Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Frog Prince ❯ Part 2 ( Chapter 2 )

The Frog Prince

 

 

Part 2

 

 

With the size of the house, Heero was pleasantly surprised to find the dinning room to be not all that big, the table only meant to seat about five or six, and the place made with more warm mahogany and plush carpets than cold marble or granite, or fixtures of pure gold everywhere you looked. They were fairly close to the kitchen and he could smell the pleasant scents of warm bread and cooked meats practically through the walls. He told himself that he was just hungry, that was what made those smells so powerful, but there was a deeper part of himself that knew it was really because this was the first time he had eaten with another person in a long while, and as hungry as his stomach was, his heart was even worse off, making everything vivid and strong. He watched Duo for any clues for what to do. He had not been in the company of a high-class family… for a very long time. However, the sort of rituals that likewise families partook in, this family seemed to ignore. They ate like any other family, the children simply sitting down as their father brought in the food, roast chicken with potatoes and various vegetables. Heero sat next to Duo, not sparing Relena another glance, even as he could feel her disgusted gaze on him as he sat at the table with the rest of her family. Duo shot him an unintentional, relieved look and Heero saw a spark of fear in his endless violet eyes. He realized that, as happy as he was to have been welcomed into this home, to have someplace warm and a home-cooked meal, Duo was even more relieved that he was staying. He wondered, not for the first time, just how the longhaired boy had lived his life, if he was so lonely that he was so desperate for a stranger's company. No one should live that way. Though, he supposed that he couldn't really talk. After all, hadn't his need for human contact, beyond the food and the shelter, been the one driving thing that had made him seek this place out? Living in the woods all by himself, struggling to survive day by day out in the cold wilderness, he had nearly gone mad with the need to talk to another human, to the point that, here he was, finally surrounded by people, and he felt so awkward, he didn't know what to do. He was used to being lonely, but the thought of Duo being the same way felt so painful for some reason. He didn't want the boy to be sad. He remembered the sound of him crying, and the sight of his smile. He just wanted him to smile like that again and he was glad that his presence could bring some sort of comfort, even if he felt lost, himself.

It was Duo's sister, grudgingly walking towards their side of the table that took his attention away from Duo. Heero had missed what had transpired only seconds earlier, too lost in his thoughts and watching the emotions on Duo's face to notice, but Duo had. Relena was still in her blue skirt and white top, though, somehow, she had come through the woods looking as perfect as she had entering it, Duo thought mournfully of his own ruffled braid from all the running he had done. They usually sat on opposite sides of each other at the table, facing one another, though they never spoke or exchanged so much as a glance as they ate, with their father at the head of the table, like the referee he often was between them. He had watched as Relena had attempted to return to her usual seat. He knew it wasn't because it was `her' seat, he could see the disgust in her eyes as clear as day. She didn't care that Heero was kind and lonely, like he did, she only cared about how he looked, lived, and smelled and had attempted to take her usual seat to avoid being near him. It was probably petty, but he wanted to smirk at her when their father made a stern noise at her and she stomped over to their side of the table. Of course, that feeling quickly faded once he realized that this meant he would have to deal with Relena's attitude through the whole dinner. His only consolation was that Heero was more friendly with him than her and acted like he wanted to avoid her as much as Duo did.

Relena pushed her vegetables around with her fork. There was no way she was going to eat with that animal sitting next to her, she decided. It wasn't a conscious decision, she was just so disgusted that her appetite left her. It was ludicrous, why they had to give shelter to the vagrant, why he had to dirty their table and eat their food, but even she knew there was nothing she could do about it. It seemed apt that Duo would be the one to befriend the man, he always did have an affinity for wild beasts, she just couldn't see how he could sit there and eat like it was a normal day, like their home hadn't been invaded. She couldn't believe that their father was actually letting the man stay! If this continued, she would end up starving to death! Then wouldn't her father see! That would teach him that mongrels stayed outside with the other mongrels, not with people like them! She stabbed at her chicken viciously, imagining that it was Duo or Heero that she was piercing with the piece of cutlery. Too bad it didn't scream or bleed to keep up that illusion. Duo would make the easier target, anyway, as much as she hated Heero, he could overpower her too easily.

Duo glanced over at Relena, frowning when he realized that she really wasn't eating anything. Was she proud, so stubborn, so… spoiled that not getting her way would prompt her to not eat? Did she honestly think that she was punishing anyone but herself by doing it? He wanted to think `good riddance', but that part of him that loved her, simply because she was his sister, wanted to prod her to eat, was worried about her reaction to his new friend. But that thought only prodded himself to think of Heero and found that his attention was easily diverted to the man. He still wasn't sure why, if he was really that lonely, or if it was something else, but he had never felt so happy, knowing that Heero was going to be staying with them. Yes, he was that lonely. He wanted someone to talk to, to tell his fears and dreams and thoughts to, even if it was a perfect stranger. He certainly couldn't talk to his family about them, his father who secretly hated him for what had happened all those years ago, his sister who hated him just for breathing… and Heero was kind. In the short hours that they had met, he had been more attentive, more patient and caring, than anyone he had met. When he looked in Heero's pretty blue eyes, he could see that same loneliness and he knew that it wasn't just a reflection of himself. It made him want to help the strange man, to learn all he could about him and hope that they could help each other. Even if he knew he didn't deserve to feel that sort of happiness, he still yearned to feel it. He wondered why Heero had been living in the woods. Did he have anyone to take care of him? Probably not. As bad as he felt, as lonely as he was, Duo still had a roof over his head and he still had his father, who was never cruel to him. He couldn't imagine living in those woods… of course, it was probably easier for someone who wasn't as scared as he was of them.

The chicken was practically heavenly and it took all of Heero's memories of proper manners not to inhale the food. Living in the woods, things like vegetables and spices weren't exactly easy to come by so, honestly, he didn't know what was better, the perfectly cooked chicken with its tender flesh and hearty taste, or the simple, crisp greens it had been served with. Everything was fresh and well-made. The only unpleasant thing was that he had not ingested this much food in many, many years, only being able to catch, kill, and gather small bits of food at a time, so his stomach clenched and fluttered as he ate, telling him that, like any muscle, it wasn't used to this sort of activity, but the taste alone made it impossible for him to care about a stomachache. If he was being rude with how quickly he was eating, or that he had to get seconds in mere minutes, Duo and Treize didn't show any disgust about it. With Relena it was hard to tell, since he had met her, she had always appeared disgusted. It was amusing, actually, how dramatic and sensitive the girl was. It was odd, her attitude towards him didn't bother him nearly as much as when she turned that disgust towards her little brother. He thought that she should at least respect him because they were siblings, but it was more than that. He didn't want to see anyone treating the longhaired boy that way.

“So, Heero,” Treize's deep voice penetrated the quiet and Heero's darker blue eyes met his, “How long have you been living in our woods?”

Heero blushed at the insinuation that he had invaded Treize's property and, really, he had. He should have felt bad about trespassing, even though the woods were large, he had right to be here. Even if he had gotten permission, he would have no right to be here, but he had been desperate for some place to hide and the dark woods had been so perfect.

“I've been here for ten years,” he confessed. Duo and Relena looked at him with wide eyes while their father just stared at Heero, taking it in stride.

“How have you been living?” Treize pressed, ignoring the obvious question of why. Heero smiled softly.

“I'm a decent hunter and the woods are filled with enough water, berries, and wild animals to keep anyone alive, if they only know what they are doing,” he said.

“And do you know what you're doing?” Duo asked. If anyone else had asked him that, Heero would have thought that they were baiting him, but Duo had a genuine worry to his tone. Heero nodded to him.

“When I was young, younger than you, my father taught me how to hunt and take care of myself,” Heero's voice became sad at the mention of his father. Duo picked up the tone easily and bit his lip, wanting to ask where his father was and why he was living all alone, but didn't want to talk about things that might upset his new friend.

“Then where is he?” Relena blurted out, voicing Duo's thoughts, “Why are you here instead of with your family?”

Duo was instantly glad that he hadn't asked as a very dark, depressed look came into Heero's eyes.

“My family is no longer able to care for me and I am unwanted in my home,” the blue-eyed man said bitterly, “I'm alone. I did not mean to trespass,” Heero apologized. Treize shook his head.

“It's fine. No harm done,” he assured their guest, “But how have you managed to stay hidden for so long? My late wife often went into the woods for walks and picnics, but she never told me of seeing another person out there.”

Heero looked away from Treize quickly, hiding his expression.

“Those woods are very large,” he pointed out, “I never stayed in one area for very long. Even an experienced camper would have found it hard to spot me.”

Treize nodded in understanding.

“Perhaps you can take my children with you on a hike one day? I often find it hard to pull away from my work to spend time with them, unfortunately, and I hate having them running around in those woods on their own,” Treize glanced at Duo, who blushed at the attention, “Today just proves that. Though Relena knows the woods fairly well, Duo rarely goes in them.”

Duo brightened at the insinuation that Heero might spend more than just a few days with them. Yes, the woods terrified him, but Heero knew them better than even Relena did and he would protect him. Oddly, the thought of Heero being with him made his lingering fear abate. He trusted the man, why, he did not know, but he did trust him enough to make him safe in those woods. He loved nature, if it weren't for his fear, he would go into the woods more often than Relena did. It was ironic, it was his memories of his mother and his fear of getting lost that kept from finding his way through the forest the few times he did venture into it.

“C-could you?” Duo asked Heero nervously, afraid of being rejected. He couldn't figure it out for the life of him, how the stranger could make him feel so edgy and relaxed at the same time, and why Heero's opinion of him was so important. He blushed darkly as Heero patted his hand.

“I would like to,” the man said, blushing a little himself at the feeling of human contact, amazed that he had even initiated it, but there was something about Duo that made touching easy. Relena watched the exchange with a pinched look, not wanting Heero to accompany her into the woods any more than she had wanted him in her house. Why couldn't he just go away?!

They finished the rest of their dinner in a companionable silence while Relena brooded and Duo thought, excitedly, about hikes and new friends. Treize watched his son carefully, wanting to cry in relief as true happiness blossomed in Duo's eyes for the first time since his Noin had died. He had told Heero that he was allowed to live with them because he had saved his son, but now, he would have allowed it anyway, just to see that look on Duo's face again.

 

*****

 

It was useless, Relena realized after rolling over to her other side for what felt like the hundredth time. There should be no problem. Her bedroom was the right temperature, the shades were closed, her door locked, and her sheets were perfectly soft and cozy, but she just couldn't fall asleep and she had been trying for hours now. She knew why sleep was eluding her so soundly. It was all Heero's fault. Though he wasn't in sight, the knowledge that he was in the room next to hers made her feel restless. She had meant what she had said to her brother earlier that day, she didn't trust the man, and she certainly didn't like knowing that his dirty self was sleeping in one of their expensive beds! She had no idea how he had won over her father and brother so quickly, but it was quite annoying. At least he hadn't told the complete truth about their meeting. She rolled over again, looking at the ball of quartz that was sitting, brazenly, on her bedside table and smiled lazily. She didn't care how much her brother begged, she wasn't going to give back his pretty plaything. She was doing him a favor, really. Boys shouldn't have pretty stones, it was simply inappropriate. It was time he grew up anyway. A frown came across her pretty features and she sighed deeply. As long as that strange man was in her house, she wouldn't be able to sleep or eat, she just knew it! He hadn't even taken a long shower before going to the guest room, it was just disgusting! It would take hours to get that smell of feral beasts and dead leaves out of the sheets. She hoped her brother was happy! It was because of him that she was suffering this way! She flicked on her bedside lamp and reached under her bed for the book she had been working her way through. If she was going to suffer from insomnia tonight, she would at least do something productive. She managed only five pages, however, before someone was knocking on her door. So immersed in her reading, she jumped and dropped the hardcover novel. She growled low in her throat, hating to be startled like that.

`Now what?!' she thought in exasperation. What if it was the wild man, come to rape her in her sleep, her mind supplied. Of course, that was silly since he wouldn't bother knocking if that was what he wanted, and she was quite sure that he lacked the guts to do so. With a snort of anger, she stomped over to her door, caring not about waking anyone else up since she was, obviously, still wide awake, and threw the door open.

 

*****

 

On most nights, Duo could use the soft chirping of crickets outside his window to lull himself to sleep. He had tried counting sheep and drinking warm milk and all sorts of sleeping remedies, but this one worked the best. It was for that reason, and that reason alone, that he hated winter. Winter had its charms, just as all seasons, and he liked the snow and the little foxes that he could see playing at the edge of the woods, he even enjoyed the cold because the cold brought warm blankets and hot chocolate, but winter also killed the crickets and he never slept soundly. He used to, when he was very, very small and he had still had two parents to tuck him in at night instead of just one. It was cruel to think it, but his mother had always been better at bedtime than his father, had always known the good stories and the best songs. Then, she had died and the nightmares had come. Well, in reality, it was the same dream over and over. He was standing in the woods, a small child, just like he had been then, looking into a large puddle of viscous-looking mud, watching in cold silence as his mother drowned in it, the mud seeming almost to be alive as it tried to swallow her while she screamed for him. Then, the mud would fill her eyes and she would start to sink. It was only then that he would come back to himself, instead of just smiling down at her cruelly. His tiny body would struggle with her, the mud clinging in huge tendrils like some sort of monster, hungry to feed, and by the time he managed to free her, she would be dead, cold as the mud itself, her eyes filthy and useless. There were variations over the years, some times there were wolves tearing her apart, some times it was the truth of the river and the fleeing goats, but that dream of the mud prevailed through his childhood. He still had these nightmares, but on nights when he could hear the crickets, they didn't leave him crying or screaming for his mother, just… empty inside. He didn't try to fight against these terrible dreams. His mother was dead, it was his fault. What was a little loss of sleep compared to the penance he still begged to befall him?

Tonight, however, it seemed that sleep would never come for him. For once, it wasn't his mother that overwhelmed his thoughts as he laid in his bed, in the dark, the room only illuminated by the moon outside his open window. Tonight, he thought of Heero. It was definitely an odd change for him, thinking of someone alive and kind and not more than a few feet away from him, instead of the dead, or dark things that haunted his nights without that melodic chirping of insects. Heero… he was so strange, but not in a bad way. He supposed that everyone in his life was a bit strange, especially himself, but it wasn't bad. He knew next to nothing about the man, but felt closer to him than he had ever felt with Relena, felt that he was able to talk to him about things he could never admit to his father or even Hilde. He looked rough and a bit scary, but he felt relaxed with him. Maybe it was the kind look in his beautiful blue eyes or how fragile the both of them were apart, but together they leaned and supported. He had learned that much in the less than a day he had known him. He just felt… stronger with Heero. His memories of his mother, or rather, or her death, were not as solid when he was there. He found that… he might actually live with himself when Heero was speaking to him. Wasn't that a form of friendship? Someone that could make the darkness just a little more bright? Heero did that, though how, Duo still couldn't figure out. It certainly helped that Heero was handsome. Not in the clean-cut way that his father was, but in a wild way, like in how a tiger was handsome, or a wolf. He wanted to find out if Heero's skin was as warm as his eyes were when they looked at him and he lacked the knowledge, the person societal experience, to decide if such a thing was wrong or not. He rolled over on his side and smiled at the bird cage near his bed that was covered with a sheet. He was sure that his finch was sleeping quite soundly. On nights like these, knowing that she was sleeping while he could not was, oddly, a comfort. He supposed their was someone in his life that he could talk to, though a bird could hardly hold him or tell him that things would be ok, even if he loved her to pieces. Sometimes, he could let her sweet song sing him to sleep, but it was too late tonight and she was probably long asleep.

When his mother had still been alive, they had had horses out in the stables. Now, they were empty, but he remembered the large animals, and he remembered their handler. He had been a man with a strong Italian accent and deep green eyes. Back then, he had never understood why the man would often disappear with their then cook for hours at a time, or why Relena had said that the man was `gross', but he did now. He knew, from watching television, that not everyone in the world thought that men should be allowed to feel warm, intimate things for other men. But, he also knew that his father had respected their horse handler and cook a great deal and, surely, he had known about their forays in the woods, for every time they disappeared, his parents would share an amused look. Even so, thinking a man was handsome, and Heero was very handsome under his unkempt appearance, that didn't mean he was in love with him. After all, it was impossible to fall in love with someone after just one day, wasn't it? That would just be silly. He was just lonely, that was all, and he needed a friend. Despite not being able to sleep and getting lost in the woods, today had actually turned out really well, in relation to other days when he was stuck by himself with nothing more to do than read and… yearn. The only thing he wished had gone differently was Relena taking his quartz. He knew it was silly. He was fifteen years old and boys didn't carry around such things at his age, but he wanted it back. Relena had always coveted it, so it was probably with her. If Heero hadn't distracted him, he would have demanded it back by now. He wondered if that was why he couldn't sleep, because he knew it was missing from his bedside table. He was just so used to it shimmering in his darkened room that he felt strange, looking over there and seeing only an empty space.

 

*****

 

“What do you want?” Relena demanded, glaring at her little brother as he stood in her doorway with an intense, driven look in his violet eyes. He seldom got looks like that, but when he did, she knew he meant business. Still, she was too irritated with her lack of sleep to care about what he wanted. She cursed herself for turning the light on and letting him know that she was awake. Just what was he doing awake now, anyway? Even as Duo opened his mouth to answer, she was plotting ways of getting rid of him so she could go back to her fruitless attempts at sleep.

“I want my ball,” Duo demanded. Relena blinked at him, her crystal blue eyes wide. Of all the things she had thought that he might want, that had not occurred to her. He usually just let things be, but she could see why he wouldn't let this go and she realized that, if she didn't think of something, he wasn't going to go away, and she certainly wasn't going to give the ball back to him. But, if she simply didn't answer him, or told him no, he would probably get their father involved, and that was definitely something she didn't want. She shifted subconsciously in the doorway, the quartz sitting plainly on her nightstand like a beacon in her mind, even if she knew that Duo wasn't able to see it beyond her blocking his view. This was all Heero's fault! She had begged his help so she wouldn't get in trouble. She had hoped that Duo wouldn't come back, and if he did, he would be too scared from his ordeal to tell their father about her stealing his ball. She had asked the vagrant for help with the intention of not getting in trouble, to just give the damn thing back to her brother to get out of her father's wrath, but the second Heero had given it back to her, she had realized that she would never give it back. Then, Heero had saved her brother and knew the truth… but he hadn't told anyone about it and she couldn't figure out why… She logically went through her options, her mind turning up possibilities in a matter of seconds. She could tell the truth and give the orb back, which her pride and the joy she felt about Duo losing his precious toy would never allow her to do, or she could tell the truth and not give the orb back, in which case it was highly likely Duo would go to their father and she would be in serious trouble and would have to give the orb back anyway. However, she thought, a sneer coming across her features, she still had one more option, she could just lie her way out of it. With a flick of her hand, she tossed her honey hair over her shoulder with an air of dismissal.

“You're too late,” she said haughtily, “I smashed it the second I got the chance! You might find a few pieces of it if you go back into the woods tonight. Other than that, you're out of luck,” Relena had to struggle not to laugh, especially when the color went out of Duo's face at the lie. However, she took a step back when a look of anger, instead of devastation, came over her brother and his hands curled up into tight fists. He was nearly shaking with fury and it was all directed at her. Never in her life had anyone looked at her like that, let alone him. She had expected him to cry, to go running back to his room, even to go whining to their father, but the look of rage on his face was completely unexpected. Her eyes looked down to those fists, suddenly afraid that he was going to hit her.

“Fuck you,” Duo grit out, though harsher things, more hateful things, were on his tongue. He spun and stalked away from her as quickly as he could, worried that he really would hit her if he stayed there any longer. Relena hastily closed her door and locked it, shaking a little. Her eyes couldn't help but stray to the damned shimmering ball on her bedside table. That look in her brother's eyes… it was terrible to see because, for the first time in her life, Relena actually regretted her actions.

 

*****

He wouldn't cry… really… he wouldn't… he was fifteen years old, for fuck's sake, what would crying do? That was the only thing that was keeping him from going to his father, from telling him about what had really happened out in the woods. Telling him about Relena's actions wouldn't accomplish anything, it certainly wouldn't bring his ball back. It had been like that all of his life, Relena would do something terrible to him, but what was the fucking point of telling anyone? Angry, terrible thoughts buzzed in his head and just the thought of acting on any of them made him feel ill. He had wanted to strike his sister… just because she had destroyed something of his… No, that wasn't right… He had wanted to hit her because she had tried so hard to hurt him, and she had succeeded. He could tell himself that that ball was just a thing, it was so small compared to his sister, his flesh and blood, but in that moment, he cared more for it than he did for her. He could call it a simple object, but that was the truth.

Duo stormed down the hall to a large window that had a window seat below it and sat on it, curling up his legs and burrowing his face in his knees. He was so stupid… a cold stone could never replace the warmth and love his mother had given him, it could never replace the friendship he had found in his eldest sister, but, over the years, he had allowed it to do just that. He had replaced the good things, the loving things, with hard rock. Rock couldn't die, rock couldn't abandon you, rock couldn't move away or drown… it was always there, silent and beautiful, lovable, but unable to love him back, unable to hurt him. Yeah, he was stupid. He could feel hot tears on his cheeks. He was crying over a stupid ball of quartz, he was crying over losing the last thing his mother had given him, the last reminder that she had loved him, as well as a physical testament to his greatest sin. And… he hated himself. Losing that stupid ball was like killing his mother all over again. It had been a gift and he had lost it, just like he had lost her. The last thing that could comfort him… and his sister had smashed it to pieces. In the end, the things that he loved got smashed, but, somehow, he ended up intact, his heart got mangled, but he survived. He was so sick of it… he wanted his father to point his finger at him and scream `murderer!' He wanted, for once, to not doubt the people that claimed to love him. He was just so tired of wondering if his father was secretly hating his existence behind his back, because, how could he not? If his father found out about the quartz, would he finally voice that hatred? He deserved it, to hear those words, it would almost be a balm on his soul, to finally hear his father's hatred. He was sick of love, sick of being so anxious over the warm emotions that he knew he didn't deserve, that he knew had to be fake. Who could possibly love him after all of the mistakes he had made? Love meant trust and respect, but he was just… broken, and completely incapable of being strong anymore. Back then… he had thought that his life was perfect, and he had been blindsided… he hadn't even seen it coming. For all he knew, no matter what he did now, he would just make those same mistakes, how could he feel anything but guilt, but anxiety, believing those things? And he had wanted to strike her… but that wasn't true. Relena didn't deserve his hate, especially when it wasn't really her that he wanted to hit.

Duo wiped at his eyes harshly, scrubbing at his warm tears. He just felt so tired… if he could only sleep for once… he shook his head, wanting to laugh at himself. He just needed to push it all back down. He had let his thoughts and emotions get the best of him again. He just needed to try harder, that was all. If he could just try to keep everything bottled up, then things would be better. He would make some chocolate milk for himself. It would settle his suddenly nervous stomach and sensitive nerves and he would feel better, he might even be able to sleep. He got to his feet and walked down the large, winding staircase, walking down them easily, even in the dark. He paused at the bottom, where there was a huge window, almost filling the entire wall, and silver moonlight shone through it, illuminating the hall like a brilliant lantern. Heero was standing by the window, looking out to where the lights of the town flickered through the tree line in the distance. There was an intense longing in his stare and the moonlight lit up his blue eyes, almost as though they were on fire. Looking at him, Duo felt his heart throb painfully for a brief moment.

“Heero?” Duo said hesitantly, his voice sounding small and soft in the large room. When Heero looked at him, the longing expression was still there and he didn't appear at all shocked by Duo's presence. Duo wondered if he could tell that he had been crying. He had caught him crying the first time they had met, but a second time would just be plain embarrassing.

“Why do you look so sad?” Duo heard his mouth ask before his brain could tell it that it was a very rude thing to ask. To his shock, Heero didn't snap at him, he simply gave him a soft smile. His hair was still very messy and he hadn't shaved, but he was quite as dirty as he had been earlier and at the sight of that smile, Duo felt that annoying throb, deep in his heart.

“You look sad, too,” Heero said just as softly, feeling that same painful throb, “What's wrong?”

Duo blushed as he realized that, even if Heero couldn't tell that he had been crying, he was still incapable of keeping his emotions off his face. Hilde had always told him that he had expressive eyes and she had teased him that the reason why he was the favorite child was because their parents could always tell if he was lying or getting into trouble. It would be pointless lying to Heero about it, trying to brush his emotions off as being tired. And, really, he wanted to talk about the darkness, just for a little while. He wanted someone to tell him what a horrible person he was. But… that wasn't really true, was it? He didn't want Heero to hate him for what he had done, he wanted them to stay friends. But if Heero couldn't forgive him, basically a stranger, for it, how could his father and sister ever forgive him? Did he even want forgiveness? Did he want relief, or did he just want someone to hurt him so the pain he had caused the people that he loved wouldn't be so painful anymore? He sighed without even realizing it and sat on one of the steps. Heero joined him and Duo blushed darkly with the feeling of his warmth next to him. It was comforting though, in a way that his father couldn't comfort, in a way that his ball had never been able to comfort. A living, breathing person that cared for him, at least because Heero thought he was an honest person, but was far enough away from his family's dramas that, perhaps, he could actually give him some advice without being emotionally invested. Or, at the very least, he could listen to him without walking away in horror or disgust. He wrapped his arms around his knees and leaned forward slightly.

“My mom died when I was five,” Duo murmured, “It was a month after my birthday. She had given me this pretty stone ball,” he smiled fondly, but didn't linger on the thought. It didn't matter anyway, the ball was long gone. He stiffened for a brief moment as he felt Heero squeeze his shoulder, trying to offer him comfort, but he relaxed into it easily, though something deep inside of him shivered at the feeling of his warm hand on his thin shoulder.

“I'm sorry,” Heero breathed and Duo realized that he really did sound sorry about it.

“It was a long time ago and I was so young, I don't have a lot of memories of her,” Duo tried to brush it off, but wasn't that why he had decided to tell Heero about this, to talk about his feelings instead of downplaying them like he normally did? Heero's hand stayed on his shoulder and he couldn't deny that it felt good. He didn't want it to leave, he didn't want Heero to leave…

“That doesn't matter,” Heero protested, “My mother died when I was seven and my father died ten years ago, but I'll always miss them. To me, it hurts just as much now as it did back then, I'm just better now with coping with that loss. It… it never goes away,” Heero admitted softly, “When you're a kid, your parents are everything and it's so hard when they leave, whether by their own choice, or if they're stolen from you. I'm glad that you still have your father, at least he's helped you.”

Duo rubbed his bare feet against the carpeted stairs nervously.

“I love my father, but… he has no reason to be here for me,” Duo confessed with a dark tone, “It was all my fault, my mother's death… I killed her,” he said and his voice was filled with such despair and self-hate that it made Heero feel ill, he wished he could do more to comfort the boy than just putting a hand on his shoulder, but he felt lost with knowing how to comfort someone. He hadn't had to do it for so long, it was too hard to remember how. He seriously didn't believe that Duo, especially at five years old, had killed his mother. It was impossible. But, Duo's fear and self-loathing was strong enough to make it real. Even if it was impossible, Duo believed it and he couldn't allow that.

“I was playing with the goats that day,” Duo continued, his voice low and sounding tired, “We used to have all sorts of animals here, horses, goats, bunnies, we even had some sheep, but they died from a wolf when I was four. Mom loved animals, I think that was why we had them, even though this isn't a farm. I don't remember the sheep a lot, but I remember how distraught she was and all the blood in their pen. When she died…” Duo's breath hitched a little, he missed the animals, it was probably why he doted on Sally, the finch that Relena had tried to care for, but had been given to him, “We got rid of all of the animals, except for some koi fish that Dad let's me take care of, and a finch that my sister used to have. They were Mom's animals and… we just couldn't take care of them without her.”

Duo swallowed roughly around all the things that he didn't want to say.

“They say that I left the pen open, and I must have. She left the house to chase after them in the woods. She went out all alone and it was muddy, so when she slipped in the river, there was no one to help her. She drowned and… they brought her body to the house the next morning,” Duo's fingers dug into the loose fitting pajama bottoms that he wore, but it didn't hurt enough, so he continued to dig until he could feel his nails in his skin through the cloth, “It was all my fault. If I hadn't been so irresponsible, she'd still be alive,” he whispered, almost to himself, “And now, my father and my sister hate me, because I murdered Mom. I'm sure my father does, even if he doesn't say it, even if he feeds me and wishes me good night, I'm sure that, inside, he's wishing that I had fallen into the river instead.”

Duo didn't even realize that he had been sobbing as he told the story until Heero suddenly yanked him into his arms, folding him into his strong chest, as though his larger body could protect him from everything. Duo found that it was easier to cry with those kind arms around him. He didn't see the dark, devastated, and nearly indescribable look in Heero's blue eyes. They looked just as tortured as Duo's did and Heero had to force himself not to hug the boy too tightly. He felt like there was something nasty inside of him that was eating at his insides and he realized that he was crying, too, crying for the darkness that Duo felt, the secrecy, and for his own mistakes that he did not dare to share with the burdened teenager that so desperately needed his comfort. It seemed like hugging Duo was all that he could do, but, in the wake of Duo's pain, it seemed so easy.

“Don't say that!” Heero hissed, his voice thick with emotions, “Don't you ever say that! You think that your father would be happy if his baby boy had died instead of his wife?! You think that your mother would have ever forgiven your father for thinking such terrible things?! She would hate him for it! It's not your fault… it was an accident, that's all! It had nothing to do with you… you didn't murder her…” Heero almost gasped as he felt Duo wrap his arms around him and pull closer, their bodies pressed together, a deep warmth filling his chest at the feeling of the younger boy. He could feel Duo shaking and he knew that it wasn't from the cold. Had Duo lived these ten long years, with absolutely no one telling him that his mother's death hadn't been his fault? What was Treize thinking?! Did he honestly believe that Duo was to blame? No, that couldn't be right… Treize would never believe that, but even if Duo hadn't wanted to talk about it, even if they both had been in too much pain to speak of that night, he shouldn't have let Duo feel this way. It was too… wrong.

“Your mother loved you very much,” Heero murmured, “You were the world to her. She could never blame you for anything and I'm sure that your father was the same way. They could never stop loving you, even if they wanted to. Don't listen to Relena's stories for a minute, don't you dare…”

Duo's head shot up from the cocoon of warmth and comfort that Heero had created to stare at him with wide eyes.

“How… how did you know that Relena told me those things?” he asked in shock. Heero found that it was very hard to look at him with his violet eyes tinged red and wet from tears. It was a look that the boy made heartbreaking.

“Your sister… isn't a very nice person,” Heero responded carefully. He knew that Duo and Relena weren't close, but he might be offended by insulting his older sister, “I doubt any of your servants, or your father, would tell you what had happened, whether it was your fault or not.”

Duo looked back down, biting his lip. Heero was right. Even if his father hated him, he hadn't been the one to tell him those things. He had heard, when their servants had been bringing in his mother's body, that she had probably slipped and fell in the water chasing goats, since the animals were wild in the forest and she had been found in the bay of the river. But, it had been Relena who had pointed out, both to him and to their father, that Duo had been with the goats the previous day. It had been her that had accused him of inadvertently murdering their mother. He couldn't blame her for that, since it was the truth, but he still felt some… hate for her for it. It was odd that Heero could figure his sister out so quickly, but he could understand how he could see Relena as someone who would do something like that.

“How can you know so much about my mother and my sister?” Duo asked in confusion, “You've only known Relena a day, and you never met my mom.”

Heero blushed, but hid it by placing his head on top of Duo's.

“I guess… everyone has problems with their families,” Heero murmured.

“Even you?” Duo pressed, then shut his mouth firmly when he realized he was being rude again, “I'm sorry, you said both your parents are dead, and you're on your own, I shouldn't have said that.”

Heero chuckled.

“It's ok. My… problems are not nearly as traumatic as yours. Both of my parents died of natural causes. My mother had a brain aneurism, but my father had cancer. I was fifteen when he died and I spent an entire month saying goodbye to him. Unfortunately, I didn't have much in the way of a family once he left,” he explained.

“Is that why you looked so sad when you were looking out the window, because you miss your parents?” Duo asked, lifting his head to look Heero in the eye again. Heero shook his head.

“Like I said, ten years is a long time, and though I'll always miss my parents, they're dead and I've come to grips with that, in the decade I've spent in the woods,” Heero confessed, smiling a bit bitterly, “More than them, I miss my home. I'm so far away from it and I can never go back there. It's beyond the mountains somewhere… and I miss my friends. It's harder to miss something, knowing that it's still out there, but you can never find it again, than something that is long gone and can never come back. At least for me,” he amended, “I don't mean to belittle your mother's death-,”

“I'm not offended,” Duo reassured him, “If… if you left me and went back into the woods, and I knew that I could never find you again, no matter how hard I looked, but that you were out there anyway… I think that I'd feel that way, too,” he said with a deep blush. Heero gasped as Duo suddenly hugged him tighter, burying his face in Heero's tan neck.

“You don't have to be alone anymore,” Duo whispered, his voice sounding almost panicked, “You don't have to be lonely or sad anymore. You'll always have a home here.”

Heero had been detached from society for a long time, but he wasn't an idiot. He could hear in Duo's voice that he was talking about the both of them, that Duo was just as desperate for him to stay as Heero was. He matched Duo's grip on him easily, trying to comfort as best as he could. In a gesture he had thought himself incapable of, he kissed Duo's cheek, and he wasn't sure if it was a fatherly kiss, or one between two very good friends, but that warmth in his chest stayed rooted.

“Neither of us has to be alone, I'll stay, Duo, if that's what you want,” he said softly.

“Is that what you want?” Duo echoed, his voice sounding almost hollow with a haunted quality, “You've been a better friend to me than anyone else I've ever known, and we barely know each other at all, even if we know each other's pasts, we've only known each other for a day. I don't want you to be sad, either. Do you really want to stay here?”

Heero smiled to himself, cupping Duo's cheeks with both hands and swiping away the cooling tears on his skin with his thumbs.

“Yes, Duo, I do,” he said, then lowered his voice to a near whisper, so he was almost speaking to himself, “You're more like your mother than you realize.”

 

*****

 

Duo didn't really believe Heero's words about his mother's death not being his fault, but just that he would think that, believe that, about him was enough of a comfort that when he went back to his bedroom, he was smiling. Actually smiling. Well, maybe it was the fact that Heero had walked him back to his bedroom like… like he was his date or something that had made him smile. No, it was both of those things. Just knowing that Heero would be there if he ever needed him, that he would be able to talk to him, was the best comfort. He had told Heero the very worst thing that he had ever done… and his new friend didn't hate him for it. He hadn't expected that. Though, he suppose that if Heero truly didn't believe that he had caused his mother's death, why should he hate him? If Heero believed the truth, and not some pretty lie, he was sure that he would hate him, and why was that just as scary as his father hating him? Though he knew that his father did hate him, and didn't believe it wasn't his fault. If he did believe that, wouldn't he have said so, like Heero had? For whatever reason, to his surprise, once Heero had bade him good night and his head had hit the pillow, he had fallen into a deep sleep and had no nightmares until morning.

Duo awoke to the melodic sound of Sally singing her morning song and found, oddly, that he was smiling even as he awoke, either because of what had happened last night, his uninterrupted sleep, or the pretty, happy singing of his bird, he didn't know, but for the first time in a very long time, he was actually looking forward to his day. Heero had said that he would take him hiking in the woods and perhaps he could convince his father to let them have picnic… as long as they staid far away from the river, of course. Heero could only assuage his fear so much. He thought back on what his new friend had told him last night. Heero had lost both of his parents, too. Ok, maybe it was cruel to think that he had lost his father. Treize was still alive, but he felt as though he had lost him ten long years ago, because of his mistakes. It was true, their relationship was much more subdued than it had been back when his mother was alive and he knew it would never be the same. He wondered if Heero was really coping with the death of his parents as well as he said he was. Duo knew that the reason why his mother's death was so hard for him to deal with was because it had been his doing, but he also knew that it would also be a difficult thing for him if it had been just an accident, because… dammit… she had been his mother and he knew that he would always miss her, no matter how much time passed. Hell, he missed his eldest sister terribly and she was still alive, and he saw her every summer and for spring and winter breaks. He also wondered how old Heero was. He didn't look very old, but he had said that he had been living in the woods for ten years. Just how old was he? Duo smirked to himself. He supposed his family was a testament to the fact that age didn't matter. Relena was three years older than him and their father treated her like she was the youngest. As he got dressed, refilled Sally's food tray, made his bed, and left his room, he wondered what Heero would like for breakfast. He was sure that, whatever was presented to him, Heero would appreciate, since he had seemed so starved last night. Anyone who had been living in the wild for so long like he had would be happy with any hot meal, but he wanted Heero's first real breakfast in ten years to be special. Duo wasn't much of a chef, but he could make waffles and eggs pretty well.

On his way out the door, Duo braided his hair and promptly ran into a very firm chest.

“Hey, there,” an amused voice chuckled at him. Duo blinked up at Heero, blushing deeply at his blunder.

“H-Heero, I'm sorry!” he apologized, but Heero only smirked at him and ruffled his newly combed bangs a little.

“No harm,” he assured him, “I was waiting for you, anyway. I didn't want to go down to breakfast without you, but I didn't want to wake you, either. You seemed very tired last night,” Heero said in concern, studying Duo's face for any of the stress he had seen there last night.

“I feel better,” Duo confessed, “I was just… very restless, and it helped to talk to someone.”

“Glad to be of some help, considering that I'm not doing anything around here to pull my weight,” Heero said with a smile and Duo couldn't be sure if Heero was serious about the comment.

“You don't have to do a thing! Dad and I are grateful for your help when I was lost and we have a few servants to do most of the work. I usually help out, but Relena doesn't do a thing, but Dad doesn't force her to do anything, either, and at least we're still in your debt,” Duo pointed out.

“I'd like to think that I'm not the type to shirk some chores because I'm lazy. Even if your father says that I don't have to do anything, if I'm going to be living here for more than just a few days, I'd like to help out,” Heero said as they walked down the steps together.

“Well,” Duo said thoughtfully, “If you really want something to do, you can help me with the stuff that I do; feed the koi fish, help with the dishes, and cleaning the windows, oh, and watering my mother's flowers in the greenhouse, too. That used to be Relena's chore, but she never ends up doing it, so I might as well add it to the list,” he said a bit grumpily, but Heero could tell that it was more out of irritation of his sister than the chore itself.

“Why am I not surprised to hear that that girl doesn't do her share?” Heero muttered, still annoyed at what Duo's sister had pulled on him the day before. Instead of getting angry about the insult, Duo gave out a little laugh that had Heero smiling. He loved Duo's laughs, even if they were small and rare. He wanted to get him to laugh more often.

“Good morning,” Treize greeted from the foot of the stairs, dressed in a handsome business suit, his light blue eyes looking from his son to Heero, “I trust you slept well last night, Heero?”

Heero nodded.

“The room was perfect, thank you.”

Treize nodded back to him, then looked at Duo again.

“I'm afraid that you'll have to show Heero around the house today, Duo. I've been called into a meeting and I won't be back until tomorrow morning,” Treize's eyes narrowed and his expression turned sterner and more paternal, “I don't want to come back and hear that you and your sister were fighting again. If she says anything to either of you, I want you to ignore it. Be the better man, Duo.”

“Ok,” Duo said, almost meekly. He often didn't raise his voice to his sister, but Heero had given him the courage to do it, somehow, though, ironically, he didn't want to cause a scene in front of the man.

“Now, then,” Treize continued, “I have to leave now, but Duo can make the both of you some breakfast and I've told the cook to make something nice for lunch and dinner.”

Heero watched as Duo's expression turned softer and he shook hands with his father, saying goodbye. It made him frown, that Duo and Treize were so uncomfortable with each other that they couldn't even hug goodbye. He noticed the frown on Treize's face as well and couldn't help but wonder if Treize really did not want to hug his son, or if he just wanted to respect Duo's space and decisions. He couldn't tell. All he knew was that Duo suddenly became very silent as they walked into the kitchen. Relena was already sitting at the table, eating a frosted croissant, dressed in her light pink pajamas. She gave the two of them a look thick with disdain, taking small bites from her food. She mostly watched her little brother, warily, remembering the previous night and that hate-filled look in his eyes. However, this morning, the heated look had cooled a little and he made his way towards the stove. Heero didn't take his eyes off her, worried what she might do now that her father was gone. It was a silly thought, she was just a teenaged girl, but he couldn't forget the contempt she had for her little brother. Relena realized that he was watching her and glared at him. He suddenly felt the urge to strike her, not because of what she had pulled on him yesterday, or even that she constantly argued and fought with his new friend, but because she had told Duo those horrible things. He had only been five years old, and she had told him that his mother had drowned, and that it was all his fault. She had told him that he had murdered their mother. He didn't care if Relena had been angry or grieving, he hated her for it. Relena backed down as the tall man looked ready to snarl and bite her head off. It was Duo's humming as he took down the frying pan that made Heero look away. He smiled affectionately as Duo turned on the stove. He was oddly… cute, and Heero couldn't help but feel that warmth in his chest again. He didn't notice when Relena put down her croissant with an annoyed, cold expression and walked away from the table, towards Duo.

She couldn't believe that their father had left her all alone with her little brother and a complete stranger, then had told her that the little brat was in charge! What father did that?! Well, she was older, so she was the adult here, not a boy that was too young to even drive! Her first order of business was dealing with Heero. She couldn't throw him out of the house, but she sure as hell wasn't going to treat him like one of the family like her father had been doing. Duo stopped what he was doing as he watched her approach. Any joy he felt about eating breakfast with Heero vanished just by her being near him.

“What do you want?” he ground out. He had wished that she would just finish her breakfast and leave them alone for the rest of the day. He was still pissed at her for last night and was in no mood to deal with her attitude towards Heero. She shoved him back and yanked the frying pan off the stove.

“If he wants breakfast, he can go and forage berries or something,” she sneered, “There's no reason to give him our food when scraps will do just fine.”

Duo's hand curled into a fist and Relena felt that brief spark of fear again.

“You stupid-,” he snarled.

“It's fine, Duo,” Heero said tersely, narrowing his eyes at Relena. She was right, he had lived hand to mouth and he could easily survive without their food, but he was more annoyed at her shoving Duo and ordering him around. He certainly didn't want to cause the two siblings to fight any more than he already did. Though… he had never imagined in his life that he would come between two beautiful teenagers. It was actually kind of funny.

“He's not eating our food!” Relena snapped, folding her arms over her chest. Heero turned on his heel and walked out of the kitchen, heading for the doors that lead outside. Duo watched him go with a pained expression, then glared angrily at his sister.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” he exploded. Relena flinched, not used to his brother's anger or cursing.

“Don't talk to me like that!” she snapped back, “I'm your big sister, or have you forgotten?”

“Heero is our guest, you can't just… forbid him to eat!” Duo growled.

“I can do what I want,” Relena said snidely, “I'm in charge, here and I'm not having that… animal in places where he's not wanted.”

Suddenly, Duo was in Relena's face and she stumbled back, seeing the urge to do something violent for her in his expression.

“I hate you,” he hissed and whirled, following Heero's flight.

 

 

End part 2