Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Fellowship of the Gundam ❯ Bree ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3: Bree

“I like these woods,” Trowa remarked. “It reminds me of Sherwood Forest.”

“You're right,” Treize agreed. “It is rather similar. I hear lots of wildlife. What are they saying?”

“Well,” Trowa cocked his head slightly. “The birds are mostly discussing the weather, of course. There are quite a few rabbits and they're discussing how noisy the birds are and whether or not anyone can smell a fox. The mice are mostly panicking over the fact that our shadows resemble hawk shadows and maybe they shouldn't be looking for food right now. There's a vole in a burrow over that way who wishes everyone would just shut up because he's trying to sleep.”

“There is a fox,” Roku said. “She's hiding because she's worried about me and Jett.”

Jett padded along happily beside the trail. “Look! I'm leaving big prints!”

“Those are pretty big,” Duo agreed.

Quatre sighed. “She's just like Roku. Jett, must you walk through every body of water we pass?”

“It feels funny when mud squishes between my toes!”

“You found mud?” Roku exclaimed. He trotted over to where Jett was.

“You're just looking for an excuse to need a bath later,” Quatre accused.

“Who, us?” Roku said innocently.

“It's Wu-Fei's turn to bathe the kids,” Heero said quickly.

“What?!”

“I did it last!” Duo added hastily.

“And I did it the time before that,” Trowa added equally hastily.

“What a minute!” Frodo interrupted. He stared at Trowa. “Do you mean to say you can tell what animals are saying?”

“Yes, I can speak to animals.”

“That's amazing!” Pippin exclaimed. “How did you learn to do that?”

“I was given the ability as a gift.”

“Incredible!”

Merry frowned. “But if you can talk to animals, do you still eat them?”

“Of course. Most animals know that they're food for someone. They don't take it personally.”

“That doesn't seem right somehow,” Merry said.

“I'm not saying they want to get eaten,” Trowa said. “I just mean that they understand that that's what carnivores do. For example, if Roku here decided to eat you, I'm sure you'd understand it was just because he was hungry, not because he had something against you.”

Pippin stared in alarm at Roku. “I thought you said he didn't eat people.”

“I was just speaking hypothetically.”

Pippin continued to watch Roku nervously. He edged behind Merry. “I'm kind of skinny,” he said. “Merry here is a lot chunkier than I am.”

“I am not!”

“See?” Pippin pinched up a roll of fat on Merry's side. “Plenty of tasty fat right here.”

“Stop that!” Merry slapped Pippin's hand away. “I'm just a little out of condition! I'm not fat!”

“And he'll giggle while you eat him. He's that ticklish.”

“I am NOT ticklish!” Merry declared loudly. He stamped away ahead of the group, his nose stuck up angrily into the air.

“He's a little sensitive about that, isn't he?” Zechs remarked.

“Just a bit,” Sam acknowledged with a grin.

Alexa appeared unexpectedly at Pippin's side, where she pinched up an equally large roll of fat from his side. “I don't know,” she said speculatively, “all you hobbits look pretty chubby to me.”

“That's just skin!” Pippin exclaimed quickly. “I dropped quite a lot of weight recently when I was sick.”

“Skin? Really?” Alexa experimentally rolled the captured flesh between her fingers. “It feels like fat.”

“Well, it's not!” Pippin's eyes whipped around to see if Roku was watching.

He was.

Pippin's eyes got wide.

Roku rocked forward on his paws.

“What the…!” Pippin began and Roku charged him with a loud roar. He knocked Pippin over, pinned him to the ground, and proceeded to slobber all over his face with big, wet, rough-tongued tiger kisses. “Help! I'm being eaten! Save me! Merry! Frodo! Sam!”

But after a moment of surprise, Frodo and Sam burst out laughing.

“Quit making such a racket, Pippin!” Sam choked out. “You're perfectly fine!”

“But he's licking my face off! Help!”

“That's enough, Roku,” Quatre said with a chuckle.

Roku bounced off Pippin after a final swipe. Pippin sat up and put both hands on his face, obviously expecting the skin to be gone. “That… That wasn't funny!” he cried, but Frodo and Sam were still doubled over with laughter. A little ways up the trail, Merry was slapping his knee and laughing loudly.

“Roku has a warped sense of humor,” Duo said. He caught Pippin by the arm and pulled him to his feet. “You'll get used to it.”

Pippin fished a handkerchief out of a pocket and wiped the tiger spit off his face.

Roku nudged up against his shoulder with a loud purr. “You can ride on my back if you want.” Pippin blinked at him. “Get on.”

Pippin swallowed and looked around. Not wanting to appear a coward, he grasped a handful of fur and scrambled onto Roku's back. His feet did not come close to the ground. Roku broke into a trot and Pippin grinned. “This isn't so bad,” he said.

“At least someone gets to ride,” Heero grumbled. “We should bring horses next time.”

“And where are we supposed to keep horses on Mars?” Quatre asked pointedly.

“Roku's storage space.”

“We are not storing live animals in Roku's storage space between vacations just so you don't have to walk.”

Heero muttered something under his breath.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing,” Heero said.

“Better watch yourself,” Duo whispered. “It's been awhile since he turned anyone into a woman. He might be itching to pull the trigger again.”

“Did you say something, Duo?”

“Nothing, Quatre! Say, the sunlight's really bringing out the sparkle in your new ring. It really matches your eyes, now.”

“I'm not falling for that again.”

“It was worth a shot.”

“I smell a town,” Roku announced. “Sorry, Papa Wu-Fei, but it smells like we're back in an age of open sewers.”

Wu-Fei reflexively put a hand over his nose. “Is it bad?”

“I can smell it from here,” Roku said. “We probably won't reach the town until nightfall.”

Wu-Fei turned a little green. “That can't be good.”

“I think it smells kind of interesting,” Jett piped up. “People and animals and mud all jumbled up.”

“There's an appetizing image,” Zechs murmured.

“I don't know,” Treize murmured back. “Sometimes wrestling in the mud can be fun.”

Zechs lifted an eyebrow at him. “Wrestling with whom, one wonders.”

Treize put his lips close to Zechs' ear. “Blue-eyed blonds look good streaked with mud. They look even better when one is washing it off.”

“Indeed?” Zechs purred. “You want to get me dirty just so you can wash me?”

“We could just pretend you were dirty and get straight to the washing.”

“Naughty boy.”

“That's what I'm hoping for.”

By this time, the bright red flush on Sam's face, which had started on the tops of his ears, had spread all the way down his neck. He was blinking rapidly and staring straight ahead.

“What's the matter with Sam?” Alexa asked. “His face has gone all red.”

“Oh, it's nothing,” Frodo said. “Sam's just a little innocent, that's all.”

Alexa blinked in confusion. “Huh?”

Frodo leaned closer and lowered his voice. “He's embarrassed by the gentlemen's conversation.”

“Oh!” Alexa exclaimed. “You mean my mommy and daddy flirting with each other? They do that all the time.”

Now it was Frodo's turn to blink in confusion. “Your mommy and daddy? But it's two gentlemen.”

“I know. It's kind of unusual but the blond man is my mommy. He's really handsome.”

“Uh, yeah,” Frodo fumbled. “Very handsome. Um… If you don't mind my asking, how did you come to have a man for a mother?”

“Uncle Quatre used magic.” She leaned closer and lowered her voice. “I'm glad because otherwise I wouldn't be here, but honestly, Uncle Quatre probably shouldn't be making babies and sticking them into men's tummies.”

“Uh… Um… Probably not,” Frodo agreed. He stared with round eyes at Quatre. “He must be a very powerful sorcerer.”

“He is,” Alexa said with a nod. “But Roku's more powerful. We're not actually sure if Roku has limits. We kind of think he doesn't.”

“Unlimited power?” Unconsciously, Frodo rested his hand on the pocket of his vest. He frowned. “That's not good.”

“Well, normally it wouldn't be,” Alexa agreed, “but Roku's such a sweetheart we're not worried about it. You shouldn't worry either. Is it really going to take us until nightfall to get to Bree?”

Frodo blinked at the change of subject. “Probably. But speaking of sorcerers: we're supposed to meet Gandalf the Gray there. He's a very powerful sorcerer and he's supposed to help us get to Rivendell, where the elves are.”

“We saw some elves already!” Sam spoke up excitedly. “Woodland elves going to the Gray Havens. They were a sight to see, I'll tell you. So tall and beautiful. It was almost like they weren't real.” Suddenly, Sam squinted at Zechs. “In fact, you remind me a little bit of an elf, Mister… ah…”

“Zechs,” Zechs said smoothly. “Just call me Zechs. And I'll take that as a compliment, Sam.”

Sam flushed again and ducked his head.

The long walk to Bree gave everyone a chance to get acquainted. Pippin regaled them with his favorite drinking songs and Duo returned the favor by singing songs they'd learned on the Quest for the Holy Grail. By the time the sun was sinking into the west, casting long shadows ahead of them, the smell of wood smoke and roasting meat was plain to everyone's nose. Pippin was no longer riding Roku, but walking alongside Merry and Trowa.

“I'm starving!” Pippin announced. “And a mug of ale would be good right now.”

“I second that,” Merry said.

“You and Jett better switch, Roku,” Quatre advised.

“Ok, Mama.” In a shimmer of blue light, Roku and Jett reappeared in human form.

“I think there's mud inside my shoes,” Jett said.

“I'm not surprised,” Heero said. “You've walked through ever mud puddle between here and the barrow downs.” He patted her head. “I'm sure Papa Wu-Fei will get you clean.”

Wu-Fei scrubbed a hand over his face.

They arrived at the wide gate to Bree to find it already closed for the evening.

“How inhospitable,” Treize remarked. He rapped on the gate.

A window popped open and an old man stuck his face out. “Who goes there?”

“We go here,” Treize replied. “We seek lodging for the night.”

The old man glared suspiciously. “There're quite a lot of you. What's your business?”

“Well,” Treize said, “I could say it was searching for bothersome old men to slice up for goblin bait, but I would be lying. In fact, we are simply escorting these excellent hobbits to… What did you say was the name of that inn, Frodo?”

“The Prancing Pony,” Frodo said.

“Just so,” Treize continued with a smile. “We're planning to eat, drink and sleep at the Prancing Pony and not cause any trouble for anyone.”

“Well,” the old man frowned and rubbed his chin, still trying to digest the goblin remark, “I guess that's alright then.” He unlatched the gate and let them in. “As long as you're not looking for trouble.”

“If that's all it takes to get into places,” Heero said, “I could be running this world in a week.”

“But why would you want to?” Wu-Fei groaned. “Do you suppose anyone in this town pisses anywhere except in the gutter?”

“I'm sure all the proper ladies piss indoors,” Zechs said.

“And then dump it in the gutter,” Duo concluded.

“I think I'm going to be sick.”

“Buck up, Fei.” Duo patted his back sympathetically. “I'm sure you'll get used to it.”

“I don't want to get used to it!”

“There's the inn!” Merry called out. He pointed at a painted sign of a pony rearing on its hind legs.

They piled into the inn and the innkeeper greeted them with surprise.

“Welcome, everyone! What a large crowd! And hobbits, too! What can I do for you?”

Frodo pushed importantly to the front. “My name's Underhill. We need rooms for the night.”

“With dinner and ale!” Pippin and Merry chorused.

Frodo gave them a look. “And can you tell Gandalf the Gray that we've arrived?”

“Gandalf?” The innkeeper looked like he had just been asked to remember his anniversary, a date that he'd had trouble remembering since his marriage thirty-seven years before, despite the fact that his wife whacked him on the head every year for forgetting. Of course, she was always whacking him on the head, so that might be why he had trouble picking out his anniversary whacking from all the other whackings. But at any rate, he was clearly confused by the concept of knowing whether Gandalf the Gray was present to be advised of their coming, so he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Can't say I've seen Gandalf in months. When did you say he was arriving?”

Frodo turned to the others in dismay.

“What do we do now, Mr. Frodo?” Sam asked worriedly.

Treize leaned across the counter and addressed the innkeeper. “Why don't we start with dinner and ale, and then move on to lodging?”

The innkeeper appeared to like that idea, since it did not involve remembering. “Right you are, sir. Come this way. I've a nice big table that will hold all of you and I'll be right out with the ale.”

“That's what I like!” Duo said. “An innkeeper who starts with the ale.”

“I want food!” Jett complained. “My tummy's growling!”

“Mine, too!” Alexa seconded.

“Well, now!” An older woman with gray-streaked hair pulled up into a loose bun paused and grinned down at the girls as she hurried by with a tray of mugs balanced on one hand. “I can't have such pretty little girls going hungry in my establishment. You there!” She reached out and whacked the innkeeper's head. “Fetch bowls of stew and a loaf of bread before you bring the ale. And get a pitcher of fresh milk for the children.”

“Yes, dear,” the innkeeper replied meekly. He scurried away, managing to look smaller than his wife, even though his round midsection was easily twice her girth.

“Have a seat,” the innkeeper's wife told them cheerfully. “I'll bring your ale in just a moment.” And she bustled off to deliver her cargo to another table.

The Gundam pilots and the hobbits sat down at the indicated table and soon were treated to an excellent meal of a thick stew full of vegetables and meat that had a high probability of being beef. Even Wu-Fei admitted it was good. And the fat loaves of finely ground wheat bread were fresh from the oven and still warm. Everyone ate their fill and had no complaints, except perhaps the kitchen staff who wondered why fifteen people would need forty-eight bowls of stew, twelve loaves of bread and an entire brick of butter.

But after they'd eaten, Pippin watched Duo contentedly quaffing his ale with a slight frown.

“Something bugging you, Pippin?” Duo asked.

“Well, yes,” Pippin acknowledged. “It doesn't seem fair that you've got that great big mug for your ale and I've got this tiny little one.”

“Your hand is too small to hold a pint,” Duo noted.

“I could use both hands.”

“You make a good point.” Duo waved at the innkeeper. “Innkeeper! Another round! All pints this time, please!”

“Yes, sir! Right away, sir!” The innkeeper brought twelve pints to the table. “There you are. Drink up!”

Pippin lifted his pint with a grin. “Now that's a proper mug of ale.” He proceeded to down the whole thing in one long pull.

Duo nodded appreciatively. “Nicely done, Pippin! That's the way a real man drinks.”

“Oh, please!” Merry groaned. “He doesn't need encouragement. There's nothing wrong with taking two swallows to finish it.” He proceeded to demonstrate.

Sam leaned toward Frodo. “You oughtn't to let them drink so much, Mr. Frodo,” he whispered. “Their tongues will start to wag.”

“It will be alright, Sam,” Frodo whispered back.

Duo lifted his mug. “How about a toast to our new hobbit friends?”

“But I've drunk all mine,” Pippin said mournfully.

Hadeya pushed his mug toward Pippin. “You can have mine.”

“You're a true gentleman, sir!”

Wu-Fei shoved his mug in front of Merry. “I don't want mine either.”

Merry licked his lips. “I wouldn't want to put you out.”

“It's no bother, really.”

Merry took the pint and lifted it. “To us!”

“To us!” Pippin echoed.

The pair tipped up their mugs and chugged the ale. The other adults, except for Wu-Fei and Hadeya, followed suit. Zechs finished his ale at the same time as all the others, but he managed to make it look like he was not chugging it.

“That calls for a song!” Pippin cried. He jumped up on the table and began to sing a wildly bawdy drinking song about the amusing and painful punishment that an adulterous hobbit suffered at the hands of his angry wife and the family goat.

“This song is completely inappropriate for Jett and Alexa,” Zechs noted.

“It most certainly is,” Treize agreed. “By the way, I assume you've noticed the highly suspicious character sitting over their in the corner smoking a pipe.”

“Yes,” Zechs said. “I've been debating whether or not I should take him outside and run him through just to be on the safe side. He's been watching Frodo. Sam's noticed him, too, I think.”

“Let's just watch him for now,” Treize said.

Pippin concluded his song by demonstrating the position in which the hapless adulterer ultimately found himself and Jett let out a shriek of laughter. Pippin was blown off the table into Frodo. Frodo let out a startled cry as he was bowled over backward off the bench. He cried out again when a sparkle of gold tumbled out of his vest pocket and started to roll across the floor.

“No!” Frodo cried. He dove across the floor, grabbed at something, and promptly disappeared.

“Well, that's awkward,” Zechs murmured.

Fortunately, almost no one seemed to notice because they were all still rubbing their ears. Duo kept them distracted by launching into one of Sir Damodin's raunchier ballads.

Roku slipped off the bench and walked over to where the invisible Frodo was still lying on the floor. “You should probably get out of sight before you reappear, Frodo,” he advised. “People tend to get excited when folks disappear and reappear unexpectedly.”

“Keep a nose on him, Roku,” Treize said. “Zechs and I are concerned about something.”

“Ok.”

At that moment, the suspicious character in the corner slid off his stool. He darted across the room surprisingly quickly just in time to grab the suddenly visible Frodo by the shoulder. “Come with me!” he whispered fiercely and started to drag Frodo off. He didn't get two steps before Treize and Zechs appeared on either side of him.

“I beg your pardon,” Zechs said calmly, “but I would appreciate it if you unhanded our companion.”

The man looked like he was going to protest, but then he just released Frodo's shoulder with a nod. “You should all come upstairs, then,” he said gravely. “There is much you should know.” He gave them a dark, portentous glare.

Treize nodded slightly. “Very well. Lead the way.”

The man led Frodo, Treize and Zechs up a flight of stairs to a small, private room. Sam trailed after them, his eyes round with concern. Once inside, the man closed the door. “I know what you carry, Frodo, and you would do well to keep it better hidden.”

“I carry nothing!” Frodo said hastily.

“That horse got out of the barn when you disappeared in the common room, Frodo,” Zechs pointed out. He turned his attention to the mystery man. “Who are you?”

“My name is Aragorn, though most people call me Strider. I'm a Ranger.” He bowed slightly. “Gandalf sent me to meet Frodo and take him to Rivendell.”

“Where's Gandalf?!” Frodo exclaimed in alarm.

“I don't know,” Aragorn said. “All I know is that I must get you safely to Rivendell without delay. You're being hunted by the Nazgul and should they catch you, your lives will become unending misery.”

“What are Nazgul?!” Sam interrupted, trying to put a brave face on his fear.

Before Aragorn could answer, the door banged open and everyone else crowded in.

“See, this is where they are,” Roku said.

“Who's this?” Heero glared suspiciously at Aragorn. “Trouble?”

“He's Aragorn,” Zechs said. “He was just about to tell us that the hobbits are being hunted by something evil. These Nazgul are evil, I assume?”

“The very foulest evil,” Aragorn said in a foreboding hiss. “They are undead creatures who will suck you into the dark abyss.”

“Could you provide a more detailed description, please?” Treize said.

“They appear as riders dressed in black and they are drawn to the ring Frodo carries.”

“Evil creatures on horseback,” Heero grunted. “How come the evil creatures get to ride and we're on foot?”

“Don't start with that again,” Quatre said. “Do you know where these creatures are, Aragorn?”

“They are close.”

“That's helpful,” Wu-Fei muttered.

“They will very likely attack tonight,” Aragorn said. “We must hide here and in the morning depart for Rivendell.”

“These quarters are a little cramped for all of us,” Quatre said. “Roku and I will guard the hobbits with Aragorn. Jett and Alexa will stay with us. The rest of you should spread out through the inn and keep an eye on things. Take turns sleeping.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Heero slid back out the door, followed by Wu-Fei and Hadeya.

“Duo and I will guard the stairs,” Trowa said.

“We'll watch the rear hallways,” Treize said. He and Zechs followed Trowa and Duo out the door.

Quatre put his hands on his hips. “Aragorn, you and I will take the first watch. Everyone else should get some sleep.”

The bed was just large enough to accommodate the four hobbits and the two little girls. Roku shifted back into a tiger and stretched out in front of the door, effectively blocking it closed.

Aragorn's eyes widened. “How is that possible?” he said. “What manner of magical creature are you?”

Roku lifted his head. “I can shape-shift,” he said sleepily. “It's no big deal.”

Aragorn blinked. “I see.” He looked at Quatre. “Can you all do that?”

“Not all of us,” Quatre said. “So what do you do, Aragorn?”

“I'm a Ranger. I travel the country and protect the world of men.”

“I see.” Quatre sat down. “That's kind of a vague job description.”

“There is much evil in the world these days,” Aragorn said, puffing his chest out slightly. “Protecting the free people of the world from subjugation and brutality is the highest honor.”

“I can't argue with that.” Quatre regarded Jett, who had removed her shoes to reveal mud-caked toes. He sighed. “That low-life Wu-Fei used a few measly ghouls as an excuse to get out of washing the kids,” he grumbled. “Jett, stick your feet out.” She complied and Quatre murmured a spell. Water appeared out of nowhere and dumped over her feet. “Roku, give her something to wipe her feet clean with.”

Roku lazily reached under his left front leg and produced a towel. He flung it at Jett. She grinned as she cleaned the mud off her feet.

Aragorn watched this exchange with lifted eyebrows. “It seems wasteful to perform powerful magic for such mundane purposes.”

“You can say that because you've never had to bathe these children,” Quatre replied. “I'll use magic any day to get out of giving them a bath.” He clapped his hands. “Alright! Everyone go to sleep. We'll need to get an early start in the morning and there's no telling how much of a ruckus this attack Aragorn expects will cause.”

The hobbits piled onto the bed, and Jett and Alexa squeezed in amongst them. Aragorn sat in a chair by the lone narrow window and Quatre took the only remaining chair, which was next to the bed. He immediately leaned back and closed his eyes. Aragorn remained staunchly vigilant.

Sometime after midnight, Frodo sat up and looked around. Aragorn was still sitting by the window. “Something's not right,” Frodo murmured.

“The Nazgul are here,” Aragorn whispered back.

Frodo blinked in alarm and clutched his vest pocket. At that same instant, a horrifying shriek rent the air.

“No shrieking, Jett,” Quatre mumbled without opening his eyes.

“That wasn't me,” Jett said.

Quatre jumped up as another shriek made the window panes rattle. This shriek was followed by the clanging of swords, which lasted only seconds, and then silence fell. The silence lasted only moments though before there were more shrieks and the pounding of horses' hooves. There was a distant crashing sound, most likely the town gate being smashed down, and then silence again. By now, all the hobbits were sitting up, clinging to each other with round eyes.

The door opened and Treize stepped in with his sword in his hand. “It's over. They've made a run for it. That was kind of fun.”

Duo followed him in. “Heero and the others have gone to make sure they've really left.” He rubbed his head. “Those were some of the coldest thoughts I've ever felt. I still have chills.”

“We were fortunate,” Aragorn said. “But they will continue to follow us, so we will have to be careful. The Nazgul cannot be killed, only repelled.”

“We'll keep that in mind,” Quatre said. He turned to the hobbits. “You should try to go back to sleep. We'll move out at first light.”

“After breakfast, I hope,” Pippin said.

“Of course,” Quatre said. “Although,” he grinned at Alexa and Jett, “if we take the children out without feeding them, the resulting growling might scare off the Nazgul.”

Duo shuddered. “I think,” said he, “that an unfed Jett might be worse than the Nazgul.”