Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Difference ❯ The Difference ( One-Shot )

Title: The Difference

Author: Talaquinn

Disclaimer: Don't own the G-boys or their world; nor do I have anything to do with Matchbox 20. It's a cruel world isn't it?

Rating: PG13 tops

Pairing: 2x5 main, 3x4, 1xR, 2xH, 6x13, and maybe others…

Summary: Wufei waits on the sidelines, wondering when he should make his move, but when he does, the results are not what he expects, or hopes for.

A/N: In an attempt to break through my writer's block for TWH and FP, I decided to start this little contemplative piece. Thanks always to my beta (Kenny), Tsuki (who puts up with my weirdness for some reason), and to RL (for making me have to think about these issues at all). Oh, and this is manga based.

And for all you know

This could be

The difference between what you need

And what you want to be.

-Matchbox 20 'The Difference'

Chang Wufei had always prided himself on his ability to wrap his mind around any situation. Admittedly, some realisations took a little longer then others, but he was always able to deny denial and take things in stride.

His sexuality for one.

Growing up surrounded first by his traditional family, then by traditional scholars, and then by traditional fighters, he never really thought about the idea that he may not want what he was brought up knowing. His first inkling that he may have less then platonic interest in his own sex was during his duel with Treize Khushrenada. His fifteen-year-old body had taken one look at the handsome Commander and had been brought to life. Of course that reaction was buried, and vanquished when the duel had occurred, but for a time the attraction had been there.

In the depression that had followed the duel, sex was the last thing on Wufei's mind, and it was friendship that had brought him out of it. Getting to know one Duo Maxwell had been one of the best choices Wufei had ever made. The braided boy had tossed Wufei's self imposed restrictions out the proverbial window, and stirred his heart, mind and emotions into a tumultuous mess. For the first time in his short life Wufei was making real friends, fighting for something other then his own Justice, and finding out that there was more to life then war and conflict.

It was seeing Quatre's unconditional love for Trowa that had brought Wufei's scattered and confused feelings to a grinding halt. Here was a straight-laced pacifist, forced to do battle for peace, falling in love with one of his comrades. When he had turned to Duo wondering how a love like that was possible, the other boy had shrugged his concerns off stating simply that in stressful times, one falls for those they feel closest to. The quick glance Duo had shot towards the pilot of Wing Gundam had not gone unnoticed, and Wufei's heart had fallen. His mind then had been swung into to confusion once more when Duo had perked up when saying 'but we all get over it and once you unwind a bit, deviant feelings disappear.

Wufei had taken Duo's words to heart, and when his attraction to the braided boy did not disappear at the end of the war, Wufei came to the natural conclusion that, there must be more to life then wars to fight. He was correct, but his isolation from his best friend and crush didn't help his feelings any more then fighting did. When Heero cornered him and made him see that he was wrong about fighting, causing him to finally let go of his wife's views of justice, the Chinese pilot thought for a long time. Turning his views and beliefs around in his head, thinking about his past, and why his emotions and attractions simply *were*.

He came to the conclusion that while his ancestors had some things right; many of their beliefs were archaic enough to discard. He also realised that in all of his seventeen years he had only been attracted to a few people, all male, and had only fallen in love once. Not with Meiran, but with Duo.

One thing Wufei knew for sure was that you didn't fall in love with your best friend. It just wasn't done. No honourable conclusion could arrive from such feelings. It crushed him to admit it, but Wufei knew that he could never tell the braided boy his feelings. Not if he still wanted them to be friends.

It wasn't although he often had the chance to tell Duo, after the Mariemeia incident Wufei only saw Duo twice in three years, once during a mission for the Preventers, and once at Heero and Relena's wedding.

When Wufei was to see Duo a third time, he decided to talk to his friend, and see if his feelings were based on teenage hormones, or if love could withstand time. He would talk to him at Trowa and Quatre's wedding.

The yard behind the mansion was crowded. Wufei stood on a balcony above the milling crowd avidly searching for a long brown braid; ears open for the trademark laugh of the braid's owner. He caught sight of him standing near the band with a shorthaired girl with an earnest expression. Wufei recognized her as the girl Duo ran his salvage business with. He wondered briefly if the next time he saw Duo at a wedding it would be between the braided boy and his business partner, Hilde? But shook it off.

Wufei sighed, and then started when a large hand settled on his shoulder.

"Who are you watching dragon?"

Wufei relaxed a bit and glanced up at his tall blonde friend.

"Wouldn't you love to know." He then turned back to watching Duo, who had swung his partner onto the dance floor.

Zechs followed Wufei's glance and correctly guessed his current obsession.

"Duo." The other man shook his head. "Wufei, I'm all for falling in love with whom your heart chooses, but Duo? The boy is as straight as a ruler."

Wufei smiled thinly. "I never was able to draw a straight line, even with a ruler."

"Then you better get down there before Duo gets drunk enough to propose." The older Preventer walked away chuckling.

The thought of possibly losing his chance of talking to the braided man made Wufei hurry to the backyard, wishing that all this planning wasn't needed.

By the time he managed to locate Duo again, the man was chugging down another beer. In many ways Duo seemed to be the stereotypical heterosexual male. Loud, untidy, blunt, beer guzzling, and a womanizer. If Wufei didn't know Duo as well as he did, the thought of hitting on the braided man never would have crossed his mind. As it was, the Chinese Preventer was a little wary of getting rejected; Duo seemed almost content acting his part. It was the almost that gave Wufei the courage to try.

Swiftly crossing the yard, trading polite greetings with the guests he knew, Wufei made his way towards his crush, and when he caught the salvager's glaze he smiled.

"Oi! 'fei! Long time no see!"

Revelling in the tight hug that his friend had caught him in, the black-eyed man whispered into Duo's ear, "Missed you too." The embrace tightened for a moment, and then relaxed, until the American had let him go.

"So what'cha been up to 'fei? You haven't been to the yard at all, and you said you would come visit us sometime."

Wufei's smile fell a bit. He hadn't gone to visit the salvage yard because he hadn't wanted to deal with Duo, Hilde and their happy life together. Or perhaps knowing that it wasn't just Hilde that Duo slept with.

"It's busy being a Preventer, although life has calmed down some. People seem to be getting used to the idea that peace is here to stay."

Violet eyes regarded him; Duo knew that Wufei was avoiding the question.

"Haven't you had any vacation time?"

Blushing a bit, he had to say "No."

"No you don't get vacation time, or no you haven't taken any vacation time?"

Duo was leading them over to some seats, and Wufei followed dumbly.

"No, I haven't taken in vacation time, there's always too much to do. Luckily the Preventers let vacation time pile up, so soon I may take a four month trip away from it all."

Duo grinned at him and flung himself into a nearby chair. "Like coming to visit me? I bet you don't go into space very often, and if you miss working, I could always use a hand or two around the business." Duo paused looking thoughtful and in that time Wufei snagged a chair to sit across from his friend. "I haven't had any vacation time lately myself, maybe we could visit Quat and Tro for a bit. I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

"Of course we wouldn't." Wufei started when Quatre sat down beside him. "It's been awhile since we were team Gundam, maybe we could convince Relena to let Heero come out and play, and Noin needs a vacation as well, we could probably get Zechs to come as well, he has nothing better to do." The blonde smiled brightly at his friend's pole axed expressions. "What?"

Duo shook his head and just said, "You have to be the most organized, and secretly devious person I know." Wufei just stared, then leaned his head down on the table when Quatre looked and him, then at Duo, back at him, and winked.

"Well, I have to continue to mingle guys, have fun. Oh, and if you see Trowa tell him I'm looking for him." With that Quatre stood up and headed towards a knot of people halfway across the yard.

"That was weird." Taking his braid into his hands Duo wrapped it around his wrist a few times. "Why do I feel that he's plotting something?"

Pushing himself up off the table, Wufei snorted. "He is. The 'Master Strategist' never does anything without a reason. Mostly to make sure things end up the way *he* wants them to."

Blinking slowly the American nodded. "I'm going to get another beer. Do you want anything?"

"If they still have that house red, some of that. If not I guess a beer will do."

As soon as Duo was out of sight Hilde showed up, he pretty face marred by a frown.

"What are you doing?"

Surprised Wufei didn't say anything for a moment. Then, "Talking to my best friend. Why?"

She sat down in Duo's empty chair and looked at him thoughtfully. "I love him you know, and if it's just girls I can handle that, 'cause I know they don't mean anything to him. But-" She took a breath. "He dreams about you, whispers your name in his sleep, and once-"

Wufei held up a hand. "Don't tell me." He lowered it and looked at her, taking in the pinched skin around her eyes and the way the blue-grey eyes glistened slightly in the torchlight. He really didn't want to hurt her, or Duo, but he didn't deserve to go through life hurting either.

When her eyes looked away and out into the crowd widening a bit in dismay, the Chinese man turned to look as well.

There was Duo Maxwell, charming as anyone, grinding his way though the crowd, beer in one hand, a wine glass in the other, laughing and joking with old friends and strangers alike.

"Sometimes I wonder if I am enough for him, if anyone is enough for him. He is a bright star, and perhaps doesn't need to be tied down." Hilde's quiet whisper bothered Wufei, no one in a healthy relationship should have that much reverence in his or her voice. It meant something was unbalanced, probably Hilde.

Duo finally made his way to their table, trademark grin nearly splitting his face, put down their drinks, and then swung Hilde out of her chair and around in a circle.

"How's my girl?"

Hilde giggled a bit and wrapped her arms around Duo's neck. "Fine love. I was coming over to tell you that mom called and Lisa is having her baby. So I'm going to take the shuttle home. You can find your own way home after the reception, can't you?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to come? Because after the wedding the guys and I were going to-" "Shush." Hilde laid a slender finger on the braided man's thin lips. "You can spend some time with your friends, you need a bit of a vacation after all the work you've been doing. Just don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay?"

"Sure thing boss." Duo kissed her finger and gave her another hug. "Now go visit your new niece or nephew, okay? Have fun."

Smiling at him the shorthaired woman walked away, but not before giving Wufei a look of warning.

When she was out of sight Duo flopped back down into his seat. "I found you your wine. Had to wrestle some balding politician for the last glass though." Wufei smiled at his friend, who grew more animated as he told his story. "I had your glass in my hand and was right in front of the wine bottle when totally out of nowhere this old guy came up and pushed me out of the way…" The black-eyed man sipped his wine and listened, revealing in this little bit of his friend's life. He had really missed the American optimist.

Three hours and countless drinks later, Duo was regaling a crowd with a tale about how he had once found a Before- Colony- Cadillac during one of his salvaging trips. His Chinese friend watched indulgently until he heard the opening strains to his favourite song come up over the speakers. Captivated by the beat, Wufei got up and wandered over to where to where Duo was speaking.

"Come on Duo, this is my favourite song. Let's dance." Inhibitions lowered equally to the amount of drinking he had done, caused Wufei to be bolder then he usually would. Grabbing Duo's hand he dragged his friend onto the dance floor ignoring the looks everyone was giving them.

Wrapping muscled arms around Duo's waist and drawing him close, Wufei ignored the little voice of reason in his head. He wanted this and judging by the way Duo was relaxing into the embrace, his partner wasn't against the idea of a dance either.

They swayed softly to the beat, not moving anywhere; just holding each other close, silent and trusting.

The next song was more upbeat, and brought Duo back to life, sliding his hands up Wufei's waist to his shoulders, then down his back, the dance morphed into something more sexual then before, each man letting go of his own inhibitions.

That is until Wufei, black eyes glinting with emotion, moved his face close enough to the braided man's to kiss him.

For an instant he felt soft lips, pliant and warm, and then he was on the ground staring up the muzzle of a pistol.

"Shinigami does not kiss boys. Sorry 'fei but I don't swing that way." Holstering his gun, the American took a step backwards, then spun around on his heel and left the yard, ignoring the strange looks everyone was giving him. Lying back on the ground Wufei groaned realising that he had probably moved too fast, and had ruined his chance with Duo.

He lay there until a foot nudged his ribs indelicately.

"Get up Chang, let's go get you drunk enough so that you won't remember this in the morning." The pilot didn't move so, heaving a sigh of annoyance, Zechs hauled the young man to his feet. "I would say 'I told you so' but that would just be cruel. Come on."

Dragging Wufei over to the bar, the blonde poured some brandy, hoping that if Wufei drank enough of it, he would just pass out.

His head was pounding, and the nausea ripping through his body made him cringe. Trying not to move, lest his head fly to pieces, or he threw up Wufei attempted to gather his memories of the night before and failed. He could remember the wedding and the beginning of the reception where all the pilots gave speeches wishing Trowa and Quatre the best in their new, married life. He could remember talking to Zechs on the balcony he had fled to trying to avoid the crowds, but after that his memory was completely blank.

Which meant Wufei had done something stupid. He never forgot anything he did while drunk, unless he did something really dumb. The last time he had forgotten while drinking was when he had been on a binge with Zechs. Wufei never had asked what had happened that night, mostly because he really didn't want to know.

Deciding that he should get up and face the day, the dark haired man opened his eyes to the morning, and gave a slight sigh noticing that the curtains were shut tight against the light. He rolled out of bed, noting that he was in one of the Winner-Barton guestrooms, and padded towards the adjoining bathroom.

An hour later Wufei headed down towards the dining room, hoping that he hadn't missed lunch. He found eight of his friends sitting at the oak table. Hesitating at the bottom of the stairs, not because he was afraid of what he had done, but because the windows were open.

"Good morning everyone." Wincing at the raspy note to his voice, the dark haired man took a slow step towards the dining table, raising his arm just in time to catch a pair of sunglasses that had been thrown at him.

Putting them on Wufei glanced around the table noting that only Heero wore sunglasses, and was wearing a smirk on his face. Of the others: Trowa had his head on the table, Relena was clutching her head, Sally and Noin were drinking some evil looking concoctions, Quatre and Lady Une were talking in quiet voices, and Zechs was smiling stupidly into a bowl of Cornflakes.

Wondering briefly where Duo was Wufei took a seat next to Zechs and grabbed the pitcher of orange juice from the middle of the table and poured himself a glass.

"So, what happened last night?"

At that the other occupants of the table stared at him incredulously, except for a certain blonde Sanqian Prince who continued to smirk into his cereal.

Slightly confused, the Chinese man asked "What?"

"You don't remember last night? After all that happened?" Relena's voice rose and she winced at the sound of it. She leant back in her chair rubbing her temples, "I don't believe it." She said in a much quieter voice.

"I have to admit that is rather odd, you didn't seem *that* drunk when you put on your little show." Trowa seemed mildly perturbed. "What do you remember?"

Reaching into his memories, Wufei managed to answer, "The Wedding, the speeches, the cake, and going onto the balcony. After that it's too fuzzy, lots of loud music though."

Zechs finally broke out his stupor with a chuckle. "I told you guys he wouldn't remember. Wufei has this thing with alcohol-induced denial. Last time this happened he-" A slender golden hand covered Zechs' mouth, preventing the older man from finishing his sentence. "I've heard it already, it's not something that needs to be repeated."

Relena opened her mouth to disagree, but shut it again after catching the glare her husband was sending her way.

Heero spoke. "Perhaps it is better that you don't remember what happened. If you had, you probably would be avoiding us today."

Closing his eyes Wufei sighed, "Why was I afraid that you'd say something like that?"

Luckily his friends were saved from answering because at that moment a brown haired whirlwind came flying down the stairs.

"Gooooooooooood Morning Everyone!"

Those occupying the dining room winced and hissed at the volume of Duo's voice. It wasn't fair that he escaped a hangover and the rest of them didn't.

Flinging himself into the seat on Quatre's right side, on the other side of the room from Wufei, Duo started piling various breakfast materials onto a plate.

"How are all of you this fine morning? Did you sleep well? I slept like a log, and then woke up to this glorious day. It's wonderful isn't it?" Wufei rolled his eyes; his own hangover was starting to recede, but appeared the same wasn't true for most of his friends. Une and Sally had stopped talking to cover their ears, Zechs was face first into his cereal bowl, and Noin, Relena, Trowa, Quatre, and Heero were wincing and glaring.

"Shut up Duo."

Quatre's voice held a note of steel, and Duo knew to not push the Arabian when he got irritated. So he applied his attention to the meal in front of him. Chuckling internally Wufei went about putting together his own breakfast, his stomach having settled enough for the activity at hand.

While he was eating his listened to the others talk. Sally and Une were continuing their endless discussion about the Preventers, something about finances; Relena was holding a conversation with Duo about -dance classes? Trowa and Heero about ideal weapons and Noin and Zechs were discussing Sanqian fashions. Somewhat content Wufei listened to their calming chatter, and wondered why Duo wasn't sitting by him. They were best friends, and hadn't seen each other for a while, and usually got along really well when they hung out together. Wufei wondered if he had done something stupid the night before, but Trowa had mentioned something about 'a show', had he and Duo…- Shaking his head the dark eyed Preventer decided that was impossible. If he had done anything with Duo he would have remembered it. Wouldn't he have? Deciding to confront the other man after breakfast Wufei went back to eavesdropping on his friends.

However after breakfast he didn't get the chance to. As soon as Quatre had mostly recovered from his hangover he had started ordering everyone around. Heero was directed to drive those who weren't going on the trip home, as well as too get his belongings. Trowa was told to see if any of his clothes fit Duo, as waiting for anything extra to be delivered from L2 would take too long. Zechs, Noin and Wufei were told to go home and find appropriate items for a week away. Mildly confused Wufei stopped Quatre on his way to the kitchens to ask, "Where are we going?"

The blonde smiled "To a cabin of my family's on the coast. We'll stay a week, maybe do some hunting, relax, and unwinding. Our stress levels haven't lessened much since the war." Quatre's grin widened. "Maybe we'll all get to know one another better." Wufei's jaw dropped as his friend winked and walked off with a parting shot "Remember you have an hour!"

Three hours later Noin was flying the seven of them towards Quatre's family's cabin. Zechs was finally awake enough to annoy them all with stories.

"So here I was half naked in the sitting room trying to calm Lady Une down when Treize walks out of the bedroom bare as the day he was born and-"

"We'll be landing in five minutes."

Platinum blonde hair swung as Zechs glared towards the cockpit, "Thanks Noin, I was just getting to the good part."

"Right, letting the children know how to embarrass their superior officer, smart move." Although Wufei bristled at the 'children' comment, he kept his composure as he responded. "I knew the story already, and I do believe that a few months ago Lady Une had a similar run in with Trowa and Quatre."

"Wufei!"

"What?" The black-eyed man turned towards Trowa who was sitting beside him, "I was just trying to get Noin to settle down."

"By talking about my sex life?"

Wufei smiled. "Well it fit."

Duo snickered, causing Wufei's smile to widen, this was the first time all day that Duo had shown any sort of amusement. "That reminds me, Quat was saying-"

"Duo, if you value your ability to sire children you should reconsider what you are about to say."

"Cheesecake tastes really good."

Grinning the irate Trowa, Duo settled back into his seat.

"Boy are you touchy today Trowa. One would think you're not getting any."

The man in question growled, "Duo." Before Noin pulled the plane into a sharp dive.

Wufei tried to get Duo alone for the next three days, but between the braided man's avoidance of him, and their friends keeping them busy with various activities, his efforts were fruitless.

It wasn't until the fourth night that he was able to catch Duo alone. Heero was out with Noin, Quatre and Trowa were having some *alone* time, and Zechs was talking up some guy he had met on the beach.

He approached his friend slowly a beer in each hand, taking a seat next to Duo on the rocky beach.

"Hey Duo, see anything interesting?" He passed one of the beers over, and opened one for himself as he was waiting for an answer.

"Nope, can't see any dolphins."

Wufei was torn between smiling and frowning, "Duo, dolphins have been extinct for over two hundred years."

The braided man looked over at him, "I know. Doesn't mean I don't wish that they still were around." He fell silent staring out at the water again.

Wufei decided to take the plunge. "Duo I don't know what happened after the wedding, but I miss my best friend."

Violet eyes speared him. "Do you want to know what you did? Do you?" Voice low with anger, Duo leant closer, and Wufei leant back, slightly afraid. "You proved to me that I couldn't even trust my best friend, that my world can be turned upside down with one movement, and now I have to rethink my entire future because of something you did."

"Which was?" Wufei was honestly curious, albeit a bit afraid of what Duo would say.

"This." Grabbing Wufei's chin, he kissed his friend harshly, and then pulled away. "I was perfectly happy with my life, and now-" He stopped speaking abruptly and looked at Wufei intently. "How long have you felt this way? How could you not tell me?"

"Not tell you what?"

"That you felt that way?"

Wufei closed his eyes briefly wishing that they could be having this conversation at a better time. "Duo I've had feelings for you for years, since the war actually, and they never came up before. A drunken kiss shouldn't bother you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Softer now.

"You have Hilde and all those other women who hang off of you, you don't need a lovesick best friend as well."

"Lovesick." It was almost a question.

Uh oh, Wufei looked away.

"Perhaps."

Duo got up and walked to where the water met the beach. "This can't change anything. But it does, it changes everything. I was happily in denial you know? How can I stay that way when I know you, felt this way?" Placing his empty bottle next to Duo's full one Wufei levered himself off the ground and walked over to when Duo stood, close enough to see past the bangs that hid the other man's expression.

"You ask too many questions, expect to many answers, and the only one I can give you is this."

Leaning in Wufei, for the second time in a week, took a chance and kissed Duo. His friend's lips were soft under his own, yielding and pliant, and unlike the last time, Duo didn't push him away, instead the American slipped an arm around Wufei and returned the slight pressure of the other's lips with interest.

As they kissed Wufei knew that this wasn't a true answer, that there were many more hurdles to jump before everything would be perfect, but he was willing to wait, and waiting was something he was good at.

End.

Well? Longest one shot I've written so far. I'd really like to know what you thought about it.