a lot of admirers, but he's never dated any of them. Neither have I.”

Quatre shook his head.

“That's so sad. I'm not hitting on you or anything, but yesterday I told you that you were beautiful and I meant it. You are very attractive and I assumed at first that you were jealous because a pretty girl noticed your brother before you, then I found out that it was the opposite!”

Duo bit his lip.

“At first I told myself that I didn't like the idea of Heero dating Relena because there was something about her that I didn't like. I still don't like or trust her, but I think it goes beyond that. The idea of him dating anyone makes me feel weird.”

Quatre smiled at him.

“Jealousy is a very natural emotion. I get the feeling from you two that you're very close. So, I imagine that you feel like you're being left behind. Here the two of you are; new state, new town, new school, and on the very first day, your brother gets a girlfriend. I know that that would make me feel jealous. I gave you that cell phone to show you that you don't have to feel alone and I meant it. My mother died when I was a baby,” Quatre admitted, his voice solemn, “and a few years ago, my dad started to date women. I hated each and every one of them and when he brought them to our home, I felt this rage inside of me. I was angry at these strange women invading my mother's space, despite the fact that I had never met my mother and only knew what she looked like from photographs. When my dad started to take them out to dinner, I felt so jealous that my time with my father was taken away from me. I should have been happy that he was trying to move on with his life instead of wallowing in grief, but I wasn't. I realized that I would rather that he spend his days alone and miserable instead of dating strange women. I felt horrible for thinking that way, but it was just the way I felt.”

Duo listened to him, wide eyed.

“So, eventually you got over it?”

Quatre laughed bitterly.

“No, even to this day, if a woman comes over to our house, whether it is a business partner or a maid, I feel that rage. My father stopped dating after four months, so I never really got over it, he just stopped doing it.”

Duo looked at the ground guiltily as they walked. So, these feelings would never go away? He didn't think how he would be able to live if he felt so angry and bitter all the time!

As they walked, the road dipped down hill and Duo could see the shimmering surface of the lake off in the distance. Near the lake was a white house with a porch that was so close to the lake, he was sure that anyone who lived out there would be greeted by the smell of the water and trees on the other side of the lake every morning when they awoke. Quatre watched as Duo's eyes got a dreamy quality to them and he couldn't help but smile at the almost child-like expression.

“It's for sale, you know.”

Duo looked away from the house.

“So?” He said. Quatre said.

“It's ok to want things. Besides, one day you'll have a house like that, so why are you so sad?”

 

//A letter to my future self

Am I still happy? I began

Have I grown up pretty?

Is Daddy still a good man?

Am I still friends with Colleen?

I'm sure that I'm still laughing

Aren't I?// (3)

 

 

“Something like that… it isn't for me,” Duo murmured. As they walked, the street became level once more and both the house and the lake vanished from sight.

 

//Aren't I?//

 

“Well, what do you think of when you think of your future?” Quatre asked curiously.

 

//Hey there to my future self

If you forget how to smile

I have this to tell you

Remember it once in a while

Ten years ago your past self

Prayed for you happiness

Please don't lose hope//

 

“I don't.”

Quatre stared at him. Who didn't think of the future, especially at their age?! Hell, with all the lectures and visits to guidance counselors, it was impossible not to think of the future, at least up to college.

“Why not?”

 

//Oh, oh what a pair, me and you

Put here to feel joy, not be blue

Sad times and bad times---see them through

Soon we will know if it's for real

What we both feel//

 

Because I don't deserve to have a future.

 

//Though I can't know for sure how things worked out for us

No matter how hard it gets, you have to realize

We weren't put on this earth to suffer and cry

We were made for being happy

So be happy—for me, for you

Please//

 

“It depresses me,” Duo said. Quatre looked at him at the odd statement.

 

I don't deserve that house, Duo thought, not after what happened. I can't bury the past and I can't pretend that it isn't my fault. My mom, Heero, they're suffering because of me, so I have to suffer, too.

 

They dropped the subject anyway and when they passed by an old woman who was selling kittens by the side of the road, Duo seemed better, going over to play with the little things. Quatre couldn't help but smile seeing Duo brighten at the playful creatures.

“They're free,” the woman said and Duo frowned, putting the black kitten he had been playing with back into the box.

“My mother hates cats,” he said sadly. The women smiled kindly at him.

“Well, if she changes her mind, they'll be here.”

He nodded and he and Quatre continued to walk, but now Duo was even more subdued than normal. Quatre had the sudden urge to run back and take all of the kittens, just to cheer Duo up, but it wasn't his place.

“I've always wanted a cat,” Duo said.

“I'm sorry, Duo. If my dad didn't hate pets, I'd say that I'd keep it at my house, but…”

Duo shook his head.

“I couldn't ask that of you.”

Quatre made a mental note to ask Trowa if his sister liked cats. He would get Duo to smile, sooner or later.

“Well, I'm sure that my dad has cooled off by now, so I can give you a ride tomorrow if you like.”

“No thanks, Kat, I like walking with Heero,” Duo assured him. Quatre smiled at the nickname. It was much better than some of the names his classmates called him or the sugary sweet names his sisters bestowed on him.

 

Why would a boy who has his own limo bother with a guy like me who can't even get his mother to drive him to school? Duo wondered.

 

As they got closer to the fork in the road where Quatre would have to leave him, Duo's book bag got heavier and heavier as he remembered what was in it.

“Quat, can I ask you for a favor?”

Quatre nodded. Duo took out the photo album from his bag. From the way he cradled it gently, Quatre could tell that it was important.

“Can you take this from me?”

Quatre didn't ask any questions, he was bright enough not to. He knew that Duo loved the album very much and he remembered that Duo had mentioned that he had had a fight with his mother that morning. He could add two and two together, it was just that this time it was taking him a bit longer to reach four, right now all he knew was that it did not equal one or two. Still, he didn't ask why Duo seemed to need to protect the album, he just accepted that Duo needed this favor from him.

“I'll take good care of it,” he promised. He watched as Duo opened it and clicked open the spiral holding the pages together, taking out a page of photos and slipping it into his jacket. He then closed the binding and handed Quatre the book. Quatre put this information into his mind for later speculation.

“I'll see you tomorrow, ok?” Quatre waved as he started to walk down his own street, the album tucked securely under his arm. Duo waved back.

“See ya!” Duo turned down his own street and they parted for the day.

 

*****

 

Duo had barely enough time to open the door and take off his shoes before his mother appeared in the hall and started in on him.

“Where the hell is it?!” she snarled. Duo shrugged.

“I don't have it,” he said truthfully. She grabbed his arm and yanked his book bag from him, but he didn't protest.

There's no point, he thought with triumphant glee, I don't have it anymore.

Eliza dumped the contents of his bag on the floor and panted with rage. It wasn't here… that was impossible! Heero… his brother had to have it! She gripped Duo's shirt and slammed him against the wall, a part of her crowing happily as his head cracked against it.

“Where the fuck is it?!” she screeched. Duo realized that she had gone completely insane. Well, it wasn't the first time he had made someone go insane. She wrapped a hand around his neck and squeezed.

“Tell me!”

Duo gasped for breath, but didn't fight back. There was no point, he had no desire to fight her anymore and Heero wasn't around to save him this time. (4)

 

 

*****

 

“If you think that you can order me around like some child, then it's obviously a bad idea for us to date,” Heero told Relena.

Great, now she's crying again, Heero thought, exasperated. He probably should have comforted her, that's what he would have done for Duo, even if he had screwed up, but mostly he was just annoyed by her tears. He wanted them to stop. He thought about how melodramatic teenage girls were. They had only known each other for two days, so she couldn't possibly love him.

“I-I'm so so-orry,” she sobbed, “I just want what's best for you.”

There was that phrase again, but he ignored it. She had apologized, after all and he was sure that in a situation like this, a good boyfriend would take her back, even though he really didn't want to.

“I forgive you, but I refuse to be given orders no matter what your intentions are, if you pull anything like that again, we're done,” he turned to leave, but she grabbed at his sleeve.

“W-will you still go out with me on Friday?” she asked.

“Yes,” Heero said and watched her pretty blue eyes light up, but he preferred the odd blue violet of Duo's eyes to her crystal ones. That color appeared almost see through, but Duo's color was deeper, endless, really, but it wouldn't have looked good on her like it looked on his brother.

“However,” Heero continued, “Quatre has invited my brother, Trowa, Wufei, and myself to his house for the weekend, so I will be cutting the date short.”

Pain sparked in her eyes and for a brief moment it looked like something else, something familiar, like rage… but that couldn't be, Relena was too sweet to be so angry over such a little thing.

“Please, don't, Heero!” she bit her lip as she realized that she had been about to order him not to go, to spend the weekend with her, instead. Wasn't that what boyfriends were supposed to do? Instead he was staying with his little brother of all people and those… those…

“No,” Heero said sternly as though he was lecturing a child. This time he left and Relena didn't stop him. Her face contorted into a look of raw anger. Why did his brother have such a pull on him?! It was unnatural! She was blonde, but she was no fool, she knew that Heero was going over to that nasty boy's house because of his brother, the question was: why? Why be with his freaky little brother when he could be with a beautiful girl? She just couldn't figure it out, but she would. Oh, yes, and when she did, she would make sure that Duo Maxwell never came between them again.

 

*****

 

It was lonely and strange walking home without Duo. The walk wasn't very long, but by the time he was halfway there, he wished that he had some company. When they were younger, Duo would talk his ear off about the most inane things. It was strange how you missed stuff like that when it was gone. Duo didn't talk so much anymore. He didn't smile. He wasn't hyper, either. He was still bright and still fun to be around, but since their childhood, something vital had been ripped out of him and though he had been trying for years to get it back, Heero didn't think that he was the right person for the job, it was just so hard… but he would never stop trying.

Heero stopped as he saw an old woman selling kittens by the side of the road.

 

“Kitten!” Duo squealed and started to walk over to the stray tabby cat that was standing in their driveway.

“Duo, don't!” Heero cried and grabbed the child's arm.

“But why?” Duo asked, confused.

“Because he might scratch you!”

Duo just looked at him in confusion.

“So?” Duo broke free of his grip and continued, cautiously towards the cat. Heero sighed. Ever since the incident with the dog, Duo had been terrified of dogs, but cats were still free game for the little boy's interest in animals. However, as Duo got close, the cat finally realized that it was being stalked and ran off. Duo stood in the driveway, watching as it ran away, tears collecting in his violet eyes. He sniffed.

`So easily wounded,' Heero thought in affection.

“It's ok,” Heero said and wrapped his arms around Duo.

“Why can't we have a cat?” Duo asked, his voice choked with the effort not to cry.

“'Cause Mommy says so. Don't worry, you'll have a cat when you're older.”

Duo turned in Heero's arms and stared up at him, his eyes wide at the thought of owning his very own cat.

 

 

 

Heero smiled and walked up to the woman.

“How much for the kittens?”

The old woman grinned at him, her eyes narrowing in slyness as she saw him.

“They're free, dear.”

Heero raised his eyebrow at that. In his experience, nothing in life was free.

“The cat toys, food, and proof of ownership is twenty bucks,” she said, grinning wider.

Ah, of course. He almost rolled his eyes.

“Only twenty bucks?” he asked. His eyes moved to a plastic bag that was next to her. There were several of them, actually, one for each cat, but they were stuff to the brim. He was sure that that stuff was more than twenty dollars. She winked at him.

“You take a cat and tell the braided cutie that it's a gift from Mamma Rosa, alright?”

Heero stared at her in shock.

“How?”

“Honey, I've been livin' here for sixty years and I know every a face in this town. When I see such cute faces like yours and your brothers, I remember them. Especially one so sad as his.”

Heero sighed mentally. She knew how to sell. The mere mention of Duo being sad at not being able to get a kitten made any pretense of money and his mother's anger go out the window. She could have named any price and he would have bent over backwards to pay it. He rooted in his book bag for his wallet and took out twenty dollars.

“Thank you,” he said. She handed him one of the bags.

“You'll have to get that filled out. It ain't necessary unless you got a dog instead of a cat, but in case you need to take it to the vet or it gets lost, it's a good thing to have. Just have your brother pick a name; none of this `Pookie' or `Mittens' shit, either, and he'll need to sign at the bottom, then ya just drop it off at the town hall, done and done.”

Heero nodded. He looked at the kittens in the box. A tiny black one, the smallest of the litter stumbled towards him, barely able to keep upright on its four legs. As soon as it got to the edge of the box, it fell onto its stomach. Heero smirked. The kitten looked up at him as it struggled to its feet and mewed at him. He could see what Duo saw in the little beasts, they were quite cute.

“That one's a girl,” the woman said with a knowing smile. Heero realized that, somehow, this woman had known which one he would pick. He picked the cat up in one hand and cradled it against his body.

“Thank you,” he said again and, bag of cat toys and food in one hand and kitten the other, he made his way back onto the street. The old woman smirked and waved.

 

*****

 

“Answer me!” Heero heard his mother screaming on the street and ran. Shit! He had totally forgotten about his promise to himself to watch out for Duo after school. He was such an ass! He ran through the door and saw his mother pinning his little brother to the wall and screaming in his face.

“You will give me that album so I can fix this family!” She screeched.

“Stop it!” Heero yelled and through her off of Duo, careful of the living creature in his hand that was squirming and scratching at him, realizing that a fight was going down and she wanted nothing to do with it. Duo slid to the floor, looking dazed.

“Heero?” he murmured, looking confused that Heero had suddenly appeared.

“It's just an album!” Heero snapped at her, standing in front of Duo like a shield, “You'll never find it, so back off.” Heero saw papers and textbooks scattered on the floor, but no album and realized that the only logical answer was that Duo had followed his advice and gotten rid of it before he came home, probably giving it to Quatre. He once again felt that annoying heat inside of him at the thought that Duo trusted the blonde boy with something so personal, but he shook it off. It was just because he was afraid of what would happen to it and Quatre has proved to be trustful so far, he told himself.

Eliza seemed to calm and looked at him coldly. She flicked her brown hair over her shoulder in a way that reminded Heero of Relena.

“You're right, it doesn't matter. In the end, that bitch is dead, isn't she? That's the greatest victory of all, I suppose.”

Duo was suddenly on his feet and in her face so quickly that Heero had thought he had teleported. Duo slapped her. Heero stared, frozen to the spot as their mother's head snapped to the side, a hand print starting to bruise on her face and blood slid down the corner of her mouth. She laughed.

“Your little friend will always be dead and it's your fault for what you did to him! You killed her!” Eliza laughed madly. Duo stepped away from her, the color draining from his face.

“No!” he cried and fled up the steps. Eliza watched him go in triumph. Then, she finally saw the cat and her gaze turned furious again.

“Get that fucking thing out of my house.”

“If you don't want your other cheek to match that one, then I suggest you shut up.”

Eliza paused, regarding the righteous anger in Heero's deep blue eyes with caution.

“This is Duo's cat. It will be living here from now on. If anything happens to her, well, there are laws against animal cruelty in this state.”

Eliza choked out a laugh.

“You'll call the police on me for hurting vermin? You wouldn't dare!”

“No?” Heero said and she froze, realizing just how serious he was, “you have yet to give me a reason not to. And if she disappears, if you throw her out of the house or anything like that, well, that won't matter. Duo and I will find her each and ever time.”

Eliza gritted her teeth as she realized that the newest addition to their `family' was inevitable. Heero breezed past her and up the stairs.

 

*****

 

Heero's victory over his mother was short lived as he walked into Duo's room and saw his brother sitting on the floor, his arms wrapped around his legs, rocking, and looking past Heero at something that only he could see. His eyes were glazed over and his face was white. Heero swore. Not again! He placed the cat gently on the floor and kneeled down in front of his brother, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him.

“Duo, wake up! C'mon, honey, you have to come back to me!”

Duo kept staring and rocking as though Heero wasn't there and, Heero realized, to Duo, he wasn't. Weren't you supposed to slap people when they were in this state? People in the movies did it all the time. But, he didn't want to hit him! Medicine… if only he had his medicine!

The kitten, curious about the scene in front of her, stumbled over to them and ended up brushing against Duo's hand. Duo jerked as reality clicked back in place and Heero had to hold him down. Duo came back to himself and blinked.

“Heero, what…”

Heero sighed in relief and hugged him tightly.

“Don't you ever do that to me again!”

Duo, still confused, looked down at the cat.

“Heero, why is there a cat in my room?”

The kitten rubbed itself against Duo's hand, marking him with her little head. Heero laughed and picked her up. She hissed at him, indignant at being interrupted before she had finished marking what was hers.

“This is yours.”

Duo blinked as Heero placed the cat in his hand. She was tiny, but warm.

“Mine?”

“Yes, some old lady gave her to me.”

Duo's eyes widened.

“It's a girl and she's yours, so I suggest you name her or I'll just start calling her `the cat',” Heero teased. Duo blushed as the kitten nibbled on his thumb too gentle to really cause him any pain.

“Mom…”

“Can't do a damn thing about it,” Heero assured him. Duo looked at the cat in amazement. The little thing tried to curl up in Duo hand and fall asleep. He clutched her to his chest and she clung happily to his soft shirt. His face lit up in a brilliant smile.

“Oh, god, Heero, she's adorable,” Duo started to cry. Heero smiled back and hugged him, careful of the cat between them.

“It's been so long,” he murmured into his hair, “you don't smile so much anymore.”

Duo pressed his face into Heero's shirt, loving the firm muscle of his chest.

“Only for you, Heero,” he said softly.

 

 

(1) No, Magdalene is NOT named after Mary Magdalene in any way, shape, or form. I was stuck on her name because I needed a name that would be hard for a child to pronounce, but that there could be a nickname that Duo could pronounce, like Maggie. I was listening to Silent Hill music. BTW, I have decided that I am no longer aloud to listen to SH when writing this fic. The music sets the tone for The Definition of Love very, very well, but while I'm writing the dark stuff, it's very depressing. But, anyway, a song called `Magdalene' came on and I thought that it fit her, so that's how I came up with that name.

(2) I <3 Dorothy. She is one of my favorite female characters in Gundam Wing. I loved her little moment in Endless Waltz. However, I would have liked her a lot more without the eyebrows.

(3) This is `Letter from the Lost Days' by Akira Yamaoka/Mary Elizabeth McGlynn. When I was writing this scene, the song came on and when I heard that first stanza, I literally shivered.

(4) I thought about ending the chapter here, but decided I was going to be nice and not have a cliffhanger since it takes me weeks to update.

 

 

OMG!!! This chapter is finally done! *dies*

No, this is not the end of the story *rolls eyes* this chapter just took too long to write and I kept coming up with different ideas. Sigh. This story is getting a little bit intense. Over 16,000 words this chapter was. I don't think I've written that much in one chapter before, but don't quote me on that.